Cleaning House

After several weeks of neglect, I finally decided to clean up the comments in my spam queue.  Eighteen pages of mass-marketing garbage, but because I know that once in a while a treasured commenter may throw in a blacklisted word and get caught in the filter, I have to look at everything to make sure nothing is missed.

This time, I found a few choice nuggets in there from unexpected sources.  And I thought we should have a chat about that.

To begin, we must lay down some context.  On Monday February 2nd,  the following soliloquy appeared on Twitter.  Of course there are tweets before it and tweets below, but I find this particular monologue to be self-contained and contextual.  In truth, while what he says here is noteworthy, when he says it is actually more important.

2-5-2015 11-40-51 AM


2-5-2015 11-41-07 AM2-5-2015 11-41-41 AM2-5-2015 11-41-55 AM2-5-2015 11-42-11 AM2-5-2015 11-42-34 AM2-5-2015 11-43-23 AM2-5-2015 11-44-43 AM2-5-2015 11-45-04 AM2-5-2015 11-45-18 AM2-5-2015 11-46-05 AM

So it’s a mini-rant about how put upon the poor victim is.  Boo hoo hoo.   And he, himself no stranger to, um…shall we say, “transformative artwork,” is naturally consumed by butthurt at the very prospect that someone might draw pictures of him, or about him, or that look kind of like him, or that don’t look at all like him, or whatever.

This little rant is once again summed up by the oft-repeated, never-completed pledge to leave Twitter, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

(cue the sad trombone)

All of this is prologue to the spam comments I mentioned.  Here’s the first one (click for embiggenization):

2-5-2015 11-24-29 AM

I know the print is small, so…

Would it be impolitic of me to ask what this comment from the colonel has to do with you, with this blog, or any of your readers, let alone the subject of this post?

No, it would not be impolitic at all.

This “some guy” who died yesterday was a co-worker, a very dear and close friend I’ve known since the early 90s.

Sorry to hear it.

He had a great life and died much too young. And I can’t even tell you his name, because we all know what happens next, right? Your readers start trolling his widow and making her life even more miserable for the sin of being my friend.

Like you did to Lauren Stranahan and her child?  Like you did to the widow of Michael Malone?  Like you threatened to do to LibraryGryffon, Mrs. Stacy McCain and Mrs. Patrick Grady? (Please let me know if I’ve left anyone out – I do so detest inaccuracy.)  That would be an awful shame.  I have never known you to show this kind of wisdom by keeping information of any kind to yourself.  Kudos.

I have written to you privately asking you to cease and desist from this sort of behavior.

Sadly, I did not receive it.  Any emails that contain your name (among other keywords) are deleted.  Pity the WordPress spam filter isn’t quite that strong.

My life, my friends, they are not grist for your blog. You have shown that you are decent enough writer to expound on other topics.

Thank you.  Being called a “decent enough writer” by an untalented hack such as yourself is quite the backhanded compliment.  I would return the favor by noting that sometimes you do manage to get the words to come out in the correct order, and you should be very proud of that.

Please, and I’m asking politely, cease using your blog as a weapon against me and the people I love and the people who love me.

That is indeed polite.  But it is also bad faith.  We have discussed this in many forums, many times and in many and varied levels of emotional discourse.  The simple truth remains:  I will stop doing to you what you do to others when you stop doing to others what you do to others.

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

2-5-2015 11-24-48 AM


I just want you to remember, Paul, I asked nicely.

And in bad faith.

2-5-2015 11-25-28 AM

Get a lot of lawsuits do ya, Cuz?

I’d be more than happy to sue you.

If you existed.

Clearly directed at Roy.  Probably in reply to a comment that didn’t go to spam, because Roy is not of the dickish branch of the Schmalfeldt tree.

2-5-2015 11-25-41 AM

And Krendler? Maybe you could be a little less of a coward and allow me to defend myself from these lies told about me? Huh? That’s a good lad.

Sorry.  That ship sailed a long time ago, remember?  And, oh! how the list of faildoxes has expanded since.

