Good Morning, DUMBFUCK! Part II

Do you know what I like about DUMBFUCK? It’s that it can’t stop talking about itself – EVER. This means its stories are never straight, its lies compound and catching it out becomes a simple matter of following up with the official paperwork on file with the Federal Government. You know, fed-to-fed.

Ol’ DUMBFUCK loves talking about its career as a journalist, broadcaster, writer-editor and a whole bunch of other crap. It loves talking about its time at XM radio. It loves talking about its time at the National Institute of Health and USDA. It loves talking about its time serving the US Navy – not once, but twice! It loves talking about how it was a GS-13 making $97,000 a year doing podcasts or how it “ran” the TV and radio stations on major warships. DUMBFUCK loves telling those stories because those stories make it look good.

But did you know DUMBFUCK’s federal civil service started WAAAAAAAAY before it was employed by the NIH or the USDA? That it involved DUMBFUCK in a writer-editor position? Did you know it was a GS-5 when it was hired on at this job? That it was for a very important federal entity at a very important location?


We know EVERYTHING ELSE about DUMBFUCK because DUMBFUCK can’t shut up about itself. But we don’t know about this mystery job? Why, DUMBFUCK…why??

Maybe because DUMBFUCK didn’t put it on its LinkedIn resumé and instead made up some bullshit employment to cover the gap filled by the mystery job. (Who is ever gonna follow up, right?)

Maybe because DUMBFUCK refuses to publicly acknowledge it was employed at this particular agency and location. (Yet DUMBFUCK will tell you how it peed himself on its front steps. What does that tell us?)

Maybe because DUMBFUCK was forced to resign for reasons that are quite…embarrassing. (Oh, snap!)

Let’s look at DUMBFUCK’s LinkedIn account and see what it was doing…oh…right after it got out of the Navy:

Bills LinkedIn Profile

Hmm…that’s funny. Why would something who was discharged from the US Navy in San Francisco, CA (Naval Station Treasure Island) in 1985 go all the way to Watertown, Wisconsin to work as a news director for five short months only to come straight back to California to work the next 2 years in rinky-dink media organizations up and down the coast? That’s certainly strange.

But there is a method to DUMBFUCK’s madness…why else would it list being employed as

  • News Director for WTTN/WMLW,
  • Managing Editor of the Coalinga Courier, and
  • City Hall Reporter/Columnist for The Manteca Record

when it was ACTUALLY employed as a GS-5 Writer-Editor for the Public Affairs Office of Naval Air Rework Facility Alameda?

Oh look…here’s the last SF-50 for its time at NARF Alameda:


One must wonder why DUMBFUCK is not so PROUD of this civil service period of its life? Everything it loves is here! The Navy! Journalism! Federal Civil Service! Fed-to-fed! Pretty good work, snagging a GS-05 position right after being discharged from active duty! Why isn’t it proud enough to share THAT with us when it shares every other detail of its miserable dumbfuck life with us?

I’m sure it had NOTHING to do with its being forced to resign from that position for…well…heh…which is why it NEVER, EVER, EVER talks about working for NARF Alameda.

Thankfully other people were willing to talk about it and point us in the right directions to find official fed-to-fed documents.

Just remember folks:

Bills Tweet


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

118 thoughts on “Good Morning, DUMBFUCK! Part II”

      1. You're implying he should be put down. That may constitute a threat. Prepare to be told to take your post down by 6 pm or he'll order you again tomorrow. And the next day..


    I think back to all the IRS employees and VA employees involved in recent scandals who weren't fired either.... just expected to turn in their resignations ASAP.

  2. It's almost cute how it really believed that the only thing we found out about its resume was that it was padded with nonexistent jobs. Just a little more honey in the pot.

    1. Team Dumbass acts like they have a monopoly on intelligence operations and how to run them.

      Which makes you wonder what else will be coming out of recent events?

      1. Well the tweet will come after he sends "precious" to the store to buy a new keyboard and monitor. Methinks the previous ones took one helluva beating around noon EDT.

