He's *DONE* Playing Nice?

Given that this assumes he ever played nice in the past, the statement is necessarily FALSE, in the face of all available evidence.

Now, the fisking that follows is predicated on an opinion published here quite recently.  Based on the similarity of the writing style to other available samples, other statements that he has published which overshare about his own wife’s declining health, and the constant, undeniable projection in which he engages, my educated opinion is that the following “anonymous” comment by Westminster Winds  at Breitbart Unmasked (oh HELL NO) was written by Bill Schmalfeldt:

What I want to know is why Hoge is not attending to his cancer stricken wife instead of psychologically molesting a teenage girl? Is his escape from the ravages of cancer to fantasize about teen sex? That is a sad commentary on Mr. Hoge, a well known citizen up here in Westminster. Can you imagine the conversation last night at dinner between Hoge and his wife. “John, please, I am in my last days, I don’t think I am going to make it. Please give me some peace. Please pay attention to me. Get off that computer. Be attentive to my needs. I have given my life to you and you are tormenting me in the twilight of my life with courts, and violent criminals, and your insane theories. You have me living in fear, as you have for years because you created enemies and then brought that home to me. I don’t want enemies. I want peace. I want to get well. And if I don’t get well, at least I want to live my final days without hearing one word about Bill, Brett, Aaron, Robert or Courts. John, I am dying and to be honest, the stress you put me through the past several years is what caused my cancer. I kept my emotions inside. I wondered why you are focusing on external things that have no bearing on our lives when you have me, the woman who is your wife. I will make you a deal, I will do my best to live as long as God allows me, but you have to promise me to walk away from all the chaos you have created. Give me peace in my final days. You owe that to me, John. I am your wife.”

Working from the more-than-reasonable assumption that this comment is Bill Schmalfeldt’s work, and also from the idea that perhaps his wife actually wants to spend her remaining days in the company of a loving, attentive husband without a fucking computer between them, let us juxtapose this brief essay with the possible thoughts expressed by his own ailing spouse:

What I want to know is why Hoge is not attending to his cancer stricken wife instead of psychologically molesting a teenage girl?

Because he’s too busy photoshopping poop into your beard?  Oh, wait.. you do that.  Not John Hoge

Is his escape from the ravages of cancer to fantasize about teen sex?

No, I think it’s probably the anal rape of Boy Scouts that he fantasizes…oh.  Nope.  That’s you again.

That is a sad commentary on Mr. Hoge, a well known citizen up here in Westminster.

Probably not as well as you are known by your fruits all across cyberspace.  Some people might look upon that body of work as evidence of your “sterling reputation.”  In some courtrooms it may be known as “a continuing course of conduct,” and often leads to restraining orders being issued.

Can you imagine the conversation last night at dinner between Hoge and his wife.

I’ll bet it sounded a lot like the conversation which you noted at DaysOfDecrepitude.

“John, please, I am in my last days, I don’t think I am going to make it.

John…Bill…whatever…just leave the wives out of it, right?  Oopsie Poopsie.

Please give me some peace.

Stop blogging about me.  It’s private.  There’s no need to spread my illness, my test results, my weight, my age, my body mass index and every other bit of personal information you know across the internet.  For God’s sake, I’m your wife!  NOT ONE OF YOUR FAILDOXES!

Please pay attention to me.

Instead of incessantly pounding the F5 key on Twitter and Hogewash! and Thinking Man’s Zombie looking for things to wave under my nose and stress me out when I should be healing.

Get off that computer.

Get off the fucking computer and stop ignoring your dying wife.

Be attentive to my needs.

Like my need to bash the fucking computer into little shards of plastic and wire with your rolly walker.  That’s a need I really believe would improve our lives if it were met.

I have given my life to you and you are tormenting me in the twilight of my life with courts, and violent criminals, and your insane theories.

I have given my life to you and you are tormenting me in the twilight of my life with courts, and violent criminals, and your insane theories.

