Well, Here's A Giant Shock

The Tub’o’shit is lying to his law enforcement pals about the tub’o’shit he received!


Quoting: “I am afraid of what I’m going to get in the mail next. I received this last Friday and the shock so affected my Parkinson’s disease symptoms, I lost my balance and bashed my face of the living room floor.”

This is not just a lie, it’s a terrible lie, told by a terrible liar. A proven liar.

Let me show you. My sources are unassailable.

Friday, November 28:
Tub’o pets dog, fall down go boom. Posts photo with psycho face.

Saturday, November 29, 9:25AM:
More details & pictures about the Friday Faceplant.

Then, at 11:23 AM, about 13 hours after the Friday Faceplant, the subject abruptly turns…


Now, right about midday, suddenly it’s Horseshit Saturday.

Faceplant Friday before Horseshit Saturday.

But like always, the truth doesn’t make Tub’o look like ENOUGH of a victim. So he needs to enhance his tale of woe. Like always.

Such a narcissist. A lying narcissist. A proven, terrible, lying, narcissist with mayonnaise breath.


48 thoughts on “Well, Here's A Giant Shock”

  1. Good grief. Blob even re-told the whole "I pet the dog, and went BOOM!" soap opera on his latest @CabinBoyBilly Twitter account after he flushed his @CBParodyRecords account.


    Lying POS.

  2. It was helpful of him to provide a link to this blog so that law enforcement can see for themselves his previous admissions and accusations.

  3. This may be the most hilarious thing of all...

    He's got his little RSS Feed Scraper plug-in set to grab every post that goes up here and re-publish it over there.

    So this post proving him a lying Tub'o'shit is sitting right up top like a confession right now. With pictures and everything.

    I wonder what other FUN things I can think of to post on his blog?

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is Tub'o.

    1. His autoscrape adds a new dimension to Stacy's adage of quoting him.

      All you have to do to discredit BS is to let him discredit himself with autoscrape.

  4. Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@CabinBoyBilly 16h
    ...want about me, but leave Gail out of it because you are not even human being enough to say her name. Am I clear? Stop threatening her.
    3:53 PM - 5 Dec 2014 · Details

    Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@CabinBoyBilly 16h16 hours ago
    ...and you are the personification of crawling filth. Mention my wife again, I will make you my personal business. Say whatever you...

    Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@CabinBoyBilly 16h16 hours ago
    Ever. Howie. Are we clear? You are to never mention her again, on Twitter, on a blog, or in any other forum. She is the most decent human,

    Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@CabinBoyBilly 16h16 hours ago
    Here's the thing, Howie. You don't mention my wife again. Just don't. No "Sea Hag," no "Skeletor" no "Captive Nurse." You do not mention her

    I'm good with that idea, but I still want to know if you gave her cancer.
    While some may have doubts about the validity of your PD claims (despite your copying someones brain pics), there is no doubt she had herself a whopping bout of of the big C. Glad to see she made it through by the way.

    You never answered the question of "did you do anything to give her cancer?"
    snitch a radiation source out of NIH for a little midnight moonglow application?
    scrape a few dozen smoke detectors for some magic dust?
    drive her to chain smoke?

    Its okay if you don't answer cause that means you did it. At least it does in your bloated neck of the woods. At least if you do answer it will winnow down some of the open questions about how and when.

    gotta hand it to you, this journomalism thing is fun, just don't be slow on the response. wouldn't want to have to call the guys with geiger counters and moon suits because we have unanswered questions about unaccounted for hot spots.

    1. Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@CabinBoyBilly 11m11 minutes ago
      I do wish the felon Kyle Kiernan would have a nice, soothing, cerebral vascular accident.

      Why don't you wish in one hand and ...ah, I see that you already have. Well, anyway see which one fills up first. These homely little phrases of common place wisdom would go better if you didn't preempt them with your little grotesqueries.

      I see that you have made no denial, merely a threat. Therefore by your own long established precedent this is an admission of guilt. How could you do that terrible thing to that nice lady, you monster!?

