REBRANDING!

Since the inception of this site, our goal has been both clear and simple. We mock and deride one particular DUMBFUCK without mercy or relief.  Our hope had been clearly expressed – we sought to drive this particular cum-dripping asshole from the web.  We made the terms clear.  All the walking penis with the dead whore in an urn needed to do to make us stop was to do for itself what it so fervently wished for us to do.  Leaving it alone was the easiest get in the world.

But we now know that this will never happen. We are not equal to our goal. In this task, we have come up short.

Like dozens of DUMBFUCK blogs, like hundreds of DUMBFUCK Twitter handles, like a thousand DUMBFUCK internet radio stations, like a LIFETIME of Schmalfeldtian DUMBFUCKERY, we have ACCOMPLISHED…nothing.

Unless we count…

  • Exposing the moral and ethical failings of a trailer dwelling douchebag;
  • Exposing the truth of the “sterling reputation” of an adjudicated deranged cyberstalker and harasser;
  • Chronicling the legal acumen and epic…what else could we call them but “run away victories” in every civil or criminal case this Dreadful Pro Se has ever initiated;
  • Bringing to the world the knowledge that there exists a beast among us of such lack of self-control and self realization;
  • Sharing with the Internet the over sharing of an over sharing over sharer, including, but not limited to the fact that this animal takes photographs and video of its own feces and posts it on the Internet, with detailed narratives of how it enjoys picking the product out of the toilet, rolling it into balls and sniffing it for pleasure;
  • The Stolen Valor that it has still not requested a clarifying DD214 to refute because HE CAN’T;
  • Determining that this same mutant may have some sort of personal limit, in that we have not yet encountered photographs or video of its oral interactions with the stuff, nor published written descriptions of the taste.  But just because we have not found it, does not mean it’s not out there waiting to be found…
  • And of course, thousands upon thousands of hours of LULZ!

Despite all of this, however, it has become clear that DUMBFUCK will never cease his abusive, stalking harassment until he is somehow physically restricted from interacting with technology.

We do not possess the faculty on this site to make that happen.

Therefore we have decided that a change in focus is necessary.

We will no longer use our talents of parody, satire, mockery, pointage and laughery as tools to persuade DUMBFUCK to leave the Internet in peace. From now on, we will employ these tools for nothing but personal satisfaction and entertainment. If we think it’s funny, it gets published.  It does not matter what anyone else thinks…most of all, DUMBFUCK.

We will no longer leave the Internet when DUMBFUCK does. We will mock and abuse him for LULZ and LULZ alone.  Whether he stays online or not, we will mock and abuse him and his family.

We will not stop. Ever.

Not for $2000.

Not even for $10,000.

We call his late wife a whore because she no longer cares and can do nothing about it.  We have such plans for when the same fate as befalls all men catches up with a DUMBFUCK.

Murum aries attigit.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

39 thoughts on “REBRANDING!”

    1. http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm297/m00n68/smiley20.gif

      Ok, everyone, we can go home. The Duke won the interwebz today.

      That pic perfectly illustrates the ghoulish delight displayed by Bill Schmalfeldt as its wife was dying. Bill Schmalfeldt gleefully described each mortifying detail of her suffering, including urine "up to her arm pits", soiling herself, and more. Bill Schmalfeldt spent much more time describing the humiliating details of her suffering than time caring for her, or even just being with her.

      As Bill Schmalfeldt's self-described "soulmate" lay dying, Bill Schmalfeldt's internet activities were unaffected, or increased. The day before she died, Bill Schmalfeldt ruminated on the need for smaller coffee pot, since she'd no longer be drinking coffee - meaning she could no longer refuse to buy the Keurig Bill Schmalfeldt wanted. Bill Schmalfeldt also got a new smartphone as soon as the malignant monster was sure she wouldn't notice the expenditure, or any expenditures ever again.

      Can you imagine the idea of a new cell phone even crossing your mind as someone you love lay dying?

      Can you imagine within a couple of hours of your loved one's death publishing plans to rebrand your internet presence?

