Today's Lesson

Here’s the letter:
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Here’s his signature on the Peace Order petition he filed against Patrick Grady.
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Of course, he’s never posted that petition online:
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But that’s a lie.  Almost from the moment he was served with Grady’s Stalking NO CONTACT (hint, hint) Order Summons, he began setting his CBParodyRecords blog and Twitter timeline afire with talk of perjury and making extortionate threats of what awful fates would befall Mr. Grady if he didn’t change his mind.  On November 7, 2014 The Lord High Duke of Cocksnogging filed a petition for a retaliatory Peace Order.

Then he posted that order.  (It’s hidden now…shhhh!)  Fortunately, THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.  Thank you, Wayback Machine

Ta-daaaa!  Also, Fuck You.

Now, let’s compare signatures:
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Conveniently, he can no longer write cursive anymore.  So no two signatures are alike.
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Isn’t that a wonderfully twisted bit of logic? Golly, I wonder what he would have said if the signatures didn’t match?  Wild guess:

THERE’S NO WAY THAT MATCHES!  THAT’S NOT MY SIGNATURE!!11!ELEVENTY!1!1!!!!1

It’s so cool how he could be covered either way, right?

And while the syphilitic catchfart could find the post that John made about that petition…
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…strangely, he couldn’t find https://web.archive.org/web/20141107201824/http://schmalfeldt.org/2014/11/did-i-say-talk-to-you-monday-sorry-i-was-mistaken-ill-talk-to-you-friday/

…so since he can’t remember it, it must never have happened.

But he gave a copy of Hoge’s post (containing his signature) to the judge, thus proving that the signature came from the petition that he signed (under penalty of perjury, no less!), and further proving that the signature on the letter which he sent, which kinda-sorta matched the signature on the petition that he signed, could not possibly have been his signature, because he never signs the same signature twice, so “whoever” “forged” this “fraud” needn’t have bothered with anything more complicated than a W followed by swoosh.  The poor fool!

So anyway, someone has been provided incontrovertible proof of something.   I have no idea what’s been proved, but if the Big BM says it’s proved, it’s proved!  If he says he never posted a Peace Order Petition, by God, he never did!  You can take it to the bank!  He can’t, because it’s cold outside and his shrunken little BBs are buried under the lint and used up gum wrappers in his wife’s coin purse.

But you can!

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

14 thoughts on “Today's Lesson”

  1. Courts are FAAAAAARRRR to lenient on defendants that manufacture false evidence. We would spend far less money on our judicial branch if just the TOTALLY OBVIOUS frauds, forgeries, and perjured testimonies were treated with the unyielding wrath they deserve. Instead, courts allow hysterically and tragically stupid nonsense to enter the record unpunished. There is a reason that Occutards and Boston highway malcontents exist- the courts let them.

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  2. If that's the Big BM's definition of "tracing" I wonder what his idea of a reasonable free hand copy looks like. I mean, I know that when I try to trace things, I always add little extra dips and bumps into the line for authenticity's sake./sarc

    Seriously, the idiot would seem to know nothing about handwriting analysis; those samples are pretty obviously well within what could be a single writer's variance without being any sort of tracing. Equally obviously, a lot more samples of his authentic signature would need to be provided to prove or disprove how similar or non-similar they usually are.

    And the way he's so expertly removed everything except the signature from the PO request, it's hard to see what some of the lines are anyway. A forensic handwriting analyst couldn't make anything from those superimposed samples since so much is missing from the red (pink?) lines.

    Which is all just a very longwinded way of saying that, as we all knew, those superimposed sigs prove nothing, either way.

    I'm sort of amazed that he didn't try a blinking gif, like the TANG memo.

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    1. Nicely done, librarygryffon. If anything at all was proven, even to twitter standards, SchmalFOOL proved it is his signature, and again proved his words, memory, and (what he uses instead of) logic, cannot be relied upon in any context.

      In addition to Paul's great Lesson above, KU nicely demonstrated that in his false claims about this issue which include his "memory loophole" to excuse himself when caught out, SchmalFAIL lied.

      Of course, he regularly proves true that old maxim: If the adjudicated stalker and harasser is typing, he's lying.

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  3. Seaman Slurper wrote and signed the letter.

    Seaman Slurper then mailed or had the Sea Hag mail the letter to John Hoge.

    "She doesn't remember" doesn't mean shit. A bunch of lefts and rights to her poor eye sockets have a way of erasing your live-in servant's memory.

    You fucked up, Shakey. The judge will see that you fucked up.

    Take THE CURE, Shakey. DO IT NOW!!

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    1. BILL SCHMALFELDT IS SUCH A FREAKING LIAR!

      Here's to hoping the judge hands the Deranged Cyberstalker his ass.

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