Flaildox in Process Number 8935.3 – and I'm Whipping this BOY into Shape, I am!

I decided, as I oft-times will, to cut to the chase and decide to go with my ever-churning guts and flaildox the living f*ck out of someone. Just because it’s so much fun. (Editor’s note: And all we have is FUN!)

I just called some poor schmuck at work, and was ever-so polite! We were chatting quite amicably until I mentioned my name and asked if it rang a bell with him. There was a pause, followed by…

“Uh, no?” 

I said, “Good. I got your name from these court filings and because I’m the world’s most creepiest stalker who insists on inserting himself into everything just because I can…”



So, here’s what we have so far in my epic quest to be the worst doxxer in history.

In Part One, we told the tale of how Heide Iravani and Britten Heller decided to not just lay there and take their abuse in good spirits, but instead sued several anonymous pigs in a case that became known as the AutoAdmit Suit. I received an anonymous tip last night that suggested I look into the writing style of one of the unmasked anonymous pigs because I like being led around by my nose ring. Just like a pig. Or rather a bull. I’m so very fond of bulls and their large memb… oh wait. Sorry. What I found was disgusting, but all too familiar because I jump to the biggest improbable, yet logical connections, at least to my mind, all the time, especially when I’m being led around by my nose ring.

In Part Two, we (notice how I switched back to the Royal “We”? It’s a literary conceit that I like to use to make myself feel better about myself since my writing basically sucks.) talked about how the abuse Heide and Britten fought was recreated less than a year after the suit was settled by some clod using a variety of handles in his personal war against someone named Deborah Frisch. We alluded to information concerning an ongoing harassment of a young lady who has not yet given us permission to use her name, but that I was willing to doxx just because I was once again led down the garden path by my handlers and Lord knows that I always go where I am led, um, where the EVIDENCE leads.

The writing styles in all these cases of online abuse are remarkably similar to the sort of harassment I have received from “Paul Krendler,” “Leroy Schmalfeldt (formerly known as Leroy Oddswatch), somebody named A.B. who vanished after I outed him as a fake Middle Tenneessee University graduate named Andrew Ballard, and — how could we leave out “Howard Earl”?

Are these five separate people? Or are they one and the same? Because there couldn’t POSSIBLY be more than one person out there who doesn’t like the extortionate tactics that I use to get information out of people, that I use to crawl into their lives where I have no business and that I slime around in just because I want to because it’s the only way I can have any sort of a life.

The person I called this afternoon could have answered that question for me, if he didn’t freak out and hang up as soon as I told him I got his name from court documents; because goodness knows that people don’t want to talk to strangers who look them up out of the blue to ask intrusive questions about something that their lawyers have probably told them not to talk about to others in order to protect their own interests and their ability to defend themselves in the case. And ESPECIALLY to talk to people who they aren’t even involved with and ESPECIALLY when they don’t even know the name of the person calling them.

That person’s name is a matter of public record as a named defendant in the AutoAdmit suit. His name is Mathew C. Ryan (one “t”) of Austin, Texas, not to be confused with the noted and respected attorney, also from Austin, named Matthew C. Ryan (two “t’s” plus four “n’s” and a silent “q” because God only knows how awful it would be if I were to flaildox TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE!!!111!!11ELEVENTY!!!!).

As I wait to see whether or not the judge allows me to continue my suit IFP, I will give Mr. Krendler a chance to explain his bad self. The best explanation would be to shut down his hate blog and salt the earth over it so nothing grows there again. Because OBVIOUSLY he is this Mathew C. Ryan who hung up on me – because who on earth BUT KRENDLER would not want to talk to me? But mostly just because he hung up on me. Or just because I said so. Yeah. That last bit.

Then, when that day comes, I will ask WJJ Hoge III why he does business with people like this, people who I have decided are who they are with no true proof except my say-so, who harass innocent people, women and the disabled – which is TOTALLY not like how I do things. Because you just KNOW that the Stranahans were lying about that dead baby of theirs. I have proof! In my HEAD! But back to Hoge. Does this fulfill some sort of “need to get even” from being bullied in his youth? I have no idea. But I know that what I do is because I need to feel more important than anybody else in the whole world. Because I’m RIGHT DAMMIT! And that trumps everything else.
But I intend to find out.

