Ring. Ring. Ring.
Them: Good Evening! Thank you for calling Joe’s Multiplex. How may we serve you?
Me: Hi! Listen, I know I’m not supposed to be using my cell phone in a movie theater, especially after watching 15 minutes of cute cartoons about how unforgivably rudeit is to ruin others’ moviegoing experience like that. But I’m sitting waaaaay down here in theater 93 WITH SOME FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO BROUGHT A SCREAMING BABY INTO THE OPENING NIGHT OF A PG-13 MOVIE, so if you could maybe send an usher or seven down here to just stare at this INCONSIDERATE PRICK until he takes his child out into the hall, I would be most pleased to put my phone away and enjoy this lovely movie with the rest of this room full of people who dropped ten bucks a pop and for that much money deserve to be able to watch their movie in peace, don’t you think? Thanks a bunch.