56 thoughts on “Sure Thing, DUMBFUCK”

  1. Hahahahaha! What a jokester that Billy is! Always with the fun and games!!

    I hope Billy is holding his breath waiting for that Affidavit!!

    1. If I remember correctly, he's attempted to do something of this sort before. He seems to think that repeating an offer that means absolutely nothing will actually, um, I don't know, get him something? Maybe? If he drinks enough perhaps?


    1. That was my philosophical thought, along the lines of aren't we all the brotherhood (sisterhood) of Paul Krendler? And if so, consider if you will, he ain't heavy, he's my brother? Also, I am he as you are he as you are me, And we are all together...so I am the eggman
      They are the eggmen, I am Paul Krendler, Goo goo g' joob. So spread this affidavit far and wide across the www. Include a certain address in Southern Wisconsin. He wants affidavits? ask and you shall receive.

  2. Yeah, what's stopping anyone from using this form? He could get 15 of these back, with postmarks from Tacoma, Washington to Cape Canaveral, Florida. Perhaps a few international ones.

  3. Has it occurred to anyone that this may indicate a certain degree of uncertainty that Paul is Patrick?

    1. No, no, no... If he doesn't get this back from Paul Krendler filled out and notarized, it's absolute 1000% proof that Paul = Patrick. After all, Patrick would be the only one not to fill it out and send it to him.

      Then again there is the possibility that Paul doesn't live somewhere that has counties - let alone within a state. Would he need to travel somewhere that does to get it filled out? (Showing my ignorance perhaps; but, other than Notary Public, are there other titles and ranks for them?)

      But, somehow I would imagine the next steps would be to request, harass, attempt to subpoena, file suit, etc. against the notary to get the Notary to give up the identity of Paul Krendler. Something I don't think the notary would be required to do as he would not be required to keep a record of the actual identity, just that the person in front of him is not Patrick.

      1. Exactly. notaries are required by law to keep track of who they notarize documents for. They ask for a copy of the persons drivers license or other state ID and write down the name, etc. in their log book which has to be available for inspection in order for them to maintain their notary status. No idea if that could be subpoenaed but it's likely possible or worst case someone visits the notary in person and SEs them out of the info. I'd think the better approach, if it ever became necessary, would be to have a lawyer acting on one's behalf sign a document to that effect. Client attorney privilege, etc.

  4. Monday: The emailer is KRENDLER!
    Tuesday: Never mind (hic!) http://archive.is/yRsHX

    1. p.s. I hope michael.caffey@cbre.com has the good sense to email "Bill Schmalfeldt"
      (re: http://archive.is/yRsHX )

      1. https://twitter.com/SchmalfeldtRUs/status/720030280623505408
        Schmalfeldt R Us ‏@SchmalfeldtRUs 7m7 minutes ago
        I hope so, too. Then he will have a better idea of the ideology of the people who have been harassing me. Fool.

        LOL, you know who used to tell themselves the same lie? Deb Frisch.
        You know what happened when people googled "Deb Frisch"? They saw what a psycho she was.
        Can you guess what's gonna happen when people google "Bill Schmalfeldt," DUMBFUCK? SAME FUCKING THING!

        p.s. Do the nuns at Canticle and Juniper Courts approve of your threats to "ass rape" people?

  5. You know, a thought occurs to me... If he gets one of these back, how long before he tries to get the notary records?

    1. "If" he gets one of these back? Even if he did not receive a single one from any in the horde, he will forge one - if he already has not done it.

  6. I don't know about other states, but down here in Texas, Notaries do not have Titles or Ranks.

    Wow, that ScooterPuff must have been sucked so far up his ass after receiving Hoge's lawsuit that the handle bars have damaged his brain.

    1. Of course notaries have titles and ranks! He saw it on Parks and Recreation! I bet he thinks notaries doing 21-stamp salutes at funerals is actually a thing.

  7. How in the fuck are you supposed to get a signature of a pseudonym notarized? How the fuck is a notary supposed to verify your pseudonymous identity? With your pseudonymous driver's license? Your pseudonymous birth certificate? Or would that be a Certificate of Pseudonym Creation?

    Holy shit, you're a stupid son of a bitch, Schmalfeldt. A coherent thought would probably kill you.

    1. I hadn't even considered any of that. I'm guessing a notary couldn't do anything with this paperwork since there is no real signature.

    2. "A coherent thought would probably kill you."

      If it didn't, it would certainly die of loneliness, stuck in solitary confinement like that.

  8. We are approaching the "asshat singularity", wherein Cousin Bill has his head *so far up his ass* that he vanishes in a small, shit-scented puff of greasy gray dust...

    1. Is it possible for Bill to get his head so far up his ass that it comes back out his neck and he looks the same as he always has? Or has that already happened? Things to ponder.

      1. TOLF: The Blab is the Klein Bottle of craniorectal insertion... He must be on his 3rd loop by now....

    2. Where is Scar Gordon, Rufo and the Empress Star when you need them to help squeeze Igli Bill back into dust?

  9. I thought Bill was Krendler. He said so. Said I was stupid for doubting it.

    (And I still haven't figured out what he thought that stunt was supposed to gain him.)

    1. Hmmm.. I seem to recall that he noted that he filed some paperwork along those lines; and, it wouldn't surprise me if someone in the office is a Notary. Looks like he wouldn't even need to go outside or wait for the mailman to get the form back notarized. He just needs proof that he's not Patrick (and a photo ID).

  10. Perfect for US District Court 28 U.S.C.1746(b):

    I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the United States that I am not Patrick Grady. Then sign. No notary is needed. Admissible in US District Court.
    Publish on this blog,too.

  11. $10 to get the Blob to leave someone alone?


    From my breakfast bar, on my phone, while eating blueberry yogurt.

  12. Why does Cousin think we're going to do anything he asks?

    We know him. We know what he does. We oppose it.

    Frankly, I wouldn't cross the street to piss on him, if he and the scooty-poofter were en flambé.

    Fuck off, Bill. (Huge clues that he'll never get...)

    1. In re scooty puff en flambé: def. cross the road. My phone camera doesn't take real good shots at a distance, need the close-up, and hey, its not like there's a gas tank to explode.

    1. I won't kill you, but I don't have to save you either.

      I know, Death Threat!!11eleventyawn1!1
      I denounce myself.

    1. Speaking of BART...

      I didn't do it.
      Nobody saw me do it.
      You can't prove anything.

      1. And video is so easily faked these days!

        On my way to an engagement, on my phone, far, far away from my office!

        Oh, and to complete the butthurt, my employer knows all about it!

  13. I tried to help Wailing Willie out. I went down to the local notary and told her I wanted to attest to being Krendler. She kicked me out, said she was Krendler.

    1. Look, you people need to check the assignment sheet in the break room on who is Paul Krendler each day! You can't just say, "Well today, I'm Paul Krendler!" This causes problems down in the payroll department because they get confused who to send the checks for their daily duty.

      So from now on, please, CHECK THE BOARD!


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