I decided, as I oft-times will, to cut to the chase and decide to go with my ever-churning guts and flaildox the living f*ck out of someone. Just because it’s so much fun. (Editor’s note: And all we have is FUN!)
I just called some poor schmuck at work, and was ever-so polite! We were chatting quite amicably until I mentioned my name and asked if it rang a bell with him. There was a pause, followed by…
I said, “Good. I got your name from these court filings and because I’m the world’s most creepiest stalker who insists on inserting himself into everything just because I can…”
So, here’s what we have so far in my epic quest to be the worst doxxer in history.
In Part One, we told the tale of how Heide Iravani and Britten Heller decided to not just lay there and take their abuse in good spirits, but instead sued several anonymous pigs in a case that became known as the AutoAdmit Suit. I received an anonymous tip last night that suggested I look into the writing style of one of the unmasked anonymous pigs because I like being led around by my nose ring. Just like a pig. Or rather a bull. I’m so very fond of bulls and their large memb… oh wait. Sorry. What I found was disgusting, but all too familiar because I jump to the biggest improbable, yet logical connections, at least to my mind, all the time, especially when I’m being led around by my nose ring.
In Part Two, we (notice how I switched back to the Royal “We”? It’s a literary conceit that I like to use to make myself feel better about myself since my writing basically sucks.) talked about how the abuse Heide and Britten fought was recreated less than a year after the suit was settled by some clod using a variety of handles in his personal war against someone named Deborah Frisch. We alluded to information concerning an ongoing harassment of a young lady who has not yet given us permission to use her name, but that I was willing to doxx just because I was once again led down the garden path by my handlers and Lord knows that I always go where I am led, um, where the EVIDENCE leads.
The writing styles in all these cases of online abuse are remarkably similar to the sort of harassment I have received from “Paul Krendler,” “Leroy Schmalfeldt (formerly known as Leroy Oddswatch), somebody named A.B. who vanished after I outed him as a fake Middle Tenneessee University graduate named Andrew Ballard, and — how could we leave out “Howard Earl”?
Are these five separate people? Or are they one and the same? Because there couldn’t POSSIBLY be more than one person out there who doesn’t like the extortionate tactics that I use to get information out of people, that I use to crawl into their lives where I have no business and that I slime around in just because I want to because it’s the only way I can have any sort of a life.
The person I called this afternoon could have answered that question for me, if he didn’t freak out and hang up as soon as I told him I got his name from court documents; because goodness knows that people don’t want to talk to strangers who look them up out of the blue to ask intrusive questions about something that their lawyers have probably told them not to talk about to others in order to protect their own interests and their ability to defend themselves in the case. And ESPECIALLY to talk to people who they aren’t even involved with and ESPECIALLY when they don’t even know the name of the person calling them.
That person’s name is a matter of public record as a named defendant in the AutoAdmit suit. His name is Mathew C. Ryan (one “t”) of Austin, Texas, not to be confused with the noted and respected attorney, also from Austin, named Matthew C. Ryan (two “t’s” plus four “n’s” and a silent “q” because God only knows how awful it would be if I were to flaildox TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE!!!111!!11ELEVENTY!!!!).
As I wait to see whether or not the judge allows me to continue my suit IFP, I will give Mr. Krendler a chance to explain his bad self. The best explanation would be to shut down his hate blog and salt the earth over it so nothing grows there again. Because OBVIOUSLY he is this Mathew C. Ryan who hung up on me – because who on earth BUT KRENDLER would not want to talk to me? But mostly just because he hung up on me. Or just because I said so. Yeah. That last bit.
Then, when that day comes, I will ask WJJ Hoge III why he does business with people like this, people who I have decided are who they are with no true proof except my say-so, who harass innocent people, women and the disabled – which is TOTALLY not like how I do things. Because you just KNOW that the Stranahans were lying about that dead baby of theirs. I have proof! In my HEAD! But back to Hoge. Does this fulfill some sort of “need to get even” from being bullied in his youth? I have no idea. But I know that what I do is because I need to feel more important than anybody else in the whole world. Because I’m RIGHT DAMMIT! And that trumps everything else.
But I intend to find out.
If you would like to speak to Mr. Ryan, shoot me an e-mail at lordofsatire at gmail dot com, and I’ll hook you up.