You have me living in fear, as you have for years because you created enemies and then brought that home to me.

You have me living in fear, as you have for years because you created enemies and then brought that home to me.

I don’t want enemies.

I don’t have enemies.  I want to stop hearing your unceasing whining about all the enemies that you would not have if you just had even the most modest portion of self-control. I mean really, what went wrong in your emotional wiring to think this was ever a good idea, and more to the point, that you would ever, from the discomfort of our little tin can, come up with a way to stop people on the internet from doing exactly to you, and by extension me, what you have spent years doing to them?

I want peace.

I want peace, and I’ve come to the realization that the only way I’m going to get it is for one of us to die.  You’re a lot bigger than I am, so it seems that giving up the will to live is simply the most efficient and painless option.

I want to get well.

But only if you are going to pay attention to me.  You have not demonstrated the slightest inclination that you are willing to change your behavior, so what’s the point?

And if I don’t get well, at least I want to live my final days without hearing one word about Bill, Brett, Aaron, Robert or Courts.

And if I don’t get well, at least I want to live my final days without hearing one word about John, Paul, Aaron, Eric, Howard, Grace, Jane, Nancy, Lee, Seth or any of the dozens of other netizens you constantly obsess over.

John, I am dying and to be honest, the stress you put me through the past several years is what caused my cancer. I kept my emotions inside.

Bill, I am dying and to be honest about it, I wish you would stop blogging about it.  I know I’m not going to be able to prevent you live-tweeting from my deathbed the way you did to your mother, but if you really think that John’s wife’s cancer is somehow his fault, you must also accept your responsibility for my condition.  I too have kept my emotions inside, to my great regret.

I wondered why you are focusing on external things that have no bearing on our lives when you have me, the woman who is your wife.

I wondered why you are focusing on attacking the wives of other men, when you should be paying attention to me, when you should be helping me, when you should be loving me, the woman who is your wife, with whom you may only have a few more short months, after which you will be left utterly alone in poverty to continue your online insanity until you finally choke and die on all the poisonous bile within you.  Your enemies will wait, Bill.  I will not.  The only way you will ever be left alone is to destroy that infernal machine and focus on me.  I don’t touch the thing and I can tell that it, and your toxic addiction to whatever happens on the other side of that screen, will be the end of you.

I will make you a deal, I will do my best to live as long as God allows me, but you have to promise me to walk away from all the chaos you have created.

I will make you a deal, I will not leave you alone for a long as God allows me to stay, but you have to promise me  – not to get rid of the computer, for I am more merciful and generous than that – but to rent a storage locker and put the damned thing into it along with your iPad and give me the key.  I will have it returned to you after the funeral.  If you cannot live up to this promise, I will take a cab to the middle of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and throw myself off.  Deal?  Deal.  OK.

Give me peace in my final days.

One way or another.

You owe that to me, John. I am your wife.”

You may not think you owe me that, Bill, but one way or another, I will have it.

Be well.  I won’t.

UPDATE – Bill Spamfeldt says, “I didn’t write that.  So your mockery is wasted. Chump.”

Which is fine. But the fact that he felt sufficiently motivated to comment tells me two things:

  1. Not wasted; and
  2. The Rage Monkey dances
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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

58 thoughts on “He's *DONE* Playing Nice?”

  1. Sadly, the only family he seems concerned about is his own. Or more precisely, only he can say crap about anyone else (including his own family), the rest of the world must say nice things or nothing at all, even when he attacks us, our families, or our friends.

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  2. And to think I thought this was all over with on Friday. Ha ha ha. It's like you guys say, "the gift that keeps on giving.'

    Seriously though, shouldn't this guy be seeing someone for professional help?

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    1. It seems likely to me that the only professional help he would consider would be guys named Vinnie and Knuckles.

