Interesting Thing About The Law

If you swear to something under oath, and sign your name to it, even if you do it under false pretense and for retaliatory purposes, like this:
then you are quite bound by your oath to behave as though you believe that what you have sworn is true. To do otherwise provides both indication and evidence that you may knowingly have provided false information.

So now that Patrick Grady has been granted a plenary Stalking No Contact Order against William Schmalfeldt of Elkridge, Maryland,

Schmalfeldt is prohibited by court order from communicating to or about Grady in any forum or social media.

But that’s okay, right?

Actually, no.

Schmalfeldt doesn’t need Hoge to make sure of anything. Schmalfeldt is sure. Because…SCHMALFELDT. Sure enough to swear an oath under penalty of perjury (up to $1000 fine, up to 90 days imprisonment, or both) that Grady is me, and I am Grady.

So here he is, ordered by the court not to write about Grady, and bound legally by his own sworn oath not to write about Krendler, because HE SAYS I AM GRADY.


Stupid people call this an “Oh, Fuck! What Have I Done?” moment.

Everyone else calls it a “What A Cute Little Corner You’ve Painted Yourself Into!” moment.

I just call it FUN.

I have it on “competent authority” that Grady is perfectly willing, as he has demonstrated by his recent trip to Maryland, to take Schmalfeldt at his word and treat any communication toward or about me as CONSISTENT WITH HIS SWORN OATH to be a communication toward or about GRADY, and a violation of the Stalking No Contact Order.

And reported accordingly. Every single time.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

92 thoughts on “Interesting Thing About The Law”

  1. Hey, not only is he a perjurer, a "breaking the no stalking order" , he's doing it while violating the spirit of a federal order to remove copyrighted material from his websites, books and audio, and he's breaking a state court order while peddling for resale audio child rape fantasies of troop 69.

    And they said he was a one trick Pony

  2. Did the "Round Mound of Unsound" actually link to one of Hoge's articles!?

    Oh dear. Not good Bill, not good.

    Wonder what Pat's going to do? (Did Bill ever pay his judgement?)

    1. Is signing your name under the penalty of perjury a felony anywhere?

      "Patrick G. Grady (also know as) "Paul Krendler""

      He seems pretty damn sure he knew Krendler was Grady when he signed his name to that document.


    2. Furthermore, is it even a crime to have fertilizer shipped to your own residence in Maryland?

      1. He conveniently omits the fact that he intentionally submitted the Sea Hag to potential injury by forcing her to open the TuppoShit.

        The Commodore is such a manly man. No wonder she hit him in the forehead. I wonder if she mocked him again when started to cry.

    3. Ooooh, I found this:

      Prohibited.- A person may not willfully and falsely make an oath or affirmation as to a material fact: ... in an affidavit made to induce a court or officer to pass an account or claim; ...

      Penalty.- A person who violates this section is guilty of the misdemeanor of perjury and on conviction is subject to imprisonment not exceeding 10 years.

      That'd be 2010 MD Code Criminal Law, Title 9, Subtitle 1, Section 9-101 Perjury

  3. Now Willy is into his "please tell me how I'm screwing up you guys! For realz!" portion of his fledgeling feldtdown.

    Willy, you stepped in it, you got to deal with the smell.

  4. Too hilarious, the best yet, beats the shit weekend, Wow, the mental vision of one painting one's self in a corner

    If shakey designed firearms the hammer would be at the other end of the barrel

    1. Hey look Kimby, I designed a gun just for you and me. Cause we are besties. Right? RIGHT? Kimby? Kimby?????

    1. Especially considering we have him swearing on paper, in a legal document, under penalty of perjury that Pat Grady is "also known as" Paul Krendler, not, I think, or he may be, but definitely aka. And now he's begging us to tell him if that's true.

      Willy, if you didn't know when you signed that paper, you shouldn't have said it!

  5. AAAAAND we have another admission against interest!

    Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 13m 13 minutes ago
    And how we're all in a tizzy about signing "under penalty of perjury" when Hoge lied doing so, the Causeys lied doing so, as did Grady.

    "They did it so I can too!"

    1. He'll talk big until he gets that knock on the door. Then it's "OPEN THE FLOOD GATES!!!"

      Poor Sea Hag. Maybe next time he'll break his neck picking up that candy bar.

    2. He has yet to prove any of these allegations, and yet right up there ^^^ is proof of his own perjury.

    3. Oh and is "tizzy" the same as giggle fit? This is as funny as that cat that plays piano on America's Funniest Videos, or maybe the kid that hits his dad in the junk trying to learn to bat, or ... Oh I could go on and on.

      My sides hurt from laughing so much.

  6. Wow, he's already at the crying phase of his feldtdown.

    That escalated quickly.

    1. at the threats phase......

      Never see one go so fast! He'll be off Twitter in an hour!

      1. Willy, since I have your attention, why did you lie on that petition when you wrote that Pat Grady was "also known as" Paul Krendler"? We all know that's a lie because you admitted it.

  7. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 2m 2 minutes ago
    At the time, I believed it to be true. Can you prove I was right or wrong? No? Then go make me a sandwich.

    So what changed between then and today?

    I simply cannot believe you fell for that AGAIN!

    Keep digging Willy.

  8. Say, he keeps claiming that someone threatened his wife. I can't find it. Not surprising since Bill is a proven liar. Does anyone see a threat? Bueller? Bueller????

