Good Morning, Officer!

This is the crazy glutton for humiliation who sent you to look at this blog because he thinks somebody is going to bomb his apartment:

arsenal tweet

Please note that this tweet is about a year old.  I have older samples of his rank idiocy and insanity.  I can provide an example a day covering almost 10 years of his online stupidity and not repeat myself for a year.  AND HE WILL KEEP MAKING MORE.

Nobody wants to hurt him.  He makes us laugh.  A lot.  A REALLY REALLY LOT. He doesn’t like being laughed at, and so he claims he’s being harassed because people point out how he shows his ass in public.

If people laughed at you because you were embarrassing in public all the time, would you expect the laughers to be arrested, or would you try not to do humiliating things the next time you showed your face?


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

56 thoughts on “Good Morning, Officer!”

  1. That's more than entertaining - that tweet is an admission against Bill Schmalfeldt's own interests. Afaik, that tweet wasn't used at any of the hearings where Bill Schmalfeldt was adjudicated a stalker and harasser by multiple judges in multiple states, and slapped with at least 7 restraining orders or their equivalent. There is plenty more to show the admittedly dementia-addled Bill Schmalfeldt is a stalker, harasser, and all around cry-bully.

    1. For the record, in Bill Schmalfeldt’s own words, saved for posterity here, he states:

      1. "But I can no longer expect, or ask, anyone to take what I write as fact."
      2. Bill Schmalfeldt himself can no longer trust his own judgment
      3. "...I have clearly been affected by the common late stage Parkinson’s “executive dysfunction” disorder..."
      4. "Now, I can barely see the pitcher. Metaphorically."

      And in famous - unfulfilled - last words:

      5. "I’m not going to do any more investigating..."

      Except, he never stopped. He continues to "investigate" (cyberstalk/harass) innocents and is doing so at this very moment on his current blog.

  2. Morning, officers.

    Thought you might be interested in how seriously William takes the law. He created and posted this the night before his criminal trial in Maryland just last year. He tried pleading not guilty by reason of diminished mental capacity. And yes, we thought it was hysterical, too!

    William's commentary at the bottom is hard to read, so I'll print it here.

    "A little pre-trial snack. Cuz I'm so concerned and shit."

    May I suggest, officers, that you call the sheriff's departments in Howard and Carroll Counties in, Maryland and ask about Bill Schmalfeldt? They'll have hours of enlightening stories to tell you! St. Francis isn't the first place where law enforcement has regarded him as the village kook.

    You might also consider passing along your findings to Cindy and the good folks at Cardinal Capital Management. I think that their background check missed a few things.

    1. Let's allow William to explain his bizarre attempt at in-court plea-bargaining, shall we?

      1. Yeah, Bill, we're talking about your poor impulse control, lack of control over your rage, and your inability to foresee the outcomes of your actions.

        Since you agree with us about the nature of your problem, why do you get so angry?

  3. Morning, officers.

    Let's explore how William is a peaceful, completely disabled widower who wouldn't think of threatening a fly.

    Maybe not so much. He might just be a psychopath!

    1. dont forget that Gail's Former Abuser was adamant that that there toon (created by him btw)was NOT a death threat towards Mr. Hoge

      however a random picture of the clay Mr. Bill from SNL that was tweeted was OBVIOUSLY a death threat towards him.


      1. Let's also not forget that it was "Mr. Bill" skit, which Saturday Night Live stopped producing in, I believe, 1978.

  4. Morning officers,

    It couldn't be more obvious that William just wants to be left alone and would never resort to violence. His "BIG family" on the other hand .....

    Hope the weather is better i Wisconsin than it is in my country today.

  5. Afternoon, officers. Hope lunch was good!

    I always strive to be fair, so much so that I'm terrified that I might have given you a ... misleading impression of our friend William thus far.

    As you'll see, he's not without his merciful side.

    1. Speaking of JOURNAISM, i'm sure that William has told you all about his "thirty years experience in investigative journalism." Far be it from me to disparage that. I can only imagine the scoops and matters of pubic interest Broadway Bill brought to households across America.

      His former employers, however, might be of a different view.

      So those "names and phone numbers" he so helpfully provided you? Verify them all independently. William's due diligence might leave a little to be desired. .

      1. William is internationally famous for his fascination with the entire region surrounding the public bone. And I didn't say exactly what he was bringing "scoops" of to America.

        I just can't bring myself to subject St' Francis' finest to that part of drunken friend.

  6. “… in September, Mr. Schmalfeldt published my name, address, phone number, and photographs on one of his websites and on social media sites. Those acts contributed to my seeking a restraining order against him, which was granted on Sept. 30, 2015. In November, he published online the name, address, phone number, and photograph of a woman in Illinois. She has obtained a temporary restraining order against him, and there will be a hearing on Dec. 22, 2015 to determine if it will be made into a permanent injunction. Yesterday, Dec. 15, 2015, he published the name, address, phone number, and photograph of a woman from North Carolina. It seems he is destined to get a third restraining order issued against him in the near future. I have to ask: Is it common for new residents of a certain facility to get three restraining orders issued against them in their first six months of residency?”

