And if the law orders me not to have contact with someone because it has found my past behavior to be stalkerish and harassing, for fear of jail and without excuse, I would not piss on that person if he was on fire.
But that’s just me, respectin’ the legal laws an’ shit.
Also, if I were writing a self-serving bullshit letter to my political representatives screaming for rescue from a drowning room of fear pee, I might find it wise to mention the OTHER STATES where citizens have also been granted the sorts of restraining orders against me for past behavior also found to be stalkerish and harassing. You know, control the narrative, so to speak, rather than have these politicians risk public excoriation because some fool told them lies of omission.
Here’s my little mental stage play:
Staffer E: Hey, Chief, I just got this email from a guy in Elkridge. He sounds about as mentally organized as a bag of cats, but he may have a point. Should we pass it up to the boss?
Chief of Staff G: Well, just to be safe, let’s Google the guy before we make that call.
Chief G whips out his phone and types while Staffer E and Staffers W, T and F look over his shoulder. As “the Google” responds with pages of results, all Staffers’ jaws drop, eyes bug out.
Staffer W: What…
Staffer T: …the…
Staffer E: …ever-lovin’…
Staffer F: …Fuck!
Chief G: E, burn that email! Delete it from the server, reformat your hard drive. Shut down, remove the hard drive, take it to the auto wreckers and have them demagnetize it with that big fuckin’ magnet they use to pick up cars. Run over it with your car. Six times. No, ten. Put it in a Hefty Bag with 20 lbs of gravel and drop it in the river. Then get a sledgehammer, come back here and destroy that computer. I’ll requisition you a new one.
W, T, and F, you guys head for the basement, there should be an emergency eyewash station in the boiler room. Use it. Then all of you take the rest of the day off and get screaming drunk. Do not ever mention this email in my presence, or the boss’s presence, or I will fire you and kill your dog. If you don’t have a dog, I will buy you one as a going-away gift, wait six weeks for you to bond with it, and then kill it.
I hope I haven’t been unclear. Now, go. Go!