…in 3 different states. It’s likely that he is also a perjurer, though that is yet to be determined in court.

This post will be repeated every day.



  1. And, somehow, the fact that the scraper reposts your content at his site is to be construed as you harassing him! TROLOLOLOL!

    1. You heard of the old spelling bee, between Ted Kennedy, Clarence Thomas, Bob Packwood and Dan Quayle?

      Quayle won. Everyone else thought "harass" was two words.


    The amazing thing about this "conversation", is that it is easily verifiable. FFS, a simple Google search would show the truth. What a bunch of morons.

    I'll let John lower the boom.

  3. Here's how I see the conversation with the police going:
    Q. Mr. Shakey, did you just piss yourself?

    A. Yes. Sea Hag. Bring the fine young officer a Christmas cookie. And bring the baby wipes.

  4. He's "pissing into the wind" this morning! Next he's going to wonder why he got wet!

  5. How about this.

    Go fuck yourself, Shakey.
    Have Gail fuck herself with a fire hydrant.
    And pass the same sentiment to LE.
    Fed to Fed, as it were...

      1. John Smith -

        if he had been sent off, he could hardly have been posting, right?

        Oh, wait, I see what you meant...


  6. It seems like Gail Schmalfeldt should really take a more active role in managing the day to day life of Bill Schmalfeldt. There was a 'tough guy' in my neighborhood when I was a kid. He watched a LOT of wrestling and thought he was a badass. Unfortunately, he was only a physically inferior kid with below average intelligence and an inflated ego. He got his ass kicked a few times before his mother killed the cable connection and took to watching over everything he did so that she could defuse the situations he would invariably get himself into.

    1. Haha! Zing! It'd be funny if it didn't come from someone as pathetically self-unaware as you, Bill!

      And, yes...I am saying that if you did send shit to yourself, Gail should have stopped you. Obviously, i have no proof that you did send it to yourself nut the possibility exists. However, my point was more that, if Gail really cared for you she would take away the tools that allow your tormentors to "harass" you.

      By the way...who opens a clear plastic container that is clearly labeled "you have received a shit", that clearly contains a quantity of shit, and which was sent from Slovakia?

  7. If you wanna play that game:

    Anyone low enough to harangue a family over the death of their child is low enough to order a bucket of shit delivered to his own home in a lame attempt to frame his enemies.

  8. I just left a message with the desk sergeant to pass along my cell number to officer Trodden. My hopes are to get to the bottom of this caper and clear my good name

    I'll keep you posted


    I just noticed that in all the hysterics today from Willy's tl, the word "Slovenia" is never mentioned. How does he expect to find "who sent" him "improperly packaged shit", if he doesn't look for the person who, you know, actually "sent" it?

      1. I'm pretty sure the photo of the envelope said Slovenia.

        This article says it's from Slovenia:

        Hey Willy, help us out here and repost the picture of the envelope so we can be sure.

      2. Oh, yeah. The envelope also has a stamp that says "Slovensko". Care to guess what the Slovaks call their country in their native tongue? That's right. Slovensko.

        Slovensko is Slovakia but Slovenia is not Slovakia. I just read that once a month, members of the governments of the two countries (which do not share a border, btw) meet to exchange improperly addressed mail.

    1. The cops have probably put the whole thing in a large baggie, and hidden it in the evidence locker, assuming they haven't already pitched it. The tub was bought in Slovakia, the tub was packed in Slovakia, with poop or manure from Slovakian horses, the note and the address were written by a Slovakian, and it was put in the mail in Slovakia by a Slovakian. There is absolutely NOTHING on that tub or packing material which will lead to anyone living on this side of the Atlantic, certainly not any fingerprints. I'm not sure whether to shake my head or LOL, so I find myself doing both at the same time.

      1. True. I think Bill himself kept saying Slovakia which is why we keep thinking that. So just read Slovenia and Slovenian for Slovakia and Slovakian in that comment of mine above.

  10. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly

    Why, in God's name, does anyone PROTECT a person who endangered the public health safety by sending improperly packaged SHIT to someone planting time bombs around a town???



