95 thoughts on “Self Awareness Fail, Part 642,788”

  1. "Unlike Hoge, I keep my word. I was clear that I was not going to pursue PO so Grady's trip was unnecessary."

    Sure... Like he was leaving Twitter, leaving blogging, gave away his Mac to his stepson, would abide by the peace orders. Let's not forget "WAR."

  2. Unlike StalkerBeast, I am not an idiot. He could swear up and down the Eastern seaboard on a hundred stacks of Bibles, that he wasn't going to show up, and I still would have made that trip, even if he had been stupid enough to continue his ongoing pattern of direct communication with a Stalking No Contact Order hearing pending.

    He has done nothing, ever, to engender the smallest portion of trust; and worked with all his effort and energy to place himself in a position where his every act, every word and every thought require the verification of a nuclear disarmament agreement.

    And he really, REALLY needs to review the Illinois statute under which that order was granted.

    1. No he doesn't. The Schmalfeldt is a legal GENIUS! Hell, Phil Beck calls and asks him for advice. I hope he keeps going just as he is.

  3. Bill Schmalfeldt uses "but does he possess the wisdom" in a recent tweet.

    Perhaps Bill can tell us if, when he recycles rhetoric used against him, if he's simply too drain-bramaged to be consciously aware of his plagiarism, or if he is just being a cunt.

    Both, perhaps?

    1. I wondered how long it would be before he degenerated into the "Hoge just wants to kill me" schtick. A more giant coward and pussy could not be found unless you ground up Wee Willy, Osbourne, and Xidiot and made a new person out of them.

    2. Amazing how he doesn't have any problem with the cold and the transport when its time for him to go down and file papers against Grady but now he wails like a gut shot panther.

      I am positively motivated to enjoy seeing him caused physical suffering, possible injury, and at least some financial expense in having to go down and show cause even if that is all that ever happens to him. and if that ends up being all that happens, then wash, rinse, repeat.

  4. So, if Blob (a fat, lazy, physically-unfit lay-about) were to actually leave his tincan, and just happen to fall down and go boom (trip down some steps, slip on ice, clumsily trip over his own two feet, etc), this, too, would be someone else's fault?


    Life must simply be a breeze for a bedwetting leftist -- when all one has to do is constantly and consistently default to blaming everyone else for what they bring upon themselves.

    1. Oh, how the "mighty" have fallen.

      What happened to all that piss and vinegar, Willy old boy? You were ready to kick everybody's ass a few days ago, and now your whining about being too cold. You are truly a pathetic loser.

      1. We're booked into the Historic Courthouse which has an excellent handicapped ramp and a handicapped accessible courtroom. I presume we're there because Judge Stansfield's chambers are in that court building.

      2. Saaaaay, I remember that courthouse. You had a hearing in there before. Right when old Bill started his "I can't walk anymore" schtick then told the court officials he'd have no problem taking the stairs to the second floor courtroom. Oh, and it was also the same hearing that his "excellent" friend Kimberlin the Diddler was chucking every time the judge shot down one of Schmalfail's arguments. Good times.

        I'll have to see if my work travel can be arranged to be in the area for the Jan. 30th hearing.

  5. I would think that the State is who/what is making Bill risk life and limb to go to a "show cause" hearing, not John Hoge.

    I would think trying to sue Hoge for an injury on the way to/from a hearing (which I imagine is entitled "MD vs BS" not "JH vs BS") would actually constitute yet another breach of the PO.

    1. No, I'm the adverse party. Peace orders are civil matters. I decided to go for a contempt petition rather than criminal charges because it cuts through a lot of red tape.

      1. I hadn't realized that, but it makes a lot of sense.

        But I still think that announcing that one is going to sue someone if one slips on the way to a court date resulting from one's own inability to obey a peace order won't look good at best, and could open one up to further harassment/breaking-the-PO charges.

        1. "And if I fall and hurt myself transferring from home to car to courthouse, guess who I'll sue," sounds not quite identical but very similar to "And WHEN I fall and hurt myself transferring from home to car to courthouse, I know EXACTLYwho I'll sue."

          And, in this (as far as you know) layman's opinion, such a statement would be useful as a defense against such a lawsuit, as well as evidence of intent to defraud.

          That would be an interesting spectator sport.

  6. Schmalfeldt tweets:

    "Apparently some people can't tell when they're not wanted."

    Says the adjudicated harasser and stalker.

    Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ.


    1. The IP address he's fixated on is one belonging to a shared DSL router belonging to one of my ISPs. (I have redundant connections via three providers in order make sure I can get out for business purposes.) There are multiple users connected to that router.

      BTW, when I connect to any of his sites, I go via TOR—which means that the Cabin Boy™ doesn't when (or if) I look at his blogs.

      1. He only sees what he wants to. It's one of his many, many flaws. If he believes it to be true, it must be despite any other explanation.

      2. More than the fact that he sees only what he wants to see is the fact that he can be manipulated to see what you want him to see. Inspector Jiggles is a weak-minded puppet. And if there is any doubt, I have been three dudes from Wisconsin, an Evil Conservative from Arizona, a tire shop owner from Arizona, a police officer from Virginia, and two members of the same family in Arizona, the latter married to some junkie whore.

