Guest Post From Neal N. Bob

Dear Mommy WordPress,
The harassment and defamation continue unabated on three sites hosted by your service, Billy Sez, Thinking Man’s Zombie and HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGEwash. Hoge is the originator of most of the libel, going so far as to suggest I committed perjury just because I lie under oath whenever the truth makes me look bad.
In case you’ve forgotten me from my constant fucking whining previous complaints, allow me to re-introduce myself. I am a 61 year old (It’s going to be my birthday soon!) merry recent widower who keeps his wife in a clock. It’s right next to my bar the memorial coffee maker. I am completely disabled (110%,) although that isn’t going to stop me from travelling four hours to another state to be adjudicated as a deranged cyberstalker again on personal business at the end of the month. Trains make me happy. But don’t underestimate how handicapped I am. I’m basically a head in a jar from my stage XXXVII Parkinson’s Disease.
Do you like war heroes? I am a Vietnam-era veteran. Remember when America conquered the beaches of Beirut? That was mostly me! Once they saw how I manfully pulled bodies from the rubble bandaged a woman’s knee, the crazy Arabs all ran away, which is why Lebanon was an oasis of calm through the seventies and eighties. I also worked for the federal government! I know Aldrich Ames did, too, but I’m different. I published an entire book about my communist sympathies! But Ames made some money!
Anyhoo, I have been defamed by right wing nut jobs (RWNJs) for years now. They even make fun of my dead wife, suggesting that she’s a zombie, which she isn’t. I cremated her to prevent that! No brains for MY soul mate. Wait, that doesn’t sound good.
Whenever I faildoxx cajole threaten their families and jobs ask them to stop, the harassment and libel only gets worse. Even committing copyright fraud exposing them in my books doesn’t stop the defamation! Maybe the RWNJs really are zombies! Did you know they scare nuns? You know who else scares nuns? Zombies.
Even though I present myself as a fighter or truth, justice and the American way, I don’t want you to forget that I’m a defenseless victim, sort of like the kids Sally Struthers did those commercials about a realy long time ago. I was in the Navy then, but I was rarely aboard ship, so I saw a lot of TV.
Some people would suggest that there’s no difference between the RWNJs and I. Others would say that I’m even worse. But that isn’t true. You see, the RWNJs make dead baby jokes and I make dead baby journalism!
You’re my only hope, WordPress. I’d sue them again, but my printer’s broken and I’m 0-for-5, anyhow.
Be well,
William M. SSchmalfeldt (Oopsie poopsie. I should write these things when I’m sober!)

St, Francis, Wisconsin

P.S. Here’s a picture so you will recognize me and roll out the red carpet when I come to San Francisco to personally charm you into giving me what I want:IMG_6372-1



Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

29 thoughts on “Guest Post From Neal N. Bob”

  1. I'm really awesome, aren't I?

    And poor William is out there looking for a Kaczynski-like #war with the tech industry. First Microsoft, then Automatic. Who can be next? Netscape?


    Something tells me that William doesn't understand how this looks. No fewer than three tweets after howling that posting a screenshot of a blog constitutes a copyright violation, he posts a screenshot of blog to complain about.

    This is why his shtick never gets old! Every day, in every way, he pioneers newer and newer ways to convince third parties that he's a psychotic coot.

    1. Also, that should read "They believe your TOS are toilet paper."

      I enjoy assisting a GS-13 editor/writer. It makes me vicariously feel like an Army Major!

        1. I don't think Juniper would have internal hoses and slop basins. Besides, the coordination of drunks is famously bad.

    2. I'm not sure Bill knows how ANYTHING works. He complains about a blog with his name on it while he has his own blog devoted to Lynn in which he uses her name, pictures, etc. What a fucking moron he is.

      1. The good and great works of the Knot boys was a lot like the blues. The pioneering bluesmen begat The Rolling Stones and the Yardbirds, who introduced to a new generation. Then came Led Zeppelin, who ... okay, that's a bad example. Led Zeppelin killed the blues.

  3. Funny that the guy saying this is caught wearing medals he didn't earn. Wonder what the boys for both sides out on the field today think about Stolen Valor?


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