So, last night, we fisked the shit out of Billy-boy’s non-apology apology to me. I’m sure that you all have seen what we have posted over at Billy Sez about how the corpulent one has doubled down on said non-apology. It’s just truly amazing how he keeps doing the same things over and over and over again, getting the same result, each and every time. It’s as if he thinks he’s the only one in the room with a brain. He’d actually better rethink that train of thought because if he IS the only one in the room with a brain and he’s with the zombie horde…. Well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be a pleasant dinner party for Billy, now would it? Heh!
Now, if you all haven’t familiarized yourself with Billy’s recitation of the email exchange to me, you can find it here (safe link). Where on earth does he come up with these metaphors though? Iscariot? Really? Because honestly, y’all are being really damn cheap with me here because I certainly haven’t seen one single wooden nickel, let alone THIRTY benjamins for my efforts in this saga. Harumph!
I’m certain that Billy thinks I’m going to get all angsty about what he posted. Guess what. I’m not. Because it is a fair and accurate depiction of what occurred. At least insofar as what my words were to him. But as to his “commentary?” Well, we all know that Billy is just a little bit touched in the head when he starts putting HIS thoughts in OTHER people’s heads. It usually starts going all sorts of sideways, and he certainly did not disappoint in the slightest.
For example, he didn’t show you what happened the day before he sent his non-apology apology. Nor what was said AFTER the stuff he posted. What happened the day before? Well, it was was a simple mistake on my part. I meant to email gmhowell, requesting permission for stuff. He knew I was shooting him an email. He was probably pretty confused that I hadn’t actually shot him an email because I told him when I did it.
I sent the email. And waited. And waited. Then I went back and checked to see if the email had actually gone through, because, you know, fucking Microsoft. And that’s when I saw it.
I had copied the wrong email address.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! FUUUUUUUCKKKKK! fuck. *headdesk*
Oh well, time to suck it up, Buttercup and put your big girl panties on. And maybe have some fun if he bites at me. But he really can’t be that predictable, now can he? Oh wait. This is Billy we are talking about. M’bad!
And so, promptly upon his waking up, like clockwork, guess who emails me back.
Game is ON motherfucker! Let’s watch the monkey dance!
Step Number 1. Make him think I don’t suspect a damn thing.
Oooooh! I’m in! Like Flynn! Except he probably thinks HE is in. Like Flynn. Dang. Flynn is going to be getting some major action today. LMFAO!
Twas the honest to God truth. I wasn’t inclined to keep it private anymore. So I forwarded the email back to Billy. Sending his email from one address to another. Oh, how I giggled! It pissed my cat off a whole lot and he got up off my lap in a huff.
Notice that I included DEdgren in the email as well as Billy-boy. That was deliberate. I wanted someone else to have documented proof, and I wanted to cozen Billy into thinking I didn’t know what was going on. Guess it worked!
But guess what ELSE I had done in between setting the hook in Billy’s puffy little cheek? That’s right, boys and girls. I posted it to others. Among them, the REAL gmhowell.
Red flag number one! And remember, I knew from the previous night that this particular email thread that was going on was with Bill.
While the rest of the conversation Billy posted went down, others – including every last one one of the ones he was going to be “forwarding the email on to” ever so helpfully were already reading it. And laughing manically.
Oh, and yes, Billy. It’s AMAZING whose e-mail addresses we don’t have. The list that I personally don’t have is long. The list that YOU don’t have is even longer. Sorry. Wasn’t going to fall into that trap. I may have been playing the ingénue (didn’t know I still had it in me! SCORE!) but I wasn’t going to let the big, bad wolf (slug?) eat me.
Anyway, Billy lays it all out, with of course his interpretation of things. Except for one small, but important thing: I actually don’t know of any such plan as what he described.
I know, I know, you are all shocked, SHOCKED to hear that I am an innocent babe in the woods when it comes to this “nefarious plot” that Billy alleges that was cooked up. But such is life, and such is the role us lady pirate zombies are sometimes thrust into. Le sigh!
