Now, for the meat of this post, I offer a bit of heartfelt genius from a commenter who I just know a DUMBFUCK would LOVE to add to his LOLsuit, if he hadn’t been so FUCKING DUMB as to lose his freebie and file too late. I would expose his talents here, but not his identity. If he wants to claim credit, I’m confident he will step up and do so.
ThIngs to consider when you’re feeling a little down:
- At least you haven’t pissed yourself, especially in front of a cop.
- At least you haven’t pooped in your pants when sitting on your mother’s padded chair.
- At least your mother and father loved you, and not in the “bad touch” way.
- At least your children still love and respect you.
- At least you have real friends who want to visit you.
- At least you know for sure that your children are your real issue.
- At least you are smart and creative enough not to have to plagiarize other people’s material. [And like I said, if the author wants to claim credit for this fine work, all he need do is say so here. – PK]
- At least you don’t have to create sock puppets as evidence that a relative somewhere still cares about you.
- At least you don’t pick your own feces out of the toilet, roll it into a ball and sniff it.
- At least you are smart enough to be able to discern enablers and know how to deflect them.
- At least you are smart enough to know how to brew a smaller pot of coffee.
- At least you have enough self-esteem that you don’t need to stroke your ego by putting down everyone else in the world. As Dirty Harry once said, “A man’s got to know his limitations!”
- At least you worship God in all His glory, rather than living a life of filth and blasphemy.
- At least you can forego the Internet when a loved one is in crisis.
- At least you can engage your problems directly without having to resort to anonymous torture and persecution.
- At least you can resolve your personal problems and issues without having to resort to bullying, intimidation, harassment, stalking, threats, slander, libel, extortion and other forms of criminal behavior.
- At least you can love and find good in your fellow man.
- At least, when you get into an Internet flame war, you don’t cry like a baby when people play by your rules and kick your ass.
You see, DUMBFUCK, you have to take responsibility for yourself and for the things you do. You made a FAT FUCKING MISTAKE, assuming that I don’t know anybody in Carroll County. MD law enforcement, or Middlesex County, MA law enforcement. The wreck you have made of your “sterling reputation” and your non-existent credibility as a criminal victim are not as narrowly defined as you might hope. It’s not just Brett Kimberlin who snickers up his sleeve at your investigative, journalistic and legal prowess. The people who know your name and reputation are LEGION, and their numbers grow daily. And six degrees of separation are not a wide gulf to cross for LULZ.
Vinnie was too busy to say hey today, but someone else asked how to un-send an email. They didn’t leave a name.