Zombiein' Ain't Easy

I have begun to consider a career change.

The Zombie blogger thing is beginning to wear a bit thin, so I’m looking at other options.  Possibly I may transition to Guy blogger.

“What does a Guy blogger do?” I hear you ask.

Well, there are at least a couple different categories of Guy bloggers.  Primarily what you find out there are Manhood Guy bloggers, (think AskMen.com) who focus on drinking the right liquor, wearing the right clothes, driving the right cars, owning the right fabulous apartments and seducing and dumping the right women.

I don’t think I’m that kind of Guy blogger.

There’s also the Asshole Guy bloggers (think Tucker Max), who lie about fantastic adventures in assholery, breaking-and-entering, petty theft, barroom antics, fights, drunkenness and other shenanigans.

I don’t think I’m that kind of Guy blogger either.

But…

  • “You need tickets to the game?.  I know a guy.”
  • “Your stove doesn’t work?  I think I know a guy.”
  • “You got a car that needs a tune up?  Let me call my guy!”
  • “You want to burn your business to the ground and collect the insurance?  Let me see if I know anybody who knows a guy…”
  • “Your neighbor’s pitbull bit your daughter’s arm off?  You need to talk to my guy!”
  • “The juvenile delinquent down the block keyed your new car?  Oh, I definitely know a guy!”

That’s a guy worth knowing.

But first you gotta network…figure out the pay scale…take out an SBA loan…stock up on rubber gloves, bleach, diesel fuel, rags…gotta drink a whole lotta beer and save the bottles…open a Roth IRA…

I dunno.

Gotta think some more.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

14 thoughts on “Zombiein' Ain't Easy”

  1. A sugestion that doesn't go quite as far off the deep end as your suggestion is The Art of Manliness http://www.artofmanliness.com/
    I like their stuff, even if a zombie might have problems following everything.

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  2. Have you ever considered piracy?

    You'd make Wonderful Dead Pirate Roberts....

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  3. Wearing a bit thin eh? Try doing it for 9 years. In the end, you just have to write about what you're into. Slot car racing, fat creepy clowns, gay zombies, whatever. Just write what you want when you want and before you know it 5 years will have gone by and you'll have no idea how you spent all that time.

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  4. So... you want to be Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars? "You have a 1911 toy baby carriage made in Australia by a blind carpenter? I know a guy....

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  5. As far as the supplies, industrial strength Hydrogen Peroxide (35%) and nitric acid (35%); use heavy PVC lined gloves and you'll need good ventilation.

    What? It's how you get rid of the zombie ... detritus.

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  6. Maybe a gradual transition?

    Like, you could be the Thinking Man's Zamboni for a while, slowly but inexorably moving to crush Bill into a sticky paste, meataphorically speaking.

    Yes, that was a typo, I caught it but thought it worked better.

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