Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 I would too, if I had to dodge fragrant mayo-scented streams of fear pee. 

By the way, I scheduled this post about 11 hours ago.  I’ll bet you Zombies thought I forgot, didn’t you?

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

83 thoughts on “Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. Thought for the day: If you want to lose all of your possessions, just keep doing what Grady is doing. Works every time.— The Liberal Grouch (@GrouchyOldLib) May 2, 2015

    Oh yeah. Your going to take everything of anyone who ever said anything bad about you....

    Where have I heard that before? /rolleyes

    Your schtick is old and busted, you fat sack of shit.

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    1. I just talked to Acme Law. You realize that being a fat sack of shit is a loathsome disease, do you not? And accusing someone of having a loathsome disease is defamation per se.

      What's that you are mumbling about figurative language and opinion and reasonable person? Acme says any reasonable person would conclude from your statement that it is a fact that I am a fat sack of shit. I AM NOT fat. That is a lie and a micro aggression. I am a bit chubby is all. See you in court, and then your duchy will be mine, mine I say.

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    2. This fallacy (delusional thinking) has never happened to an opponent of Bill's. He endlessly predicts such, right before reality and the law smack him in the face and he loses his over-hyped and fantasy case ...

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    3. In order to get a victory, don't you have to first make it past Motion to Dismiss? What's his record of achievement in this area?

      I'll check back in a couple weeks..

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  2. By the way, I scheduled this post about 11 hours ago.

    /Inspector Jiggles on

    Obviously, you were just waiting until you got to work.

    /Inspector Jiggles off

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  3. http://i.imgur.com/tyKap8t.jpg

    "Gail, do you think you could stop dying long enough to take this hugely important LOLsuit to the Post Office? And while you're out, pick up some more footlongs. I need to stay here and obsess on my legion of internet nemeses and I'm gonna need some brain food!"

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    1. I wonder why Bill felt the need to post the five or six comments above the one that offended him?

      Last I checked no one (well, no one except certain approved victim groups, of which Bill is not a member) has the right to never be offended.

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      1. Because the Diminished Capacity Kid is a dipshit of truly remarkable proportions. He really is dumb enough to think that what we have to say about him has any bearing at all on his unwanted contact with WJJH. Unless, of course, he wants to admit that he's the one that sent all the vulgar and harassing comments that were taken out of moderation.

        Nothing - and I mean nothing! - is going to be as delicious as the judge that William has been liberally misquoting for two weeks rip him a new asshole. Which is why he isn't going to show up.

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  4. Today's question: Who is Paul Krendler aka The thinking man's zombie.

    a> Is he who mr. bill says he is in two lawsuits?
    b> Is he who BK says he is in a lawsuit.
    c> Are mr. bill and BK lying in court filing and have no idea who PK is.
    d> Is mr bill delusional.
    e> All of the above

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  5. I wonder, is Team Kimberlin using a distended abdomen to feed the Oedipal Troll their special mayonnaise to bolster up his dumbfuckery?

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  6. I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that Grady might not even need to defend against the lulzsuit, as it is rapidly crumbling under the weight of its own stupidity.

    On the other hand, the counterclaim should be fun.

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    1. I wonder what the Illinois state statute of limitations for interference in contractual relations is? If I were Mr. Grady, I'd be filing that claim in state court in time for it to go to trial in February.

      Ever been to Chicago in February?

      BRRRRRRRRRRRR!

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      1. Wouldn't that require a recharge of a Prius, and thus, an extra night in each direction? Or two airplane seats if he chose to fly?

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      2. If Krendler.. I mean Grady, files a counter claim, won't that mean he is trying to kill Schmalfeldt if he makes him go out in the brutal harsh winter weather with his condition? That's gotta be a tort somewhere, I just know it!

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  7. It was -30 below with the wind chill on February 18th and 19th this winter. What shame if you were to come all that way in the cold and then the courts were shut down due to weather!

