There are certain facts worth remembering and certain things we do not do. Because it is clear that someone has forgotten, let me remind the Horde in general of the Five Principles…
- We do not visit DUMBFUCK websites without protection.
- We do not leave comments at DUMBFUCK blogs. EVER. No matter how protected we think we are.
- We do not send email to DUMBFUCK. EVER. No matter how protected we think we are.
- We archive whenever possible.
- We never violate these principles. EVER. Because there are unpleasant consequences for doing so.
- IF we violate the first Principle, we are libeled as stalkers and doxed.
- IF we violate the second Principle, we can be sure that DUMBFUCK will attach a pornographic picture from his own library and falsely report harassment to any employer he can find.
- IF we violate the third Principle, we can be sure that DUMBFUCK will falsify the headers AND the message, and claim harassment.
- IF we fail to heed the fourth Principle, valuable evidence may be lost to the next target of his vexatious litigation.
- IF we violate any of the first four Principles, we also violate the Fifth Principle.
Therefore, we do not violate the Five Principles.
If you are unable to follow any of the Principles, there are precautionary measures you should take. I say should, because I cannot say must.
- IF YOU MUST violate the first Principle, do it from a public Wi-Fi outlet like a coffee shop, a retail store, or a public library. Be sure to find a quiet corner or a screen with a privacy filter, because you never know what self-created filth DUMBFUCK will publish for God and everyone looking over your shoulder to see.
- IF YOU MUST violate the second Principle, TAKE A SCREEN CAP AND POST IT TO IMGUR.COM. DUMBFUCK will take any comment from any IP he does not recognize, and he will alter it to include harassing – or more likely – pornographic images or pictures of his poop. He will also work in a reference to his wife at every opportunity to increase the victimization factor. Take a photo of your comment in moderation, because you will only get one comment before being banned, so there is a record of what you actually said.
- IF YOU MUST violate the third Principle, BLIND COPY SOMEBODY! Seriously, don’t be an idiot. And save the headers.
- DO NOT WORRY too much about the fourth Principle. Someone is ALWAYS running overwatch.
- IF YOU HAVE thus violated the fifth Principle, consider self-reporting it to your employer, if you have one that cares about such things. The advance warning to “Google Bill Schmalfeldt” has come to represent a +20 defensive spell in the MMORPG that is the World Wide Web of Minecraft, or something.
Oh God, my inner nerd escaped! Somebody grab him!!