35 thoughts on “Why'n't DUMBFUCK Just Hire A Lawyer?”

  1. I love his *restate the question three times in the hopes of a different answer" strategy. It should work well in court.

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    1. "If I can misstate the facts in just the right way, maybe I'll get the answer I want!"

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  2. He "won't" hire a lawyer because none will work for him. I bet any lawyer would refund his money and run screaming the moment Bill showed him the LULZsuit(s) already filed.

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    1. Can someone give me an idea how much Bill is paying these internet lawyers for these answers to his idiotic questions? Is it $10, $25, $100 or more to engage these guys per month? Per question?

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      1. Justanswer.com? Looks like they have bufu complaints on the scam-boards. Here's one lulzy review of the service.
        https://computersavvy.wordpress.com/2009/12/10/scam-watch-justanswer-com-is-it-a-scam-or-is-it-just-a-really-bad-investment/

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        1. The Podcaster General once created a parody commercial for the Ask-A-Lawyer genre of businesses because he was annoyed that the advice he always got at AVVO was "hire an attorney" instead of "Yer a genius, Bill! Go get 'em!"

          He does make me laugh...sadly, it only happens when he's not trying.

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        2. Uh oh, What's the blue book on a scooty-puff?

          It's weird that the Lion of Lebanon didn't catch that. He's usually very thorough about digging up complaints about lawyers.

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  3. The shit sniffing DUMBFUCK forgot to tell the expert he himself says on answering machine, "interesting that you still got [person S] on your answering machine there." What a DUMBFUCK.

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  4. Does anyone see the irony that voicemails are private and confidential? Except when they are in his lawsuit?

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  5. And seriously, Dumbfuck, fishing for a crime?

    You need to get over the delusion that reporting the bad things you do in public is "defamation", or that because most people consider a subject private it's still private after you broadcast the details of your life across the world.

    All your butthurt, all the supposed angst we cause you is nothing more than your anger at being exposed. At having the things you say and do highlighted to show that you're not the saint you imagine. You're not even a normal guy -- you're seriously damaged, a bully, and a coward.

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    1. He can't stand having his bad deeds publicized. He feels deeply shamed. That's why he has to tar and feather me for letting people know who he really is.

      But here's a hint. It's not working!

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  6. ...
    Also, I have alerted her estranged husband that he has an answering machine security issue. ...

    It just cannot stop digging that hole... probably hoping China also has a tranny for the fat freak.

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    1. Aa I said on the other thread, I'll pass out from laughing if it was Sarah's estranged husband who forwarded the message to her to find out what sort of creep was calling him.

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      1. It would be "funnier" if he called the same number back - and it was the victim with the restraining order.

        Wonder what Rockingham County might think of that. Especially with that admission that he knew it was a violation of his orders....

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  7. "Dear JustAnswer Guy,

    A third-party blog published an unsolicited voicemail left for the husband of someone who has a restraining order against me.

    I will give you five stars and big tip$ if you tell me I can sue them under the Espionage Act."

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  8. IANAL He CAN'T engage an IRL attorney because then this fantasy is all over. Bill would be forced to explain his past litigation against the same defendants and to justify the current LulZSuit VI with facts and evidence. The moment that attorney has a basic understanding of the case, he tells Bill to drop it. Bill knows this would be the result of hiring an attorney, which is why he never will.

    I suspect that Bill might be required to hire an attorney in the near future. Especially if his LulzSuit VI goes much further in the court. But that is a discussion for another day. Man, those life insurance proceeds never go as far as you want them to.

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  9. Just a wild guess here... but, I'd be willing to bet that poor dude didn't receive positive feedback and a tip for his efforts.

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