Thanks to expanding revenues in 4th quarter 2014, we here at The Thinking Man’s Zombie have decided to bring in two new members of staff. After thorough definition of job requirements and expectations, consultation with top search firms, and an exhaustive interview process, we are pleased to welcome our new staff general counsel, Helen Waite. Helen joins us from LeStat Enterprises, where she served 10 years with distinction in the contracts area, eventually going on to lead that department since 2013. Here at TMZ she will handle the full range of legal needs. She graduated from Mississippi State University, and after a summer vacation to Transylvania, earned her law degree from the University of Maine – Jerusalem’s Lot, taking classes only at night.
Joining us in May will be a brand new hire from Middle Tennessee State University, Miss Helen Hunt (no relation to the actress). She is slated to graduate with a degree in business, and in addition to finishing her classes, she is also the manager of the makeup counter at the local Belk department store. This experience made her an excellent candidate for TMZ, as many of us could benefit from lessons in makeup. Green and gray really suits nobody. Miss Hunt will be our customer service manager.
So if you need someone to speak with about a problem or a complaint here at TMZ, go to Helen Hunt.
And if you have some legal problem you need addressed, go to Helen Waite.
…and if you want better jokes, hit the tip jar.