    By making them whole by helping them to collect the money they are owed.

    1. Or a Slovenian's prints? Either way, it won't tell anyone who ordered the package, and no law enforcement agency on this side of the Atlantic is going to waste resources trying to get the info out of Slovenia. Though if it was ordered with bitcoin, odds are that even if the Slovenian company did give out the info, there would be no way to trace it to the ordering party.

  12. bwahahahaha Too funny, all! 😀

    First the freakshow took to repeatedly referring to his tin-can as a "house." Now he's claiming he has an "entire family" as if that includes more than he and his caretaker who appears to have as little to do with him as possible. Can't blame her for that. hahahaha

  13. Is he ever more moronic than when he gets into his "Billy-Law" persona where he acts as if he believes he is some sort of legal authority? I mean, either a legal expert or some sort of law enforcement agent who is going to throw us all into jail for an imaginary crime? hahahahahaha

    One has to wonder if his bluster has ever worked on anyone and if he'll ever learn that it won't work on any of us. Obviously we can all read, because we're commenting in text. And we can all see that even his "proof" doesn't show what he imagines/wishes/hopes-upon-hopes. hahahaha

    His clear mental deterioration (and from a very low starting point, I suspect), would be sad if he weren't a repeatedly adjudicated harasser, adjudicated stalker, slapped with multiple restraining/peace orders from multiple states, rejected by his children and virtually anyone who has ever met him, cuckolded repeatedly by multiple wives, and even rejected as an advocate/donor to a charity! If all of that doesn't signal to the person that the real problem looks at them in the mirror, then they're much too stupid to ever figure it out.

    1. Regardless, how could he prove that anyone knows who the sender was? What evidence can show that anyone (besides the sender him/her self) possesses guilty knowledge regarding the sender?
      For a supposed criminal charge there has to be a preponderance of evidence to even generate a criminal charge and proof beyond a reasonable doubt for a conviction.
      Since we are being threatened with a criminal charge for being an accessory after the fact, there are elements that must be proven prior to that charge may be levelled:
      1) Evidence that a criminal act has occurred. (A specific law must have been violated for this to happen. IANAL but I cannot find a specific law that has been violated.)
      2) In order to sustain an aiding and abetting or an accessory after the fact charge, the person who committed the act must be identified and prosecuted. Only then can evidence of the person or persons who had guilty knowledge could be charged. Again, there must be actual preponderance of evidence for a criminal charge to be lodged.
      The cretin in a can simply does not understand that unlike civil court or peace orders, in criminal court there has to be actual evidence not simple allegations. And not just evidence that a specific person might have knowledge but a preponderance of the evidence that the person actually knew and purposefully remained silent.
      To recap: EVIDENCE, with a preponderance of the EVIDENCE sustaining a criminal charge for guilty knowledge post a criminal charge for the sender violating AN ACTUAL LAW.
      As Kimby likes to say, UNPOSSIBLE!

      1. There you go again, Paul... making all kinds of sense and citing facts. Heh.

        "Cretin in a can" -- There could not be a more appropriate (and, funnier) title... and, there have been some pretty spectacular ones! LOL!


    And warned, and warned, and warned, and warned.

    For 2 years now. And nothing.

    Face it, NOBODY is going all the way to Slov....., er, Eastern Europe to investigate a case of sending manure in the mail. Especially considering the company actually advertises it and ships to the US without penalty.

    1. The investigation (I'm told they'reworking in shifts and have been approved unlimited overtime) will most like determine that he deserved it and should be sent more horseshit.

      1. And when this resource intensive investigation exonerates me, I will be the better man (KNOT a difficult task) and be willing to accept your apology.

  15. What a shame that the self-proclaimed "comedian" is never intentionally funny, but is hilarious when in the midst of a feldtdown, or faux-feldtdown, as the case may be.

    Hmmm... I don't think any man here would allow his wife to open a package addressed to him from an unknown sender, especially when there's a freakin' bomber in his circle. So, if he had any self-awareness at all, he'd be thoroughly ashamed at again proving himself to be ever so much less than a man.

