19 thoughts on “OHNOES!!!”

  1. Shopping list:

    Mayo

    Footlongs

    Something (else) that will fit in my ass

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!

    Something for a suffering somebody? Something? Important? Can't remember. Must be something (else) that will fit in my ass. (Look for a 5 lb chub of ground beef. Or a standing rib roast.)

    Pringles. Lots and lots of Pringles

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  2. Pardon the indelicacy, but fuck his stupid podcasts.

    What he needs to do is answer the fucking question:

    Is DUMBFUCK lying about THIS, TOO?

    "THIS" being the fact that DUMBFUCK received that package two months ago (not last Friday) and it contained an ordinary candle (not a "shit-scented" candle—does such a thing even exist?).

    So, DUMBFUCK, let's see some PROOF that this went down like you said it did. A tracking number from the package would get us started, I think.

    Let's say by, oh, 3 PM Hawaii-Aleutian Standard Time?

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    1. To be fair, everything in that streamline dumpster must smell like shit.

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    2. 3 PM has come and gone in the lovely Hawaiian Isles and not a peep from Herr Schmalschwanz regarding the inconsistencies in his delivery tale.

      We are forced to conclude, by DUMBFUCK'S own DOOM CLOCK standards, that DUMBFUCK—lying liar that he is—LIED about receiving that package last Friday while on the phone with the home hospice lady. As we contended, the package was delivered two months ago. We surmise that DUMBFUCK's been sitting on it all this time (hence the shit scent imparted to the candle) waiting for an appropriately whiny moment to claim it had arrived.

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      1. I knew it was a lie when he said he was speaking to the hospice rep.

        Like he would divert money from his more important endeavors.

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      1. Sick-and-twisted fuck is gleefully using his wife's misery for his own demented purposes.

        What a snake.

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  3. We join those who think Bill Schmalfeldt's a liar.

    http://imageshack.com/a/img901/4375/eXYJYk.png

    The evidence is over at Billy Sez!

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  4. If that critter knew even half as much about me as it thinks it does, it would know my attitude towards public transportation. As usual, it lies, even if only by having no fricking clue what it is yammering on about.

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    1. Lack of self awareness is, in some ways, a blessing of a sort. At least to those so lacking.

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