      As long a I have your attention I'd like to note that you are still leaning on that old faildox chestnut of "felon". I enjoy it when you continue to demonstrate your fails once again for all to see.
      If you truly believe your correct discovery of my identity I invite and challenge you to send me a letter at the address and identity you believe to be me. Include every vituperation and disgusting comment you like. I formally promise and swear on any source of sanctity you care to name that if that letter arrives at my mailbox/address/place-where-I-be I will post it as a scan and text transcript on my blog and twitter without change or comment. I will help you tell the world exactly what you think of me. Be sure to include your return address on the envelope.

      Or do you need me to send you an email with my real name and real address before a degraded skinsack of protoplasm like you can scrape up the guts to do something other than honk about it?

  5. Willy must actually think that when he deletes his Twitter feed, all the tweets are officially deleted. There is no other explanation for this monster dick-tramp.

    I didn't think it would be possible, but I'm speechless! He really is more stupid than ANYBODY thought.

    1. Yep:


      I wonder if he'll send another email?

      And considering how "sure" he was that EPJW sent the poop only a couple of days ago, how is he so "sure" someone who he isn't even "sure" exists sent it now?

      1. He continued to say it was the collective harassment which made him fall. A few days ago he fell while petting his dog. Assuming that's not a euphemism for something disgusting, I think the poop was unrelated. Since he fell before the poop arrived.

        Is it OK now to file false reports? I've lost track.

      2. Do you mean...

        Will Bill Schmalfeldt send another email to OWN UP TO and CORRECT THE LIE he told to a law enforcement officer, and a Maryland State's Attorney's Office staff member, Perry?

        Yeah. About that... I wouldn't hold my breath, my friend.

        Bill Schmalfeldt is such a demented and habitual liar. Even if he was confused about the DAY he fell (Friday/Saturday. 28th/29th.), there is NO WAY he became confused about the reason and the cause behind his fall.

        Anyone know what the consequences are for WILLFULLY providing false information (read: LIES) to law enforcement in one's quest to urge them to open an investigation on a particular individual one has deemed an online foe, and has REPEATEDLY declared as being on a hell-bent mission to destroy?

        Sure would be interesting if the good officer and Mr. Kirwan were made aware of Bill Schmalfeldt's latest episode of using law enforcement, AND the Maryland Judicial System, to attempt to punish his self-created, online enemies. *hmmm*

        I don't see this ending well for The Elkridge Horror.

  6. Stupid, stupid man:


    No Willy, that is exactly what your hand-picked experts told you:

    It would be difficult to prosecute someone from Slovakia. There are laws prohibiting individuals from sending offensive materials. My advice is to get over it try not to have any further communications with this individual.

    It is unlikely any prosecutor, state or federal, would agree to prosecute this case even if there were laws broken. The courts are full of rapes, murders, burglaries, and other serious offenses. No prosecutor will choose to use the scarce resources of the court to get involved in your private dispute.

    And that was even lying to them about the real circumstances!

    1. "... EVEN IF there were laws broken."

      Which there were not. Oops.

      And, yes, Perry. That is the type of legal advice that Bill Schmalfeldt received after lying about the entire situation, and omitting numerous details and facts.*

      *No one paid to have horse SHIT shipped to The Elkridge Horror's tincan. Blob received manure/fertilizer in the form of a gag gift. Period. Dot. End of sentence.

      The demented and habitual LIAR strikes again. #FAIL

  7. Anyone else notice Willy has a peculiar style of tweet when he can't really answer a question yet feels the need to respond?


    "Duh", indeed.

  8. Love his belief that because cops talk to you, you must tell them every little thing they ask. Fairly typical of the usual leftists totalitarian dream world.

  9. William's now arguing that he has the right to edit the copyrighted material that he's stealing scraping from this blog? That's an interesting theory. Very interesting.


  10. The only thing that could possibly be better than William's thinking that anyone in an official capacity cares about the Mystery of the International Poop, it's his belief that they're re litigate his idiotic copyright case to do it.

    The day that anyone could argue that William isn't certifiably, diagnosably bonkers is over. The man is a lunatic and so morally crooked that he can't stand up straight. Moreover, he is to the practice of law what Bill Cosby is to a first date.