If you would like to speak to Mr. Ryan, shoot me an e-mail at lordofsatire at gmail dot com, and I’ll hook you up.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

51 thoughts on “Flaildox in Process Number 8935.3 – and I'm Whipping this BOY into Shape, I am!”

  1. He compared himself to MLK Jr and Ghandi in a blog post!

    God, this just keeps getting better and better.

  2. I don't even...

    Son, you are disappoint.

    kekekekekekekekekekeek lololololololol !!!111!!!!!!1!!111111!!1elventy!!!!!!11!

    O RLY?

    Oh but you will pet.

    protip: you can't even triforce.


    Submitted for writing analysis to Acme Legal and Meat Packing, LLC.

  3. "Q: Why did Hoge lie about the way the charge was filed?
    A: Because even HE knows it makes him look like a horse's ass to tell the truth!"

    What lie?

    He tells the authorities, provides what evidence he has, they evaluate the evidence against the situation, charges are filed, you get served and/or arrested.

    Again, where is the "lie"?

    1. If he doesn't say that there was a "lie" attached to it, he can't continue the meme that he is a poor, put-upon person who is being wrongfully prosecuted by a vindictive, senile old man. Nevermind that there was no lie, and nevermind that the rest is a fabrication as well. If he says it enough times, it's TRUE, DAMMIT!

  4. "Hoge is a lying sack of shit. And now, he's exposed as a man whose hatred for ME is stronger than his love for his wife."

    Keep pounding that drum, Cousin Bill.

    It won't do any good, but, from appearances, you could use the exercise...

    1. What would you say of a man who knows he's committing crimes, and that he will get caught, but cares so little for his wife that he continues?

      What would you say of that man, Cousin mine?


      1. Indeed, Pablo.

        The tincan will most likely be a better place without him. Well, until this happens: https://thinkingmanszombie.wordpress.com/2015/02/16/teh-twitterz-iz-aliveeleventy111/comment-page-1/#comment-10576

        What a shame that Blob's hatred for HOOOOOOOGE is stronger than his love for his wife.

        What a devoted and caring husband he is to his "beloved." /sarc

  5. "...my dreadful, EVIL e-mail offering to help the wife of the man who has been at my throat for more than two years get FREE HELP from NIH!"

    Why an email, dipshit?

    Why not just post the information on Twitter, on your timeline? You wouldn't have had to even mention Hoge in the posting, and all the "helpful information" would have been available for everyone.

    No, your narrative doesn't fit the observed facts, Cousin Bill, and with your noted proclivity for prevarication...well.

      1. I sure hope so, Neal! If not, I'm certain someone will make the trip to get a copy in person.

        That is/will be a true "don't miss it" event.

  6. https://twitter.com/weltschmerz2015/status/567674518257152005

    Yeah, yeah. You told us all about that last night. As a content provider and JOURNALIST, I feel you should be getting into the guts of the story. There are other things we want to know.

    For example, have you had a good cry about going to the slammer for three months yet? You do know that it's cold in jail, don't you? So very, very cold. And the cuffs sting, especially for a plus-size con.

    Of course, you're just like MLK and Gandhi, except for the fact that neither of them were beaten half to death for talking shit to the wrong person, or had to be the bitch of the Aryan Brotherhood to avoid being shanked the shower.

    You pissed yourself just from getting a summons about 13 months ago. What do you think will happen when they put you in the back of a cruiser?

    Tell us how you feel, Bill

    1. He's very repetitive, you know. As if saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... BAM... Sorry. Had to get off the record skipping!... would actually make it true.

      A true reporter would stop repeating things, and would go out and get NEW things on the subject. Because when you have to keep repeating yourself, that's when you know a story is going nowhere, or that the information you have is untrue or incomplete. Go figure.

    2. Wait 'til he becomes the jailhouse lawyer! Hardened criminals are such a forgiving bunch.


  7. This might be a good time to remind Justice Jones that, since he is formally facing criminal charges, destroying things that could be construed as evidence - such as a Twitter feed with its helpful confession - might not be in his interest.

  8. Just when you thought you couldn't possibly laugh any more, or be more outraged, the adjudicated stalker posts on his blog, expanding on his twit-longer idiocy to include attacks on Mrs. Hoge: https://web.archive.org/web/20150217153459/http://theelkridgeinciter.blogspot.com/2015/02/hoge-dodges-responsibility-for-filing.html

    1. Will the hole ever be deep enough for the adjudicated stalker to think maybe he's dug enough? No, that would be unpossible.