      The hypocrisy and total exploitation of her death is encapsulated in that image, and Bill Schmalfeldt's current self-description as "the merry widower." Merry indeed: Bill Schmalfeldt never seemed happier than when describing her death, and looking forward to the attention and solicitude given to those who lose a loved one.

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      1. Bill Schmalfeldt was sorely disappointed when many refused to offer condolences over an experience many of us are certain the monstrous ghoul thoroughly enjoyed. As recently as last week Bill Schmalfeldt whined about the lack of sympathy displayed by the esteemed WJJH. No matter that WJJH has repeatedly demanded Bill Schmalfeldt cease trying to communicate with him; no matter that WJJH repeatedly sought peace orders to legally obligate Bill Schmalfeldt to leave WJJH alonge; oh, no... Bill Schmalfeldt is the very griefiest grieving griever evah and you all MUST praise Bill Schmalfeldt’s grief.

        Here Bill Schmalfeldt whines, "...Hoge… I note that despite several opportunities to do so, in person or otherwise, you have not once offered a word of condolence for the loss of my wife. ..." Those 'in person opportunities' were in a courtroom wherein WJJH attempted to legally compel Bill Schmalfeldt to leave him alone.

        Dementia, narcissism, and Johnnie Walker combined can't explain this level of the absurd.

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      1. I know, right? Tells the truth of the matter so clearly, and so much better than the several thousand words many used to try to convey the same thing.

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  1. In the list of "counts" please don't forget the stolen valor.

    Scumbag deserves every bit of mockery that can be delivered on that score alone.

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  2. TMZ just keeps getting better...

    http://i409.photobucket.com/albums/pp179/MKE_Insider/whis_PopcornBitte02_21593.gif

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  3. What a LIAR! Krendler only exists because of Bill Schmalfeldt's vile actions. Had Bill Schmalfeldt not spent years attacking, threatening, bullying, lying, defaming, etc., there would be no Krendler. So, I suppose the malignant monster accidentally did have one worthwhile accomplishment after all. bwahahahaha

    https://twitter.com/TheMerryWidower/status/666138537495027712

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    1. Why must you insist on hitting Bill back?

      That's unfair!

      He's handicrapped, dontcha know ?

      With prejudice!

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      1. Stage MCXLIAR Parkinson's! Stage eleventy widower! Vets died so it could seek out butthurt! False narrative if the dementia addled liar claims it doesn't remember!

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    2. There's nothing nice about you, Blob and there won't be until such time as you become useful as fertilizer, and I suspect you'll fuck that up too.

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  4. "To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."

    Well, he's more baby hippo than great whale, but yeah.

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  5. You buried the lede: Bill! He says he will never stop. Up until this morning, the horde could have moved on if you stopped. Just stopped. Zombie#1 says it will never end. Legacy? Google Schmalfeldt. Ten years from now, Google Schmalfeldt.

    Is that mean? Dunno, ask Mrs. Hoge, Mrs. Stranahan and Dianna D.

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  6. "I loved Gail with all my heart and soul."

    I believe this to be true. Sadly, his heart and soul are so diminished, there are not instruments in God's creation sensitive enough to measure that "all".

    Not relevant, however, to the situation at hand.

    "Tuesday is 5 months since she died. It is also our 26th wedding anniversary."

    Interesting factoids. Again, not relevant to the situation, as Gail is dead forever, so there will be many more dates that are some multiple of n minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/years/decades/centuries/millennia since her death, all of them meaningless to us.

    Your marriage, too, was meaningless, as you failed to honor her in life. Can't fix that by raging against strangers on the Internet. Too late. Too damn late.

    Suggest you FOCUS on the actual problem(s), instead of begging for sympathy from people dedicated to mocking you.

    "Are any of you human?"

    FOCUS, DUMBFUCK!!!

    We're zombies, the undead, former humans.

    You can end the zombies mocking you, Cousin Bill, insofar as you will know, by simply rolly-walking away from the Internet. Suggest you get rid of the computer, since you seemingly have NO self control.