  7. Threatening? Bill Scmalfeldt? Goodness, no! Perish the thought!

    Oh. Right,

    1. Beheadings! They're not just for ISIS, anymore!

      Keeping warm, officers?

    2. You need a screen cap of the tweets where he kindly gave out Lee's home address complete with a photo right after some of his friends had suggested that Lee or his wife should be raped, pointing out that Lee wasn't home at that time.

      But no, giving out the address of a woman alone with her small children and making sure that everyone knew that she was alone could never, ever be considered a threat.


  8. William M. Schmalfeldt, as respectful of the privacy of others as he'd like others to be of his.

  9. Officers, I'm sure that William has told you all about his grieving process. Like almost everything else about him, it's pretty unique.

    It's true, we all process grief differently. Some of us need to take a break from it all and ponder what life is and the justice of the universe. Others go on Twitter rampages at their ex-wives.

    William took the death of his mother particularly badly, as evidenced by the fact that he didn't buy a new coffee maker or rebrand his online presence that day.

    1. Wait. Was one of BS's exes involved with someone who is related to LS in some way or does BS use Stranny to mean more than one thing?

    2. Jane:

      Ah. I take it then that he had seen prior tweets between them and made up the rest; got it--that figures.

  10. Officers, let's watch William be respectful of a man's relationship with his family and his church at the same time!

    I always need to have a hanky nearby whenever I see that one. It's just so moving!

  11. Hi, officers, me again!

    Far be it from me to suggest that William would improperly use the courts or law enforcement simply to further his online grudges, but I'm not sure what statutory language "See? You started to fuck. So? Let's fuck" derives from.

    On the other hand, I'm not American, and many of your ways confuse and frighten me.

    1. Oh, and look at that header, will you? William's a self-described "outlaw."

      How helpful.

      1. I'm not. His biggest fear is to be left alone with his own thoughts. That's why he seeks out the attention of TK, who openly laugh at him in court. He harassed John because John would keep engaging with him that way. He looks for Lickspittles who will interact with him.

        Given the solitude involved in driving a truck, I'm amazed he could do it for more than a few weeks. Oh, wait, I bet he was one of the guys who hung out on Ch. 19 all day, annoying the shit out of everyone else on the road.

  12. Hello members of the Wisconsin law enforcement community!

    It seems that the only "harassment" or "defamation" that he has been subject to that Willy can point to is the fact that he is called, quite often, a "deranged cyberstalker", and that hurts him terribly. It hurts him so much he even uses the term himself:

    Have a pleasant evening.

  13. Hello Officers! William is very busy today telling tales of his being stalked without ever being contacted in any way, shape or form by someone who has made a habit of quoting him verbatim on the internet. So, while we're on the subject of stalking, what do you, in your professional opinion, make of this?

    ATTN HORDE: THAT IS A LIVE LINK. Proceed accordingly.

    1. That looks like some real, live stalking, right there. Pictures of the victim, picture of the home, full address published. Why, it even points out that she uses dating sites, suggesting that there's no man in the house, just children.

      It's a good thing that William isn't known to associate with anyone convicted of a violent felony.

      Oh. Wait. He does.

      I wonder if Wisconsin has any laws against that sort of thing? I wish someone from law enforcement was reading this blog.

      Oh. Wait.

      1. He does like posting the addresses of women who don't have men around (or at least whom he thinks don't have men around), doesn't he? Didn't he do it once before after someone suggested that the woman in question should be raped?

      2. Why yes, that was indeed who he did his damndest to get assaulted or worse!

        And when he tries to claim that he wasn't suggesting that she be raped, there is no other reason to post someone's address and directions to the house right after someone else suggested that the local rapists pay her a visit.

  14. Could that have been a photo lineup? Why, it seems to me that William was arranging something just like that at Juniper Court, but we never heard about the results.

    That seems to happen when William doesn't get the answers he's looking for. Most likely, it was the process server delivering his most recent restraining order.

    Oopsie poopsie. .

    1. He tried, but figured that no one would deliver his lulzsuits from a Maryland psychiatric institution like Gail would during those 30 days.

      He might also have been afraid that electroshock therapy would alter that winning personality of his.

      1. With all the alcohol in him, electroshock therapy might cause him to spontaneously combust.

  15. Remember when Stolen Valor Bill Schmalfeldt used the mentally unstable Roger Shuler (who did time in jail and has now disappeared since his brother were seeking to have him committed because he is loony toons) as an impeachable source? Yeah, that's our Stolen Valor Bill the great journalist who surly vets his sources.....or doesn't and just uses whatever smear makes the people he hates looks worse. Who needs proof anyway? Did Woodward and Bernstein have proof?

  16. Evening Officer. Did you hear about the time Bill fell down in his trailer? Yeah, just him, the wife, and his son TJ (who Bill LOVED to smoke pot with) at home. Guess who he blames? Right, Hoge. Why? Because Officer, in case you haven't noticed by now, Bill HATE Hoge and will even lie about something as simple as this to try and get him into trouble. Did I mention that Stolen Valor Bill Schmalfeldt is an inveterate liar?


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