Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave – Part the Second

So, last night, we fisked the shit out of Billy-boy’s non-apology apology to me. I’m sure that you all have seen what we have posted over at Billy Sez about how the corpulent one has doubled down on said non-apology. It’s just truly amazing how he keeps doing the same things over and over and over again, getting the same result, each and every time. It’s as if he thinks he’s the only one in the room with a brain. He’d actually better rethink that train of thought because if he IS the only one in the room with a brain and he’s with the zombie horde…. Well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be a pleasant dinner party for Billy, now would it? Heh!


Now, if you all haven’t familiarized yourself with Billy’s recitation of the email exchange to me, you can find it here (safe link). Where on earth does he come up with these metaphors though? Iscariot? Really? Because honestly, y’all are being really damn cheap with me here because I certainly haven’t seen one single wooden nickel, let alone THIRTY benjamins for my efforts in this saga. Harumph!

I’m certain that Billy thinks I’m going to get all angsty about what he posted. Guess what. I’m not. Because it is a fair and accurate depiction of what occurred. At least insofar as what my words were to him. But as to his “commentary?” Well, we all know that Billy is just a little bit touched in the head when he starts putting HIS thoughts in OTHER people’s heads. It usually starts going all sorts of sideways, and he certainly did not disappoint in the slightest.

For example, he didn’t show you what happened the day before he sent his non-apology apology. Nor what was said AFTER the stuff he posted. What happened the day before? Well, it was was a simple mistake on my part. I meant to email gmhowell, requesting permission for stuff. He knew I was shooting him an email. He was probably pretty confused that I hadn’t actually shot him an email because I told him when I did it.

View post on imgur.com

I sent the email. And waited. And waited. Then I went back and checked to see if the email had actually gone through, because, you know, fucking Microsoft. And that’s when I saw it.

I had copied the wrong email address.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! FUUUUUUUCKKKKK! fuck. *headdesk*

Oh well, time to suck it up, Buttercup and put your big girl panties on. And maybe have some fun if he bites at me. But he really can’t be that predictable, now can he? Oh wait. This is Billy we are talking about. M’bad!

And so, promptly upon his waking up, like clockwork, guess who emails me back.

View post on imgur.com

Game is ON motherfucker! Let’s watch the monkey dance!

View post on imgur.com

Step Number 1. Make him think I don’t suspect a damn thing.

View post on imgur.com

Oooooh! I’m in! Like Flynn! Except he probably thinks HE is in. Like Flynn. Dang. Flynn is going to be getting some major action today. LMFAO!

View post on imgur.com

Twas the honest to God truth. I wasn’t inclined to keep it private anymore. So I forwarded the email back to Billy. Sending his email from one address to another. Oh, how I giggled! It pissed my cat off a whole lot and he got up off my lap in a huff.

View post on imgur.com

Notice that I included DEdgren in the email as well as Billy-boy. That was deliberate. I wanted someone else to have documented proof, and I wanted to cozen Billy into thinking I didn’t know what was going on. Guess it worked!

But guess what ELSE I had done in between setting the hook in Billy’s puffy little cheek? That’s right, boys and girls. I posted it to others. Among them, the REAL gmhowell.

View post on imgur.com

Red flag number one! And remember, I knew from the previous night that this particular email thread that was going on was with Bill.

While the rest of the conversation Billy posted went down, others – including every last one one of the ones he was going to be “forwarding the email on to” ever so helpfully were already reading it. And laughing manically.

Oh, and yes, Billy. It’s AMAZING whose e-mail addresses we don’t have. The list that I personally don’t have is long. The list that YOU don’t have is even longer. Sorry. Wasn’t going to fall into that trap. I may have been playing the ingénue (didn’t know I still had it in me! SCORE!) but I wasn’t going to let the big, bad wolf (slug?) eat me.

Anyway, Billy lays it all out, with of course his interpretation of things. Except for one small, but important thing: I actually don’t know of any such plan as what he described. 

I know, I know, you are all shocked, SHOCKED to hear that I am an innocent babe in the woods when it comes to this “nefarious plot” that Billy alleges that was cooked up. But such is life, and such is the role us lady pirate zombies are sometimes thrust into. Le sigh!

In essence, Billy couldn’t get blood from a stone if he tried, mainly because he was the one who bled all over the stone in the first place and called it a success!!!!111!!!ELEVENTY!!!!

Me, on the other hand, I just wanted to make him dance. And boy, did I get it.

