Projection – It's Hard Dirty Work

THE FOLLOWING IS A PARODY OF THE POST LINKED HERE: http://thecranialvault.blogspot.com/2015/08/trolling-its-hard-dirty-work.html, WRITTEN BY WILLIAM M. SCHMALFELDT, SR.  DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK.  IT WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE HIM. 

INSTEAD, READ THE POST WHERE IT HAS BEEN ARCHIVED AS ETERNAL PROTECTION AGAINST THE INEVITABLE DELETION AND SPOLIATION OF EVIDENCE WHICH IS THE HALLMARK OF PRIDE THAT PUNCTUATES SCHMALFELDT’S PATHETIC EXISTENCE.  

SAFE LINK: https://archive.is/3foXG

Trolling…to the dedicated cyberstalking DUMBFUCK, it’s not a chore…it’s not a hobby.  It’s a raison d’être. It has no other interests or avocations.  Friends, long ignored and forgotten, fall away and vanish.  Tending to the needs of the Clockwork Urn (is she in the right timezone yet?) must be left undone lest a target post something on a blog directed into Maryland (that might go forever unread in Wisconsin if not for the vigilant watchfulness of the trolling DUMBFUCK and his daily hunting expeditions from his Windows 10 machine in the Crappy Wifi Arms Hotel and Animal Shelter) that the DUMBFUCK would only see if it looks at The Most Hatefulest Website In The Known Universe and Possibly Several Alternate Universes As Well, where it is roundly mocked, ridiculed and afflicted with cosmic butthurt that only a Jacuzzi full of mayonnaise could salve.

The DUMBFUCK blames others for being a DUMBFUCK, of course.  It’s the default setting for the dedicated DUMBFUCK.  Virtuoso DUMBFUCKS don’t get to its GRANDMASTER DUMBFUCK LEVEL through their own efforts—it’s always someone else’s fault.  “I had to look at The Most Hatefulest Website In The Known Universe and Possibly Several Alternate Universes As Well,” it cries, “to see what mean, nasty, horrible, evil things I must get all butthurt about today.  How would I be able to blame others for my failed existence without seeing the truth about myself to get all butthurt over?”

It’s hard, thankless work.  But entertaining as hell for the spectators.

The number of readers has never been important…because there will always be one EPIC DUMBFUCK out there to provide the clicks. It can’t help itself.  Every day it is compelled by its diseased DUMBFUCK turtle-turd of a brain to visit, even if there is no new content.  It must read every comment, track every single Like, screencapping all the commenters to single out for future doxing and harassment, hunting down and cataloging email addresses to send disgusting photographs of its emaciated, dying spouse.

Hard, thankless work.  Even though she can no longer speak, it hears her muffled voice from inside the TickTockTomb, begging it to PLEASE…JUST…PUT…THE…FUCKING…CAMERA…DOWN…AND…STOP…ALREADY.

She never understood its DUMBFUCKERY.  She understood the truck drivers.

How long will a DUMBFUCK harbor and nurse its butthurt and indignities?  Will a day come when it realizes the opinions of others only cause its butthurt agony because it has never taken ownership and control of its own swollen, malignant, cancerous tumor of an ego?  No.  Such a thin-skinned and masochistic narcissist lives to be insulted—Butthurt Is Life.  How long before its false significance, propped up by stolen valor and fabricated work histories, motivates it to tuck its microscopic nutfeet up in the rolly-walker and beg a ride from sissie to track down and execute the mistaken target of its rage?

Never.  It will never do it.  Whatever it had in its teeny little sack went into the oven with the coinpurse and its owner. DUMBFUCKS wallow in their cowardice until they go Tango Uniform.

DUMBFUCKS read any blog they like.  They waste most of their time, though, reading blogs they don’t like, because NOBODY CAN STOP A DUMBFUCK FROM MONKEYDANCING.  Because a DUMBFUCK is DUMB.

How DUMB is a DUMBFUCK?  FUCKING DUMB enough to think that the blogs it trolls don’t want it to see what they publish!

Got news.

If something gets published that a DUMBFUCK shouldn’t see, DUMBFUCK doesn’t see it.  It happens every day.  And if it does see something that causes it fresh waves of butthurt…well, it should just file a fucking lawsuit or something.

Until it works up the desire, energy and balls to make that UNCHARTABLY  RIDICULOUS FUCKING ERROR ONE MORE TIME, though…

monkey_dance

 

Like(0)Dislike(0)

Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

30 thoughts on “Projection – It's Hard Dirty Work”

  1. You know, I thought that picture was a self description by Bill, until I saw the lack of dick dents, and possibly related, the "unused" anus.

    Like(0)Dislike(0)
  2. He also chopped of the copyright notice and GU Comics logo from the comic as well as not following the terms and conditions of use for GU Comics. Which are very generous in use of their material for personnel blogs by does require a link to GU Comics Archives.

    Like(0)Dislike(0)
    1. When the time comes, as it must, we should all chip in and get that dedication on one of these.

      Like(0)Dislike(0)
  3. that the DUMBFUCK would only see if it looks at The Most Hatefulest Website In The Known Universe and Possibly Several Alternate Universes As Well

    Let's not forget the reigning World Champion Bill Schmalfeldt associated blog, having lasted years beyond all other comers, including anything the DUMBFUCK himself has authored!

    Lllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttt's get ready to BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

    Like(0)Dislike(0)
  4. Isn't this the same guy who LIVED on xmfan for three years of government time?

    The best trolling advice, it seems, comes from experts.

    Like(0)Dislike(0)
      1. For him to meet them? Yes, it'll be cold outside.

        For them to look like her? yeah, probably not.

        For them to shun him? See it's cold outside. In July.

        Like(0)Dislike(0)
      1. She's still right twice a day, unless he can't figure out how to reset her to Central time. In which case she's an hour off, all day, and would be more accurate with no battery. And also less brusied with less battary. So let's just round that off to "thanks, Bill!" and call it even.

        Like(0)Dislike(0)
      2. You know, a paradox of timekeeping is that if two clocks are perfectly accurate, but are set differently, one could always be right, and the other always wrong. But if you had a clock that randomly lurched from one indication to another, it might be right now and then, but those few times would be remarkable, because they were so rare. In Shakey's case, we have an individual that is so wrong, so often, that we have an example of near-perfect chaos. Perhaps a university should study him.

        Like(0)Dislike(0)
      3. If they can put him in a box, and administer electric shocks at random intervals (strictly in the interests of science, of course), then, yeah, a university should do just that!

        Like(0)Dislike(0)

Comments are closed.