Parsers Gonna Parse

“I can’t drink” is not the same as “I don’t drink.”

Why do I assume a DUMBFUCK who isn’t supposed to drink is in fact actually drinking?

Two reasons:

  1. DUMBFUCKS are habitual and terrible liars.
  2. A Trustworthy little bird who may have been an eyewitness Just told me!

Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

7 thoughts on “Parsers Gonna Parse”

  1. Well, that and it's hard to believe that anyone leaves the booze only drunk by guests on top of the microwave. It's either in a cupboard, on a shelf, or on the table or counter while the guest is there.

    1. I would think that his thinking problems and other Parkinson's problems would be made worse by that medicine.

    2. Hmm, looks like his doctor(s) don't like him very much, either...

      Say what you will about me, Cousin Bill, but your Cousin Roy would not try to poison you.

      Unlike your physician.

  2. Why do I believe the Johnny Walker sitting half empty on the microwave of a single occupancy (sorry Gail) apartment belongs to the owner? Why should I not believe it?

    I fully believe in the Underpants Gnomes theory of American Whiskey:

    Step 1: Leave JWR in Bill Schmalfeldt's apartment.
    Step 2: Sit back and watch.
    Step 3: FUN!

  3. I think we may be able to say DUMBFUCK has a protégé named DUMBSHIT.

    The Johnny Walker red is DUMBFUCK's, reasonable people, who have been on medications for years that say--do not use with alcohol--do not keep alcohol in the house.


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