      He doesn't see the need to help or improve himself; he is Clearly And Obviously On The Side Of Right And Truth. The only need he perceives is to make his foes (real or imaginary) suffer so that, presumably, his own lot in life won't seem quite so bad.

      It must really suck to be him.

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  3. Why does Bill S. hate his own wife so much? Why can't Bill S. pull himself away from the computer to comfort her in her final years? Why can't Bill S. find compassion in his own heart to stop pushing his family away and attempt to mend broken bonds? Why is Bill S. more concerned with how others may or may not be treating their loved ones stricken by disease?

    Because Bill S. only cares about Bill S.

    Because his family is simply a platform for him to stand atop (old, frail and broken that the platform may be) to accuse, harangue and annoy others. Bill S. cares as much for his family as I do about the ant hill in my front yard... an annoyance that will soon be gone.

    Bill S. does nothing that does not further Bill S. goals and motives. Two ex-wives and six children who either barely or not at all talk to him. Bill S. is the Hurricane Katrina of families... he comes in and wrecks havoc on the lives around him and the best he can do is BLAME OTHERS for what he himself has done. It's never his fault it's outside forces who are to blame... it's his ex-wives to blame... it's his children to blame.

    Yes Bill S. your wife is dying and you would rather have internet flame wars and file pro se cili court cases than spend the remaining time with your wife. While she wastes away due to YOUR neglect (love and compassion) you flail uselessly like the reed against the mountain.

    And I'm sure when your wife passes away you will sit there and bemoan how you didn't spend more time with her. If only there was more time. More time.

    But you are burning all the time you have left int he world by pursuing what YOU, Bill S., think is more important -- things you think are more important than the love you owe your dying wife. How lovely a man you are!

    Bill S. will end up alone in a hospice yelling incoherently at the nurses until he shakes off this mortal coil and moves on.

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    1. How dare any of us assault the quiet dignity of an amateur oncologist who diagnoses his own wife with a terminal illness on a public blog to clearly demonstrate that he's the real victim?

      That's not all. Our William has also withdrawn or had dismissed no fewer than three lulzsuits in the last ten months, making him a make-believe barrister of great renown.

      And a trailer park Renaissance Man such as that has to contend with us?

      There really is no justice.

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  4. DONE playing nice? He hasn't played nice in 55 years or so.

    I wish the absolute worst thing possible on him: self-awareness of what he has become. The first few nights of trying to get some sleep after such a realization will be a torment like nothing he has ever felt. He deserves it.

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    1. I'm crippled and wheelchair-bound thanks to a neurological condition; I've had to give up my house; my odds of ever finding a wife are essentially zero.

      And I still wouldn't trade places with BS, not even if the trade came with a winning lottery ticket brought to me by Hannah Spearritt in a bikini.

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    2. Speaking of self-awareness -- or, lack thereof...

      https://twitter.com/weltschmerz1955/status/577577694935851008

      Paging Bill Matthews, Matthew Lilliefelt, and Lester Klemper!

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  5. I'm really wondering, shouldn't Bill start seeing someone? Just to talk with, figure out where this obsession with Hoge comes from, how to resolve it. As funny as you guys are and even though I've read alot in the past months I think this guy should see a psychiatrist. I'd like to make fun of him but it seems like he needs help.

    Okay, fire away. I know I wrote treason, but I cant be the only one who thinks Bill needs professional help.

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    1. He needs a straitjacket a shock collar and three gallons of Thorazine. But he isn't likely to get that, so the rest of us have to continue giggling at him.

      We're just trying to help the corpulent lunatic, after all.

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    2. Bill does talk to someone(s) about his problems -- William Ferguson, Matt Osborne and Brett Kimberlin.

      That's why he is in the situation he is in today.

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    3. Nothing treasonous here. You are expressing a reasonably popular opinion, that he would benefit mightily from intervention on the mental health front.

      The problem is that he will deny that anything is psychologically wrong with him until the day he dies. He is in a self-sustaining death spiral. He denies he needs help, and lacks anyone whom he respects enough to listen to who will suggest that he does.