    Of course, there's still the likelihood he knew exactly what was in the package, having ordered it himself to try to set up one of his enemies, and/or to secretly punish his caretaker for mocking/laughing when he cries. Goodness knows he wouldn't dare send it to her directly.

    1. Exactly. He can type flawlessly at 2 or 3 tweets a minute, but he can use a pair of scissors to open an envelope.

      1. THAT is quite possibly THE MOST laughable and ridiculous load of horseshit the Blob has EVAH attempted to pass off as truth!

        He's incapable of opening a bubblewrap-lined, packing envelope! Good grief!

        LOLOLOLOL <-- (Blob loves that! And, he's welcome.)

      2. Seriously - though we've all seen it ourselves repeatedly, it's still very difficult to believe that so much stupid can reside in one person. SMH

        No editor would ever find such a stupid character believable. Yet he puts it out there, day after day. Even without proving the lie himself as the freakshow does with his freakish typing, what man would totally deny the ability to do a single useful thing?

        Can't even pick up something from the floor without falling over, but real men are supposed to fear his mighty keyboard? LOL LOL LOLOLOLOL

      3. Bear in mind that he's %100 disabled, yet produces volume after volume of audio "comedy" and "publishes" books at a rate of about 1 a month. Disabled means you CAN'T do things, not that you are merely FANTASTICALLY BAD at them. Leech.

    2. Hey, that reminds me...

      Isn't Brave Sir William the same guy who used to poke Aaron by suggesting that Aaron made his wife check his car for explosives, or start the car for him or some such?

      How far he has come, Brave Sir William!

    1. There is not enough money nor brutal force in the world that would EVER put me in the position of kissing that demented freak's ginormous, gelatinous, lying ass.

      And, again... IDGAS who is responsible for sending that gag gift to The Elkridge Horror.

      My focus now is entirely on continuing to limber up my LULZ muscles for the impending, hilarious events -- that will undoubtedly occur -- as a result of Bill Schmalfeldt's insistence that molehills must ALWAYS be turned into mountains, and a hole can never quite be dug deep enough for his liking.

      Keep it up, Blob.

  16. I am not aware anyone said that BS certainly sent it to himself, merely that it was possible or perhaps even probable that he or one of his "buddies" sent it. If and when the cops reveal that such a possibility has been completely eliminated, he seems to believe (quite wrongly) that he deserves some reward for telling the truth for once. It is telling that the reward he craves, nay demands, involve butt stuff.

    1. Exactly, Jeff. Typical Bill... LYING AGAIN.

      I, too, am unaware of ANYONE stating with certainty that the Blob sent the gag gift to himself. In fact, I, myself, have REPEATEDLY stated I am NOT certain, I have no idea, I have no proof, nor do I particularly care who the hell did it...

      ... it's simply a possibility/probability Bill Schmalfeldt is responsible based on some very curious events.


    2. The freak's obsessions are one of the principal reasons he's a primary suspect. Let's just say it's him in Tupperware.

    3. Actually, you raise another good point, JeffM - No one has said definitively that the freakshow is the sender, yet he absolutely insists we have. Is he telling on himself? Could be...

  17. "This is the asshole you are all risking your fortune and freedom for. Thank him."

    Don't you get it, Shakey? No one is risking anything. You have no juice.

    You are an impotent never-was whose sole purpose is to be the object of mockery.

    Period. End of story. Get over it and get over yourself. You have ZERO MOJO, FOOL.

    After all these years, you've never even SNIFFED my real identity.

    And you are too stupid to ever figure out why.


    1. "I guess you're just too smart for me, Howie."

      There was never a doubt, asswipe.

      And as relates to the cops? Not worried one iota.

      You fucking toad.

      1. NOPE. I am not Chris Heather. So I command you to continue to harass him.

        Do it or you are as much of a pussy as EVERYONE that has ever interacted with you (including family and spouses, current one included) KNOWS you to be.

      2. I am willing to accept your apology when it is determined I didn't send the shit, Shakey.

        Only because I didn't think of it first.