I signed off, with my Musketeers statement, said I was going to the mall. And gave him a few little “personal” details that I pulled from thin air. Except the divorce thing. Divorce sucks, y’all. Do what you can to avoid it, but if you gotta get divorced, be as kind as you can to each other without letting the other run you over. I’m sure many of you know that, so this is me, choir, preaching, The End.

So, yes indeedy, I did go to the mall. It was the damn Victoria’s Secret Semi Annual sale for fuck’s sake! Bras were to be had! And nightrails! And garterbelts! And… Oh. Sorry!

Then my phone started going off. And who was it, yet again, with an ominous warning.

View post on imgur.com

Oh for fuck’s sake. Whenever Billy gives someone “advice” you know that there is going to be some serious fucktard-ness going on. I wasn’t disappointed.

View post on imgur.com

Oh, Billy. Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. This was supposed to scare me? Really? Terrify me into thinking I had “given it all up?” But how can I give up what I do not have? All I was was a mirror to his plot. One that he has been broadcasting far and wide, hither and yon. I would have been an idiot not to know what he believed and not have been able to play along.








View post on imgur.com

sotto voce: And now, he lines himself up for the dox….

View post on imgur.com


View post on imgur.com

Billy just can’t quit being Billy, now can he?

View post on imgur.com

He’s just so. Damn. Sure. Sure of everything HE knows. In his head. Where the little voices whisper that he is the most MAGNIFICENT HUMAN BEING EVAR! *cough*

View post on imgur.com

Remember that picture I posted the other day?


Yeah, that’s the one. This was Bill. And this was all he heard.

View post on imgur.com

View post on imgur.com

And his misogyny starts to show. Same pattern. Different day.

View post on imgur.com

Whoop! There it is! His threat of last resort. Imma gonna add you to the list! Imma gonna sue you! Imma gonna get charges brought against YOUUUUUUU! THIS is when you know that Billy knows for certain that he has been found out, yet again, as the fool he truly is. And that all we do is laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh!

View post on imgur.com

View post on imgur.com

He starts trying to draw me back into things again. It’s not going to work. I have bras to try on, a child to spoil, and a tasty dinner to make. Even though I know it’s a fool’s errand, I try, yet again, to point out that yeah, he really has nothing. Nothing except the words of his own echo chamber.

View post on imgur.com

He won’t listen though. Because he thinks that he has the ULTIMATE WEAPON!!!11!!!11!!!!!

View post on imgur.com

That’s right. My family. And just who now is supposed to be off limits according to Billy’s rules? That’s right. No. One. Remember that oh ye zombie horde members who are of a more vindictive bent than I am. Families are NEVER off limits to Billy. He proves it time and again and again and again.

I know it’s useless to keep up with the email exchange. Anything else I say will be more “proof” to his weaksauce pudding, and I really don’t feel like getting into the whole “This is the INTERNET you retard. We will LIE to you. WITHOUT COMPUNCTION! And frankly, we don’t give a damn.”

Seeing that I won’t bite back, Billy takes it to another level over at in the comments at Billy Sez. Because he must be reacted to, DAMMIT! I’m supposed to be FLAILING!

View post on imgur.com

View post on imgur.com

View post on imgur.com

Sigh. If you aren’t outraged at what Billy is outraged at, then you are a bad person. Of course. And I’m supposed to defend for forever because he has something to hang over my head. Except he doesn’t. Because there’s no court case against my daughter. Never was. Never will be. So sorry Billy.

Oh, and most importantly? All of you are supposed to HATE ME because I GAVE UP HOGE, PAT and GEORGE. Except I didn’t. And you are supposed to tie me the post and burn me for a witch. Because I’m a traitor! Because Billy has only one track and can’t be swayed from it.

Remember Billy. We can lie to you. Always. Forever. Until you don’t know what is truth or what is false.

Ha, ha, HA! And Motherfucking HAH!



Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

48 thoughts on “Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave – Part the Second”

  1. I guess that William's getting bored with waiting for Gail to die. He really hasn't been widely known for his attention span.

    The old boy would have been better off if he continued helping his daddy peddle drinks to sailors. I can apparently say that without consequence because he hasn't PROVED that he and Pap John DIDN'T run a tag team with their mouths to peddle discount gin.

      1. William persists in the delusion that defendants have to prove their innocence instead of the accuser proving with independently verifiable information beyond a doubt that the defendant did what he claims they did and there is no other way it could have been done oe no other person who could have done it. Proen to an impartial arbiter (Judge and/or Jury). Not "facts" that exist only within the mind of a person, that can only be "proven" through the convolutions the accuser thinks occurred ... his Feldtcharts are prime examples of how his mind works, there can be only one conclusion to any question, only yes answers, there cannot exist any answer contrary to Bill's answer.
        Dementia at it's finest!