      And while he spirals, his pals on TK exploit him for their purposes while reinforcing his self-delusions.

      He'll never get help.

      We can cry for him, but that wears a zombie out. So - and I'm only speaking for myself here - I choose to laugh. It's that or go mad myself.

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    4. I cannot recall a single time that anyone has been fired upon here at TMZ for stating the truth, McBastard.

      Of course Bill Schmalfeldt needs professional, psychiatric help. Many of us Zombies have been encouraging him for a long time now to seek such help. Whereas his "excellent friends" tend to egg him on, and encourage him to do stupid shit that will ultimately result in fail, and ultimately find BS reaping the negative consequences -- many of us (although clearly not fans of BS) have actually tried to help him (many times), and have tried (to no avail) to steer him away from doing stupid shit.

      The biggest barrier to BS receiving help is BS himself. See -- in BS's demented mind... BS is never wrong. Therefore, he is never in need of any assistance. BS's most chronic problem has ALWAYS been, and will ALWAYS be, BS himself.

      His hubris will destroy him -- that's a given.

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      1. Furthermore (based on a quick glance of a dishonest and rambling Twitter timeline), in BS's mind -- anything that is said about him that does not cast him in a positive light comes from a place of hate. Wrong. It's called Truth. Truth that comes from an honest and informed assessment made after watching his behavior and reading his words for years, and reviewing much of his disgusting (and, extremely hateful and odd and unhinged) online behavior over the past decade+.

        See...

        -- Normal and sane people do not aggressively lash out and threaten and abuse others at the smallest of slights.
        -- Normal and sane people do not obsessively harass their fellow human beings.
        -- Normal and sane people do not have five Restraining Orders issued against them (four of which are current).
        -- Normal and sane people do not vexatiously file one butthurt lawsuit after another only to drop them.
        -- Normal and sane people do not relentlessly attack grieving parents, spouses, and children.
        -- Normal and sane people do not have internet flame wars with damn near everyone they have ever ran across online for over a decade, blame everyone else, and entirely dismiss the fact they are the common denominator in all of it.
        -- Normal and sane people do not compose vile blog posts and CD "parodies" discussing the anal rape of adults and children alike.
        -- Normal and sane people do not create blogs (as in more than one) solely to highlight their bowel movements in excruciating detail; complete with pictures of the bowel movements and them sitting on a toilet.
        -- Normal and sane people do not constantly talk about feces and other men's rear ends.
        -- I could go on and on and on and on and on.

        Stating all of this, and being of the (protected) opinion that the person who has done all of this (and, much more!) is in need of serious, mental-health assistance, is not hate. It's truth. Normal and sane people recognize it as truth. People in need of psychiatric help will plug their ears to truth, and not even consider the possibility they need help. They will instead screech "Hate!" and "It's all their fault!" and "They lie! ALL of them!"

        One last point: Using THE. EXACT. SAME. WORDS. someone else has used to describe their wife is NOT making fun of their wife's illness. It is referring to their wife in the EXACT manner, using the EXACT same terminology, the one whining about it has used. A normal and sane person would know this already.

        But, then again -- I'm talking about someone who is in desperate need of a mental-health professional, and is the lying liar of all lying liars. He despises truth.

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      2. GIGGITY or GOO, Howard?

        McBastard, we zombie Lickspittles encourage people to think for themselves, speak their minds, and examine the evidence.

        Clearly, you've done so, and reached your own conclusions.

        Having known Cousin Bill for ~60 years, I can tell you a few things:

        He's always been this way. It may have started out as a few bad habits, repeated daily, or perhaps he truly was dealt a bad hand, and is mentally deficient. At this point, what difference does it make?

        There is no helping him.

        At best, we can limit the splash zone from his antics...