No, you have proved yourself a liar so many times over that there is no credibility in any defense you can present in my court of opinion.  I live in a republic, but I am NOT ONE.  You once were a commenter in good standing at this site but you squandered it, even after being given many a chance to redeem yourself.  Now, you reap the rewards of your folly.  Plus, you sorely lack the requisite contrition and likeability to garner sympathy from me.  Choices → Actions → Consequences → Responsibility.  We’ve talked about that one, too.

2-5-2015 1-35-34 PM

But whose wall did the ram hit?

If the trailer is a’rockin’, don’t bother knockin’!

2-5-2015 11-27-02 AM

Paul, allowing your website to be used by nincompoops to threaten my wife. I tried real hard to think of a more stupid thing you could do? But I couldn’t come up with a thing.

Well, let’s start with putting a period and the end of a question and a question mark at the end of a declarative sentence.

From there we could move on to believing that the slings and arrows you deploy against others are somehow more protected by the First Amendment than those that others deploy against you.

Shooting oneself in the foot (literally, not figuratively).

Touching a hot stove…over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Acting the gun control activist and having your picture taken holding an AR-15 while violating all four of the Cardinal Rules of Gun Safety.

Posting a link to a blog post from a man who is protected from you by a Peace Order.

Sending (or arranging to have sent) to that same person a letter through the U.S. mail.

Eating rat poison.

Driving a car while under the influence of alcohol or narcotics.

Watching MSNBC.

Looking at Barack Obama and saying to yourself, “Now THAT is a great American.”

Pledging to quit Twitter 167 times and failing 167 times.

Now, that’s just a short list of 11 things that are more stupid.  Took me about three minutes to write them all down.  Was that so hard?  And it doesn’t even include any people.  I’m sure I could name a dozen people who fit that mold if given 30 seconds. Why, there’s one name on the tip of my tongue this very second!

Great idea. Let your readers threaten my wife when they don’t even know who I’m suing or any of the details.

Strange.  I don’t recall any threats. Can you give examples?  Did someone post a picture of a dolly with the same name as your wife, next to a two-inch G.I.Joe sniper rifle or a plastic ninja turtle sword or something?  Because I know that’s the sort of thing that frightens you.


Now at this point would have come the reason why the date of the Twitter rant was so important.  Instead of that, I must admit that I had my facts wrong and that as a result the date is not important.  I figured that out because I proofread before I publish.  I’ve written before about how mistakes sometimes get past me anyway.  But not this time.  This time, there is no big reveal, much to my chagrin.

However, I choose to leave the Twitter soliloquy in, because it’s just fun to read and gives me LULZ, and because there is a good possibility it will be deleted at a later date in a fit of wanton, shame-faced cyber-destruction, and the best way to discredit is to yada yada yada.

On to the final comment!


This one is from Wee Willie Winkie!

2-5-2015 11-27-23 AM

Mr. Krendler, in the interests of journalism may I ask what your reaction is to today’s comment by BKWatch on Hogewash suggesting that you are vulnerable and need to be thrown to the wolves?

You most certainly may.  Please proceed.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

36 thoughts on “Cleaning House”

  1. Someone keeps emailing me this? Are you getting the same material?

    2010 Maryland Code
    Subtitle 2 - Obscene Matter
    Section 11-207 - Child pornography.

    § 11-207. Child pornography.

    (a) Prohibited.- A person may not:

    (1) cause, induce, solicit, or knowingly allow a minor to engage as a subject in the production of obscene matter or a visual representation or performance that depicts a minor engaged as a subject in sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct;

    (2) photograph or film a minor engaging in an obscene act, sadomasochistic abuse, or sexual conduct;

    (3) use a computer to depict or describe a minor engaging in an obscene act, sadomasochistic abuse, or sexual conduct;

    (4) knowingly promote, advertise, solicit, distribute, or possess with the intent to distribute any matter, visual representation, or performance:

    (i) that depicts a minor engaged as a subject in sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct; or

    (ii) in a manner that reflects the belief, or that is intended to cause another to believe, that the matter, visual representation, or performance depicts a minor engaged as a subject of sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct; or

    (5) use a computer to knowingly compile, enter, transmit, make, print, publish, reproduce, cause, allow, buy, sell, receive, exchange, or disseminate any notice, statement, advertisement, or minor's name, telephone number, place of residence, physical characteristics, or other descriptive or identifying information for the purpose of engaging in, facilitating, encouraging, offering, or soliciting unlawful sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct of or with a minor.

