Inspired by this:
You're goddamn right I ate all the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups while you were at school! pic.twitter.com/CLnqyYJ123
— Stephen Green (@VodkaPundit) November 3, 2015
Lieutenant Kaffee: Colonel Jessep! Did you eat all the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?!!”
Judge Randolph: You don’t have to answer that question!
Jessep: I’ll answer the question. You want answers?
Lieutenant Kaffee: I think I’m entitled to them.
Jessep: You want answers?!
Lieutenant Kaffee: I want the truth!
Jessep: You can’t handle the truth!
Son, we live in a world that has teeth, and those teeth have to be guarded by dentists with drills. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for children with fillings, and you curse the dental profession. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know — that children with fillings, while tragic, probably saved teeth; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves teeth.
You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at Halloween parties, you want me on that drill — you need me on that drill.
We use words like “brush,” “floss,” “rinse.” We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and eats his Sugar Frosted Chocolate Bombs with the very clean and healthy teeth that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide them.
I would rather that you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a drill and stand the post. Either way, I don’t give a DAMN what you think you’re entitled to!
Lieutenant Kaffee: Did you eat all the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?
Jessep: I did the job I was —
Lieutenant Kaffee: — Did you eat all the Peanut Butter Cups?!
Jessep: You’re god damn right I did!!!