31 thoughts on “OHNOES! NOT AGAIN, AGAIN!”

    1. I'm pretty sure it was just this week that Microsoft also terminated his Outlook email account. Try as I might, I can't recall that ever happening to anyone. Just what kind of douchebag do you need to be for Microsoft to boot you from their email servers?

      1. As I recall the email he posted from Microsoft said he was booted for illegal activity or child pornography right? Such an upstanding man our Stolen Valor Bill Schmalfeldt is.

  1. Dreadful news chaps.

    Today I was arrested.

    Postal inspectors, operating on behalf of Amazon Review Police frogmarched me out of Wymbourne Manor this morning and took me into custody.

    They bundled me onto this ageing Lancaster bound for Wisconsin.


    The trial was brief and brutal. Chief Justice Schmalfeldt was most grim indeed. DA Shcmalfeldt's compelling argument was "LAW AM LAW!", so I saw no point contesting the Butthurt In the Nth Degree charges, and begged for mercy instead. I even continued begging after my doomclock expired, as I've been taught to by experts. Alas, it did me no good.

    I'm writing to you now from a cell in St. Francis.

    The view could be worse. I'm overlooking the bottle of Johnnie Walker Red on the microwave. Strange. The view never varies, but the level in the bottle is constantly on the move. It may even be a seriel of several bottles. Every now and then I think I can hear cub scouts whimpering in the cell on my left. The other side seems to be occupied by sweaty, obese twins who grunt and moan all day. It's "Oh Bobber" this, and "Oh Bobber" that.

    The food here is appalling. I think I'll pass on the fois gras. It's not meant to be green, and certainly never rolled between the fingers. It's either that or foot-longs and mayonnaise.

    The sanitation is even worse than the food - good lord I don't know when the sewerage was last collected. The stench of decaying, re-processed meat by-products is everywhere.

    I think the facility is between a zoo typing pool and a Tourettes clinic. All I can hear is the furious clatter of monkeys typing (or is it dancing?) and howls of demented rage.

    Anyway, must TTFN. I've discovered the cell walls are incredibly soft and spongy, with almost glans-like dents in them. I'm confident my tunnel behind the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE! poster is yet to be discovered. Hopefully my next missive to you will be from the cozy and familiar den at Wymbourne Manor.


    1. Ye Gods! He can't do that to you! Doesn't William know that you're a Diuke?

      Oh, the humanity!

      1. I've been in touch with Amnesty International, and they say that the free Wi-Fi makes up for the otherwise brutal conditions, and also "suck it wingnuts!"

        Disappointing, but hardly a surprise.

  2. Why does Twitter not C*D him after this! many closed accounts, and stop letting him open new ones?

      1. His utter refusal to take "Get lost." for an answer is Unauthorized Access (and Use) of Computer Systems.

        When they throw you out, Blob, that means something: Go away.

  3. This makes what? Around 100 accounts he's had suspended for harassment, threats, or publishing peoples personal information? I'm not talking about ones he renamed or just abandoned, but ones that Twitter actually suspended.

    By the way, Morning Officer!

    1. Do we have a solid list of his suspended/shuttered accounts and sites? Even better would be if we had the reason, especially harassment. Strikes me as prime ammo in a [redacted] to [redacted] the [redacted].

      1. He got banned from Twitter for death threats at one point. But Twitter just keeps letting him create new accounts for them to ban.

        Afternoon Officer. See that? Death threats got him a ban from Twitter. But I'm sure he's told you ALL about that right?

  4. # 1 reason Bill moved from Maryland to Wisconsin.


    There is no statute or cases in Wisconsin addressing SLAPP suits.

      1. Hey, quit picking on my bother!


  5. How bill see himself:

    1. How he is:

  6. The following two paragraphs are the first two paragraphs of a letter I sent to Cardinal Capital Management earlier this week. As Bill has declined to include me in his newest lawsuit, this may not apply. But every named defendant in the suit should send them a similar request.

    This letter is a formal Litigation Hold Notice to your company in regards to any and all communications you and your employees have had with or about William M Schmalfeldt Sr., a resident in your facilities. Mr. Schmalfeldt has clearly stated that he intends to commence litigation against myself and others citing harassment, and stated that some of those claims will be based on our supposed communications with you about him. This makes such communications of yours relevant and potential evidence in such litigation. Therefore, you are hereby ordered to cease and desist any and all routine destruction of any material which may be covered by this notice. This includes both physically and electronically stored material. If this is the first Notice of this type you have received, you should communicate with your legal counsel regarding your responsibilities in this matter.

    If such litigation is initiated, I will (once again*) act as my own legal counsel (pro se), and am therefore legally entitled to issue this notice. I wish to request that you provide me with the contact information, including the name, address, and telephone number of the agent you use for service in legal proceedings. If this is different from your legal counsel, I would request that you also provide me the contact information for your counsel. You may send me this information at the address above.

    I sent this Wed. They should get it today. I wonder if they'll discuss it with Bill?

    1. They need to be informed Bill's made THEM party to the suit, not just possible witnesses.

    2. It would behoove Bill to realize that these are the results of HIS activities; nothing more, nothing less.


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