Pro Tip

This is how you make predictions.

  1. Bill Schmalfeldt will monkey dance on Wednesday, March 11, 2015.  There will be at least 50 tweets devoted to me, John Hoge and various other Lickspittles.  He will call AReader1 “Tape Worm,” and he will call ArmyVet either “Army Gnat,” “Army Twat” or “Army Cunt,” because he’s so edgy and original.
  2. Bill Schmalfeldt will monkey dance on Thursday, March 12, 2015.  There will be at least 75 tweets devoted to me, John Hoge and various other Lickspittles.  Grace will be a focus, as will Aaron Walker.  Jane will be referred to as Janey Jane, Hatey Jane and Plain Jane – probably in one tweet consisting of nothing but repetitions and variations of her name.  Also, Paul Lemmen will be mocked, because ZERO SELF AWARENESS and demons really only know a few simple tricks.
  3. Bill Schmalfeldt will monkey dance on Friday, March 13, 2015.  This will last from the moment he touches the computer until he receives a phone call approximately 5 minutes after a hearing adjournment sometime between 10 AM and 11 AM EDT.  His “beloved” will leave the house without saying goodbye.  The monkey dance continues, but at a different tempo and to a different tune.  There will be much whining on Twitter about how there is no justice in Maryland.  More than one tweet will note that HOGE NO NEED LAW.  HOGE AM LAW! He will miss lunch because “beloved” did not make him a sandwich before she left, and he will be unable to get to the door to pay for Chinese takeout; also, “beloved” holds the coin purse. Then the Twitter account will go private.  It is an 80% certainty that at some point during the day, the page will be deactivated.  It is a 100% certainty that if it returns, it will return with several dozen tweets flushed down the toilet.  Most of these tweets will have referred to John Hoge having to give up Krendler’s identity under oath. It is also 100% certain that those tweets have already been saved, because The Internet Is Forever.
  4. John Hoge will not give up Krendler’s identity under oath, over oath or in the vicinity of any oath at all, with or without immunity, no matter what anyone offers him.  This is not because he owes Krendler anything or because he feels any obligation to protect Krendler from some evil consequence.  Occam’s Razor has determined the reason already.
  5. Finally, I predict for Team Kimberlin – butthurt.  Lots and lots of butthurt. Bill Schmalfeldt in particular will fail to predict the figurative falling piano above him until the whistling sound becomes too loud to ignore.
  6. As a post-prediction prediction, I say to the Zombie Lickspittles that the weekend forecast calls for FUN!
  7. The seventh prediction is invisible and negates predictions 1-5.

UPDATE – Wednesday monkeydance – CHECK

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

18 thoughts on “Pro Tip”

  1. Dammit, I'm not going to around a computer on Thursday and Friday evenings. I don't want to miss the best feldtdowns!

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    1. Do you have a sadz Kyle? I don't think Biwwwyy wuvs you anymore. 🙁 It was just a summer thing I guess. Sigh!

      LOLZ!

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  2. Is the mayo'ed one going to have another special day today with his crazy predictions?

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  3. "Pro tip -- it's easy to predict shit after shit happens. The talent lies in predicting shit BEFORE shit happens."

    After? Heh.

    BS appears to be solely focused on a few comments regarding him protecting his Twitter account. Oh, well. Yesterday was about so much more than that -- and, even that was predicted. Everything he did and said was predicted well BEFORE he was prompted to start dancing like a rabid monkey.

    His delusional assumption is always that he must be privy to any-and-all information, or it simply didn't happen. And, that horribly misguided belief jumps up and bites him in his ample arse every. single. time.

    BS simply refuses to accept the fact that KREEEEENDLER selects the tune, and chooses the time to play it. Yesterday was a masterful and FUN example.

    Play it again, KREEEEENDLER!

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    1. Yes! This ^^^ exactly, Grace.

      It appears he's also forgotten that he believes we have a sooper sekrit site somewhere that's dedicated to conspiring against his evil. But what's one more forgotten "fact" in an ocean of dementia?

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  4. Those of us who remember playing records no doubt recall instances when the needle would get stuck and continue to play the same note over and over and over and over and...well, you get the idea. Reminds me of more recent activity. Too bad jarring doesn't reset in this case.

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