        You DO realize this is going to end the same as always, right?

        You looking like a fucking fool. Everyone laughing at you.

        The Sea Hag with Irish sunglasses.


      3. What did I miss? Was there an actual piece of evidence that Shakey is pointing to that turned his idiotic ire from EPWJ to howardearl!?!?? Is he just going through the roster of people that laugh at him, hoping to eventually get lucky and threaten/bully the real culprit into an admission??!?!?

  18. Just found! Video of the unspeakable carnage wrought upon opening a "ShitExpress" shipment:

    Oh the humanity!

    1. Wow. It took him, what, a second to open that incredibly difficult package. The contents were clearly labeled. He did not vomit when he opened it, and neither did his pal.


        .....oh, nevermind, different video.


      *PFFT* Heck. Those two dudes didn't even wrinkle their noses when they took a smell.

      Did anyone else notice, too, how the guy read a label from the bottom of the container? I don't recall Blob posting a pic of a bottom label CLEARLY indicating the product therein was fertilizer... including instructions on how to use it as... FERTILIZER! Maybe Blob did, and I just missed it in between all of his other raging, ranting, and spittle-riddled tweets.

      Oh! And, the PACKAGING! LOL! The guy "tore" it open like it was made out of tissue paper! Blob can't open THAT?! HAHAHAHAHA!

      One can call Bill Schmalfeldt many things... (and, I do! 🙂 )... but, a "MAN" ain't one of 'em.


      1. Typical two-year-old's behavior. Like many leftish males, his development is arrested at an early age. Give him a Binky and a blanky and send him to bed for a nap.


    Like you did, Willy, with "the people I harass" and "I don't just stalk and harass people"?


    1. Like admitting to sending an email to LE claiming to have fallen and hurt your head as a result of receiving an unwanted gift.

  20. The point is that we've seen the video of a package being opened Willy, and it is clear you were lying about how horrible it was. There is nothing in that video that would cause anyone to get sick.

    Once again, you're lying.

    And there's no criminal activity being portrayed on that video.

  21. "Someone hits a thumbs down on your blogs, and you go batshit, Someone sends me a hazardous material in the mail, and I deserved it."

    Now you're catching on, Commodore.


    That's it?! That's the best you can do?

    My God man, you admitted, on the internet, that you are a stalker and harasser. At least try to say something cogent.

  23. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 14m 14 minutes ago

    Sending shit to people is taken pretty seriously.

    So is stalking, harassment, perjury and filing a false police report.

    And I'm sure the person who sent the poop is cowering in Europe.

  24. "What was the reason for sending me improperly packaged horse shit? Was it to scare me, to modify my behavior somehow? What reason?"

    Don't know.
    Don't care.

    We all have our own shit to deal with.



    "Just because all you fools understand is stalking and harassing doesn't mean that's the only weapon in my arsenal"

  26. The real flaw in the Cabin Boy's™ ranting is his claim that it is somehow illegal to mail manure. It isn't. There are many small companies in the boutique manure business who routinely mail small quantities (say, 10 pounds or less) of sheep or rabbit or horse or llama dung via USPS. See for example.

    The postal regulation that the Cabin Boy™ has latched onto deals with infectious stool samples sent for medical or veterinary analysis. It doesn't apply to manure of the sort that can be used as fertilizer.

    This is yet another example of his applying an incorrect understanding of the facts to a set of misunderstood laws and regulations.


      1. Howard, I thought the Tupperware was the gift for the one you want to meet. And the contents for the blob.

      2. I wonder if the Commodore and Mrs. the Commodore enjoy tea for the holidays..

      3. Maybe somebody could send him this- would it drive him b@t$h1t crazy?!?!!?


    "Horse manure is a solid waste excluded from federal regulation because it neither
    contains significant amounts of listed hazardous components, nor exhibits hazardous
    properties. See definitions below: "


    Then your issue is with the person who packed and mailed the package, not the person who paid for it to be sent.

  29. This response is held up in the mod cue, so I'm going to jump ahead (sorry Paul).

    Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly

    Did no such thing, Perry

    Why lie about this? You have to know there are multiple copies of these statements.

