In light of recent events, I know that many of you out there may be uncertain as to the path we should be taking in response. Is it enough simply to post or comment on various Team Free Speech blogs? Should we be engaged in deeper research of the law, of the factual record and background of these twisted, evil hellspawn, these jealous, petty, narcissistic, anally-obsessed, latent homosexual wannabe scoutmasters, these sociopathic manipulators and exploiters of the weak, the stupid, the ill, the perpetually abused wearers of Irish sunglasses? Should we be considering more active measures?
I think no one should be doing anything actively violent, because that would just be wrong.
But if you want to THINK about it, and maybe even share those graphic, violent, gore-soaked fantasies in the comments, well, there’s nothing really wrong with that, is there, as long as you are sure to point out that this isn’t real, that you would NEVER DO such an evil thing, no matter how attractive and REALISTIC it sounded?
Of course there isn’t! It’s just a perfectly healthy mental exercise.
For example, and this is just me spitballing, riffing on some things I have read previously, but I think that unless someone is actually, physically dragging the Big BM and TDPK and the Rabbit Fucker and the insignificant musical pudknocker whose name no one can be bothered to remember OUT OF THEIR TRAILERS, OFFICES, PARENT’S BASEMENTS OR RATHOLE STUDIO APARTMENTS SMELLING OF FISH GUTS FROM THE CANNERY DOWN THE STREET and BREAKING THEIR KNEES WITH BASEBALL BATS over this, then there is nothing for them to worry about. Words are just words, and they cannot harm you. “Sticks and stones,” as they say.
Or, baseball bats.
And let it NOT be said that the Thinking Man’s Zombie advocates anyone using baseball bats to break the kneecaps of either Mr. Schmalfeldt, Mr. Kimberlin, Mr. Osborne or Mr. Whateverthefuckhisnameis! Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you have it in your mind that if WJJ Hoge III were a friend of yours and some scumbag bomb-throwing, drug-dealing, perjuring, document forging pro se pipsqueak tried to lawfare him into submission, whoever did it (or defends him) DESERVES to have their knees broken with baseball bats, let me dissuade you of that notion here and now.
That is not what baseball bats were made for.
For one thing, a wooden bat could break if it were used on such a neckless and pantsless person. And if you think you can get around that by using an aluminum bat, guess again. An aluminum bat (unless it is reinforced with a lead center) would likely bend under such pressure. Now, I hear the crafty ones out there saying, “Yeah? Well, what if I drill out the center of a WOODEN baseball bat, fill IT with lead, cover the tip with Plastic Wood? Wouldn’t THAT do the job?”
Again, I say, you are wasting your time with all that effort. Tire irons are much more readily available.
And I am NOT saying that Bill Schmalfeldt and Brett Kimberlin and Matt Osborne and Wee Willy What’shisface deserve to be dragged from their tincasas, their offices, their parent’s basements and their rathole studio apartments, out into the street, and thus have their knees broken by ANYTHING, be it a tire iron, or a lead pipe, or a lead-filled baseball bat. Nor should they be taken by a group of four or five (fourteen in the case of Schmalfeldt) strong men (or women) and thrown in front of a moving truck. You would have to consider the emotional damage that would be done to the innocent truck driver, unless the truck driver agrees to be part of your conspiracy in the first place. And a truck might swerve to miss Mr. Schmalfeldt, Mr. Kimberlin, Mr. Osborne and/or Mr…who cares, the driver could lose control, jackknife his trailer and cause a lot of damage to people and property. And if it’s a truck with a hazardous payload, like horseshit, I don’t think I need to tell YOU how severe the environmental damage from such a bio-terror attack would be.
So, NO! Do NOT hit Mr. Schmalfeldt. Mr. Kimberlin, Mr. Osborne or Mr. San de Monkeyvulva with baseball bats or lead pipes or tire irons on their knees, arms, elbows, shins, or any other parts of their bodies. It would be painful and degrading, moreso to you as an outraged, but otherwise law-abiding citizen. It would ruin your life. If the authorities caught you. And if they did, if they pressed charges. I understand in some communities, the authorities tend to turn a blind eye to bullies getting their deserved comeuppance. The entire State of Maryland seems like such a community.
So, let’s leave things as they are. Let Messrs. Schmalfeldt, Kimberlin, Osborne and that other guy FEEL they are being retaliated against in a war of words they started and are being smeared with horse feces being hurled back at them after being first hurled BY them. Let yourself not be dragged down to the Neanderthal level of a Mr. Schmalfeldt or a Mr. Kimberlin or a Mr. Osborne or a Mrs. Wilhomena Sub_normal (or a Mr. Neal Deadbeat Dad Rauhauser or a Mr. Craig Kiddie Porn Gillette) and degrade yourself by using brute force to punish them for their many, many alleged crimes against nature and humanity.
Know that the sternest punishment one can legally employ against such blackguards is the sure and certain knowledge that when they awake in the morning, they will still be…
And let God deal with their sins. As He will. Probably with sores and painful chancres. On their great big testiclefeet. Because they are all, walking, talking, pus-drooling, rotting-from-the-top-down, shuffling human penises.
And you really don’t want risk physical contact with any of that nastiness. So just leave them be. Don’t put up any ads on Craigslist, don’t try to hire a hit man and tell him that the guy you want to have killed is a prosecutor who convicted you for setting bombs or anything like that; all those hit men are FBI informants anyway. Definitely don’t assume you’re smarter than the cops and that you’ll get away with it. You won’t.
Don’t do anything illegal.
Go, monkey, go go go!