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  6. It's a sad commentary on the humanity of the entire Kriminal Kimberlin Krew (KKK) when they egg on the corpulent pus-filled corruption that once was Bill Schmalfeldt. Long ago, he was just a pathetic example of The Peter Principle, but now he has descended into the nether region of humanity along with other monstrosities that go bump in the night.

    As Doc Holiday once said of Johnny Ringo: "He is angry at having been born!" Likewise with Bill Schmalfeldt.....he rages so; just because he was born!

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    1. Check your premises. Can you be sure of their fundamental humanity?

      http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3460856_700b.jpg

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  7. Let's review, shall we? Upon receiving news that Gail is wasting to death, William consoles her by spending the evening ranting like a retard on Twitter.

    How did I know that was going to be the case?

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    1. Typical Bill.

      https://twitter.com/weltschmerz1955/status/577601682659504128

      "Hey, look at me! Look at me! My "beloved's" bloodwork results were less than perfect, so I blogged about them in great detail, then spewed my bile all over my Twitter timeline, and now I'm holding her hand! Look! Look at me! Look, everybody! Quick! Because everything's all about meeeeeee!"

      Disgusting.

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      1. Maybe because WJJH isn't an exhibitionist asshole that needs to parade mortal illness for sympathy. Or he simply respects her privacy.

        It is more than a little interesting that William is no taking pains to point out that he posted one picture of Gail with her permission. How many did he post without it?

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      2. Hoge's wife doesn't have a "paw." How shameful that BS would view the hand's of his own wife that way. Shameful.

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      3. All of it has been shameful. This latest display is undoubtedly one of his most disgusting.

        Everything from crowing about his wife's illness to paint himself as a victim, and satisfy his demented craving for attention; to him splashing his wife's private medical information all over the internet (complete with a VERY personal picture) all to prove something no one asked about nor questioned; to creating the most pessimistic blog post pretty much writing his wife off as dead already solely to satisfy some sick desire to one-up someone by using his wife's illness; to making a point of letting everyone know he was holding his wife's hand (I mean "paw" because evidently he considers her an animal or something) because he's all about bragging about his useless gestures versus sincerely spending valuable time with his "beloved."

        This has definitely been Typical Bill at his worst. If he wasn't so vile, I'd be embarrassed for him.

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      4. Sorry Grace; the fundamental failure of your argument is the assumption that BS feels shame. BS has no honor, ergo he cannot have shame.

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      5. If anyone thinks I'm abusing my kid,they should be calling the authorities. Of course since they know that their "claims" are intentional lies they won't; they're just doing this to create a false narrative in the hopes of causing damage to their victims.

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  8. https://twitter.com/Weltschmerz1955/status/577607859816513537

    Silly Blob!

    http://i.imgur.com/3ZpJPbW.jpg

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    1. I actually did do that, on the EDBSD comments. He didn't respond in a pertinent manner, just passive-aggressive whiny deflection.

      If we don't know anything about his life, after he has posted about it in excruciating detail, then he must be admitting that he's just been lying the whole time. He doesn't really have PD. Gail [assuming there really even is a person named "Gail Schmalfeldt"] isn't really sick. He doesn't live in that ratty-ass trailer; he never worked for NIH or any of the other places he listed on LinkedIn [especially the newspapers that don't even exist and the right-wing talk radio stations]; he's not even the same guy that worked on xmradio as Broadway Bill.

      He's an utter fake. The weirdest thing about it all, is how hoffifyingly pathetic must his real life be, if that's what he made up?

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      1. That's an awesome part of Being Blob. First, overshare to an excruciating degree. Second, tell everybody who read it that they don't know anything about you.

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      2. We've all tried it at one time or another. The problem is BS isn't interested in a dialogue. All BS wants is to hear himself talk, or read his words in glowing phosphors.

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    2. To the contrary. I know about William's bathroom habits, Japanese sex adventures, the fact that he slept with his brother's girlfriend, even about his daughter's "twat slime." I can say as a matter of certainty that there's no one else on earth that I know such things about.