    1. I just read his latest droppings and came to the same conclusion. If he thinks his old "I hate to see anything happen to you, just tell me what I should already know and nothing will happen to you" is really going to work now, after all his ravings the past 2 years, there's something seriously wrong with him.

      Bill, you may have hurt yourself more seriously than you think when you hit your head, now I'm being serious here for one minute; have yourself checked by a doctor. Seriously.

      (my medical conscience is clear)

  11. https://twitter.com/CabinBoyBilly/status/541296560014118912

    We all know "for a fact" who sent horsepoop to your house. A company in Slovenia did. No ranting and raving, bluster or empty threatening promises can change that.

    But don't let me stop you from dancing.

    1. As a sane person, I see a problem with William's understandings that he, as an obvious lunatic, doesn't.

      The way that the mysterious poo was shipped may in fact be illegal, although there's little chance that the United States extradites anyone from Slovakia for it. But i doesn't necessarily follow that whoever sent it knew, or even had a duty to know, the means of shipment or whether they conformed with US standards of delivery.

      Bill is working himself into quite a lather, which is strange. I was given to understand that those people were supposed to be jolly.

    2. Where is Bill Schmalfeldt's PROOF that any one of us KNOWS WITH 100% CERTAINTY the identity of the individual who paid to have a company in Slovenia ship MANURE/FERTILIZER to a demented freak in a tincan in Elkridge, Maryland?

      Let's review a few facts and details, shall we?

      1) BILL SCHMALFELDT flushed his @CBParodyRecords Twitter account immediately on the heels of spending hours-upon-hours squealing about receiving the gag gift, and issuing every threat imaginable to members of Team Lickspittle.

      2) BILL SCHMALFELDT created an "I CRAP" email address he associated with a new Twitter account (that was *conveniently* up-and-running prior to him deactivating his @CBParodyRecords account) made JUST DAYS BEFORE the gag gift arrived at his tincan.

      3) BILL SCHMALFELDT didn't open the package himself. Oh, noooooo. BILL SCHMALFELDT -- being the "man and loving husband" he is -- had his wife/caretaker Gail (Oops! I mentioned her name!) open the gag gift because he claims he can no longer open packages due to his Parkinson'sDiseaseELEVENTY!!1!1!!... but, yet the demented freak can still manage to ferociously pound on a sticky keyboard ripping off how many tweets per hour?

      4) BILL SCHMALFELDT (on two different Twitter accounts) regaled his tale of how he bent over to pet his dog, kept bending, and managed to pull off a faceplant in his hallway...

      ... but, then BILL SCHMALFELDT felt the need (days later) to send an email to a law enforcement officer, and the Maryland State's Attorney's office, LYING about his fall and injury -- claiming they were due to receiving the gag gift.

      5) BILL SCHMALFELDT went on-and-on-and-on-and-on -- rabidly swearing the gag gift was sent by EPWJ (coupled with a SLEW of threats)...

      ... but, now BILL SCHMALFELDT rabidly swears the gag gift was sent by Howard -- and, again, went so far as to lie to law enforcement about it in hopes they will open an investigation against Howard.

      Now, I won't speak for all members of Team Lickspittle, of course -- but, this Lickspittle here finds all of the facts listed above very, very curious.

      I cannot assert with 100% certainty BILL SCHMALFELDT HIMSELF paid for the gag gift to be shipped to his tincan (in order to accuse/frame any one of the individuals he believes to be his enemies, HATES with a burning, all-consuming fury, and has REPEATEDLY sworn to destroy), but with all of the circumstantial evidence floating around out there... I would not for one second doubt the VERY REAL possibility of it either.

      BILL SCHMALFELDT simply cannot resist doubling-down on the stupid EVERY chance he gets.

      1. Has EPWJ received an apology from William for wrong accusing of a crime yet? It might mitigate the damages later.

      2. You laid out a great chain of evidence and logic, Grace. He's clearly the most likely suspect and the only person with anything to gain from the transaction. IF he didn't send it himself; and if he had any sense at all (but then we wouldn't be here); he'd take the advice on the package.

