Put Up Or Shut Up?

K…


THIS IS A CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PAUL KRENDLER, AUTHOR AND ADMINISTRATOR OF THE THINKING MAN’S ZOMBIE BLOG, AND ANY SOUL, DEAD OR UNDEAD, FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO VISIT THE MOST POPULAR DUMBFUCK RELATED BLOG ON THE INTERNET, A DISTINCTION WHICH INCLUDES ALL OF DUMBFUCK’S OWN BLOGS, ROLLED TOGETHER INTO ONE!  THIS COMMUNICATION IS IN REGARD TO A RECENTLY DISMISSED CASE BEFORE THE US DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF MARYLAND AND IS NOT TO BE SHARED BY ANYONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO TWEET, RE-BLOG, LINK OR CUT AND PASTE.  YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO ASK PERMISSION, AND WHILE GIVING CREDIT WOULD BE NICE, I’M NOT THE KIND OF ZOMBIE WHO WILL CHASE YOU DOWN AND EAT YOUR BRAINS OVER SOMETHING SO TRIVIAL.  NO, I’LL WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE ASLEEP AND EASIER TO SNEAK UP ON.

Pardon me for saying so, but I get the feeling I am not dealing with an ordinary DUMBFUCK here. I will repeat. It was lying when it said it no longer lives in Maryland, and you can check the email headers if you really want to prove that. Thus, the US District Court of Maryland still has jurisdiction over it, even though it has no jurisdiction over any of the other players in this case. And never did.  Which it was just kind enough to admit, thanks.

It can refile in its new state (where is the state of Inebriation, anyway?  Damned if I can find it on a map) as long as it files different made up charges. But the fatal flaw will still be there.  Plus, as it just admitted, whatever state it lives in has not a whit to do with personal jurisdiction over any of the other players in this case. And, at the moment, it says the only people on its radar are the Dasanis of Shirley-Jackson, MS.

Note to the Dasanis:  Get down offa there, it’s not safe!

What it did was unnecessary and vile beyond description. I repeat. You had good reason to include that vile, disgusting photo in your exhibit outlining the magnitude of the harassment that DUMBFUCK subjected you and your wife to. You know and I know that you included it as part of an exhibit for one reason:  to help the strength of your counterclaim against the DUMBFUCK.  The fact that doing so made it part of the public domain, allowing me to post the exhibit containing the photo that it not only was witless enough to take but to vomit forth onto the internet and lose all control over, is just a lovely perk.  You could have made your same arguments with as much impact without that photo. But more impact is always better, and besides, using the picture is so much more FUN!

So, once more. Since the only people on its radar at the moment are you and your lovely bride, and not for using the photo (comma) although that was like stabbing someone in the back (actually, I thought it was more like an ear-flick, but it’s the most weepingest, no-responsibility-taking, sand-filled, skirt-flooded mangina ever to nutshuffle the Earth, so of course it’s going to whine and piss itself like the cowardly bitch it is) as it waddled, defeated, away from a fight that it no longer had  the guts to fight because it knew it couldn’t possibly win, instead executing a cowardly, craven almost-surrender that it will never be allowed to forget for the rest of its miserable life (which it may be able to weave into an Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress charge (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!)  since someone sent Krendler—I’ll never rat you out, Richard the orderly – I PROMISE!—the photo before you filed the brief), you might want to reconsider your attitude toward this. It wants Krendler, but it can already prove who Krendler is, except res judicata. But it will settle for you and your wife suing it right down to its fucking bones, to borrow a phrase, since she gave you the email for you to use as a weapon against it, in the complete absence of any instruction to the contrary, and she in fact made a near certain inference that this was exactly what she was meant to do!

You’ve done a fine job,, Scott. It needs to get its face out of Krendler and Hoge’s blogs, go down to the lake and take a long walk off a short pier.  Preferably at the other end of a heavy length of chain tied to several masonry blocks he’s just kicked off the end of the pier.  Imagine the testimony, you telling a jury the absolute truth of the matter—how the photo was sent to you unbidden by a DUMBFUCK, and how no restriction was placed on the further distribution of the photo.  How you demonstrate a DUMBFUCK’S complete lack of respect for the dignity of someone it claims to love more than life itself, but not quite as much a it loves a smooth tumbler of brown liquor.  It says it took that picture for a purpose, Scott, with her permission and her understanding what it intended to do with it (as far as you know…she’s gone Tango Uniform now, and can’t contradict whatever cock-and-bull story it makes up). It says it thought it was dealing with creatures as human as itself (soft, green, slimy, often found in shells, vulnerable to salt and DELICIOUS with garlic and butter), it thought they would understand the reality of what this woman went through, the frailty of the flesh, the brevity of life. LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOURGLASS…SO…ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES.   What kind of monster takes a photo like that one and sends it to complete strangers?  A COSMIC DUMBFUCK, THAT’S WHO!  What a horrible, thoughtless, sadistic, cruel thing it did, Scott. If there is a heart in your chest and a soul in your body, you should feel ashamed in the name of the woman whose life and legacy a DUMBFUCK saw fit to shit all over as part of a painfully obvious, doomed-to-failure extortion plot.  All you’ve done is pick up the grenade it threw at you without pulling the pin, and properly launched it back into the retreating plumber’s crack of its bacon-stripped pajama trousers. And for that, there will be yet another failed attempt at retribution in a court of law, followed by peals of laughter and whoops of derision as it is driven in defeat once more.

Do a risk-benefit analysis. Is it more FUN for you to take the credit for this cowardly attack and find yourself and your wife at the back of a courtroom laughing hysterically like teenage girls sharing a plate of weed brownies while it work its pro se magic?  Or do you want to cop a fealty from Krendler who the DUMBFUCK cannot identify –

“Can too!”

Can not!

“Can too!”

Can not!

“Can too!”

(SLAP!)

“Shut up, you little DUMBFUCK!”

“WHY WON’T YOU STAY DEAD, MOTHER!?!? I’d appreciate your reply by noon Friday.”

And it never ceases to amaze me how our gang of thugs always remembers that, “IT Done It First!” when everyone knows the second guy always gets the flag.  But if you wish to violate federal law (like the DUMBFUCK did) by sharing a private communication between a decent litigant and a COSMIC DUMBFUCK, then you will have to carry, for the rest of your life, the wait for a charge (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!) to be filed. Because it never will be.  Like every other threat it has made, this one too is as empty as its head.

Mr. Edgren is an honorable, intelligent person, now that he has stopped behaving like the DUMBFUCK, when the un-self-aware DUMBFUCK thought Mr. Edgren was a treasonous, traitorous, fucking extortionist and the Second Worst Lawyer In The World and still good enough in his dotage to crush a DUMBFUCK like a grasshopper against a windshield. Please do not compare yourself to him because I’ll wet my pants again.

Be well.

B. Ewell

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

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