Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!


I wonder if DUMBFUCK -who never hated on nobody cuz he’s just a cuddly little love bug, yes he is – would simply consider it a coincidence that these two love-spreading Tweets preceded the one above by just a few minutes? 

  #NoH8 there, nosireebob!

We may have lost our souls, but when our loved ones get sick, we don’t congratulate them on losing half their body weight “the hard way.”

We take them to the hospital to figure out what’s wrong.

And when they’re in the hospital, looking like a zombie because they’re past saving, we don’t take gruesome, ghoulish photos of them and email them to our enemies, and then cry victim when those photos go viral.

We just sit with them and worry about far more important things.

We may have lost our souls, but when our parents lay dying, you can bet your ass that we were FULLY PRESENT IN THE MOMENT, out of respect and love, and not firing off insults at an ex-wife on Twitter for not offering condolences to the asshole she wisely gave up on almost 30 years before.

We may have lost our souls, but we probably won’t miss the death of WIFE#3 (but hey, respect to the DUMBFUCK for finally finding a wife weak enough to stay with a non-hateful pig like IT) because we were checking our email and raging over anonymous comments from one of the thousands of uncivil anonymous netizens we NEVERDIDNOTHING to piss off so why do we get beat down like a rented mule every single day, amirite?

We may have lost our souls, but we’ll always have Podcast, Ilsa.

On second thought, our souls are just fine. At least as healthy as a DUMBFUCK’S talent for projection.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

18 thoughts on “Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. Whatever is supposed to be embedded between the two tweets isn't loading. Tried several different devices. Nada.

  2. I have zero worries about the souls of Team Free Speech. It's not like any of us would publicize every mortifying detail of a loved one's suffering - including lack of bladder and bowel control.

    We'd never use the suffering of a loved one to bring attention to ourselves. We'd be too busy caring for them, worrying about them, and making things happen for them to even consider such a thing, much less care about such things. We wouldn't be thinking about getting a Keurig, a new smart phone, or any other luxury for ourselves; nor would "rebranding" or getting rid of our loved one's things be on our minds.

    To sum up - the horde wouldn't pretend to be the griefiest grieving griever evah to draw attention to ourselves, nor would we at the same time conversely call ourselves "merrywidower."


        You're very kind, Dianna.

  3. Perhaps, but none of us have a property management company to pat us on the head, tell us that everything will be all right, and send us to our room, so it's pretty obvious who wins.

    I guess that also means that we don't infantalize ourselves before anyone that will momentarily indulge it, but I'm a "glass-half-full" type of fellow!

    1. But, but, but... she inspired the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt to decency, dammit!

      Just ask him.

      1. Anyone who doesn't recognize the quiet dignity that Gail (Peace Be Upon Her) instilled in her soulmate is probably full of spoiled weenie juice.

      2. Just because SHE inspired him to decency, it does not automatically follow that HE ever achieved it.

        Tiger Woods inspired thousands of kids to try golf...he didn't make any of them good golfers by it.

        1. But, if they say their prayers, eat their Wheaties and practice really hard, they might someday get caught sexting a Hooters girl from Tampa.

          Baby steps.

  4. Zombie Gail is confused. Are wives really and truly off limits... or, not?



Comments are closed.