  2. I love how he's sending the stuff from email addresses with names which match known twitter accounts belonging to Bill Schmalfeldt, and he thinks that because he signs himself "George" no one will figure out who it is.

    1. Well, William is an idiot, a lunatic and very probably halfway in a bottle at any given time.

  3. Brilliant! Bill Schmalfeldt is the perfect patsy for this sort of thing. He wants to believe his own narrative so badly, even if he made it all up in the first place.

    I wonder if he has any concerns over impersonating a real person whose identity he knows. Gosh (not practicing law here- just a retired guy speculatin'- there might be laws against that sort of thing.

    1. I was truly surprised at how GOOD of a patsy he was. I mean, he laid it on thick! Wanted me to sympathize with him, bring out my motherly side, want to protect him from the big, BAD things that would happen to him if Hoge wouldn't own up to his nefarious plot that poor widdle Georgie was caught up in.

      Too bad I really had no clue about anything he was claiming - except for the fact that I know that HE is the only one claiming it.

      Oh, lord, I nearly broke a rib I was laughing so hard! It was truly difficult to contain myself. Lol

  4. *blows and rubs fingernails on shirt..

    Brilliant work. Far better than I had hoped. Just needed the information After the way Bill presented it, I had a feeling this was serious bait that just fed his confirmation bias. Now with the Johnny Atsign's investigation showing the blob complicit in his own forgery, that pretty much shows he's nothing but a fucking liar and completely full of shit.

    1. When has he been anything but a liar and full of shit? Oh, right. That would be forever.

      His confirmation bias is SO STRONG I don't know what I could have said to make him change his mind on how everything went "down." It's only a good story in his mind. He's given it all these bells and curliques and farkles. It's kind of disturbing.

      But mostly, it reveals what sort of a person he truly believes Hoge to be - Someone willing to put SOMEONE ELSE in danger for his "quest for vengeance." Um, yeah, that would not be the John Hoge that *I* know. He's the one willing to throw himself into the breach and take the bullets so that innocents don't get harmed along the way, not use a stooge.

      It is this takeaway from the whole exchange that convinces me even more that Billy is a person with a truly dark and wicked heart.

      1. The Stalking Sociopath Bill Schmalfeldt has had to turn WJJH into a monster on a "quest for vengeance." Without this lie, the Deranged Cyberstalker would have to admit that the real monster lives in his own little, black heart. He, too, would have to admit that the ONLY reason this saga started in the first place, and continues to this day, is because the obsessed, demented freak REFUSES TO LEAVE WJJH ALONE.


      2. With all due respect to everyone's privacy, where did he get a shaken baby?

  5. Well done.

    Illustrates that people believe the lies they tell themselves, best.

    Hell, you could *TELL* Cousin Bill you were going to do this to him, again, and he'd still suck it down like a tub of milk gravy.

    Born a sucker, lived a sucker's life, will die a sucker.


    1. I imagine a cut scene from ROTJ...

      ACKBAR: It's a trap!
      **cut **
      BILL THE HUTT: No it's not!

    2. "I like it when Hoge lies to his readers and they lap it up like gravy..."
      Audio Oddities @AudioOddities 6:34 AM 14 Jun 2015

      Ummm...let me change that.

      I love it when Zombies lie to it and it laps it up like gravy!!!

      FIFY DF

      [And now I fixed it for you. 🙂 XOXO - ZM]

  6. The Enemies of Schmalfeldt list:


  7. The statements he's hallucinated are the most interesting part. Even if the PROOF(!!!) he seems to think he has existed (and it obviously does not) it would be hearsay and thus inadmissable and the judge is not going to look at the 28 step feldtchart with the boxes and arrows and a paragraph on the back. Of course, the other thing that doesn't exist in this scenario is the judge. LOL!

  8. I thought the whole thing was fake but this scenario does make more sense than him thinking up and producing the whole thing. He couldn't manage three messages in a row from "Amazon" without mucking up the consistency.
    And I can see Ash making a mistake on one email address, but a whole string of them?

    1. Nope. Not fake in the slightest. If he wants me to, yes, I'll confirm that I sent those emails to a damn LEO. But it proves absolutely, positively nothing. Heck, even if what I wrote WAS true, it's hearsay and not admissible. I think that's the pill he will find hardest to swallow.