    1. Heh. He'll claim maladjustment to civilian life due to his PTSD from both 'storming the beach' in Beirut and digging out Marine bodies at the former barracks (then just a pile of rubble) ... Probably the almost same story he told to get cross transferred to being a writer-editor-broadcaster in the Navy and to get the GS-05 job at Alemeda. Eventually the lies catch up to you. before Bill goes off, yeah I lied too, I posed as a retired General and got caught up. The difference is you tried to bury it like a cat burying shit. I've publicly confessed my crimes, I've served my prison time and my supervised release and am a totally free man in ways you cannot imagine (nor could I until after I confessed, accepted responsibility for my actions, repented of my sins, reformed my life and walk the straight way of redemption). Bill could do the same if he had an iota of faith. Bill is a coward because he believes everyone is like him, that no one would forgive him because he cannot find it in himself to forgive others in any real sense. He cannot accept responsibility for his actions because he doesn't believe he has done wrong. He lacks a moral compass.
      If he truly got on his disused kness and sincerely asked God's forgiveness, all this would disappear. Bill is afraid, Bill is scared, bill is a liar and a fool.
      I still pray for his immortal soul.

  3. Gee, wonder why Bill would lie about something like this? I mean, other than the fact that Bill most often lies instead of telling the truth. Bill, what are you ashamed of? Why did you get asked to resign? Why would you hide this marvelous job from the world?

  4. Hello Hello? Dammit is this mike on? "Honey did you let the dogs into the sanctuary today? did they unplug the mike? What's that? Blow it out my what? I have to answer this w, but the mike has no power....

      1. Wait I thought if you didn't respond to accusations in 15 minutes or less then that was tacit admission of guilt?

        I believe we are not at almost 1.5 hours since Paul posted and nary a word from BS..... interesting.

  5. And suddenly, it's "libel" to show that someone was...less than completely forthcoming on its resume. How is that supposed to work, dumbfuck? You had the job. You resigned from the job. There's no allegation you could pin a tort on there, kid. Just a few questions/suppositions as to why you wouldn't be as proud of this job you had to resign from, as you are of the rest of your federal employment.

    Care to share that with us? Remember, we can fact-check that, just like every. thing. else.

    1. Hey.... I recall someone getting pretty huffy-puffy and firing off emails to LinkedIn when it was found that MY (honeypot) LinkedIn resume contained untruths!

      Perhaps some enterprising zombies would want to fire off to LinkedIn with revelations that one BS resume on their site contains employment falsehoods.

      I'm also sure that future employers would love to know about the made up portions of your employment, Billy Boy.

    1. Since it is almost impossible to fire a Federal Civil Service employee, logic suggests that in order to force him to resign they must have had the goods on him.

  6. eh so yet another devastating noon show bringing gods own thunder has evaporated like a Elkridge attempt to get a PO against the man from Palatine

    BTW, why is this blog still here?

  7. "I'm not as good as I used to be... " Let's ignore the facts not in evidence portion (Was he ever "good" at anything? Numerous jobs? Husband many times over? Father/family?) of his tweet, and address the "but then -- who is?" question, shall we?

    WHO is? Um. Pretty much anybody and everybody who desires and commits and diligently works toward continued growth and excellence and reward in education, careers, jobs, salaries, hobbies, health, fitness, faith, relationships, etc., etc., etc. Many individuals actually find themselves being *better* than they used to be. Many people actually endeavor to learn and grow and set goals and succeed and become happier and more well-adjusted and more accomplished.

    Just not big, dumb dopes who are dumber than a box of hair, lazy as the day is long, believe they deserve greatness and reward with no effort, and quit everything they start (See: Schmalfeldt, Bill).


  8. Veeeery interesting, indeed! I have contacts that are still at the Manteca paper. Guess I'm going to be making a phone call....

    1. Whatever paper that is, ask them if the Manteca Record ever actually existed...because it's gone without a trace now.

      1. As I understand it Manteca, CA only ever had "The Manteca Bulletin" (founded as the Irrigation Bulletin in 1908) while the city of Stockton, CA had "The Stockton Record" (founded in 1895).

