Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

Now, let me see…how should I handle this Federal lawsuit?

I could play the legal genius and lord my knowledge over the world as I prosecute my case on Twitter, where all the truly fine lawyers do their business…

— OR —

I could type the most bizarre pleadings ever seen in the Eastern District of Wisconsin (or in fact ANY Federal District Court with the possible exception of Maryland, where COMPLETELY BY COINCIDENCE I used to live) and rely on the Court’s good graces to tell me what the rules are and hold my hand and change my big stinky diapers a give me fresh binkies when I cry…

HEY DUMBFUCK!!!

Thanks for EMBRACING THE POWER OF AND!!

Dance, Monkey! DAAAAAAAANCE!!
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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

10 thoughts on “Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. https://twitter.com/RadioDrumpf/status/712462865677066240

    Anybody wanna bet that if Bill had the sack to publish the full non forged email header we would see they all originated from 127.0.0.1?

    Bill is the only person I have known in my entire life that has come close to sending someone 300 emails in a day. Fucking lying sack of shit.

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    1. The 300 emails were auto generated by Digiprove and Bill's incessant right-clicking his own web site.

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      1. I forgot the Internet Dumbfuckery act of 2015 makes it a Federal crime to right click on any website.

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  2. If I may, I nominate "Tomorrow" - Little Orphan Annie for Earworm Wednesday.

    Tomorrow, tomorrow
    I love you, tomorrow
    You're only a day away

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  3. Plaintiff: Your Honor, my argument is very simple. It is obvious that the defendants have written about me. And anyone who writes about me is liable. Simple. So render judgment for me, Beautiful Butthurt Bill.

    Judge: But you have not provided a scintilla of evidence that they wrote about you, let alone wrote anything defamatory.

    Plaintiff: Evidence, shmevidence. This case right here about a motion to dismiss means you must grant a motion for summary judgment on my say so. I am the Plaintiff, and you must believe what I say. I say they defamed me so I win.

    Judge: I do not see in this case anything that denies defendants a right to answer your complaint.

    Plaintiff: That's the thing your Honor. They do not answer. They keep delaying things by squabbling about the qualifications of their incompetent counsel. It's rope a dope. Judge Judy always gets her cases done in less than 30 minutes, and this case has lasted WEEKS.

    Judge: And who started this rope a dope by questioning the qualifications of defendants' counsel?

    Plaintiff: Why I did, but I did not expect an incompetent to defy my right to name defendants' counsel and so delay my VICTORY by engaging in such mean, evil and just plain nasty rope a dope.

    Judge: The court holds as a matter of law that Plaintiff is indeed a dope.

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