      1. It's important to remember that William's smarter than the rest of us.

        Would he be where he is today otherwise?

    2. About par for the course. I'd give a 5.3/10, with deductions for spelling, grammar, and logical errors.

      Overall, average work, by a below-average talent.

      Neither funny nor stinging.

      1. So what, Roy? You gave him 3 points for showing up and 2 for a family bonus? 😉

        Or did he get those points for being disgustingly sick and twisted enough to think of chewing on dirty underwear, and lacking the filter to prevent writing it in public?

    3. Those whom the Gods would destroy, they first make mad.

      His excuse was going to be his humanitarian concern for Mrs. Hoge. And then he wrote that tripe. Good bye excuse.

      And, as was pointed out above, as satire it's pathetic. Satire requires some relationship to what is being satirized.

      Imprudence coupled to incompetence is the signature style of Witless Willie.

    4. What an evil freak.

      He turned from professing to being sooooooo concerned about Mrs. Hoge, and sooooooo wanting to be of help to the object of his mad obsession Mr. Hoge (to the point the dumbass violated a damn Peace Order -- AGAIN! -- for heaven's sake) to bashing her and writing the most foul things about her it probably gave the demented freak whiplash.

      Lock. Him. Up.

    5. What. Did. I. Just. Read.

      (Jane's, and I use this term in a very limited sense, safe link to a sanitized copy of the blob's writing.)

      My guess? Exhibit 5.

  9. It occurs to me that jail time for BS could be considered "cruel and unusual punishment..."

    ... for anyone forced to be his cellmate.

  10. To those who did NOT go to that link Jane put up, the Schmalfeltian Theater Company script includes references to Mrs. Hoge, her cancer and her back in pain. I couln't read any further. I pray the judge learns what kind of individual he's dealing with.

    Please, somebody take the computer and get him professional (legal/psychiatric) help.

    1. I'm surprisingly okay with William's just being beaten in the hoosegow a bunch.

      Oh, and the wetting himself when they come to cuff him is going to be priceless! If only I knew how to post pictures in WordPress, there's a whole twitter rant about that, saved by Jerry Fletcher!

      1. THIS! I'm okay with all of it, too, Neal. Just not "surprisingly" okay. I have wanted to see this Deranged Cyberstalker and Demented Freak held to account for all of his abusive garbage for a long, long time now. When it finally happens (please, please, please let it include both jail time AND hefty fines -- embracing the power of "and"), I am going to be "PERFECTLY" okay with it.

        Oh. And, as I was recently taught courtesy of a couple of very kind Zombies, if you'd like to post pics in WordPress blogs:

        Go to imgur.com. Upload whichever pic you'd like from your device. Imgur will provide you a link right above the image that you just uploaded. Don't use that link. Go to the drop-down menu on your left (at least that is where it's located when I use imgur to upload images from my iPad), and select Direct Link. Now copy that link. Then pop back over to whichever WordPress blog you'd like to share it, and paste the link into a comment.

        Easy peasy. 🙂

      2. TA-DAAAAA! Spectacular! You are very welcome, Neal.

        Let's recap, shall we?


        "Hey, John. I gotta violate this Peace Order here because I'm such a compassionate, caring, helpful kinda guy."


        "I would step in front of a train for Hoge. I'm a human being."


        "I would shove Hoge out of the way of a moving truck."



        Yeah. It's all perfectly normal. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.


    2. I have a different take, dave.

      I hope to see the demented freak twist in the wind. No professional legal nor psychiatric help whatsoever.

      Just let him keep digging.

  11. His latest blog is another boggler. He want's the peace order statute rewritten to allow online harassment, because he's too stupid to just leave Mr. Hoge alone.

    Somehow, it's the law that's the problem, not his burning need for WJJH's attention.

    1. Sent email to the Baltimore Sun! Now they jump up and investigate bee order of court!ig bad Hoge! "It is conspracy! Old man Bill just try to help poor wife! This travesty! Who cares he disagree order of court! Old man Bill a Hero!" kekeke

      Oh maybe his teammate really like more light shoned on his case!

    2. And, his burning desire just to do whatever the hell he wants.

      It appears that laws and common decency are simply for everyone else in the Land of Deranged Cyberstalkers.


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