  9. Judge: This blogpost does not mention you by name, and yet you claim it libels you. Care to explain how? Are you Dumbfuck?

    Dumbfuck: YES! Of course I am.

      1. But, but ... he may have so many opportunities on the lecture circuit!

        Of course, he may have lost his rightful place on the Spanish throne. Who can say, really?

  10. "Don't miss mondays podcast"

    last see wandering down row E trailers 51-61 heading to the van down by the river...

    1. I guess when you hurt so many people in life one or two might have an axe to grind or a box of old papers lying around in storage.

  11. Alameda, you say?

    Right across the bay from San Francisco?

    Where the homosexual nightlife *sizzled* in the 1980s?

    That Alameda?

    Hmm, the Navy took a dim view of such activities in the 1980s, didn't they?

    1. How can he just continually disappoint his fans and followers like that? Bill, some advice: If you let the people know you're going to give them something, you'd best deliver. Otherwise, you risk being derailed on your train to stardom.

      1. To be fair... he is performing in front of a hostile audience.

        And it's kinda hard to follow up an act like the one posted today. It's all about quality material and good timing!

  12. Gee, I was really looking forward to the bombshell Bill was dropping today. But as usual, failure IS his option.

    Page Not Found

    Hey, we feel really bad about this, but whatever you're looking for has moved or has been removed from the server.

    Can't do Blogtalk, can't do Spreaker, and apparently he can't do Podomatic either

    1. But he sure as fuck could get paid $97,000 a year to do podcasts for the government!!

      Incentive and all that.

      1. On Friday's show, William was drunk and red-lighting the microphone. Today, he's drunk and awash in reverb.


      2. That's probably because all he did was sat and read what someone else wrote for him and other people took care of the technical side.

      3. Heh. That sure didn't last long either. So I guess that all the invective and hate Bill has spewed at me for the past three years about lying about federal jobs and federal service (fed-to-fed) has a false dark side since Bill has lied about it since 1986 ... way longer than I did. Yes I lied, I cheated and played the system. I almost illegally profited from those efforts but due to the diligence of the Air Force Office of Special Investigations, I never received a penny, in fact, I lost all the money I personally robbed my retirement accounts to make the deal happen. All gone, along with eight years of my life, my health and many of my constitutional rights. All because I got greedy. I caused it all, I alone am responsible for the situation I am in.
        If Bill would just tell the truth to himself, he could make huge inroads into his self-made predicament.

  13. So, let me get this straight; William got the Incredible Shrinking Woman to file a new lulzsuit that in some ways mirrors his current one, and in other ways directly contradicts it.

    That's screams "Sane, logical legal maneuvering!"

    1. Hey, I was right! Even though she's on her last legs, William had Gail shake her ass over to the post office to mail out the newest lulzsuit!

      I wonder how many pounds she lost on the trip.

  14. Now, William is explaining how his "Lee Strannymahan" parodies are libelous, despite years of arguments to the contrary.

    1. Ahhh, Now he's claiming statute of limitations on the Strannymahan stuff, despite the fact that he last played the "Pussy Palace" bit last week, restarting the statute. I also believe that he cited the Maryland statute, but I don't believe Stranahan lives there.

      William really shouldn't be mixing bathtub gin and anti-depressants. This is the kind of thing that happens when he does.

      1. Misunderstanging the statute, misunderstang the standard of the statute of limitations applies to the latest publication of the recording in question, not the first, and misunderstanding how the law is applied. Perhaps we should call him Mis Schmalfeldt because he "Mis"es just about everything.
        Most days I feel that Bill would benefit from some ECT ... it might de-scramble his logic circuits ...

      2. Makes' you wonder how many times--in a row--he fell off the back of the turnip truck before somebody made him get in the cab.