    “Just because all you fools understand is stalking and harassing doesn’t mean that’s the only weapon in my arsenal”

    Not even ONE NAME on the list of people I've harassed that didn't harass me first?

    Two direct statement by you admitting that you harass people.

    1. You can't argue with someone who lies and torturously perverts the truth as easily as they breathe. Failing incarceration and/or being committed, IT deserves nothing but to be ignored. IT is nothing but a demented attention begging whore.

  30. I think the Sea Hag gives the Commodore these crazy leads just to keep him on the OPPOSITE end of the trailer.

    It's cheaper than having someone come level the jacks.

    1. She probably knows just how far gone he is, but is either too scared or doesn't know what to do about it. You know, if he's not just evil but seriously demented as well(most likely).

    2. Oh, jeez! You made me choke my iced tea, dammit. LOL!

      I can't even begin to imagine some of the thoughts that have to go through his caretaker's head of ways to get even with him for all of the years of misery.

      "I dig this broad… "

      The sentiment is mutual, my friend. 🙂

  31. He's sent me a second email, after obviously reading my comment where I told him to never, ever contact me directly again.

    He's threatening to tell the HoCo police that I am a suspect unless I prove to him how I know Howard isn't Chris, because somehow that proves I know exactly who sent the package?!?!?! And I'm obviously going to be charged, tried, and found guilty of being an accessory after the fact.

    It looks like I need to add my local SA to the list of folks I'm contacting on Monday.

    So I'm adding it here for the umpteenth time.

    Bill Schmalfeldt is to never, ever directly contact me again, either electronically, over the phone, or through a postal or other hardcopy delivery service.

      1. Here's the first one received at 15:43 this afternoon:

        Are you trying to follow me?
        I just had a little flash on the screen that said “LibraryGryffon is following you.” But I don’t see you on my list of followers. If you are, let me know if I have you blocked and I will unblock you.

        Nancy, you and I have had our fun. But there’s no way you can stand by someone who put the entire community at risk by paying a company in Slovakia to send improperly packaged horse shit. The risk of tetanus is great, especially as I had an open scrape on my forehead at the time. Anyone who touched that package was at risk. Look up the possible hazards of horse manure and see for yourself.

        This is a class A federal misdemeanor, Nancy.
        18 U.S. Code § 1716 - Injurious articles as nonmailable

        The US Postal Service says you can mail manure if it is triple packaged. This was not. It has to be in a sift-proof container. Tupperware bowls are not certified sift-proof. The outer container has to have a biohazard label, and the package must be sent in a fiberboard or cardboard box, not a flimsy envelope. And the outer container must be marked “Exempt Animal Waste”.

        This package was none of the above, and therefore non-mailable, and therefore in violation of Federal Law.

        The nice people in Slovakia did not pick my name out of a phone book. Somebody, and I wager you know who it was, paid $16 in bitcoin to have this company send it. And look at the underlined part of the law. “Knowingly Causes to be Delivered by Mail.”

        You and I will never see eye to eye on most things. But I’m sure you will agree that if someone mailed YOU a bowl of wet, improperly packaged horseshit, you would want to find out who did it, right?

        I think you know who did it. You’ve said in the past that Chris Heather is not “Howard D. Earl.” If he is not, how do you know that? And who is Howard D. Earl? Someone committed a crime, m’lady. Do the right thing.

        Regards, and Merry Christmas

        The second came at 19:30, after I'd reiterated my request for no further communication.

        I wrote a very polite e-mail to you explaining your situation. Your logic is flawed, Nancy. Unless you can explain how you KNOW FOR A FACT that Howie isn’t Chris Heather without knowing who he actually is, you have quite a little conundrum facing you. Once more, I remind you that protecting a criminal means you are an accessory after the fact. If you know who Howie is and are keeping it secret because you hate me and I deserve having my entire family put at risk for the pathogens that can be found in wet horse shit, the Post Office deserves it for having the temerity to deliver my mail, we’re talking Federal time here, Nancy. And you’re walking right into a courtroom with your eyes open because I will make sure that everyone who assisted in hiding this scumbag’s identity pays for it.