        Newsflash, Shakey; You have never and shall never be close. EVER.

        You suck balls. Enjoy your annual outing to court and bring a toothbrush.


    2. Uh oh. Now what? EPWJ has already informed us the Irony Meter has vaporized.

      Bill Schmalfeldt -- A more self-unaware, moronic nutbag does not exist. For him to make such a ridiculous statement in the midst of him being served with contempt for violating a Peace Order for unwanted contact is the epitome of idiocy.

      I have been hesitant to believe that Blob is just plain, old dumb. I am now more than convinced he is just that... and, then some.

      Just damn.

      1. Me three. I spent five hours yesterday in tears thinking my kitty had escaped the house and was roaming all over the neighborhood in the rain while looking for him. Instead, he was inside a dresser drawer that I had no clue he could hide in and was fine. I know that anguish all too well. So glad Shiloh is safe.

      1. IIRC, their other dog, Raven, has cancer. Losing Shiloh would have been bad enough, but in that context, even worse.

  7. Bill: "And if I fall and hurt myself transferring from home to car to courthouse, guess who I'll sue."

    So who did Bill sue when he fell and hurt himself petting his own dog? The shelter where he adopted the dog? The Humane Society? Himself? What a complete freaking tool.

    I don't wish any dog to be be left wandering without a home (as you could guess from my screen-name/avatar), but I pity the dog that has to be returned to him. A dog's sense of smell is so much more powerful than ours - can you just imagine what those dogs must go through living with this literal and figurative POS? It's no wonder the dog broke for cover when given a chance.

    Bill, do the really humane thing and find those dogs a new home. They deserve better.

  8. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015
    .@kylekiernan You're still alive? Good. Not relevant, but alive.

    Why is Bill responding to month old tweets? He's really gone off the rails.

    1. Tweets that aren't even addressed to him. He does Twitter searches for his name so that he has something to rant about when he can't find anything on this blog or Hogewash. If all else fails, he picks on Stranahan.

      1. Honest to Christ, he's calling someone else not relevant while he replies to and retweets month old tweets.

        He even made a sniveling reply to Ken at Popehat, he must be utterly starved for some good, old-fashioned butthurt.

        What a pathetic fuck.

  9. Re BS's threat to sue for damages if any are I ncurred on his way to court. As usual, he Is getting his legal advice from Acme Law. In essence, he seems to be relying on some purported absolute immunity from suit due to disability. Absent such absolute immunity, he does not realize what a record he has created against himself, e.g., peace orders against him granted in multiple states, and a demonstrated proclivity for litigation. Nor does he know what evidence will be brought forward of his violating the specific peace order being litigated. And of course, there is the complete lunacy of initiating suit on the theory that his disability makes him incapable of participating in a suit.

    However, the whole thing is a fantasy: he is way too much of a wuss to hurt himself in order to gin up a law suit that will simply add to his record of ridiculous failure.

      1. Schweeeeet!, but while such dirigibles were filled with the optimally light hydrogen gas, bil is more of a gasbag filled only with methane, with is a much less efficient lifting gas: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighter_than_air#Usage_as_lifting_gas

  10. Shakey is now enlisting the help of expert witnesses.

    Shakey is a laughable bastard.

    Shakey caused the email to be sent and thus, violated the peace order.

    Shakey will enter the begging phase soon.

    Shakey should hug a root.

    1. If he really believes that WordPress is solely responsible for the ping back, he needs to make a lot of apologies over the massive Tub O' Poop incident, since by BS logic, obviously the nice Capitalistic Slovenian is solely responsible for the Tub O' Poop.

      But back in the real world, BS needs to realize that since he has full control over the ping back settings, it doesn't matter if the ping is generated by WordPress; he is the one responsible for the settings which tell WP what to do. And ignorance is no excuse. BS certainly wouldn't let any Lickspittle claim that he/she didn't know how the pingback function on their own blog works as an excuse.

      1. He'll just have to risk life and limb and possible exacerbation of his exaggerated condition and Yeti attacks and tell it to the judge.

        Does being married to Shakey make the Sea Hag a lesbian?

      2. Extrapolate to the final conclusion and you'll see why he is insistent on this line of belief:

        Dumbass is not a dumbass because he is "automatically" a dumbass therefore he is not responsible for being a dumbass.

        It makes our brains hurt to try thinking like this but it finally gives him an escape clause that may let him die with some scrap of self worth still nailed to the flag pole.

        1. Oops. I tend to get those Sl.. countries confused, especially since the Slovaks have the "en" in their name in Slovakian. I should just start saying Slovensk and beg the question completely.

    2. Why doesn't Bill ever link to his "experts"? Why always screenshots?

      Why doesn't Bill ever show us what the question is to which the "expert" is responding?

      Why does Bill think we care?

      1. He's begging us for assistance, in his inimitable back-asswards manner.

        Too bad that, even if we were inclined, there's no magic bullet that will slay his legal woes.

        No *magic* bullet.

        Heh heh heh. I crack myself up sometimes.

    3. Bill Schmalfeldt has a habit of asking random strangers narrow questions out of context in the hopes of hearing what he wants to hear.

