An Old Lesson, Repeated

There are certain facts worth remembering and certain things we do not do.  Because it is clear that someone has forgotten, let me remind the Horde in general of the Five Principles…

  1. We do not visit DUMBFUCK websites without protection.
  2. We do not leave comments at DUMBFUCK blogs. EVER. No matter how protected we think we are.
  3. We do not send email to DUMBFUCK. EVER. No matter how protected we think we are.
  4. We archive whenever possible.
  5. We never violate these principles. EVER.  Because there are unpleasant consequences for doing so.

  1. IF we violate the first Principle, we are libeled as stalkers and doxed.
  2. IF we violate the second Principle, we can be sure that DUMBFUCK will attach a pornographic picture from his own library and falsely report harassment to any employer he can find.
  3. IF we violate the third Principle, we can be sure that DUMBFUCK will falsify the headers AND the message, and claim harassment.
  4. IF we fail to heed the fourth Principle, valuable evidence may be lost to the next target of his vexatious litigation.
  5. IF we violate any of the first four Principles, we also violate the Fifth Principle.

Therefore, we do not violate the Five Principles.

If you are unable to follow any of the Principles, there are precautionary measures you should take. I say should, because I cannot say must.

  1. IF YOU MUST violate the first Principle, do it from a public Wi-Fi outlet like a coffee shop, a retail store, or a public library.  Be sure to find a quiet corner or a screen with a privacy filter, because you never know what self-created filth DUMBFUCK will publish for God and everyone looking over your shoulder to see.
  2. IF YOU MUST violate the second Principle, TAKE A SCREEN CAP AND POST IT TO IMGUR.COM.  DUMBFUCK will take any comment from any IP he does not recognize, and he will alter it to include harassing – or more likely – pornographic images or pictures of his poop. He will also work in a reference to his wife at every opportunity to increase the victimization factor.  Take a photo of your comment in moderation, because you will only get one comment before being banned, so there is a record of what you actually said.     
  3. IF YOU MUST violate the third Principle, BLIND COPY SOMEBODY! Seriously, don’t be an idiot. And save the headers.
  4. DO NOT WORRY too much about the fourth Principle.  Someone is ALWAYS running overwatch.
  5. IF YOU HAVE thus violated the fifth Principle, consider self-reporting it to your employer, if you have one that cares about such things.  The advance warning to “Google Bill Schmalfeldt” has come to represent a +20 defensive spell in the MMORPG that is the World Wide Web of Minecraft, or something.


Oh God, my inner nerd escaped! Somebody grab him!!


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

19 thoughts on “An Old Lesson, Repeated”

  1. "The stench of imminent failure hangs over the TMZ crew. They show weakness. I just sit and smile. #RWNJ"

    Umm, that isn't our stench, Diaper Boy...

  2. Note that this is not the exclusive list of triggers for Dumbfuck to start stalking you. Just agreeing with someone's comment about Bill can get you doxxed and listed in a Lulsuit.

    Because Bill still thinks butthurt is a tort, despite not being listed in the Second Restatement of Torts.

    (A document which is not law, Bill. In the computer world we know the difference between a standard and an implementation.)

  3. Another BS Question asked, another BS question answered...

      Guess what? I just became Paul Krendler! High five, y'all!

      1. Nice! Pick up your assignment card in the cubicle on the left and make sure you help out with the coffee and donut kitty please!

  4. The grotesque ghoul knows it cannot elevate its loathsome self to be on par with any in the horde, so self-described happy my wife died theMerryWidower desperately seeks to bring others down to its vile level.

  5. So let me get this straight: DUMBFUCK says he runs a "free web virus" scanner on his website and that it all comes up green and so NO VIRUSES!

    This is the same guy who doesn't understand where his notification emails are coming from. He seems to think that because an IP address is close to you, you must be using it!

    So Mr. Internet thinks that a cursory scan for "common" viruses is enough to proclaim his website is free from harmful virus or scripts?

    Yeah, because he's the first person I'd call to solve my IT problems.

    1. Note: it's that he says is open to anyone.


      DUMBFUCK strikes again.

  6. *grabs Krendler's inner nerd and stuffs him back in the box*

    There! You didn't say there would be housekeeping involved in this, dammit! I'm a horrible housekeeper. Just ask my ex-husband what it made him decide to be. lol

  7. In six years I have never visited any of his websites if not archived and have never sent him an email. Thus, he has never been even remotely close.

    1. I, on the other hand, visit his domains whenever I choose, and he's never seen a trace of even one of my visits.

      How? I was there when the Internet was invented, and I know all of its secrets.

      I have computer minions scraping his sites constantly, archiving every single change, for my future use, and for the use of law enforcement.


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