    (b) Penalty.- A person who violates this section is guilty of a felony and on conviction is subject to:

    (1) for a first violation, imprisonment not exceeding 10 years or a fine not exceeding $25,000 or both; and

    (2) for each subsequent violation, imprisonment not exceeding 20 years or a fine not exceeding $50,000 or both.

    (c) Evidence.-

    (1) (i) This paragraph applies only if the minor's identity is unknown or the minor is outside the jurisdiction of the State.

    (ii) In an action brought under this section, the State is not required to identify or produce testimony from the minor who is depicted in the obscene matter or in any visual representation or performance that depicts the minor engaged as a subject in sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct.

    (2) The trier of fact may determine whether an individual who is depicted in an obscene matter, or any visual representation or performance as the subject in sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct, was a minor by:

    (i) observation of the matter depicting the individual;

    (ii) oral testimony by a witness to the production of the matter, representation, or performance;

    (iii) expert medical testimony; or

    (iv) any other method authorized by an applicable provision of law or rule of evidence.

    its filling up my inbox

      1. His Twitter account is quickly becoming an online Whack-A-Blob game. The trick is to recover from your repulsion quick enough to swing the mallet.

      2. I find it amusing in a way that he only seems to be upset about people telling "vile, filthy lies about disabled people?". So I guess that means it's perfectly okay with him to lie about people who aren't disabled.

        I wonder what his definition of disabled is? He's told some whoppers about me, and I happen to have a state issued handicapped parking tag for my car, which I would think qualifies me as handicapped.

        But we should totally ignore the question of handicapped. No one should tell "vile filthy lies" about anyone, no matter how healthy, phyisically and/or mentally they are. So when is the Big BM going to start campaigning to purge Twitter and the blogosphere of "vile filthy lies" no matter about whom they are told? I'm not going to hold my breath.

        1. As long as he has his handicap as a crutch, he'll never be truly disabled.

          Besides, I hear there's a cure for that now. Howard told me all about it.

  2. "Well, let’s start with putting a period and the end of a question and a question mark at the end of a declarative sentence."

    A thing of beauty, that is!

  3. Why is using a copyrighted photo with out permission?

    1. Because, every single parasite that aligns themselves with the blight that is Team Kimberlin lives by the motto -- "Tis good for me, but not for thee."

      Hypocritical "douchebaggery" at its finest.

  4. I found an interesting post on Aaron's blog from a couple years ago. At that time, BS's favorite targets were Lee Stranahan and his family. Suddenly, out of the blue, BS gets a death threat. Anyone seeing any similarities here? I should say that it was an anonymous death threat, and even though it was anonymous, who did BS blame, without a scintilla of evidence? You guessed it! Lee!

    "Still what do we really know, here? Okay, who wrote it? We have no idea. In fact, I have no reason to believe that Bill Schmalfeldt didn’t write it himself in an effort to garnish sympathy. After all, he is known to impersonate other people online, having falsely pretended to be both Robert Stacy McCain and the Lonely Conservative in different contexts. Now, dear reader, I am not presenting you the proof of that just now, so you will have to bear with me and know that the proof is coming and it is fairly definitive. And of course Neal Rauhauser is famous for his sock-puppets and as they said today on Schmalfeldt’s radio show, Rauhauser and Schmalfeldt are 'buddies.'"

  5. (hushed voice) Well, we're still awaiting the judges' scores for Bill Schmalfeldt's feldtdown yesterday, and I must say the anticipation is as enormous as his ample ass. The viewers will recall Bill tried to finish strong with the world's first attempt at a quadruple faildox, but most of the experts on hand felt Willy blew the landing. His dox of Kirk I Hays was one of the weakest efforst we've seen from him in a long while. I think if he would have just concentrated on his best move, the triple faildox, known far and wide as the "Smelly Willy", and stuck it, he'd be looking at the gold right now......

