When DUMBFUCK Met Krendler

I have one, possibly more commenters who love to spam me with photos and gifs featuring this fellow, in reference to another person who rarely shows up here and NEVER sees the stuff.

I thought I would, in the interest of creating a metaphor that they might understand and even appreciate insofar (one word) as their limited intellects allow, offer up the following as, oh, let’s call it an artist’s conception of the moment when DUMBFUCK at long last gets his hands on my identity.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

25 thoughts on “When DUMBFUCK Met Krendler”

    1. It is possible for Bill, for that matter for all of us, to avoid that fire. But it is up to each of us alone. No one else can do it for us. And it is incredibly easy; we just have to ask sincerely.

      Well, it is incredibly easy if we do not have pride preventing us from admitting our errors and so allowing us to ask for forgiveness.

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      1. Someone, might have been Fr. Paul, once said that Pride is the greatest of all sins as it alone can keep you from repentance and thus forgiveness.

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        1. Heard a very good sermon on that once, pointing out that God can forgive anything, all the sinner must do is ask. However those with the sin of pride will not admit to anyone, often even themselves, that they have done anything tht requires forgiveness.

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    2. Careful Padre; remember "...that which you bind up (HE) will keep bound..." GBNCQRV*

      * The Gus Bailey Never Can Quote Right Version of the New Testament

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      1. Matthew 18:18
        Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
        ESV ...

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      2. And a little research goes a long way:

        Matthew Chs. 16 & 18, two phrasings, thus my confusion:

        Matthew 16:19 (speaking to Peter)
        I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

        Matthew 18:18 (speaking to the twelve)
        Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.

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    3. But that would require Billy to stop being an asshole. No way Billy would accept the terms of that contract...

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      1. You know, if you picked one handle and stuck with it for a while, you might gain some trust within the community.

        I have found nothing about your commentary thus far to be remotely out of bounds, but the constant changing of handles does not engender trust among the Horde.

        Just a suggestion.

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  1. Bill is nothing like Gollum. Tolkien hinted that Gollum was redeemable -- Frodo's kindness brought out the remnants of his good side, after all. It was arguably Sam's suspicion and hostility, and the treatment at the hands of Faramir's men, that led him to the betrayal to Shelob.

    And I've always figured Gollum was based on someone Tolkien knew who was addicted to something horrible. He was supposed to come off more pitiable than sly or evil.

    The only real commonality the two have is an addiction to fantasies of power. At least Gollum could blame that on the Ring.

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    1. He was pitiable. Dangerous, yes, untrustworthy, yes, but pitiable all the same. I suspect, as you do, that Tolkien knew someone who had become addicted to some form of drug (opium, perhaps); Gollum's behavior and mannerisms are terrifyingly akin to an addict.

      On a side note, I remember seeing Return of the King in theaters, and when the One Ring hits the lava and refuses to melt, my reaction was 'OH SHIT!'. Even at the end, the power of the Ring was desperately fending off destruction (presumably by cooling the lava). And I'd read the books COUNTLESS times, and was STILL holding my breath.

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    2. Serious question, did Gollum fall into the fire? Or did Smeagol jump?

      Frodo had Smeagol swear on the Precious. From the Two Towers:

      'I did not mean the danger that we all share,' said Frodo. 'I mean a danger to yourself alone. You swore a promise by what you call the Precious. Remember that! It will hold you to it; but it will seek a way to twist it to your own undoing. Already you are being twisted. You revealed yourself to me just now, foolishly_. Give it back to Sméagol_ you said. Do not say that again! Do not let that thought grow in you! You will never get it back. But the desire of it may betray you to a bitter end. You will never get it back. In the last need, Sméagol, I should put on the Precious; and the Precious mastered you long ago. If I, wearing it, were to command you, you would obey, even if it were to leap from a precipice or to cast yourself into the fire. And such would be my command. So have a care, Sméagol!'

      So goes Bill, and his "sterling," meaning unreported, reputation. He has lost his Precious reputation, because nasssty mean Hobbitttses (no, not Brett) have reported honestly on his doings.

      And yes, a lake of fire may be the final end point. It is Bill's choice; thus far he has chosen.... poorly.

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      1. I acknowlege that, much like WJJ Hoge III, you may well be a better man than I.

        I will continue to pray for his soul, but I will not despair for it.

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      2. 2 Peter 3:9 (NIV)

        "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

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