Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

 
I know there’s NO POSSIBLE WAY that DUMBFUCK could be wrong about the court caring about only one thing, so I won’t even bother trying to explain.

I am but a humble, undead Zombie, and your ways are strange and frightening.

Plus, we make it a policy not to educate monkeys about things like [REDACTED],[REDACTED],[REDACTED] and [REDACTED], among other things.  Doing so simply reduces the amount of FUN that we can have with pointage, laughery and mockification of the DUMBFUCK.

The next couple of weeks are shaping up nicely…

Stay limber, my friends!

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

28 thoughts on “Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. I personally want to see how that False Light Invasion of Privacy claim works out for him.

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  2. Perhaps, but there's an excellent chance that it'll have to addressed.

    "Your Honor, I know that I'm suing for something that isn't a tort under Wisconsin law, but I'm a simple DUMBFUCK and this is only my sixth lulzsuit."

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  3. Speaking of his words.... didn't he promise that he was getting a lawyer to handle all this law-talking-stuff?

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    1. I seem to remember that, as well. But I don't think he could get one to do anything with his complaint bit explain that he needs to drop it, like a hot rock you mistook for a potato on a camping trip.

      At least the sun is more-or-less risen, this morning. From my phone. And it's the Hon. Redding in the drawing room with the tea cosy.

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  4. I can't wait to hear some arguments out loud.

    "They said that I'm a child pornographer, which I am probably not! I just think that pre-pubescent intercourse is really, really funny.

    Can I have $1.7 million now?"

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  5. Does Mayo work similar to Vaseline for butt-hurt? Or am I getting my lubricants confused?
    Do either come in five-gallon buckets?

    No butter on my popcorn please.

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    1. Even better than five-gallon buckets, the just under a ton container: http://www.amazon.com/Ubf-Foodsolutions-Hellmanns-Extra-Mayonnaise/dp/B00B0452LM/ref=sr_1_1?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1455291781&sr=1-1&keywords=mayonnaise&refinements=p_36%3A698507011

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  6. I LOVE this theory that a partial quotation in itself alone is defamatory. "She left out a word your honor: I rest my case." I have an inkling that the jury is going to be hearing the word "gist" quite frequently.

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    1. He probably won't have problems with a judge or jury when the context is further explained.

      Especially when they get to his FAC exhibits.*

      *I'm going by descriptions here. If they're accurate, then they're [REDACTED - DETM - PK], and even being exhibits in a court case... I'm not sure [REDACTED - DETM - PK] and would rather not take the risk.

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    2. hahaha The only jury the fat freak will argue before as plaintiff resides solely in the dementia addled FAILure's hallucinations.

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  7. Judge: "Mr. Schmalfeldt, how many unsolicited contacts did the defendant, agiledog, send you?"
    Schmalfeldt: "None, your Honor."
    Judge: "Mr. Schmalfeldt, how many unsolicited contacts did you initiate to the defendant?"
    Schmalfeldt: "Over a dozen, your Honor."
    Judge: "Mr. Schmalfeldt, how many pictures of you has the defendant posted online?"
    Schmalfeldt: "None, your Honor."
    Judge: "Mr. Schmalfeldt, how many pictures of the defendant have you posted online?"
    Schmalfeldt: "At least three or four, your Honor."
    Judge: "Mr. Schmalfeldt, has the defendant posted pictures of your late wife online?"
    Schmalfeldt: "No, your Honor."
    Judge: "Mr. Schmalfeldt, have you posted pictures of the defendant's wife online?"
    Schmalfeldt: "Yes, your Honor."

    Judge: "Okay, let's talk about this countersuit. Now about these allegations of falsely accusing someone of a crime? This evidence is pretty straightforward ...."

    It's just too bad it would never get to that point, because of the fatal flaw of "Plaintiff William M. Schmalfeldt Sr."

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  8. https://twitter.com/hotcheeseshot/status/698023863532146689

    The obvious question is "How would William KNOW that the law is on his side? He obviously hasn't gone to the trouble of reading it, as evidenced by his suing for something that isn't a tort in Wisconsin, under whose statutes he filed.

    But, as William likes to tell us, "SCOREBOARD!"

    And that scoreboard shows that fully a third of his complaint vanished before he even got the defendants served. Most folks wait until trial for that to happen.

    The scoreboard also shows that this is William's sixth lulzsuit in less than two years, none of which has survived a Motion to Dismiss or their author's own various personality disorders and inability to anything that contradicts his own confirmation bias.

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  9. https://twitter.com/hotcheeseshot/status/698180918587035649

    The confidence of the guy who received ONE response to his lulzsuit and immediately ran away from FOUR defendants is nothing short of adorable.

    I hope that observation doesn't constitute False Light Invasion of Privacy in Wisconsin.

    I slay me.

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    1. And I'm not even going to recount what happened when David Edgren engaged a DUMBFUCK.

      Good times. Good times.

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      1. Speaking of the highly esteemed Mr. E., he has a great post up at the artisan blog.

        https://ukuleledave.wordpress.com/2016/02/11/i-give-up-i-confess/

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      2. I saw that. And noticed that most, if not all, of a DUMBFUCK's claims against Ash are dead on arrival because of Res Judicata and Collateral Estoppel.

        To quote Clarence Darrow, "Oopsie poopsie!"

        I wonder if the honorable Court can hand out a DUMBFUCK designation, or will it have to settle for vexatious litigant?

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    2. But I do hope that none of this gets in the way of the Diminished Capacity Kid's preening. Lord knows that's never come back to bite him before.

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      1. It really is fun to throw all that back in his face when he loses after proclaiming certain victory time after time.

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      2. It really does make me feel alive. I can't stress the importance of that to a zombie enough.

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      3. After a certain point, you'd think mocking DUMBFUCK's impotent rage, bluster and pipe-dreams would get old. But it doesn't. It's still funny as hell. It really is.

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