    Oh, here come the scores:

    United States - 9.5 -- well, I guess the price is right

    Ukraine - 9.8 -- yep, I hear he's popular with the kids over there

    Slovakia - 9.0 -- not surprising, considering the export of "Smelly Willy gear" from that country

    Slovenia -5.7 -- they're still sore having lost the export rights to Slovakia

    Japan - 4.5 -- ugh, I guess the whole "stage incident" still is fresh in their memory

    Wow, bad scores belie a poor effort overall for Bill. That'll drop him into last place. Oh how the mighty have fallen. You know, he's spoken about retirement over and over and over and over recently, but perhaps it's time his starts thinking about it seriously. He's just lost his ability to faildox, and we all know that when you can't faildox, there isn't much you can do.

    Back to you Paul......

  6. "But.... but.... it's satire! It's comedy! COMEDY! I yell you it's comedy! All the big acts do it! SNL, Cheech and Chong, Weird "Al" Yankovic...uh...uh... Ron White... uh that black guy... you know the funny one..... uh.... Eddie Murphy!! They have ALL done this! It's comedy!! Everyone makes these kinds of tapes! Roman Polanski made them! Woody Allen made them! Michael Jackson had boxes full of them! It's all comedy! Satire! No. No!!"

    *sound of handucffs, leg shackles and feet being dragged along cement*

    "Krendler! Tell them! Tell them it was comedy! Krennnnnnnndler!!! Hoggggggggggge!!!!!!!"

  7. Hiya Ferguson!
    Thought I'd leave you a note over here since you and Dumbass are permanent residents here (and totes not the same person *wink*).
    You sure are dredging a good long ways back in my Twitter timeline. Guessing that must also be you compulsively reviewing my blog.
    Guess that explains why you haven't had time to get this done:

    I mean you didn't even have a chance to respond to my demand that pull off this supposedly easy task.
    I wouldn't want to think your words are completely empty and worthless. Heaven forfend.

    Well, wouldn't want to keep you when you have Dumbass's bidding to run off and do. Whatever can it be like to be the owned bitch of total douche. Good luck with that.

    1. Whatever you do, Deiter. No more of that God-awful bottom shelf tecno shit, please.

  8. Copying over from hoge's site here since I don't want dick cheese missing it:

    I’m wondering if the signatures on Bill’s DD-214’s will match also. Well they will be in my mailbox soon enough.

    And I do wonder if the DD-214’s match all the other Navy records that were FOIA’d. Because so far none of those documents are matching what Captain “Butt” Crunch of the Pedo-Navy has been saying… for years apparently. It’s been a LOOOOOOOONG read and I actually had to pay money for documents ($160 for the Navy and DoD FOIA’s amounting to 350+ pages and pictures!) and I think the stamp was $0.49 or so to NPRC for your DD-214 and units of assignment. But damn it all…. Bill’s sea stories (bullsh*t to land lubbers) just seem to fall apart in the face of historical evidence. It’s almost like his natural inclintion is to lie, lie, lie.

    Bill. Bill. Bill…. disability separation? Tsk. Tsk.

    And you say you served on the USS Midway? Really? And in what capacity again? Are you sure? Are you really sure? Are you sure you may not want to walk some…. claims…. back a bit? There’s so many so you might as well start covering your trail…. not that the internet is forever (I love that Barbara Streisand song).

    Beirut? “What’s a FOIA’d operational record from Task Force 61? What’s a FOIA’d manifest for the USS Coronado and the LCU that made the run? What’s a FOIA’d commanders assessment pre- and post- operation? Where was the Marine unit you were assigned to ACTUALLY at during the operation? (I can tell you they for damn sure were not on an LCU headed to Beirut)”

    What do DoD Directive 1308.1 (June 1981), OPNAVINST 6110.1A (1980) and OPNAVINST 6110.1B (1982) have to do with Bill’s military history? Among some other amusing anecdotes…

    Oh I do love following paper trails! And it makes such interesting reading especially when compared to all the stuff you write on the internet about your bullsh*t military adventures. You’re career was a plain jane honorable one… for the most part… but yohave to go shooting your fat mouth off about sh*t and think no one will follow up on. Well someone is following up on it.

    And it’s gonna be a doozy when it hits the screens.

    Fair winds and following seas crotchweasel.

