Good Morning, DUMBFUCK

That’s you, Bill.  I thought I had better be explicit because you’re such a pathetic idiot you might think I wasn’t referring to the demented trailer-dwelling cyber harassing stalker freak from Elkridge, Maryland.

For the rest of the Zombie Horde, this is an open thread for us to discuss him right under his nose and make him dance like a funny little monkey.

For example, what shade do you think his face is turning as he reads this?

  • Pepto Bismol
  • Breast Cancer Awareness
  • Prime Rib, medium well
  • Medium rare
  • Dude, chill…are you having a stroke?
  • Hulk pants purple

I say he’s right at raw hamburger (the 70% crap, not the 85% good stuff) that’s been sitting out for about six hours.

So tell me Bill, because I’ve never tried it – what does mayonnaise mixed with honey taste like when you lick it off your goo-covered little fingers?


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

47 thoughts on “Good Morning, DUMBFUCK”

  1. Any truth to the rumor that the PedoPrius has one of those bumperstickers that says "Gas, grass, or ass; nobody rides for free."?
    I bet Bill even has to bring his own lube, but he probably just grabs a jar of mayo for the road.
    That'd explain his gay porn obsession.

  2. The Mayo'ed one is a dumbfuck as well as a dumbass and dumbshit? I think there is a pattern...

  3. "What shade do you think his face is turning as he reads this?"

    Clown Nose.

    1. The same shade of pink you see in a hot dog. The pasty pink of a raw hot dog, not the shiny tanned pink of a grilled dog.

      Mmmm. Mayo.

      1. Thanks! I do, too! I was inspired late last night by John's "Blognet" post, of course.

        Bet we both know someone who doesn't love it. Heh.

  4. His utter cluelessness regarding those few other... um... let's say "issues" being... um... let's just say "looked into" gives this Zombie great joy.

    He might as well get all of that blissful, carefree rest while he is able. I'm pretty much assuming it won't last.

      1. Word on the street is that will be on the very same day a certain Deranged Cyberstalker's harassment and abuse stops for good.


        1. Take off. Nuke him from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

          Let's face it, even if law enforcement were to ban him from the Internet, Bill doesn't even have Deb Frisch's level of self control. He'd be online within days of the confiscation of his computer equipment.

      2. Oh. And, just a small point of order -- I sincerely doubt BS will find himself getting much rest where he will most likely be spending eternity. Just sayin'.

        Furthermore, just because one doesn't personally believe that Hell even exists... doesn't mean that it doesn't. And, BTW -- What kind of self-professed Christian, and self-professed follower of Christ Jesus, does not believe in the existence of Hell?

        For some reason, the word "heretic" comes to mind. Funny that.

      3. Grace, love you like I do, I have to correct you on one point. It is entirely possible for a true Christian to not believe in the existence of hell. At least the existence of hell that is popular today. Hell is more accurately the lake of fire, not an eternal pit. But then again, being branded a heretic is simply to believe something outside of the mainstream and not necessarily be an apostate. 🙂

      4. Well, ya know I love ya, too, girl. However, to be honest -- I don't necessarily feel corrected because: (1) I don't believe I said anything that was incorrect from a Christian Faith and Biblical standpoint; and, (2) I'm uncertain as to whether you and I are really in disagreement here or not. LOL! I was not referring to any "popular today Hell." In fact, I'm not sure I even understand what that means or to what you refer (if it's regarding your "not an eternal pit" comment, I don't want to take up tons of space addressing it, and listing numerous verses supporting why it may very well be an "eternal pit" from a scripture standpoint, but I'm coming at that possibility from my Biblical interpretation regarding "Hades" and "Sheol" if you're interested).

        "Hell is more accurately the lake of fire." -- I didn't say nor insinuate that it wasn't, Ash. His Word is very clear that Satan and evil men (Revelation 20:10), and unbelievers (Revelation 20:15) are to be sent to the "lake of burning sulfur"/"lake of fire." Now, I understand that some interpreters of the Bible (and, even some believers) understand the "fire" to be allegorical. So be it. I'm not going to choose that hill to die on. The more important truth with respect to the very real existence of Hell is the very real eternal nature of the very real torment. If eternal life is forever, then so is eternal torment for those who refuse to accept/receive His saving grace. This is without question or argument scripturally supported. Fire or no fire (I happen to support the very real fire context based on my interpretation of many verses in both the OT and NT) -- Hell is eternal suffering as it is a rebellious and permanent separation from God.