      Meanwhile, doing something that results in an e-mail being sent to someone who has a protective order against you isn't at least INDIRECT contact? Sorry, Bill... but it's you that's twisting logic into a pretzel, not our Fearless Leader Mr. Hoge.

      Anyone who follows the US legal system knows this: If you keep yanking the judge's chain, the hammer will fall.

  11. The Cabin Boy™ has found an engineer at WordPress who has allowed as how WordPress automatically sends pingbacks. Yes, it does, but it doesn't do it on its own. Someone has to create a link on a pingback-enabled page first.

    If you dial my telephone number, the Public Switched Telephone Network will connect your phone to mine and send a ring signal to my phone. It will do it automatically, but it won't do it on its own. You'll have to do something to initiate the process.

    So it is with pingbacks on WordPress.

    Of course, the Rules of Evidence would require the Cabin Boy™ to put his expert witness on the stand to for me to cross examine—engineer to engineer. Otherwise, anything he might have to say would be inadmissible. Let's see, round trip air fare from San Francisco (that where Automattic, the host for WordPress.com is located) to Baltimore. Car rental. A couple nights in a motel. Meals. Consulting fee. (I'm sure his rate would be comparable to mine. At least 3 days worth with prep and travel time.)

    The Cabin Boy™ better start another one of his blegs for lawfare money soon.

      1. Word press was written by a preteen in Dallas, and according to popular legend the entire internet was written by a pissed off secretary at Telex in Tulsa during the great darkness of 1961

  12. Bring a lawyer, checkbook, laptop, toothbrush, 30 days medication, KY jelly, walker, loose comfy clothing, reading material.......

    Also the fucker owes me a new meter

    1. If you insist on using the equivalent of a milli-amp meter to measure the exo-jiggawatts of Bill Schmalfeldt's hypocrisy, you only have yourself to blame when needle bends, the glass shatters, and a cloud of green smoke billows from the case.

  13. Too bad we don't have a couple of Lickspittles with access to a full set of professional reporter/cameraman equipment.

    Can you imagine the hilarity of Bill Schmalfelt under glaring lights with a mic in his face being "interviewed"?

    My question: Mr. Schmalfeldt, have you ever forged a conversation with Amazon customer service in order to further a failed attempt at revealing a opponent's personal data?

    Any Lickspittles care to chime in, with ideas for questions you'd love to see asked?

    1. After what some call the Amazon Forgery, Is there any reason for anyone to believe any piece of screencapped text you have posted is legitimate?

      After the Christmas Eve Court Clerk incident, is there any reason for anyone to believe anything you say about anything?

      We've contacted many of the people you say you have doxed and they uniformly state, and have volunteered to swear under oath, that they have never heard of you and you are a delusional pyschotic. Your reaction?

  14. Since Bill is dredging up old tweets, I thought I'd try:

    Occupy Parkinsons @BlitzParkinsons

    @mayberryville I am serious as a heart attack, Eric. Either you do something about your false reviews, or I press charges. Tomorrow.

    Good times, good times.

    (Sorry to bring up those painful memories of those charges he filed Eric.)

    1. What can you say about a whining Lib'tard asshole who threatens to sue people... When he's admitted he doesn't have $400 bucks to file a suit, let along hire a lawyer to pursue his ridiculous allegations.

      Somebody needs to tell the whole pack of Team Kimberlin assmunches that BUTTHURT IS NOT A TORT!

  15. Remember when Bill said he had apologized to Stranahan and agreed to leave him alone?

    Good times, good times.

    In the same vein, I'm beginning to think the WordPress "engineer" is as fake as the Amazon support guy "JohnK".

    (I do realize "kevmarsden" exists, I just doubt the existence of the actual post)

  16. I would like to know why BS stopped producing male porn. Was it because the judge placed his work under seal and called it harassing? At least Stranahan's models were voluntary - he did not steal their likenesses like BS did. Odd, isn't it, how Stranahan was never convicted for any of the things BS loves to accuse him of, but BS won't let him move on. Kimberlin, on the other hand, placed bombs, blew a man's leg off, and sabotaged military equipment, and he's golden as far as BS is concerned.

    1. I'd like to know why Bill is such a craven coward that he deletes all his porn. Why can't he be a real man and leave everything he posts on the net? Why does he continually delete everything he produces?

  17. Well, I must say the timing of this story is fortuitous (and more than a little suspect):


    Keeping busy Bill?

    via Stacy McCain, of course.

    1. Stacy McCain?

      Try to control your tears now, Perry. Wee Willy FiFi Fergie doesn't want to be your friend.


  18. Strange how the fat coward @mentions me, but when I respond and point out his lies he blocks me. What a ginormous pussy.

  19. No, you can't give the keys back to Ted Kennedy. And it was a canal, not a ditch.

  20. https://twitter.com/weltschmerz2015/status/550023713283125248

    I'm sure he is quaking in his boots to have a walking, talking colostomy bag screaming to the high heavens impotently about how he is DOOMED.... DOOMED, I tell you!!!111!!eleventy!!11!

    You'll do nothing as usual, fatass.


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