More Songs About Buildings And Food (Without the Buildings)

I know I’ve talked about favorite foods before.  To the exclusion of almost everything else I favor footlongs with mayonnaise because they remind me of my monoplacental twin brother Bob.  They’re even better boild in Johnnie Walker. But it’s not the only thing Muzz ever made us to eat.  Sure Bob and I both loved a good footlong weiner coated in creamy, gooey mayo, but that was always MY favorite.  Bob’s favorite was really a result of Muzz taking an Italian cooking class when the Monoplacental Maniacs were about ten years old.

That was when Bob kicked my weiner down to second on the list and replaced it with Fettucine Alfredo.

Imagine if you can a plate of fresh, hot noodles just drowning in that heavy white cream sauce.  Quite a picture, and I think you know what I mean.  It’s a good thing Bobber and I were energetic youngsters or we’d have started packing on the extra ballast a decade sooner than we did!

I can remember the first time Momma served it to us.  It was great, no doubt, because anything my mom cooked was fabulous (except liver and onions…boiled carrots…gruel…cabbage, which tasted great but Schloss Parvocampus always needed fumigation afterward…beets, but we only ever had that as punishment food…and the time she tried to make Irish soda bread – yikes!).  But it just wasn’t as amazing as my mom’s footlong.

But Bobber?  He was all over it!  It’s how he got that nickname.  He’d go down for a noodle and start slurping away like mad.  He worked it so hard the sauce got all over his face!  I wish I had pictures.

As much as I loved a weiner, Bobber loved those noodles.  Sometimes when Muzz wasn’t looking, Bobber would try to sneak over and grab my noodle.  But that was the game we played.  I tried to grab his weiner, he was always trying to suck up my last noodle.

Ah, memories!


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

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