In essence, Billy couldn’t get blood from a stone if he tried, mainly because he was the one who bled all over the stone in the first place and called it a success!!!!111!!!ELEVENTY!!!!
Me, on the other hand, I just wanted to make him dance. And boy, did I get it.
I signed off, with my Musketeers statement, said I was going to the mall. And gave him a few little “personal” details that I pulled from thin air. Except the divorce thing. Divorce sucks, y’all. Do what you can to avoid it, but if you gotta get divorced, be as kind as you can to each other without letting the other run you over. I’m sure many of you know that, so this is me, choir, preaching, The End.
So, yes indeedy, I did go to the mall. It was the damn Victoria’s Secret Semi Annual sale for fuck’s sake! Bras were to be had! And nightrails! And garterbelts! And… Oh. Sorry!
Then my phone started going off. And who was it, yet again, with an ominous warning.
Oh for fuck’s sake. Whenever Billy gives someone “advice” you know that there is going to be some serious fucktard-ness going on. I wasn’t disappointed.
Oh, Billy. Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. This was supposed to scare me? Really? Terrify me into thinking I had “given it all up?” But how can I give up what I do not have? All I was was a mirror to his plot. One that he has been broadcasting far and wide, hither and yon. I would have been an idiot not to know what he believed and not have been able to play along.
sotto voce: And now, he lines himself up for the dox….
FAIL! ZOMG! HE FAILED YET AGAIN! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
Billy just can’t quit being Billy, now can he?
He’s just so. Damn. Sure. Sure of everything HE knows. In his head. Where the little voices whisper that he is the most MAGNIFICENT HUMAN BEING EVAR! *cough*
Remember that picture I posted the other day?
Yeah, that’s the one. This was Bill. And this was all he heard.
And his misogyny starts to show. Same pattern. Different day.
Whoop! There it is! His threat of last resort. Imma gonna add you to the list! Imma gonna sue you! Imma gonna get charges brought against YOUUUUUUU! THIS is when you know that Billy knows for certain that he has been found out, yet again, as the fool he truly is. And that all we do is laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh!
He starts trying to draw me back into things again. It’s not going to work. I have bras to try on, a child to spoil, and a tasty dinner to make. Even though I know it’s a fool’s errand, I try, yet again, to point out that yeah, he really has nothing. Nothing except the words of his own echo chamber.
He won’t listen though. Because he thinks that he has the ULTIMATE WEAPON!!!11!!!11!!!!!
That’s right. My family. And just who now is supposed to be off limits according to Billy’s rules? That’s right. No. One. Remember that oh ye zombie horde members who are of a more vindictive bent than I am. Families are NEVER off limits to Billy. He proves it time and again and again and again.
I know it’s useless to keep up with the email exchange. Anything else I say will be more “proof” to his weaksauce pudding, and I really don’t feel like getting into the whole “This is the INTERNET you retard. We will LIE to you. WITHOUT COMPUNCTION! And frankly, we don’t give a damn.”
Seeing that I won’t bite back, Billy takes it to another level over at in the comments at Billy Sez. Because he must be reacted to, DAMMIT! I’m supposed to be FLAILING!
Sigh. If you aren’t outraged at what Billy is outraged at, then you are a bad person. Of course. And I’m supposed to defend for forever because he has something to hang over my head. Except he doesn’t. Because there’s no court case against my daughter. Never was. Never will be. So sorry Billy.
Oh, and most importantly? All of you are supposed to HATE ME because I GAVE UP HOGE, PAT and GEORGE. Except I didn’t. And you are supposed to tie me the post and burn me for a witch. Because I’m a traitor! Because Billy has only one track and can’t be swayed from it.
Remember Billy. We can lie to you. Always. Forever. Until you don’t know what is truth or what is false.
Ha, ha, HA! And Motherfucking HAH!