Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

In baseball, a good hitter can fall into a slump.  A slump takes place when a hitter who is used to a certain level of success has an extended period of sub-par performance.  Think of a major league power hitter who consistently hits 40 homers a year going a month without one. That’s a slump. You’ll often hear teammates tell him, “You’re due!” because on average, statistical success does ebb and flow.

On the other hand, a 35-year-old player in class A ball who could never hit a curveball and struggles consistently to top the Mendoza line is not slumping.  He just sucks. He’s flatlined, and no one expects him to go on a tear and jack up his batting average by 60 points in a week.

He’s not due.  He’s done.

So it is with a DUMBFUCK.

Over at Hogewash! DUMBFUCK has once again been thoroughly exposed as not just a liar, and not just a forger, but a criminally inept liar and forger at that.

DUMBFUCK forgets that it is always being passively monitored, like a psych patient in a lockdown ward, and that EVERYTHING it does online is captured and backed up.

On November 16, 2015, DUMBFUCK published at The Merry Widower blog a version of a post entitled “EPISODE 004: Lynn Thomas IS Paul Krendler” I won’t link it here for two reasons: 1) I’m linking to the Wayback Machine, and 2) DUMBFUCK will delete the post later today anyway, so why bother?

In that post, which was archived at 01:09:37 GMT on November 17 (that’s 8:09 PM ET on the 16th for us Merkans), DUMBFUCK included the ORIGINAL version of the false email headers it had created:

That’s a full screen cap, unretouched and unedited. Click to enlarge, or if you’d like to check it out in its natural habitat, you can find it at

After DUMBFUCK was called out on its lies and forgery, it responded by saying evil lying liar  John Hoge had manufactured the timestamp problem that is visible in the file above.

Projecting its FAIL onto others…where have we seen that before?

And of course, now that it was aware of…someof its multiple errors, it ran right out to the web to double down, delete tweets, and make corrections to the errors it had been told of.  But DUMBFUCK IS DUMB, and DUMBFUCK hasn’t made any other errors that need to be corrected…as far as it knows.

But its corrected set of falsified email headers went up at The Merry Widower.  Again,  I could link to it, but why bother?  I have the updated post in the Wayback Machine, and DUMBFUCK will dump the whole scam down the memory hole later today anyway.

This updated version of the post was archived at 07:14:02 GMT today, which is 02:14 AM ET. If you have an older dog, you don’t need to ask why I was up at that hour, do you?

The version of the false email headers that was included in the post at that time looks like this:

And since this, according to DUMBFUCK, is the very same original email header, you can check out the archived version for yourself at

Case closed!




why is that second one so much more…fuzzy?  And narrow?

Maybe if I put them side by side in separate tabs on my iPad…


So this shows the tab on the right, the .png file named HWS.  If you click the image, you’ll get a nice, big, clear image.  And up there on the tab it even tells you the image is 1,449 x 655 pixels.  So what about the other image on the left tab, the one without the error that DUMBFUCK alleges Hoge created?


It’s the same size image on the iPad screen, but so fuzzy!  You can barely make out some of the text, without clicking it to look at the whole image in a separate window. and even if you do, it’s still barely legible.

And it’s interesting to note that this tab says the file name is HWS.png rather than simply HWS.png. And it’s smaller, too.  749 X 324 pixels. That’s just about 25% of the larger HWS.png file.

As an aside, have you ever tried to enlarge an image file with Microsoft Paint?  Here’s what happens.  Let’s use a jpg of a bottle of Sprecher Cream Soda as a completely random example.

Here’s an image of a bottle sized at 369 x 369 pixels:

stella1It looks crisp, clean and beautiful.  The labels are sharp and readable, and the lines are all smooth to the eye.

Here’s that very same bottle blown up 400%:

stella2Now the shine is a little duller, the lines are not as crisp, the lettering has lost a lot of clarity, and if you look closely around the curve below the bottleneck, you can see where the resolution of the bottle’s edge had degraded.

My point is…when you take an original image and you blow it up, you LOSE resolution.  You don’t GAIN it.

But I digress.  I was talking about email headers, wasn’t I?

