Poor Dim Girl! She Just Cannot Help Herself

*Editorial Note – This post is a parody of the post found HERE, safeguarded against the inevitable soilage spoilage of evidence that is certain to occur at some point in time when he changes focus the fear pee flows. Safe link, etc., etc., etc. Tip your bartender on the way out. Thank you!*

 

NOW COMES PLAINTIFF WILLIAM M. SCHMALFELDT…

 

Oh. Wait. That’s not what this is.

Ahem.

 

Now. Recall that one of the things that mean girl Sarah is being sued for

http://memecrunch.com/meme/9KSPY/one-million-dollars/image.jpg

is taking my words and highlighting just how crazy and whack-a-loon I can sound even if you don’t know the context surrounding them. Because the context just makes me sound like someone who needs a stack of 5150s for their own good so that they could stop stepping on their own scrotum with golf spikes because OW IT HUUUURTS SO MUCH! Ow.

AND, she also steals my name and images and is just a complete meanie to me.

So, this morning what does dim, mean girl Sarah do?

She steals my image – you know, the one that the second-worst washed-up lawyer in the world photoshopped, transforming it under fair use principles and that I ALREADY SUED HIM FOR so damn, I guess I’m collaterally estopped from collaterally esuing again over that or collateral esomething, but you know I only dropped the suit WITH PREJUDICE, mind you, because I just didn’t want to stick around Maryland and finish what I started because I have this whole problem with impulse control (and hearing voices – SHUT UP, MOTHER!) because of PARKINSON’S STAGE ELEVENTY so I TOTALLY get a do-over because I’m just that special – and she also posts a small portion of a remark I made and totally takes it out of context even though she DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ME IN THIS POST!

View post on imgur.com

I mean, I can’t have that. She is always talking bad about me, that mean, dim dim girl.

So, because I have to look good to everyone all the time, even when I’m being an asshole, here’s the entirety of what I said.

View post on imgur.com

So much for her saying that she uses my words in context. Except she didn’t. She said something about how she usually does but that sometimes things are just so LULZY that they can stand on their own. Or something like that. But she’s MEAN, so never mind.

In my bestest friend EVAR Brett Timberlin’s case, he was really really upset at the aforementioned “slavering old man” because he just WON’T quit talking about everything Brett is doing to SHUT HIM UP and he WON’T go away like he should. So to punish him because he can’t win a civil suit against him or that stupid failed actual most-washed-up lawyer in the world (he’s so washed-up he SQUEAKS!) either, Brett decided that he was going to try to bring charges against him for correcting an age comment about her on some other website and for making comments about her off limits on his website because OF COURSE the “slavering old man” said those things to try to get his filthy crew of right wing savages to come and harass her and stalk her and possibly even RAPE HER (Oh wait, that’s what the Muslim refugees in Europe do. My bad!). But still. You know that that’s what they really wanted to do to her. Instead of leave her alone like they actually said they wanted people to do. I mean, who goes to such efforts that they won’t even call her by name unless you pry it out of them? Right. Because, TEENAGED DAUGHTER!!!!! ACTUAL THREATS!!!!!!!

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout used her little grandson who was more in danger from his mother throwing him a football, and now that she has her boyfriend who I’ve decided is a meth head simply because he has a beard (Oh wait. I have one too! And what hair I have left is longer than his! Crap.) and took a selfie in an old Victorian home (Do meth heads actually live in Victorians? Do they KNOW what Victorians are? Nevermind.) which makes him even MORE of a danger to the tyke. But instead she got the judge to issue a no-contact/stalking order for him against ME! I made no threats against the waif. Well, except to give his address. And post the picture of the house he lives in. And to call his grandmother a “right wing hate blogger” which is essentially a call to go beat someone up in certain circles. Plus I’m bestest buds evar with the Speedway Bomber. So. There is that.

But STILL! She LIED to the court. Because they always lie. Hoooooooooooooooooooooge lied! The Causeys lied! Pat Grady lied! Lynn Thomas lied! Doggy Style lied, and I’m gonna get him tooooo! There couldn’t be anything else to it because what I did wasn’t harassment, it was just me trying to get what I wanted and telling her that I knew that I was trying to frighten her in my emails to her and calling her and her husband (Wait! She has a husband AND a boyfriend? Why isn’t she burnt at the stake yet? Or wearing a big, red A? Oh. Then I’d have to wear one too. But it’s okay, because I would make that shit look goooooood, girlfriend! TRIPLE SNAP UP!) after she told me not to and the judge not liking that sort of thing. It couldn’t be because of the things I did. Because THEY LIED!

Every time I refuse to deal with the reality of my situation, I go and do something MORE stupid that digs my hole even deeper.

The zombie horde hopes I continue.

Because it’s FUN!

And all they have is FUN!

 

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

9 thoughts on “Poor Dim Girl! She Just Cannot Help Herself”

  1. Oh, I get it. Without context, you might think that BK really was protecting his daughter from Schmally, if you thought Schmally swung that way.

    In context, you can clearly tell it's just Schmally joining in on libeling Hoge.

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  2. We may be reaching the point where parody becomes impossible because the reality is so flabbergastingly inane.

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  3. I saw a flight instructor once on YouTube telling some wild stores.

    And he said something to the effect that "I have to be telling you what happened, because if I was telling a fiction story, it would have to make sense."

    .... But when so, nobody could be that stupid. I just can't suspend disbelief that much.

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  4. I challenge anyone who holds a copy of the tweet where I said, "Be proud of the filth in your head" to post the whole tweet. #crickets— Cheddar Injection (@hotcheeseshot) February 16, 2016

    //platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

    Bwahahahahahahahaha!

    You "challenge" no one, lardvark. For you to be a challenge would require you to be on our level. You yourself have proven yourself not even close.

    Choke on a trainload of steaming dicks, you fat fucking waste of space.

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    1. Pfft. It's no challenge at all. We were able to pull the tweet up in under a minute. In fact, we probably could find it more quickly that Mr. Bill, given his state of disorganization. We have no idea why he imagines the entire tweet helps his case, particularly since is it comes near the end of a long series of tweets ranting against the HZIC.

      http://kimberlinunmask.com/files/in-context.jpg

      He really should follow Stacy McCain's advice.

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    2. Bill still doesn't get it...

      We are not doing your homework for you, lardass. Same thing I told you in grade school, Cousin.

      You want to prove you were quoted "out of context", you produce the originals.

      We have copies for our own use.

      We did our homework...

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