    Your leaving the Internet doesn't work for my revenge, however, as I'm not through until justice is rendered in a decades-old rape case.

    So there is that.

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  7. Another day, another impotent threat to file a vexatious lawsuit:

    https://twitter.com/TheMerryWidower/status/666283191829966848

    Freak - English translation: It simply must be the fault of someone else that the demented cyberstalking freak has been such a miserable failure its entire life!

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  8. bwahahaha

    https://twitter.com/TheMerryWidower/status/666285760971149312

    Bet it's not really a mic drop - bet it doesn't stfu!

    hahahaha

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    1. Silly nut-shuffler, no one needs to prove him wrong. He needs to prove he's right.

      Without harassing anyone or committing any torts.

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      1. But the freakshow can't do that, Rob, and it gets all butthurt when confronted with the truth.

        Someone must PAY for the miserable failure it has made of its life!

        Someone must PAY for it being too busy on the internet to get medical treatment for its wife in time to do her any good!

        Someone must PAY for it claiming the sudden dramatic weight loss was through "hard work" "the old-fashioned way" instead of a concerning symptom as urged by the horde!

        Someone must PAY for it being too busy playing on its new phone to be with its wife during her last moments!

        Someone must PAY for decent people noticing how horrifically it treated her during her last days!

        Someone must PAY for decent people noticing the ghoulish delight it took in her suffering and death!

        Someone must PAY for decent people noticing it took away her last bit of dignity by using mortifying detail - including incontinence and soiling herself - to describe her suffering to strangers on the internet!

        Someone must PAY for decent people noticing its tweet about rebranding within hours of her death!

        And that someone (today) is LT because she hasn't paid any attention to it during the last year, at least, and didn't offer condolences!

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  9. I, for one, am glad to see that "Krendler" and TMZ will not be going away any time soon. It was always a minor (okay a VERY minor) fear that Bill might actually wise up and leave the internet, and then we'd have to find somewhere else to point and laugh at internet idiots.

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      1. Sadly, I'm sure if BS had ever acquired any sanity and left everyone alone, we would have had no trouble finding plenty of other eejits out there nearly as deserving of Zombie Scorn.

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  10. Well, at least we haven't heard this before... wait.. wut?? hahaha

    https://twitter.com/TheMerryWidower/status/666302085357543424

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  11. Oh! Look! The voices in its ugly, penis-shaped head are arguing!

    https://twitter.com/TheMerryWidower/status/666302085357543424

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    1. oops - wrong tweet - here is where one tries to tell the others that repeating a lie doesn't make it true, and another replies that Roy isn't Roy; and dunno - could be a 3rd one claims it wins... hahaha

      https://twitter.com/TheMerryWidower/status/666301766611390464

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      1. Of course repeating a lie doesn't make it true. Any idiot knows that. But what if being repeated isn't a lie. And Roy says that he is Roy. Soooo...
        Billyboyo Schmalls needs to put down the booze. Lol

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    2. He's nothing if not consistent. Now threatening legal action against Thomas in order to "flush out" Krendler.

      Obviously, Thomas is aggregating/ed The Littlest Terrorist, and so this allows him to attack her (keeping TLT happy) and gain the information he desires to sue.

      ... It might help you to understand if you were drinking when someone else tells you it's gonna work this time for sure, trust him.

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  12. Seriously - can't believe Howard is missing this. Can someone give him a heads up? I know Grace has contact info - remember vaca - but she's not around either... hmmm... did they run off together?!? hahahaha

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  13. It's going to be a new great LOLsuit. Witless Willie is going to sue, probably in the wrong forum again, saying that person A is person B despite person C having been identified as person B by Willie in the recent past.

    Of course, person B has not committed any tort so there is that too.

    It is of course the same gimmick as was tried with Grady. If I cause enough trouble for X, then Y will be kind enough to identify himself (I would bet a fair amount that Krendler is male, but Willie is too psychologically obtuse to notice the relevant clues).

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  14. haha PerryMason hasn't checked in lately, but yeah, inspired by the PB thread, tried to be cute with the "where's Perry?" thing. +5 for the save!

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