There Are No Words

…but these:

I may be mistaken, but I believe it was either Ashterah or LibraryGryffon who last remarked that they thought it was impossible for it to be any more stupid.

Whether it was one of you two, or some unmentioned third party, you owe the kitty $50, bringing the total to $16,350.

Somebody’s going to have a hell of a party when it finds a truffle.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

24 thoughts on “There Are No Words”

  1. I think what I said was that everytime I think it's plumbed the veritable depths of stupidity it drags out a jack hammer and some blasting caps to prove me wrong.

    Therefore, while it should be extremely unlikely for it to be stupider than it is at any point, it is working hard, so I will never ever believe it truly impossible for it to get more so.

  2. That's why it's so much easier to just refer to it as The World's Stupidest Man™ 🙂 You'll never be proven wrong.

  3. One of the laws of physics: There is no bottom to Schmalfeldian stupidity.

    On a completely unrelated note, I thought this wouldn't be necessary before Gail took her dirt nap, but perhaps "Boom Boom" Kimberlin should start teaching William how to make Pruno forthwith. It could come in handy.

  4. but these: ...

    You mean Witless Willie was silent?!?! That is probably the wisest thing he has ever done.

    I know: I probably am supposed to look at twitter because the odds are astronomically against him having done something wise, but I don't twitter on principle.

  5. LMFAO! I no longer wonder what depths the stupid monkey can plumb. But I will happily contribute to the kitty. 😛

  6. WOW. Did you see what Shakey admitted over at Hogewash!?!??! He actually said [REDACTED don’t educate the monkey – PK]. I CAN'T WAIT for the Judge to explain MCL section [REDACTED don’t educate the monkey – PK]!!!!! Doesn't he know that carries a mandatory minimum of [REDACTED don’t educate the monkey – PK] in prison!?!?!?

  7. Sorry for being dense. I had seen what certainly appeared to be Bill's comment over at hogewash. I had thought about commenting there, but words had indeed failed me. When even a zombie is left speechless, I do not wonder why I was rendered mute.

    People have been commenting about alcohol. I am not sure that alcohol can explain that level of stupidty. Is there a drug that can simply prevent neurons from firing at all without causing death?

    1. Maybe it's because he had the whole Deep Brain Stimulation thing. It damaged certain connections in his brain.

      Or maybe he is just Bill Schmalfeldt.

      I don't think that I will be embracing "and" in this instance. Just sayin'.

      1. Embrace the And at once and let it's soothing tentacles wrap round you and drain the very essence of mentation from your mind with their pulsing, quivering needle-toothed sucker mouths. Whether you call it Nancy or Gail it will leave you salt and brain wave free so relax and let the suckers do their work.

      2. Guess I kinda went a little HPL on that one, but you have to admit Dumbass does have a certain shoggoth like aspect about him that makes all of us feel as if were trapped in the mountains of madness.

      3. Why, yes. Yes he did, Army Vet. HOW. DO. WE. KNOW?!?

        Because in 2009/2010, Bill "Private Figure" Schmalfeldt stops taking his PD meds, turns on/turns off his DBS at will, AND THEN... *drumroll, please*... records it all and uploads it onto the WorldWideWeb for public consumption. SHOCKER! I know, right?!

        Two words: Open. Book. More words: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

        BS wants to be a "private figure" much like the Kardashians want to be "private figures."

  8. I do have to give William credit for superb timing. After all, if there was going to be a week that Baltimore-area police were going to be tolerant of eccentric lawbreakers, how could it not be this one?


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