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  8. https://twitter.com/GrouchyOldLib/status/594563739061465088

    Me, either!

    To the best of my knowledge, I've never interacted with Mr. Grady. If I had, it was so distant and inconsequential that it completely slipped my mind. That is to say that I have absolutely no inside information about what's going to happen.

    But what if he produced a response that fundamentally undermined William's psychotic contention that he's Krendler?

    After all that's happened in the last week, wouldn't that just be something?

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    1. https://twitter.com/GrouchyOldLib/status/594563568164589568

      You know, just because we've all been lounging about in our "Je Suis Grady" t-shits all week doesn't make the slogan literally true. What anybody other than Grady says couldn't be more irrelevant to the Amazing Lulzsuit of the Diminished Capacity Kid, And so far as I can see, Grady hasn't said a word.

      For example, the Yankees don't get to sue the Red Sox for defamation because one of their fans called A-Rod a pussy.

      One of the great hallmark qualities of the mentally ill is that they can convince themselves of something and believe that they've proven it.

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      1. I think the one where he shows a post of yellowing Mayo the Hutt telling the story of how he was talking to a bunch of friends about how he can't communicate with his company, and then is copied in on an email that does just that.

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      2. That is, by definition, interference with contractual relations. A disinterested third party sending the e-mail actually makes it worse, not better.

        Of course, I'm sure that Justice Jones is going to demonstrate why that's not the case, despite his soliciting and publicizing the email, but he's been awfully quiet about it so far.

        And if Grady isn't Krendler? I somehow doubt that a mere "Oopsie poopsie" will suffice.

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      3. This is, of course, the crux of the matter. I can say all kinds of horrible things about Shakey over at Hogewash, and that has ZILCH to do with John. Just because he has provided a forum and others have used it to mock a vicious, mentally ill troll does not make him culpable. He has never encouraged or directed anyone to say anything to or about Blob.

        BMBS thinks this will be his opportunity to air grievances about the zombie horde, but EVEN IF any of us was actually stalking or harassing him, it has NOTHING to do with his bile directed at John.

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      4. Bill did even worse than interference with contractual relations, he said the email went to the entire legal department. Each separate email will count as a violation of the no contact/no stalking order, so how many people are in the legal department 50, 100 or more?

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    2. Just think bill will have to pony up about $400.00 in the coming weeks.

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        1. I believe it exhibits a pattern of conduct regarding court orders and the seriousness with which their taken. I can't imagine that such SWORN declarations would be excluded from evidence.

          It's also greatly helpful that the judge who presided over William's criminal trial for same will be heating it next week..

          I never used to think that a lack of impulse control could bite you so badly. Live and learn, I suppose.

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        2. I believe it exhibits a pattern of conduct regarding court orders and the seriousness with which their taken. I can’t imagine that such SWORN declarations would be excluded from evidence.
          It’s also greatly helpful that the judge who presided over William’s criminal trial for same will be heating it next week..

          I never used to think that a lack of impulse control could bite you so badly. Live and learn, I suppose.

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  9. By the way, there's something about Captain Oblivious' docketed filing that I don't think he's picked up on yet.

    There isn't going to BE a lulzuit.

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      1. why its not a [REDACTED – Don’t educate the monkey! – PK]

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  10. http://i.imgur.com/3A7Pozf.jpg

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcjzHMhBtf0

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    1. And a couple of dozen pages of riddles and gibberish do not a LAWsuit make.

      A lulzsuit, on the other hand ...

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      1. I haven't seen anything that proves anything. To be sure, there has been no shortage of paranoid fantasies, but no evidence of anything, let alone something as fanciful as a conspiracy.

        That's not entirely true. I saw William state under penalty of perjury that he was contemplating violence against someone with a restraining order against him, which I imagine will make quite the impression in Illinois, in a motion to dismiss, and this coming Friday.

        But proof? Can't say that I have.

