33 thoughts on “As Someone Likes To Say…”

  1. I guess waiting for a viewer is more interesting to him than playing with his socks?

    You know what I meant.

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      1. No, these pranks are strictly domestic.

        However, it is touching to witness Bill's trust in his new domicile's staff and in the locks on the building and on his apartment door.

        So trusting. Very cute. Locks keep honest people honest.

        I'll use small words so Bill can understand his predicament:

        I do not need to be in Bill's home to make pranks happen. Or even in Bill's building. Or even in Wisconsin.

        I have lots of money. Lots and lots and lots!

        I can pay people to do pranks for me! Pay, pay, pay!

        All the nice people who work at Bill's new home get low pay.

        Very low pay. Low, low, low.

        This makes them very, very sad, and kind of grumpy. Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.

        I make them happy by offering them more money if they will do easy pranks for me. Happy, happy, happy!

        Little pranks are all I ask them to do. Little, little pranks, all very easy!

        Like take longer to answer Bill's phone calls. Longer, longer, longer!

        Like putting Bill's maintenance requests at the very bottom of the stack. Bottom, bottom, bottom!

        Like forgetting to mark your rent as "paid" each month. Late, late, late! What a deadbeat!

        Like noticing what you like to eat in the cafeteria, and not stocking those things. No nice foods for you, Bill!

        So many possible pranks! So, so many!

        Nothing that is a crime, though. Oh, no, that would be illegal! I don't want them to get into trouble, or be fired! No, no, no!

        I would never ask them to sprinkle cat poop flakes in your apartment! That would be wrong, wrong, wrong!

        Or drop smelly things behind your refrigerator! Herring, herring, herring!

        Or to scrub your toilet with your toothbrush! Oh, so naughty, I would not ask that!

        No, nothing like that! If they do those things, it's because you were mean to them! Mean, mean, mean!

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        1. So what you're saying is that DUMBFUCK probably has little or no respect for people who serve it, meet its needs and keep it comfortable?

          That's odd, because it seems easily upset by people who don't pay respect to its high quality service from many decades past.

          Goose...gander...WTFever.

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  2. " to demonstrate to law enforcement and the insipid wife of a dumbass dog trainer that she was a human being, not an abstract object for their online abuse. But that concept was lost on the good couple at the Doggy Style Ranch in Shirley, MA. Instead, they turned the photo over to this mentally ill person to be used as a weapon against me."

    I wonder why he had to demonstrate to law enforcement that she was a human being? What had he done that gave them any idea that she wasn't a human being? And "object for their online abuse"? Neither my wife or I ever "abused" his wife, in person, online, or otherwise. So he is accusing law enforcement of abusing his wife here. Or does he just not understand English? Oh, right: DUMBFUCK.

    And someone needs to inform him that those tough Wisconsin harassment statutes have jurisdiction over him, and not over someone living in another state.

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    1. I think it requires a GS-13 editor to understand what he was writing. Us poor mere mortals who just have graduate degrees or thriving businesses can never hope to fathom the meaning. /Do I really have to put a sarc tag?

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      1. It has been docketed, but not acted on yet. Could mean nothing; could mean the judge is actually reviewing everything the clerks kept from him, and the case could be re-opened.

        I'm waiting to see what happens before sending off my letter to Chief Judge Catherine Blake complaining about what (didn't) happen in the case.

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      1. I know. Even after it has been pointed out to him that she is the half owner of the dog training business, and I have no piece of it. You just can't fix DUMBFUCK.

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  3. But this unreasoning hatred. Now that I’ve moved on with my life, other folks with whom I’ve had online issues have also moved on. It’s the mentally-healthy, adult thing to do.

    DUMBFUCK, you've moved to within 100 miles of Grady, and you're constantly writing tweets and blog posts about him including this:

    http://i.imgur.com/NObSrit.jpg

    That is not "moving on" you demented sack of derp. That's more like "moving in" and were I Grady, you'd be explaining yourself to a Cook County judge.

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  4. The Ribbonless hero of Elkridge
    Was left penniless, homeless, in suffrage

    Forced to move
    by a son he never knew

    To find another place to do damage

    Porners fluffer the bombers of Women
    the bombers of children
    and the rapers of Republicans

    But not in Elkridge
    he shall write no more

    Of raping small children, men and more

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  5. I just want to say this here where my "palsy walsy" William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr. will see it:

    You think you're just moving on?

    You:
    dox'd me and published my information and that of my wife on the internet,
    harassed me at home with unwanted phone calls and emails,
    stole photos of mine and published them on twitter and your blog,
    filed false charges of harassment and death threats with my local police against me,
    defamed me by publicly, on a blog and in emails, stating that I was tormenting you,
    falsely sued me for half a millions dollars in federal court,
    emailed my wife twice, once with sick and disgusting photos in it,
    threatened to ruin her business,
    threatened to take her business away from her,
    and routinely insult the two of us on your blogs.

    And you think you can just say "Never mind?" NO. FUCKING. WAY. Do you really think you can fuck with a man's life like that and then walk away? You have harmed me in multiple ways, and I am not satisfied. You have found out several times that when I tell you something, I am not bluffing. And I am telling you this: I will seek retribution.

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      1. I think you are very wrong. I believe that his constant deletions/spoilations reflect consciousness of guilt.

        Actualy, you may not be so wrong, he may understand he did wrong, but thinks that the deletion cures all past wounds? And then his weapons grade amnesia joins with his weapons grade stupidity and HOOOOGGGGEEEE!!!!! KRENDDLEEERRR!!!!!

        TL;DR: Dumbfucks gotta dumbfuck.

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    1. Trust me, he is oblivious to the fucking-over he receives, largely because he's so fucking dumb.

      I've been screwing him over for decades, behind the scenes (Fired? Bad review? Passed over for promotion? Wife left, but had money to get away, somehow? Plus she had a better divorce lawyer than you expected? Kids hate your guts? Gail's inexplicable losses in business and in court? YUP, ALL ME - the fix was ALWAYS in, and you stood there all slack-jawed, and cursed the fates.), and Cousin Bill hasn't a clue just how badly I've screwed him over.

      Yah, Cousin Bill, YOU don't get to decide when it's over. Not unless you take the cure, and, even then, I have some retribution queued up.

      Your obit(s) will be epic, Cuz...and your ashes/grave will smell of my urine. And that's just the start...

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      1. Even if he ever caught another man's wife, which I doubt, he does not seem to know how to do what comes next with any degree of competence. A man who cannot keep his own wives is unlikely to keep any other woman who is in a position to make a comparison between him and another bedmate.

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