        As I'm sure you already know (but, maybe Mr. F5 will actually learn a thing or two), Jesus warned about Hell many times (in fact, He made more references to Hell in the NT than he did to Heaven), Peter taught in his ministry that angels and men go to Hell, and as mentioned above, John, too, taught that both Satan (angel) and evil men are to dwell there forever and that Hell is a PLACE of eternal torment. Whatever the context (i.e., fire, demons, "Dante's Inferno," whatnot), and whatever the belief -- the existence of Hell is definitely taught in the Bible. If Christians are called to believe (they are!) that the Bible is God-breathed (HIS Word), and that ALL of it is true... how can a person who professes a Christian Faith deny the scripturally-supported existence of Hell? Those were pretty much my thoughts behind my initial comments.

        I'm awfully wordy here (per always), and that's not what I wanted to do as I don't want to hijack this thread and force it completely off-topic. My bottomline: Hell is very real. Hell is very eternal. And, the existence of Hell is very scripturally supported. A self-professed Christian claiming there's no such thing as Hell not only blows my mind from a Biblical standpoint, but makes me very curious as to the intent behind such a belief (Denial of God's Word? Picking and choosing what one wants to believe? Denying there is God-assured punishment of sin so one can basically do what one wants because one wants to believe one can't/won't be eternally tormented for it?). It simply makes me all *SMDH*

        Lastly (whew, huh? lol!), I'm not in the position to determine if BS is an apostate (has "fallen away") which is why I didn't refer to him as such. But, based on his claims of being a Christian, yet holding a belief that is so very contrary to Christian religious doctrine, I referred to him as a "heretic" (textbook definition). BS's there-is-no-Hell claim does not by itself mean he has forsaken his Christian Faith (his actions do plenty of that), but his claim most certainly dissents from Christian doctrine and Biblical teachings, hence my reference to heresy.

        Again... I think you and I are more on the same page here, Ash, than we're not. Thanks for taking the time to trudge through my lengthy and windy explanations/clarifications. There's no question I wanted to be clear, but I, too, get pretty bored just sitting around and doing laundry. LOL!

    1. Delusions are for the delusional, after all.

      Ya know... he should run with that. Because of course Bill Schmalfeldt knows all. He is apparently privy to everything.

      I'll say it again... BS needs to get himself a new and better crop of "spies" and "trained psyops fols (sic)."

      1. how exactly is holding someone responsible for their own admitted behaviour an attempt to "frame" them??

        Oh yeah Fat Ass Logic, words mean whatever he wants them to, when he wants them to.

        I bet Gail is praying he passes before her so she can shit on his grave.

      2. Attempt to frame him? FRAME ME? What delusions he has. Did he write the email? Yes, yes he did and he trumpeted it from the rooftops HIMSELF! Was that the evidence presented? Yes, yes it was.

        If that is a frame job, I'm a male transsexual.

        1. I think the framing is for the paper mail that Doug asked Lee to send to John or something. Or maybe framing him as a gardening enthusiast by delivering fertilizer to him through the mail. Or framing him as a human being for not taking care of him like they did Ol' Yeller.

          It's Schmalfeldt. Logic and common sense are just fancy college terms he was too busy fucking trannies in the Navy to learn about.

      3. I really love this: in one tweet "Hoge's toothless growling means less than nothing."

        The very next tweet, three minutes later: "Give. The defamatory nature of Hoge's post, I will expect an apology by the end of the day."

        Hey, DUMBFUCK, be sure to let us know then that future moment when you actually expect said apology arrives. We would hate to point and laugh prematurely.


    Isn't that tweet from the same flaming 'tard who has not only filed a LOLsuit (listing Hoge as a defendant), but has explicitly requested a trial? So, what? Does he expect Hoge to be the FOOL-OF-ALL-FOOLS and simply not show up to a scheduled court date?

    Me thinks Ginormo Retardo's "diminished mental capacity" (read: certifiable dumbassery) is in the driver's seat (again!) today.

      1. Oh, I think behind bars might also suffice.

        And though I'm sure he would never, ever say so, in a box like Beatrix Kiddo might also give his lips a tiny upward curl.

        Could just be me, though.

  6. Sociopaths cannot be bothered with things like HONESTY and INTEGRITY and CHARACTER.

    Not that his LOLsuit was going to go anywhere anyhoo, but his numerous admissions against interest -- especially in just the past few days -- will go a long way in further securing that fact.