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        1. Oh, I had forgotten that that line could make quite the impression on Friday. Certainly more interesting than insane ramblings about buckets of poop from Eastern Europe.

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    2. Isn't this the same sick fuck that said My dick works just fine, as your swollen anal tissues can attest. to a minor male while he was on the clock at NIH? Wonder what the govt would think about paying a pension to a pedo that stalks minor boys on forums while he was on the clock?

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      1. I believe it is. But William's sterling character isn't what kills the lulzsuit.

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      2. Do you think that if it came to court and he brought up his reputation, he could be made to read the screed that got him thrown off Kos?

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        1. There's a difference. McCain hasn't spent five years trying to explain away Rule Five.

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    3. Twitter court is in session and JUSTICE BLOB AM LAW!!!

      Just ask Judge Ellinghaus-Jones!

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      1. Gotta love trying cases on Twitter.

        Apparently someone who is obviously not-Grady, posting as not-Grady on this blog is "burying Grady".

        Apparently nothing that Bill has ever said or written can be brought up by the defense in his suit against Grady, because he's the plaintiff and doesn't have to show anything or prove any of his claims such as the IIED or that sterling character.

        I guess the civil suit where I was on the jury was done completely wrong, because the judge allowed the defense to question the plaintiff's claims. They were even allowed to have expert witnesses to show why the jury shouldn't believe those claims. (By the way, it was a unanimous verdict for the defense after less than 20 minutes deliberation.) But assuming it gets that far (a big if) Bill won't have to let Grady put on a defense, because everyone knows that the plaintiff's claims are accepted as true all the way through the trial.

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  11. We shouldn't be so hard on William. Why, he seems quite the chill dude, sharing bongs with his stepson and whatnot.

    How old was TJ in May of 2008?

    http://i.imgur.com/Satoiv0.jpg

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      1. Then or now? Because mid-twenties minus seven equals ... something less than ideal.

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  12. A federal employee using drugs??

    I wonder if his employers were aware of this? I wonder if they had a policy in place about employees and drug use?

    Oh who cares.

    "I'm Bill Schmlafledt!! I do what I want when I want to who I want! Fuck you!"

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    1. "I stopped smoking a lot in my 20s."

      Wasn't William in the military through a good chunk of his 20s? wasn't that a no-no?

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      1. Neat fact about libel actions, they necessarily make your character an issue. That's doubly true when you're weapons-grade silly enough to suggest that yours is worth over 75 thousand dollars, despite a notable dearth of accomplishments in your life. Krendler once made a funny about Schmalfeldt winning the Buckeye News Hawk Award. Shit, Les Nessman was able to hold down a job for four whole years!

        Assuming William clears the several hurdles he'll need to for this version of the lulzsuit to make it front of a jury (and let's face it, folks of his carriage aren't famous for clearing hurdles), all of it comes into play.

        And this is just what we found in our spare time, looking around for fun and laughs. Imagine what actual lawyers and investigators will find.

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    2. Might this be why he had to resign from the gs-5 job.
      The Navy had a random piss test during the 80's, you where guaranteed to have to pee in the bottle at least once a year. Of course if you where under suspicion your name would be added to the list, or if you had piss off the Master at Arms.

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  13. If Bill's wife is dying, as we have recently been told, has Bill bothered to explain what is so important with John, and whatever he has said, that makes it more important than his wife's life?

    This makes even less sense than anything else he's said.

    If I found out my wife was terminal, I'd unplug my computer and never think of anything written about me again.

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    1. William is operating under the psychopathic delusion that he's suing on behalf of Gail, John, Marilynn and, yes, even the Bobber, too.

      Of course, all of that gets excluded in a heartbeat. Well, no it won't, because it'll never see the inside of a courtroom.

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      1. His pimp hand is too wobbly to be very strong.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4mL1hDcraA

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  14. https://twitter.com/GrouchyOldLib/status/594672500270706688

    I have, Dr. Dementia, and you fail the test.