  15. William M. Schmalfeldt on Friday: Reading off the addresses of Patrick Grady and GM Howell.

    William M. Schmalfeldt today: "You posted my address. Nope, you can't do that."

      1. Sadly, I think he realized that it was a drunken embarrassment, even for him, and deleted it.

        But he did read off the home addresses for you, WJJH and Grady.

  16. I wonder what happens when it's pointed out that William is formally accusing three different people of being Paul Krendler at once.

    How funny is it going to be when he finds out that it's not Patrick Grady? And these soused podcasts are going to be a goldmine to an Illinois prosecutor, should Grady choose to go that route.

    1. I can hear a junior lawyer in the prosecutor office saying, "Dear God, what the fuck did I just listen to?"

  17. Oh, his new lulz against Grady is federal. Wonder where he got the money for the filing fee? Or are we doing the "I'm too poor to sue" schtick that went over so well last time?

      1. so what can happen to someone should they sue someone they mistaken believe is someone else? what type of counter claims/sanctions could said person be looking at if they were so stupid as to do so?
        asking for a friend....

  18. Not only do we have a lulzsuit, it also heralds the return of Paragraph 83!

    There's something about the Federal District Court in Maryland that makes it virtually impossible for him to spell his own name correctly. How good can the honor of name be if the person holding can't refrain from misspelling it?

    And this is the second time he's done it in a year!

      1. Heh. Schmalstaffel?

        Really. Who can't see that bed-wetting, kool-aid chugging, brain-dead, pro-evil leftist in a concentration camp guard uniform?


    I agree! How dare we ask William to lower himself beneath the dignity of someone that has misspelled his own surname in TWO,/em> federal actions in eleven months! That's a goddamned outrage, I tell you. He's right to lord his superiority over us.

    Also, I'm almost certain that U.S civil juries don't find anyone "guilty" of anything. Isn't it shameful that a foreigner knows more about these things than Turbo-Plaintiff does?

    He really is the gift that keeps on giving.


    1. Maybe he was wearing his lucky "Federal Court LOLsuit-writing shirt" which happens to be the only article of clothing he has that doesn't have his name written on it?

  20. On pages 14 and 15, he says “SCHMALFELDT am ridiculed” and “SCHMALFELDT am falsely accused”

    Who know that discount gin and amateur law made for such a hilarious combination? It's like that one time I accidentally dropped my chocolate into somebody's peanut butter. But enough about me.

  21. Isn't it precious how Bill demands that everyone keep their nose out of his business? Think about how totally un-selfaware someone like him would have to be to make a statement like that. He wouldn't be where he is today if he had kept HIS nose out of other peoples business. But as he has taught us, we can demand that he answer any question we ask because we are all journalists now.

  22. I'm sure for someone like Fat Ass, the very idea that friends of a couple of people would stand up for them when an asswipe (like Schmalfeldt is) tries to bully them is a foreign concept.

    so the very idea that as friends of Grady and Krendler, we make it our business to stand up to the cyber bullying-stalking-harasser that IS William Schmalfeldt boggles what's left of his PD demented sewer of a brain.

    so take your own advice their Fat Ass
    STFU and MYOB

  23. "Lemme know if you come up with any other geniusry."
    The Liberal Grouch ‏@GrouchyOldLib 6:51 PM 27 April 2015

    "And seriously. Is Mr. 370-1* someone you wish to take legal advice from?" Patrick needs to READ the complaint, REJECT the advice of retards,
    The Liberal Grouch ‏@GrouchyOldLib 6:54 PM 27 April 2015

    First he asks for help, then, 3 minutes later, he says the advice is from retards?

    What a DUMBFUCK!

  24. William missed an opportunity for a great closer.

    "SCHMALFELDT is so terrorized by this continuing course of conduct that he recently attempted to plead Not Guilty by Reason of Diminished Capacity or Mental Defectin a criminal case against him until it was brought to SCHMALFELDT's attention that he did not know what it meant, thereby proving the mental defect.

    SCHMALFELDT might also be full of discount gin and dumb, but those facts will be disclosed at trial."


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