So. Apparently the original, barely legible email headers were posted at The Merry Widower blog and archived a little after 2:00 this morning. And Hoge’s allegedly altered, FOUR TIMES LARGER AND FOUR TIMES CLEARER version was posted at The Merry Widower blog and archived almost 30 hours EARLIER. Why, if DUMBFUCK is telling the truth about having the correct timestamps in the original screen cap HWS.png (the smaller, fuzzier one), does file HWS.png even exist? And more to the point, how does the Wayback Machine link to that image at an address belonging to  On an EARLIER version of the post?

If I may venture to predict a possible response from DUMBFUCK regarding these important questions…I suspect it will be an awful lot like this:

“Who cares?  You haven’t proven anything! Heengh! Heengh!  Lickspittles!  Footlongs! Cub Scout Poop! YIBBLE BIBBLE BIBBLE!!  HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!”  And then, the memory hole.

And that’s fine.  Because the internet is forever.

And there’s more!

Right now,  DUMBFUCK is telling us…100% for a certainty, that the email headers in the HWS.png file are the true and correct email headers, just like his DD214 was true and correct.

While there are obvious differences that have already been pointed out in these two images, there is also one very important similarity to consider.

Let’s look at one particular line in both header files.  First, DUMBFUCK’S fuzzy original, and right below it, Hoge’s alleged forgery:

HWS- Screencap

HWS Screen Cap

The very obvious transposition difference in the timestamp on the ‘Received:’ line has been discussed elsewhere.  No need to keep beating that baby seal here.

No, I’m looking at the second line, the ‘X-Received:’ line.  They are identical, character for character.  For the sake of argument, let’s agree that someone altered the headers, but we don’t know who did it.

How will this line help solve this conundrum?

Well….those last 13 digits on the ‘X-Received:’ line?  That’s a Unix formatted timestamp. It’s actually the number of milliseconds that have elapsed since January 1, 1970 GMT.


So if we plug that value into a Unix Time Code Converter like this one, we’ll get a date/time that is 5 hours ahead of when the email was sent, rendered in the Eastern Time Zone.

So…take 1447616521…(lop off the last three digits because the converter is only accurate down to seconds, which is more than enough for us…drop it in the bin, close the drawer, turn the crank…pocketa, pocketa, pocketa…DING!

We get…

Sun, 15 Nov 2015 19:42:01 +0000!  And in the Eastern Time Zone that would be 14:42:01!  In the Central Time Zone that would be 13:42:01!



EVERYBODY’S LYING?  Well that just can’t be.  Somebody must simply be wrong.  And there’s only two ways that can resolve, because there are two actors and one timeline.


A) DUMBFUCK lied about the timestamps when it posted the fuzzy copy, and Hoge followed by taking the lies and making them wrong; or

B) DUMBFUCK took the correct timestamps from an email sent by someone during halftime of the Packers game (surely just a coincidence!), and intentionally changed them.

But all of this can be resolved once DUMBFUCK takes to Twitter and answers one simple question:

Why do your ORIGINAL, UNTOUCHED email headers reflect multiple time stamps over a day apart? 

And once more, if I may venture to predict a probable response from DUMBFUCK regarding this question…I suspect it will be an awful lot like this:

“Who cares?  You haven’t proven anything! Heengh! Heengh!  Lickspittles!  Footlongs! Mayo! Anal Rape Fetish! YIBBLE BIBBLE BIBBLE!!  KRENDLERRRRRRR!!!”  And then, the memory hole.

And that’s fine.  Because the internet is forever.

bigger shine boxBest GIFmonkey_danceIMG_6357


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

33 thoughts on “Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. If I may venture to predict a possible response from DUMBFUCK regarding these important questions…I suspect it will be an awful lot like this:

    “Who cares? You haven’t proven anything! Heengh! Heengh! Lickspittles! Footlongs! Cub Scout Poop! YIBBLE BIBBLE BIBBLE!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!” And then, the memory hole.

    Could it be.....SATAN???

    Just Dumbfuck being Dumbfuck.

  2. Hey Dumbfuck! If you didn't forge those headers, how about you just forward the whole email as an attachment to one of us? Let's see the headers in their natural habitat.

  3. Damn, just ....DAMN....

    you'd think with all the practice Gail's Abuser (aka Schmalballs) has had with lying he'd be better at it than he is.

  4. the Cardinal Management team is meeting right now to send the elite storm nerders to juniper to fix the breech of intelligence

    Funny, now that they have someone's twit feed - wonder what they are thinking?