      In a weird way, that makes us all besties!

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  9. Take THE CURE SHAKEY!!

    If not for the rest of humanity, do it for your "beloved".

    But don't forget to finish that tribute site, first.

    You fucking scumbag.

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  10. Is it just me, or did William seem more depressed about having last month's lulzsuit dismissed than he is about learning that the Incredible Shrinking Woman is about to make her final escape from the trailer?

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  11. Got to the running wolf blog. Wow. This guys dead beacause Bill went after him? I may need a break from this. Its not so funny anymore.

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    1. It never has been play funny, it is tragic funny. Morbid fascination watching a person self-destructing whilst refusing all real help.
      Bill is the walking, talking epitome of malignant asshattery.

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      1. Exactly Padre/Mr. Dead Prez. It is a morbid fascination, but there's also the social responsibility of trying to protect those innocents that he faildoxes.

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    2. What a ridiculous question. No. Malone did not die because Bill went after him. Malone had a pre-existing condition that unfortunately took him at far too young of an age.

      BS then took it upon himself to declare that Malone's death was due to Karma because Malone figured out what BS was all about, and politely challenged him on his lies and bullshit. BS claimed that Malone brought his death upon himself because BS is a raging and reprehensible piece of garbage.

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  12. I'm beginning to see why you people don't like him.

    I just have one question left. Is there a screen cap of the first time Bill went after Hoge? Or was it vice versa? I get that Kimberlen guy sent Bill after Hoge because Hoge was writing about Kim. But is there a place where you can point to and say "thats what started it!" Im reading a lot but can't go back 10 years. Isnt this Hoge obsession relatively new?

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  13. Its three years of the EXACT SAME THING! Gamergate's only got one so far. But Bill went from zero to doxxing to lolsuits in about a minute. every day. For three years. And no end in site.
    At least the Deb Frisch saga had an end, or two. But it had an arc. A beginning, a meteoric middle section and a penultimate end. AND, she's an alki. So it made sense. Sort of. I've seen the beginning of this (thank you Krendler) and it looks exactly like today. Thats fuxxed up. I really did think it was over on Friday. I was waiting to see if this place really would shut down after 30 days. But...

    I get it now. I don't know all the details but I get it now. Fire away, good and normal people. I get the anger and the disgust. WOW! Maybe it doesn't need to be a book after all, but definitely a case study.

    Peace out!

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    1. Embrace the Schmycle. You can pick it up anywhere, but the easiest milestone to start from is:
      Bill seeks attention or the "Know it all Bill" stage.
      Bill gets attention or the "'Focus' rant/meltdown Bill" stage, also known as a Feldtdown.
      My personal favorite Bill suffers butthurt for having either his opinions proven false or his own words fed back to him; this is the "'You're killing me' Bill" stage. it's my favorite because it leads to:
      Bill runs away/goes dark or the "This is my final post" stage, wherein Bill doesn't actually harass anyone. Unfortunately it only lasts for a few hours to maybe three days before...
      Bill seeks attention...
      Lather, rinse repeat; your mileage may vary; not for sale in ID, CA or AK.

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  14. “I will redirect my loathing for these people…”

    – loathing: noun; a feeling of intense dislike or disgust; hatred.

    “…more than I despise Hoge”

    – despise: synonyms detest, hate, loathe, abhor

    Quotes from Mr. I-Do Not-HATE-Anyone.

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    1. The Large One @Weltschmerz1955 2 hours ago
      I will redirect my loathing for these people into love and care for Gail. But I will not be chased off the internet by cowards.

      Says a bigger coward than anyone he attacks, someone so afraid of people who don't agree with him and the cognitive dissonance that it causes, that he has to try to chase them off the internet to protect his own feelings, and when that doesn't work, he has to use big daddy government to try to do it for him. (Protected 1st amendment opinion, no?)

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