      1. Good think I limbered up the LULZ muscles today. Bill is being off the hook stupid even for him.

  9. So within the space of 10 days or so we have Willy admitting, in writing, he's a stalker, harasser and perjurer.

    What should we go for next?


  10. It sure is nice to see Oliver Wendell Jones gamble with his own freedom like this.

    Poor, poor Gail.

      1. Where shall I report to prison? Since William has yet to be wrong - unless it somehow is legally convenient for him several months after the fact - I suppose that there's just no avoiding the hoosegow.

        I do tend to agree that since William has stated under oath in more than one venue that Krendler is Grady and is continuing contact, he's in material breach of the order. His Twitter stream is little more than setting the stage for an insanity defense, probably because there isn't one that applies to stupidity.

        But just think of how excited the Howard County Police will be to see him. Again.

        However, unlike William, I'm not one of the century's most beloved legal minds.

  11. "Now if there was only a way to track down the owner of a bitcoin code number..."

    "By the power vested in me by the International Society of Yellow Journalists, the Amazon Federal Police, Interpol and Muhammad Ali, I hereby ORDER you to disclose the owner of this bitcoin code. If you do not respond by 7pm Eastern time, I will be forced to continue begging at 7:01pm Eastern time. The choice is yours. You don't want to see an angry Inspector Jiggles."

    "Go fuck yourself!!"


    1. What, exactly, does Willy think he would do even if he could find who paid for the "service"?

      I mean, other than mope and bluster incoherently.

    2. This, I am sure, is less a problem of tracing bitcoin transactions and more a problem of finding a prosecutor or attorney who gives a damn.

      1. Oh, no, I feel quite certain that, even after having found a prosecuter that gives a damn, tracing BitCoin transactions will still elude him. Math, and all that...

    1. I'm of a mind that William should use some of the $3 million he got from Hoge and Krendler in his investigation.

      He "won," didn't he?

      1. Let's see....he had to take down all infringing material. He got shit in return. (ha!). Yep, by Bill's standards, that's "winning".

        1. William's the sort of fellow that would crawl away from being gang-raped by bikers saying "Well, one of them accidentally brushed against it, so who really,/em> won here?"

          It would just be difficult to understand on account of all the broken teeth.


  12. "He's already told his pals he did it, I'm told.."

    1. No one talks to you except the Sea Hag (pleading for mercy)
    2. You are so full of shit, Gail wants to change YOU!!!

    1. And even if you were right, Shakey. There isn't a fucking thing you could do about it.

      Not. One. Damn. Thing.

      Except maybe issue some more women's Irish Sunglasses...

    2. I would indeed be surprised if anyone but the Sea Hag talked to you.

      Do you think I mailed that to you, Shakey?


  13. At first I could not believe my eyes.....

    That the Great Judge Learned "Sweaty" Hand aka The Elkridge Horror aka Bill "No Neck" Schmalfeldt actually filled out paragraph 3 of his petition incorrectly.

    He actually admitted some horrific crimes in such a stupid careless manner.

    Actually, this mistake describes Schmalfeldt's life to a tee.

    "Trying to do a vast job with a half-vast portfolio" You can't even coat the hot dogs right, you moron!


  14. " Shall I take your non-denial as an admission? "

    Take whatever you like, Inspector. And stick it sideways up Gail's twat.

    WHOOPS. I mentioned her name.

    I should have heeded your empty threat.

    1. Canin Boy logic: Everybody who hasn't denied it, sent it. First EPWJ, now Howard. Who's next?

      Donald Trump?
      Hillary Clinton?
      Ian McKellen?
      Derek Jeter?

      Have the kids denied it yet?


    1. Wasn't Patrick supposed to have sent it? That was the story last week. Now Howard is the suspect?

      There really is nothing quite like detective work being conducted in public.

      How does Gail not drink?

  15. OK, I've spent the evening doing productivish fun stuff including catching up on this season of Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D. so maybe I missed something, but how does he possibly think there will be fingerprints of the alleged American who paid for it on a plastic tub bought in Slovakia, packed by a Slovakian and sent from Slovakia by the Slovakian?

    The Liberal Grouch
    If the fingerprints on the tub are anywhere in the nationwide files, then that person can expect a visit. Howard.

    1. files..BWAHAHAHAHAH..

    2. He seems to think that the person responsible shipped the package to Slovakia and then it was reshipped back to the US.

    1. No dummy that would mean you've been stalking and harassing the wrong person for months. Oh and I saw Matt and Chris on November 4th(election night). LMAO!!!!!! You have no clue fatboy. Lets talk about harassing phone calls. The same ones EPWJ , Hoge and Heather have received. You want to go there. Lets dance fat fuck. Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

      1. Damn, I missed it! I heard he was using his investigative jouralistism skills to find the shit burglar!

  16. If the Elkridge Horror wrote in his email what he says he wrote in his email then he really is one of the dumbest human beings alive.

  17. It was nice to see the story of how William got the boo-boo on his noggin ... "embellished." That was adorable.

    1. Wait, but it was time-travelling pony poop, right?

      Doesn't that narrow it down right there?

      1. 1863. It was a fine year for horse poop. Direct from the battlefields of Pennsylvannia. Historically significant and with the fine redolence of rich American grain by-products. An excellent selection for anyone's retaliatory fecal needs.


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