Behind the Scenes at the Kane County Courthouse

It’s good to have people everywhere.

It’s even better when a DUMBFUCK makes the same good impression on people wherever he makes his presence felt.

I’m told by a little birdie in St. Charles that our pal made a couple of phone calls to the overworked, underpaid and insufficiently appreciated folks at the courthouse prior to today’s hearing.  He was, to put it in mild terms, 52 cards short of a full deck, possessed only of the jokers (sometimes known as fools).  Phones were muted and placed in speaker mode, and much headshaking and silent, shaking laughter rolled throughout the bullpen.  Fingers twirled vigorously at many temples.

The meltdown, so I am informed, was an all-time top 10 tour-de-force for the heavily Republican county of Kane.

And then…HE CALLED BACK AND DID IT AGAIN.

When I asked my little birdie if the judge had been made aware, neither confirmation nor denial was forthcoming.

Only a knowing tilt of the head and an enigmatic smile.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

17 thoughts on “Behind the Scenes at the Kane County Courthouse”

    1. POST THE FUCKING LINK WHEN IT DOES!!!!!! I WANT TO HEAR THIS!!!!

      No apologies for the all caps, I meant every shift. (Capslock is for wimps.)

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    2. You know at least one of them recorded it, and will play it at parties. The question is, will they do the math on how much youtube will pay them for that many hits, and the second question is, would it be enough to retire? I hope so!

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      1. Neal -

        Organ grinder music in the background and Monkey Riverdance for the visual?

        It writes itself.

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  1. I think that we are witnessing what science will soon call "peak William."

    And if nothing else, it seems to indicate that Lulzsuit VI is going to be wildly entertaining.

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    1. Peak oil turned out to be...delayed a bit. I can't imagine how technology could possibly make more Schmally available, though, so I think the analogy falls down. Anyway, I've been thinking peak William was happening, and been repeatedly wrong, over and over again.

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  2. I thought the whole "meltdown recording" was top secret. Since you guys are talking about it here I guess it's all good. He's going to go ape shit when it gets released. Imagine the YouTube hits when it's broken on Twitter. He is going to be stomping around that homeless shelter he lives in and smoking his keyboard.

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