      It was slightly unnerving to see "THE RELUCTANT HUMAN" keep popping up in my email box though. Made me want to spray it with disinfectant. lolz

      And as for your consistency bit, I could tell he was literally FROTHING at the mouth over the situation - he couldn't BELIEVE his luck - because I would be typing my response to an email and ANOTHER one from him would come in several times. I'm a fast typer, but his brain leaps from one flight of fancy to another faster than my fingers can fly. There were gaps in my train of thought because of this.

      1. "... I could tell he was literally FROTHING at the mouth over the situation – he couldn’t BELIEVE his luck – because I would be typing my response to an email and ANOTHER one from him would come in several times."

        Typical Bill. Couldn't even play it straight. He was absolutely pissing himself thinking he was undercover and was going to reveal The Grand Conspiracy ELEVENTY!!1!!1!

        But, once again... his obsessive disorder took control, and the kook was running the show.


      2. You must be mistaken.... Don't you know he has Parkinson's and can't type quickly - he's on disability as a result!

  9. I cannot wait for the moment he lays this all out in front of a judge and jury -- who will decide if his two-bit reputation has been damaged. If I was on the other side, I'd ask the judge to give him 4-5 days to present all of his evidence. Hell, I'll buy the chalkboards.

      1. I would go a good deal further than that.

        Our lad has posted all kinds of sexual content on his innumerable blogs, including photographs of erect penises. It's notable that none of those blogs, so far as I'm aware, carried any kind of content warning or age-verification systems,

        It might cast an interesting light on his sterling character once it's pointed out William's pornography was readily available for children to see, with absolutely no effort to prevent that on his part.

        It would also be useful to ask if he followed the requirements of USC 2257, which we all know he couldn't and didn't. And 2257 is a nasty piece of legislation.

        Schmalfeldt's entire life is a litany of dumb, but suing on the basis of his pornography and anyone's characterization of it is perhaps the dumbest of all.

        Of course, if he continues to contend that there's nothing pornographic about his work, he certainly wouldn't be in a position to protest if someone photoshopped Gail surrounded by nude, erect men, could he?

      2. I look forward to a jury full of parents. Most parents just love "comedy skits" concerning young children participating in anal sex with each other, and they really love the idea of their minor children being able to willy-nilly trip over blogs containing pornographic images while they're online doing their homework and stuff.

  10. Enough about the impotent blob, I want to hear more about the trip to Victoria's Secret.

  11. https://twitter.com/AudioOddities/status/610811437682946048

    On the remote chance this ever gets in front of a judge, all she'd have to say is this:

    "I lied to him, Your Honor."

    Because contrary to what DUMBFUCK seems to think, lying to DUMBFUCK is not a crime! It can be done with impunity, and for FUN!


    1. This is the same narcissistic asshat who allegedly stated the following to the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Department, the Montgomery County Police Department, the Montgomery County State’s Attorney, the Carroll County State’s Attorney’s office, and officers of the Carroll County Police Department:

      "And please tell Mr, Howell how much easier it would have been to just provide the information I requested."

      No one owes the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt jackshit -- least of all the truth.

    2. Precisely. 😀

      Billy knows he didn't get a damn thing, so he "doesn't have time." He sure had a lot of time on his hands yesterday to froth at the mouth in the comments gulag of this blog. Wailing and gnashing his teeth that y'all weren't excoriating me for being a TRAITOR.

      Whatta maroon!

      1. It's so cringey and face-palmy the way he can't properly judge what he hears or reads. He just doesn't process info normally.
        The too clever by half schtick is painful to observe;

  12. OMG Grace! Did you know that they actually have bras now that have an additional piece of frippery that is DESIGNED to be used as some sort of necklace type accent? I picked up this one bra and there were these really two long ribbons attached to the top of the shoulders that had metal aglets on the end. Kind of pretty, but more along the lines of WTF is THIS? The sales clerk told me it's so that you can either tie it at the nape of your neck so the trailing ends dangle down your back or you can tie them in front like a necklace.

    SO WEIRD! lol

  13. Judge: "On one hand, we have an email conversation that Schamfeldt says proves the letter was forged. The other party of the conversation states they were lying to him. On the other hand we have the letter itself which has been examined and scientifically proven to have been printed on Schmalfeldt's printer. You know what? Screw the science. Let's go with the email conversation."

    Yeah, Bill, go with that scenario. It's a winner!


Comments are closed.