        You seem like a decent enough person in real life. Don’t let Howie pull you down with him.

        Just do me a favor if you can find it in yourself… how do you know for a fact that Howie is NOT Chris Heather? Because he TOLD you?

        Set aside the hate for just a moment and think of how you’d feel if this had been done to you. And if you know who did it, but aren’t saying, that is a crime and you will pay for it.

        This is different than spamming or stalking or sending threatening e-mails, all of which the cops just sniffed at telling me “get off the Internet,” Nancy.

        This time it’s something tangible. Someone paid a company in Slovakia to send wet horse shit, improperly packaged, in violation of US Postal Laws and the US Code. This is a federal crime. This is something the cops can wrap their heads around and do something about. And, as you saw, I have provided them with leads.

        I’m afraid I’m going to have to add your name to that list of leads, Nancy, unless you are honest with me. You can be honest with me, or you can be honest with the postal investigators when they get around to you.

        If you’re honest with me, it doesn’t make the local news in Groton. If you’re visited by postal inspectors, that’s the sort of thing that DOES make the news, Nancy.

        Think about your options. Do the right thing.

        Interestingly, the first one came from the LoS gmail account, and the second from his Balmer Liberal.

        And yes, I'm contacting LE in MD and CT on Monday, because the second email in particular would be taken by any normal, non-LE person as a threat, especially after a request for no contact.

      2. "If you are, let me know if I have you blocked and I will unblock you."

        It's a minor thing but it serves to demonstrate his lack of comprehension of something so very basic just on Twitter. If someone is following then they can't be blocked. If they are blocked they can't be following you.

        Can't even imagine how far afield he is with something even vaguely "abstract" as he likes to say.

      3. Thank you for posting those, LG.
        It looks like the Admiral has fucked up.
        So much psychosis wrapped into two emails.
        With your permission, may I use snippets of the two emails? I’ll understand your reticence.

      4. Yea, I can see the breaking local news now. Self admittedly dementia addled, multiply adjudicated harasser/stalker harasses and adds yet another to the list of states...yada yada

      5. Just an FYI, coercion is indeed a crime in CT - depending on the exact circumstances a Class A misdemeanor or a Class D felony. As such the fines can run up to $5000 and the jail time up to 5 years.

        I wonder what my local SA will consider these to be?

      6. "If you’re visited by postal inspectors, that’s the sort of thing that DOES make the news, Nancy."

        AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Where? Where is that the sort of thing that makes the local news? Nocrimeeverville?

        I laugh again: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      7. So sorry, LG. Makes you want to bleach then burn your email box, doesn't it? What a repulsive, disgusting piece of utter stupidity in a penis-shaped body.

        You know he must be evil to his core because he's just too stupid to be that repugnant on purpose.

    1. Unbelievable, LG. I'm so sorry you now find yourself in demented freak's sights (again!), as well.

      Contact on, girl. No quarter.

      1. Thank you for posting those, LG.

        It looks like the Admiral has fucked up.


        So much psychosis wrapped into two emails.

        With your permission, may I use snippets of the two emails? I'll understand your reticence.

      2. Those emails. Good grief. "I WANT IT ALL, DOUG!!!" v.462

        Unreal. So glad you're contacting law enforcement, and your SA, on Monday, LG.

        Ya know... Howard has clearly stated numerous times that he is NOT Chris Heather. And, many of us have read Howard's comments declaring as much. So, there... I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HOWARD IS NOT CHRIS HEATHER, TOO!

        So, go ahead, Blob. Add every single one of us to your precious "list of leads." Do it, you pansy!

        Oh. And, looky here:

        "The outer container has to have a biohazard label, and the package must be sent in a fiberboard or cardboard box, NOT A FLIMSY ENVELOPE." -- Bill Schmalfeldt

        LYING POS. And, this demented creature made his wife open it. Yeah. He "loves" her a whole lot. Sick-And-twisted freak.

