We can do that.
The Incredible Shrinking Woman Who Shall Not Be Named and I were settling down to watch an “On Demand” movie. We were about 10 minutes into the movie when, without warning, I noticed I was…
Now, this is not the sort of thing that you can really do without noticing it unless you are a truly special, unique and talented snowflake such as myself. So I said just about the only thing a person CAN say in a situation like that.
“Guess I shouldn’t have had the refried beans for lunch!”
I shuffled to the bathroom to assess the damage. Let’s just say it was worse than it would have been if I bothered to get away from the computer and take a fucking walk around the block once a week to keep my muscles from atrophying. My headrot eventually realized what my intelligence dispenser was doing and managed to shut off the overshare after only SOME had gotten out.
Unfortunately, some of that overshare made their way up the back of my Depends where they soiled the Internet, my frilly pink dainties and the hot pants I was wearing. My blouse was spared.
I was a MESSY little shitbag.
The preceding excerpt is taken from this safe link, and used here in accordance with the Fair Use Doctrine of United States Copyright Law as practiced by the shitbag who originally authored the post, who had better make sure she’s got fresh diapers on and has this post all properly registered and copyrighted before she says One. Fucking. Word.
And then she can go fuck herself with a Louisville Slugger wrapped in barbed wire. Which will be helpful the next time she needs to blow it out her fat leaking ass.