        I'd add again that it's highly doubtful any of us actually cares enough about him to go to the trouble or expense. Well, not before it brought us such a total drama queen over-reaction in the form of multiple feldtdowns. hahahaha

        He never tires of totally humiliating himself, does he? hahahahaha

  12. Does anyone love the endless repetition of the weird and awkward phrase "improperly packaged shit"? Makes me want to adamantly deny sending the improper kind but step up and confess to sending him "properly packaged" shit.

    1. He's convincing himself of his own vapid arguments. Maniacs do that, although not usually in public. William is a special kind of crazy, needing as he as he does an audience when he - pardon the pun - rolls about in his own filth.

  13. I'm loath to be a stickler about such things, but is it proper form for "Schmalfeldt, out." to be immediately followed by a litany of new tweets?

    Any schooled comedian knows that you don't drop the mic, come back for it and start screaming, "And another thing!"

    1. Agreed. An " Over. More to follow." Or "Break" would be proper radio-telephone procedure. A Navy communications puke should know that.

  14. I've told Bill to not contact me via twitter, and he has, again, today. Even though I have him blocked, and he put a period in front of the at-sign, my ipad twitter client still notified me of the tweets. He's now sent me an email, partly because to report a tweet you have to unblock the account in question, and I hit the wrong button and accidentally tried to follow him for about 2 seconds. It seems that because I was quite sure that Chris Heather was NOT Howard Earl, that means I know who IS Howard. #LogicFail. And I have never said that what was done was legal, just that, as the legal advice he sought out on Avvo said, no law enforcement agency is going to waste the resources on this, and certainly not trying to get info out of Slovenia. They are certainly NOT going to be able to find an American's fingerprints on the plastic tub or the packaging. (Oh, and the letter admits, again, that the fall was before the arrival of said package.)

    I wonder if I should be sending my own email to the HoCo police since the tweets certainly read like a (very clumsy) attempt at extortion.

    Since it is quite obvious that he reads here I am hereby stating that I never, ever want him to attempt to contact me again, through any medium whatsoever, electronic, or IRL.

    1. Perhaps HoCo will officially notify him for you, and then keep a record of the notification. If you choose to go that route, be sure to at least mention the multiple adjudications and offer copies of the relevant court orders.

      Of course, I agree with you and Avvo, as does anyone with even a modicum of intelligence. I suspect the freak knows this is true too, hence the bluster kicked up to high gear in a stupid extortion attempt. (That he's bad at it doesn't make it less illegal, btw.) Besides, since he's the most likely sender, any real investigation would lead back to him.

      Now that is something the authorities may take notice of, if anyone filed a false report in an attempt to maliciously implicate someone they knew to be uninvolved, for the purpose of extortion and/or harassment.

    2. I agree, LG. Bill Schmalfeldt's tweets directed toward you read very much like extortion... clumsy or not.

      I would not hesitate to notify HoCo law enforcement that Blob has not only contacted you NUMEROUS times AFTER you have REPEATEDLY made it VERY CLEAR to him that he is to cease doing so... but his contact, too, is threatening in nature.

      The way he defaults to attacking you, after he has whipped himself up into a furious lather, needs to stop. He does it frequently.


  15. "You laid out a great chain of evidence and logic, Grace." -- Jane

    Thanks, Jane. And, again... I have zero proof he's responsible for the gag gift, but there is just too much pointing to him for me to completely rule him out.

    And, furthermore... aside from the hilarity that has ensued that I have very much enjoyed (and, continue to find entertaining), I really couldn't care less to know specifically who is behind it.

    "He never tires of totally humiliating himself, does he? hahahahaha" -- Jane

    Tis the air he breathes, Jane. *SMH*

  16. Here I've been waiting all week for the guy who probably sent himself horse manure to send the Amazon Federal Police - False negative unjust review division - to arrest me - take away my lands and subjugate my women into Schmalfeldt slavery

    Not a peep......

    So is the manure - still in the house? If it is why? Did the cops tell you to leave the container on the kitchen table keep it open and add water every two hours - umm cause if they did - I think they might not be investigating....


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