    2. I offer a ghost-written reply to Billy's first e-mail:

      "Are you trying to follow me?"

      No, you lying pasty-faced poop pirate. I've been demanding you cease all contact, and this is yet another transparent LIE to attempt to fig-leaf your continued refusal to GO THE FUCK AWAY.

      "I just had a little flash"

      Sure you did. Just like Amazon customer support shares personal customer data with you to assist in your FAILdoxes. Riiight.

      "Nancy, you and I have had our fun."

      Fuck you, you creepy fuck. Creep. Creepy creeping creeper creep.

      "But there’s no way you can stand by someone"

      I don't have to. As the Poles say: NOT MY CIRCUS. NOT MY MONKEYS.

      "put the entire community at risk blah blah blah"

      Which is why every horse breeder has a CDC Level 5 containment facility for that oh-so-dangerous material. Or not.

      "I had an open scrape on my forehead at the time."

      Yes, yes! BILL WAS INJURED! Because of POOP INDUCED SHOCK! Or because he fell on his stupid face when trying to pet his dog. Which was it, by the way? There's a term for one of two mutually exclusive statements: LIE. It doesn't really matter which story was a lie, you're still, BEYOND ANY DOUBT, A LIAR.

      But we knew that.

      "Look up the possible hazards"

      Look up the possible hazards of dihydrogen monoxide. And then go fuck yourself. With a 2x4, wrapped with razor wire, and doused with AIDS-tainted blood. Wait, that's probably your idea of a good time. Never mind that.

      "The nice people in Slovakia did not pick my name out of a phone book."

      No shit, Captain Obvious. Could it be that they take money in return for sending poop?

      "Somebody, and I wager you know who it was"

      You wager what? Your sacred honor? Your freedom to wallow in your own shit in a tin can while waiting for your health to finally deteriorate to the point where you can shuffle off this mortal coil to the relief and satisfaction of EVERYONE who has had the sad misfortune of dealing with you?

      "You and I will never see eye to eye on most things."

      That's because you are, to use a technical term, fucked in the head.

      "But I’m sure you will agree... would want to find out who did it"

      If I was a psychopathic stalker with delusions of self-importance, yeah. Having an ability you seem to lack, INTROSPECTION, I'd first wonder if I'd done something that would warrant such a prank being played upon me. Perhaps, in your shoes, I'd actually contemplate the possibility that if EVERYONE I interact with hates my guts... Maybe it's not them, but ME?

      "You've said in the past that Chris Heather is not “Howard D. Earl.” If he is not, how do you know that?"

      Because he told me, and I have no reason to doubt him. Unlike YOU, I've never caught him in a lie.

      BTW, Bill... You do know that you're just another asshole on the Internet, right? I have no duty to you to tell the truth. I'm not under oath, you're not in any position of authority.


      "And who is Howard D. Earl?"

      That's for me to know, and you go fuck yourself.

      "Someone committed a crime, m’lady"

      Somebody committed a crime a thousand times today, within a dozen miles of where I sit. I'll bet some of the victims were nice, sane, productive members of society. They, I might care about. You, you repulsive slug, you adjudicated harasser and stalker, you flaming Lib'tard, YOU can go whine and snivel about your latest butthurt to someone else. I don't get paid for this shit, you know.

      "Do the right thing."

      You first, asshole. And it'd be a first.

      "Regards, and Merry Christmas"

      Disregards, and a Woeful Festivus.

      Do the world a favor, and go die in a fire.

      1. I should probably add that after wondering who I'd pissed off and how, I'd then take it out and put it on my compost pile along with the rabbit and guinea pig poop. My garden really appreciates that sort of stuff!


    As you are so aptly demonstrating tonite:

    Not even ONE NAME on the list of people I’ve harassed....

    1. Demented people misread things and see things that aren't there....sound like anyone we know?

      1. Are demented people able to produce all the stuff he has on twitter today, as well as the emails to LG? Asking seriously. Demented or just plain evil?

  33. Has "the round mound of unsound" gotten around to explaining how the packer and mailer of a package is not responsible for the packing and mailing of that package? Other than shouting "caused it to be sent, caused it to be sent!!!"