    PS. Before you go whinning to mommy google United States vs. Alvarez it will save you some time banging your fingers against a keyboard uselessly.

    1. There are several very popular milblogs that archive this sort of info. I'm assuming A.B. knows that, but a lot of career-embellishers seem to find it very surprising.

      1. And who is to say A.B. is not a pseudonym for one of the contributors at a popular place that ain't heaven.

        Just saying......

        And Bill... since you are reading this -- get bent, buddy. And see yah at the Big Game!

      2. Exactly. There are several, AJ.

        "Career embellishers" tend to be under the delusion that those who follow-up on cases are simply concerned about "Stolen Valor" if someone lies about serving at all. That is FAR from the reality. Scum who make a point of embellishing their service are most certainly held to account when discovered, and tend to be very sorry they played their disgusting games in the first place.

        Serving is honorable in and of itself (if one has served honorably, of course). Those who feel the need to exaggerate (read: lie) about their service are about as detestable as they come.

      3. Grace and AB:
        I agree with you both most wholeheartedly. As a confessed former military imposter (yes I was in the Air Force and Honorably Discharged in 1974) I am ashamed of my actions and the lies I told. I can never make up for the lies and deceptions that I used. I have earned all the contempt that has been given to me and more because of them. The only difference I see is that I have admitted to those lies and deceptions publicly and frequently and hold myself out as a model of what not to do. I have, as of today, 21 more days until the end of my federal sentence related to these acts and lies. That end of formal censure is not the end of my penance, just the end of the formal censure and punishment. My penance will not end during this lifetime. The straight and narrow road of repentance and redemption is a lifelong road with many pitfalls and only through people like Grace (and many others here) do I remain on this road with fewer and fewer stumbles.
        Thanks to everyone who assists me in this endeavor, may God bless you all.

    2. A.B., did you get his ASVAB scores (or whatever the equivalent was when he enlisted) as part of those FOIA packets? I think they could be very .... enlightening. Or at least wildly amusing.

      1. I'm still waiting on the NPRC records -- they have a turn around time of 4 - 6 weeks. The first letter I got back from them was.... interesting.

        The bonanza will be not only his DD-214 but his NAPERS 1070/605 "History of Assignments." Becuase Bill has a major, major discrepancy in one of his foolish tweets that involves his assignments. And I mean major.

        What I am doing is typing everything out, scanning in documents and making a nice and easy to read and follow .pdf of William M. Schmalfeldt's military career. It will even have pictures and oh what pretty pictures they are! And then the .pdf will be dropboxed and scribd and posted FAR and WIDE. It will be a forever document.

        It will beautiful.

        And right now the draft stands at 26 pages with 58 references. And still more document are coming! It's like Christmas!

        Hell I might even backtrack to Bill's days of working at the NIH just to see if he used some of his stories to land a nice, cushy Federal job. You know like saying you were a combat veteran or had been wounded in action. The types of things that would really give a dejected JO2 a leg up on the outside world. Oh did I say a leg up? I meant veterans preferential points that he may or may not have been entitled to.

        We will just have to wait and see.... won't we Bill?

        That's the beautiful thing about FOIA.... and What Justice Kennedy said in United States vs. Alvarez. Isn't that right, Bill?

    3. Damn, they just had the "Best of Stolen Valor" for the year. Maybe Bill can make it into next years contest?

      1. Howarddearl,

        That will be worked in to the drawing I'm doing for Schmalfeldts Picture Day.

  9. Cross posted at Hoge's place: (Hi, Bill!)


    Did former Sailor William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr. receive veterans preferential points to land cushy GS job at National Institute of Health? How did a former Second Class Petty Officer (E-5) end up with a job working in the NIH and eventually leave as a GS-13 (the equivalent of an O-5/Commander)?

    During his interview process did he mention that he was a combat veteran? That he was involved in combat operations in Beirut? Did he claim 10-point disabled veterans preference despite not having been 100% disabled?

    He would not be the first one to game the system by lying about combat service or injuries to land federal jobs or contracts.

    Are there former colleagues and workers from his NIH days that recall Bill Schmalfeldt talking about combat and being a veteran of combat?

    Stay tuned!


Comments are closed.