    1. Outstanding? No, almost certainly in the end far less than outstanding. I was thinking more like "doomed." What worked for Bill on the 16th won't carry any water when he has to prove up his claims, and that's in the highly unlikely event he ever gets that far. The state had the burden of proof in the criminal trial. BS does in his civil litigation, and he is not a particularly sympathetic plaintiff. Poor, poor, pi'ful me will not get him anywhere there, and especially in light of the abundant record of his own past statements, not to mention any new, err... gems he excretes between now and a trial.

      1. Meh, let him waste his money, I'm sure the love of his life won't mind spending what's left of it schlepping paperwork back and forth between the courts/post office.

        Not to mention watching what little money they have be thrown away on bullshit that is going to be dismissed with him getting NOTHING in return.

        while we get to point and laugh and point and laugh over and over again.

        1. 'Nothing' in return? I don't know about that. He may get a complimentary psych eval. And discovery will get him plenty of time to lay out his communications with and participation in 'Team Kimberlin'. The forensic analysis of his computer should prove enlightening.

      2. How much money is he spending recently? He has his LOLsuits, he's started multiple new blogs, I don't imagine his podcast websites are completely free and how much money does it cost to dox someone? Sure, you can plug anybody's name into google, but you have to fork out cash to get the info, unless there are free sites that have that info I'm not aware of.

        All-together, he's spending a lot of money doing, essentially, nothing. Money that isn't going to the person he keeps saying he cares about.

        1. Well what difference, at this point, does it make?

          She's dying for Christ's sake! They should be taking a goddamn Caribbean cruise before it's too late.

          But that would mean missing a listener free podcast, or leaving John Hoge alone for four days and three nights.

          What he loves more...hmm...actions speaking louder than words.

        2. And it's not like he has to cram his fat ass into a plane seat down to Miami. There are plenty of cruises that leave from Baltimore.

      3. Caribbean cruise? There are some things even garbage scows won't take.

    2. His LOLsuit was totally outstanding.

      I have NEVER seen anything that funny before, even on this blog. It was that much FUN!!!

      (Sorry, PK, but you're limited by only eating _living_ brains. Maybe if you get hungry enough to try Bill, do a couple pounds of shrooms first.)

      I'm looking for a word. Rhymes with "vexatious." That means "You, Bill" in Latin...

    3. Say, if Paul Krendler is really Patrick Grady, why hasn't Blob attempted to serve him?

      1. BS is always asserting that legal communications trump court orders. And, he knows without a doubt that PK is PG, right? He's constantly yammering on about it.

        A very pertinent question, indeed, Pablo. Why hasn't BS attempted to served Krendler/Grady? *hmmm*

      2. I do, however, expect much pointing and laughing and pwnage should he attempt something so... so... Schmalfeldtian. Schmalfeldtesque? You know what I mean... stupid.

  7. We have been able to contact the various LBS internet detective characters for their reaction to Mr. Bill's assumption of the role of Interwebz Hall Monitor. Here's what Johnny Atsign, Sergeant Friday, Officer Smith, and the Twitter Town Internet Sheriff had to say …

    Mr. Hoge should tell us where to send the royalty payment.

  8. "Just set up the new cell phone I got Gail. Her hearing is going, and this one has a nice, shrill, loud ring she can actually hear!"

    ...over the farting, grunting, slurping noises emanating from the region of the F5 key, although the occasional screams of "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!" and "KRRREEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNDLLLLEEEEERRRGRRRRRAAAADDDYYYY!!!!" do still deafen her to its ringing.

    (Hi, Cousin Bill. SUCKS to be you.)

    1. It occurs to me how sad it is, that when Cousin Bill does a nice thing for Gail, no matter how minor or mundane, he feels the need to post about it.

      I sat down and did a quick mental tally of all the nice things I've done for my Mrs. Schmalfeldt in the last twenty-four hours.

      Double digits. And not an unusual day, in that regard.

      Think on it, Bill. Instead of tormenting others, focus on being nice to your wife. Turn the computer and cellphone off, and FOCUS on your mate. The response might surprise you.

      1. But, Roy, won't that deprive the berserker rage monster of fuel? His raison d'être would be destroyed. We can already point to the sticky post on this blog as proof that his empty words mean so much less than his empty actions.

        It will kill him to leave us alone, but when Mrs. Diminished Mental Capacity leaves him it will just be one less distraction from the mission.

        Plus, there'll be no one around to stop him from wallowing in his own droppings all day, which he must be looking forward to with gleeful anticipation.


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