    Someone let me know, 'cause I'm curious.

    1. "Was the horse shit sent to my house intended to be put back into the soil as a fertilizer? Or was it meant to be an insult to a hated one?"

      Two birds.

      One stone.

      1. IF he didn't send it himself, from the looks of him, the sender probably figured he'd eat it, thinking it some sort of holiday goodie. hahahahaha

    1. hahaha, Col.; good one! No worries, Howard. The Col. knows the idiot doesn't have the ability to ask nicely. He demands. He berates. He threatens. He does many things, mostly evil. Among the many, many things he cannot do (like open an envelope), he cannot ask nicely. hahahaha

      1. I laugh every time I think of the image of that guy in the video opening that FLIMSY envelope, and Blob declaring Gail (Oops! I mentioned her name!) had to open the gag gift because he is such a pathetic and weak excuse for a man! Hahahahaha!

        And, then I take a quick gander at his Twitter timeline, and see the sheer volume of tweets he manages to spew in such a short period of time -- and, think to myself again -- what a pathetic and weak excuse for a human being.


  34. "By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?"

    Matthew 7:16

  35. Sick and twisted freak has spent years trying to peddle the idea that if someone doesn't tell him what he wants to know on his demand that it's some sort of crime; obstruction, aiding & abetting, whatever he thinks of at the moment.

    Also has the delusion that he controls various media outlets and what they'll cover.

    Diagnosed narcissists aren't that narcissistic nor as delusional. It's past time that he be institutionalized before he does actual damage to himself or others. Everyone is likely safe as long as he's issuing threats, etc. Like his "comedy" there is no doubt the damage will come not when he tries to make it happen, but when he tries not to.

  36. I've discovered dash cam video of Inspector Jiggles discussing the caper with law enforcement..

  37. Horse manure. 100% organic matter.

    "Manure is organic matter used as organic fertilizer in agriculture. Manures contribute to the fertility of the soil by adding organic matter and nutrients, such as nitrogen, that are trapped by bacteria in the soil. Higher organisms then feed on the fungi and bacteria in a chain of life that comprises the soil food web. It is also a product obtained after decomposition of organic matter like cow-dung which replenishes the soil with essential elements and add humus to the soil.

    In the past, the term “manure” included inorganic fertilizers, but this usage is now very rare." -- Wikipedia

    Was there a label on the bottom of the container? What did the label have printed on it? Did it happen to clearly identify the contents of the container? Did Blob ever post of picture of the bottom of the container? If not... why not?

  38. It appears the Sea Hag has put the Commodore to sleep...I mean, she has put him down.


    Sorry. Wishful thinking, there.

  39. An admission against self-interest? *hmmm*

    ... says the demented freak who called his deceased brother a "retard."

    1. Ah. Since the only sibling he talks about regularly and whose mention gets him all worked up is his twin, I didn't realize. I know no one here has done anything that could be considered "profaning" her memory and he hasn't gone ballistic over anything but his twin. May they both rest in peace.

  40. A legal note- is somebody going to point out that the Howard County law enforcement community has nothing to do with enforcing federal law? I mean, something USC somethingorother might point out that a certain act is a crime prosecutable in federal court, but what does that have to do with a Maryland cop?

    1. He won't understand. People point out his errors often but it doesn't slow him down a bit (SWIDT?), nor does it cause him to edit is usual spiel.

      Until he finds something else to totally fail to comprehend, he'll stick to misunderstanding what he's already found, and he'll beat. it. to. death.

      You just know that as a kid he was the type to bang his head into a wall over and over and over and over again. (Probably a cement wall at that; and doesn't it explain a lot?) It wouldn't surprise me a bit if that latest (possibly faux) boo-boo on his ugly mug was from more of the same.

      When he's not hitting a wall with his penis-shaped noggin, he's metaphorically banging it with the Knot group, the Lickspittles, the Zombies, etc. I guess he keeps hoping he'll be able to knock all of the crap out of it. Sadly, it appears to be made of the stuff. hahahahaha


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