    This is why I love you so much, William. You blew up something as simple as "diversity of citizenship" less than three months ago, and you still think they should be building a reboot of The Paper Chase around you.

    And finally ...

    https://twitter.com/GrouchyOldLib/status/594673429132906496

    Thanks for playing, laddie. But you're putting a price tag on your "sterling character." The defense assuredly gets to challenge that. Look it up.

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  15. This reminds me of a simpler, more innocent time ...

    http://i.imgur.com/pgILjfx.jpg

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      1. Will the Schmycle remain unbroken
        By and by, Lord, by and by
        Better not keep the Pedo waitin
        In that Prius in my drive....

        *Apologies to The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

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    1. The law is on your side simply because the whole boat shifted to port when you get in and Law didn't have its sear belt fastened and tumbled over there. Sometimes it takes her a while what with being blind and having to carry all that hardware but when she finally gets strapped you'll find out why she carries a sword along with her scale.

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  16. https://twitter.com/GrouchyOldLib/status/594672329315090432

    What are you, 5 years old?

    "Well, HE did it too!"

    No Bill, I'm not talking Hoge here, I'm talking you. What does constantly monitoring what other people are saying about you and then suing them help your wife, who you say is terminal?

    How does she gain anything in what you are doing?

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    1. Typical, Bill gets a question he can't answer, and he runs away.

      So, there are two options here:

      1. Bill is lying about the seriousness of his wife's condition.

      2. He just doesn't care about her as much as he cares about what people are saying about HIM.

      Which says more (well, less) about him?

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      1. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I have no doubt that William loves Gail deeply.

        I just believe his loves his lulzsuits more. Come to think of it, he loves them more than his own life, since when he dropped the first lulzsuit, he said he did so because Dr. Bombay told him it would kill him dead.

        Now he's got two. And he may very well soon be defending more.

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      2. MĂĽnchausen syndrome by proxy.... ICD-10 is F68.12.... Not just for children!

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    2. Does Dr. Blob know something bout Mrs. Hoge's condition that the rest of the planet doesn't? He seems obsessed with a bad prognosis that is entirely a creation of that nasty space in his dick dented head.

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  17. https://twitter.com/GrouchyOldLib/status/594678136777805825

    Again? How well has that worked in all of your other court appearances, William? I understand that they've never even looked at your lovely Feldtcharts. And to think of the hours and special "big boy" paper you put into crafting them.

    As to your profound and comedic interpretation of "intentional infliction of emotional distress", you'll find that's it's incorrect, perhaps distressingly so.

    Who am I kidding? No you won't. This lulzsuit isn't going further than the last one.

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    1. I knew I heard "Hoge will reveal Krendler's identity somewhere before!

      http://i.imgur.com/UD4JTq3.jpg

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  18. https://twitter.com/GrouchyOldLib/status/594673429132906496

    I suppose this why, despite winning a default judgement, your most excellent friend, Boom Boom Kimberlin, was only awarded $100. Because the plaintiffs character isn't at issue.

    Is that your final answer?

    Don't go changing, William. It's the arrogance and stupidity that make you fun!

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  19. http://i.imgur.com/gtW0iNc.jpg

    There's an almost childlike innocence about the fact that you think it'll be that easy that makes me just want to pinch your cheeks, you big, adorable lunatic!

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    1. Its Standard Schmalfeldt level amazing that he can't see the huge logical failure in just these two consecutive statements. He ejust drives straight off the high side of the curve at 100mph and never looks back.

      This is exemplary of his complete logical failures in all endeavors. While logic is deduction and conclusion based on the facts of the matter, one of the "facts" he throws into the mix (with never a hypothetical or testing of it whatsoever) are his assumptions of fact which are nothing even remotely like facts.

      This is why Gail has to drive. He'd set out for the courthouse or post office and end up in Cambodia and blame Yugoslavia for their yogurt flavors in leading him astray.

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