32 thoughts on “Bitstrip Bill”

  1. I think he's being given much too much credit in being portrayed as bringing a knife to a gunfight. He'd be much more likely to bring something much less useful... maybe something like... um... maybe a... cat. Wait a sec... he did bring one, didn't he? We just can't see it, amirite? hahahaha

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    1. it would have to be hidden or concealed in some as yet to be revealed fashion.
      Is such a thing possible?
      What would have to happen to bring about such a state of affairs?
      Would the cat be alive or dead? Is Schrodinger around to ask?
      If only we knew of a quantum mechanic who could help us answer such conundrums.

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      1. I dunno, Kyle, but I read somewhere that he got very upset when THE Prince of Parody (may FUN be upon him), wrote something about a turducken-ish entity involving a cat, a trailer, and a cyberstalker. Another admission against interest? You be the judge.

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      3. hahahaha LibraryGryffon - He may have/be a rapier sharp lackwit, but so far he's only cut himself with it; repeatedly and deeply.

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    3. The cartoon should show him holding the knife from the wrong end.

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  2. I thought that he'd bring one of his famous lulzsuits, along with his patented inability to properly serve on anyone outside of Maryland.

    Also, William doesn't seem capable of bringing a knife to a gunfight without Gail or Brett driving him.

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    1. Since Mr. Hoge yesterday responded to William's latest (and supposedly abandoned) lulzsuit, our boy can finally explain why Mr. Johnson was somehow obligated to accept an unsolicited parcel from Gail Schmalfeldt.

      My guess is that "I'm crippled, lazy and not exceptionally bright" won't be an acceptable answer. Nor will "I'm the plaintiff, which I like! Why should I have to look up Tennessee's rules of service?"

      http://i.imgur.com/JEmgX3C.jpg

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      1. Speaking of "not exceptionally bright" --

        https://twitter.com/bloodonthemike/status/579095704100085760

        Did Schmalfeldt violate his ("dying") wife's privacy by NAMING her and identifying her illness, and publishing her HALF-NAKED photo?

        His ignorance and hypocrisy are utterly astounding.

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      2. Hit a nerve. Oh, yes, I did. Somebody didn't like having his hypocrisy shoved back in his face. Heh.

        BTW -- Tis interesting to have suspicions confirmed that BS's "beloved caretaker" is up-to-speed on how her husband spends his time on the Internet. And, if she's so interested in reaching out and engaging the Zombie Lickspittles... one has to wonder why she doesn't get on the Internet herself. Is BS her Rectal Mouthpiece, too?

        https://twitter.com/bloodonthemike/status/579420727880904704

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    2. Also astounding are his feeble attempts to wriggle out of whatever mess he's made, and the evidence of his monstrous nature, which he ridiculously attempts to spin away; managing only to humiliate himself in the process. Again.

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      2. hahahaha Perfect description.

        Well, I must have read your spam queue; it's not like I could possibly "know" how he it acts and what it's likely to do, since I've never met him it, and would never choose to meet it.

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  5. You know what must really suck?

    Being such an obnoxious asshole and destroying the name of William Schmalfledt for all eternity by being a misogynist, hateful piece of garbage. I mean just look at the google search results for the filth that William Schmalfeldt has created for himself. Who in their right mind would ever want to hire someone named William Schmalfelt after seeing his 15+ year path of destruction on the internet? If I saw a resume cross the desk with the name William Schmalfeldt I would burn it and then call security.

    Thank god he is only damaging himself!

    Oh... wait... wait.... we have been informed that the self-immolation online has been carried out by one William Schmalfeldt, SENIOR. Somewhere out there is a William Schmalfeldt, JUNIOR who is paying the price for his fathers constant online fuck ups. Wow... why does William Schmalfeldt Senior keep destroying the name and reputation of William Schmalfeldt? Why does William Schmalfeldt Senior feel the need to salt the earth with his vexatious shenanigans?

    Doesn't he care that his SON is being dragged in to this by poor name choice? Doesn't he care about what this does for the name association to the rest of his extended family?

    WORLD'S NUMBER ONE DAD RIGHT THERE FOLKS!

    (Probably explains why his birthday, Father's Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas are spent eating beans out of a can in a Maryland trailer park)

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    1. Let's strive to be fair, Harkonnen. William's not always in a tin can.

      Sometimes he stays in a hotel.

      http://i.imgur.com/mcvBclx.jpg

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  6. "Grace you ignorant hate-filled slit!" "You ignorant gash."

    William's striving extra-hard to distance himself from those misogyny accusations, isn't he?

    I wonder what he would say if he thought some of us were black ...

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    1. Wasn't A.B. black and female?

      I guess Bill's handlers told him to knock off the racism/misogyny schtick during that kerfuffle. It wouldn't look good to see bastions of Liberal thought (and white male privilege) bashing a black female.

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      1. Kenyan princess with a lovely African-tinged voice, if I recall. Works for NASA in the "Gently Telling the Lunatics and Conspiracy Theorists What They Want to Hear" Department

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    3. "William's striving extra-hard to distance himself from those misogyny accusations, isn't he?

      I wonder what he would say if he thought some of us were black ... "

      Or, homosexual. He's made THAT perfectly clear in the past. Although I'd wager it would be far more harsh where Zombie Lickspittles are concerned. My word! Just review the manner in which he has spoken about his very own homosexual children.

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  8. http://i.imgur.com/f0sSWvY.jpg

    Please note: The picture used in the above meme was posted on Twitter by Bill Schmalfeldt on 3/20/15 at 4:17 PM.

    I actually listened to some of BS's podcast yesterday. What the heck is with the weird stuff he does with his voice? I'm not referring to when he is purposely doing made-up voices. I'm referring to his real voice when he's just talking or reading text.

    I'm sure he thinks it makes him sound like a professional radio host (or, at least what he believes a professional radio host sounds like). But, it doesn't. It sounds ridiculous and phony and forced and exaggerated.

    There are also times when he's forcing those non-stop inflections with his voice that he just sounds like a drunk. And, when he was ranting toward the end of his podcast about D. -- BS actually sounded like an angry drunk.

    Oh. And, did y'all know that a blogtalkradio subscription is $99/month? BS claims all of his "on-air" connection problems (which are numerous *smh*) are BTR's fault, and therefore he is switching his podcast to Spreaker. But, just think... if he wasn't experiencing problems, after his BTR trial period was over the pauper would have ponied up a hundred bucks a month for a podcast that only half-a-dozen Zombie Lickspittles listen to solely for LULZ.

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    1. Here are the tweets for safekeeping! Happy Public Domain!

      http://i.imgur.com/dejtsyf.jpg

      http://i.imgur.com/HvOiOFb.jpg

      http://i.imgur.com/0Ai2jYA.jpg

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      1. He just really doesn't get how ridiculous and ignorant are the things he says and does.

        *SMDH*

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