      1. If they didn't realize that they were to be suing the universe to protect poor William, they do now.

        Umm, surprise?

    1. The Merry Widower @TheMerryWidower

      The manager has the corporate lawyer and the board backing her up, they are going to protect me as well as the other tenants, @Mayberryville
      6:54 PM - 17 Nov 2015

      That lawyer now has some interesting reading to do.
      And I quote myself form Hogewash:
      Minemyown on 18 November, 2015 at 00:03 said:

      Somewhere in that lease Bill signed, their is most likely, there is a provision in the lease that states that the tenant needs to comply with the law. He has for all intents and purposes broken his lease and they can evict him with no problems.
      He did not read the TOS.

  5. I have a sever--first setup and ran in 2011--that I run every now and then, it has been on three hards drives, four motherboards and two different Linux OS's. The server log--because I have copied the config files whenever it was moved--shows every time it was booted and every time I accessed it remotely.

    1. I have an old server running Unix System V. And it still runs. It's AMAZING the wealth of information available in logs if you just know where to look.

  6. Bill Schmalfeldt (@happy-its-wife-is-deadTheMerryWidower) spews: "Question for @mayberryville (not allowed to ask your partner in crime)."

    1) A question ends with a question mark, not a period. He is borderline illiterate.
    2) And exactly WHY can't he ask me this question? Oh, yeah: a court order baring him from contacting me. Not a simple cease and desist request, but an actual court order, served on him Oct 19. One of six restraining orders that have been issued against him.

    1. That court order... it wouldn't happen to have any conditions to it? Like maybe trying to get a third party to contact you for a certain DUMBFUCK?

      Asking for a friend...

  7. Bill Schmalfeldt has been proven once again, to be lying. Like when he claimed he was a pauper to a federal court. Or when he lied in his statement to a MA court about his contacts to me. Or when he lied about the medals awarded to him by the Navy. At this point, it would be noteworthy if he ever told the truth.

    1. Five hours of silence on his Twitter feed, in the middle of the afternoon, after being handed his ample ass on a ENORMOUS silver platter...

      What could it mean?

      1. Any one of a dozen or more things

        1. Out to Walgreens to pick up Johnnie
        2. Sitting across the table from the NINJANUNS!
        3. Packing his shit.
        5. "Fear Pee Cleanup on Aisle 5!"
        6. Doxing UKULELEBOY - he was next on the list
        7.Making salty mudpies with his soulmate (or should that be "from?" A GS13 would know)
        8. New book
        9. New LULZSuit
        10. Just out tooling around on a motorized mobility scooter, completely oblivious.
        11. Accidentally fell in the lake 12 times?
        12. Relocating to Idaho Street

      2. "12. Relocating to Idaho Street"

        Likely sometime in the near future, but not right now. I don't think his landlord has realized the true extent of his behavior yet. Heaven forbid if he should ever be kicked off the internet, and he turns his vile behavior on his neighbors.

      3. Bill's back:

        "The sad thing, they worked so HARD to try to debunk the email, which is the least of their imminent troubles."

        That wasn't hard to "debunk", dipshit.


        This looks as though he using the Dan Rather *But its what's in the fake document that's the story" defense.

        Additionally, he looks to keep getting assurances from Team Kimbergarten operatives by constantly tagging them. I'm curious as to why that is.

        Dear Bill -
        Love, Team Good Guys.

      5. It's like a dog looking for attention from family members who have forgotten it exists.

      6. Well it isn't 3(b): unpacking his shit and playing scratch 'n' sniff.

        We'd have had a full podcast by now.

  8. Blob keeps forgetting the major source of all of his angst and troubles...


    This truth will never change. Never.

  9. I count that this is the 1079th time Willie has threatened doom, presumably of the legal variety. The previous 1078 times, absolutely no adverse legal consequnces have occurred to those threatened. Some people may conclude from this long list of failures in the legal arena that there will be no adverse legal consequnces this time either and so view Willie's rage as scary as the tantrum of a toddler. Clearly, however, Blustering Bill assumes that Lickspittles and Zombies are not such people and are quivering in terror at being sued for something by someone.


  10. You know, boss, if you'd just put the images into the dreaded "throbbing memo" format he'd have spent the next six months convinced you were Charles Johnson, and spewing his filth towards LGF.


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