Easing The Concerns of Those Who Love Zombie FUN!

There are a lot of people who love me and are concerned about me.  They pick up the phone and call me regularly.  They admit to members of the general public that not only do they know me, some of them are even related to me and consider me a faithful, loving and attentive husband and father.  They are concerned about recent threats made by a DUMBFUCK in Wisconsin toward a guy I know who is far more tolerant of idiots than I am.  Threats to sue him, along with a few others, back to the Stone Age, and to legally punish these people until DUMBFUCK is satisfied that this guy has had enough.  I am not concerned.  As the great philosopher Gunnery Sgt. Hartman said, “You little scumbag! I’ve got your name! I’ve got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!”

Pardon my French.

But there is a DUMBFUCK who hates me, who finds the content of this blog a constant source of BUTTHURT worth seeking out unbidden multiple times a day.  It feels compelled to read the blog, to document, catalog and cross-reference the BUTTHURT it cannot let a day pass by without hunting down.  It claims the stress of BUTTHURT hunting exacerbates his Late Stage Eleventy Thousand Parkinson’s Disease, but refuses to take the simple step of getting off the internet so that people will stop highlighting the daily examples of idiocy and weak character that have so thoroughly trashed its already nonexistent sterling reputation.  And laughing.  And pointing.  And mocking.

So, I’ve decided I‘m not going to do a goddamn thing.  You can read all the content and you don’t even have to log in.  Like always, if you’re not visiting the site, you won’t see any of the hilarious stuff I post, like this very post.

Everybody.  Chill.  DUMBFUCK aka Derppopotamus “Minor Impulse Control Issues” Rex will flame out in four days or less.  It just doesn’t know it yet.

Brain, Leg and Cheese Sandwiches?  Oh, yes please!

But hold the mayo.

UPDATE – Hit a little too close to the bone on the “I got no children who acknowledge my existence” thing, I guess.

Looka-tha-monkey-go-daddy-o!

monkey_dance

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

18 thoughts on “Easing The Concerns of Those Who Love Zombie FUN!”

  1. And that raises the eternal question; Is a DUMBFUCK ever truly satisfied?

    Afternoon, Officer.

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  2. Bwahahahaha is right! So much stooopid in the freak's post... as if anyone believes anyone cares a bit, much less "loves" such a repulsive monster. And going along with the gag for a moment, that there are people who care... iiuc, the idea is that the freak is going to make them log in to get upset now? How does that help anything?

    Clearly, the whiny recreant is doing what it always does, and hiding its stoopid and its filth to try to save itself further embarassment. And like always, the freak is self-humiliating, so this won't help anything either.

    So. Much. Stoopid. I truly hope it's painful.

    Oh, and I'll take 3 days, tops. We really are all the miserable wretch has, and even JWR won't be able to shut it up for more than 3 days.

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    1. Yes, Jane, all those people who called and stopped by to offer condolences when happy its wife died themerrywidower's wife passed.

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      1. Oh! Yes! Now that you mention it, I do remember happy its wife died themerrywidower being so busy with all of those family members and friends, all of those visitors, calls, email, and other communications that after she passed it was literally minutes before the griefiest grieving griever evah was on the internet berating its foes.

        It was sooooo very busy with all of those who love it so very much, it was actually a few hours before the St. Francis fungus was tweeting about re-branding. Do you remember if that was before, or after, the free body disposal anatomical gift people picked up SGotCU? Or when it whined about the "equipment" being picked up, do you recall if that was before or after?

        Not a big deal to me, please don't make an effort to look it up. It's pretty awful, and indicative, either way.

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  3. Bill Schmalfeldt has call me a coward because I took the civilly appropriate path of asking a court to tell him to stop contacting me when he wouldn't listen to me, yet he considers it a death threat to have an anonymous person say that they MAY punch him in his face?

    Double standards and cowardice all rolled into one.

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    1. Oh, and: Good afternoon, Officers.

      Maybe you can tell us how many false reports and complaints it takes before you charge someone with being a DUMBFUCK nuisance?

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  4. Say, isn't Bill "Stolen Valor" Schmalfeldt the one that pissed himself in fear and ran like a screaming child to hide behind his wife's skirts when he had a chance to face Grady in court man to man?
    And isn't William M (Stolen Valor) Schmalfeldt the one that just took his blog private because he is a weeping mangina and is terrified?

    Why yes, yes it is. But here you see he says he has no fear. Evening officers.

    http://i.imgur.com/d2muvIB.jpg

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    1. You have to excuse Willy, but Grady has a loving wife, child, job, and a life.

      Everything Willy doesn't have. So of course he's a bit bitchy.

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      1. And now he goes after agiledog, for the same reasons.

        Willy, it isn't their fault you are all alone and a failure at everything. You did that all by yourself. One of the only real accomplishments in your sad, pathetic life

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      2. You know what Bill has that neither Grady nor AD have?

        Sand in his mangina.

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  5. "There are a lot of people who love me and are concerned about me. They pick up the phone and call me regularly."

    Speaking of picking up the phone, HZIC... I picked up the phone and called you last evening, not because I was concerned about you (lol!), but because I was finally able to track down an answer to the question you called me about on Monday.

    It just hit me after reading this post that I hadn't heard back from you yet. I just checked the outgoing calls on my phone, and realized there is probably a good reason for that... um... you may wanna check your messages on your HOME voicemail. I thought I had called your cell phone, but I grabbed your other number instead. #derp

    But, just because I'm not concerned about ya doesn't mean I don't love ya. 😉

    When you have some free time, touch base with me. I'm curious as to your thoughts about the information I left for ya.

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