An Email To…the FEDS!!

The Lord of the Monkeydance sent me the email which appears after the jump. Other recipients include:

– Wayne Kirwan
– Dario Broccolino
– Raymond Trodden
– Jim Marshall
– Judge Hollander
– Howard County Police Liaison
– Someone in Carroll County
– Kenneth Grote

Enjoy!

In Which “Paul Krendler” Apparently Admits He and WJJ Hoge Fabricated Evidence in Recent Copyright Suit
—————————————–
December 11, 2014 at 8:00 PM

RE: Howard County Police Report, Case #140120508
HOGE v SCHMALFELDT (Copyright Infringement Suit) 1:14-cv-01683-ELH in the US District Court for the District of Maryland, Northern Division

Dear “Paul Krendler”:

I must tell you I enjoyed your little bit of fiction in tonight’s post on Thinking Man’s Zombie. Feeling a bit nervous about that e-mail I see. So nervous, you create plausible deniability by claiming — in what you will no doubt call “fiction” — that you boys “ginned up” the e-mail that the feds can use to trace you through WJJ Hoge.

If I may quote you…

http://thinkingmanszombie.wordpress.com/2014/12/11/a-visit-from-the-feds/

IMG_4543.PNG
For your sake, as well as Hoge’s, I hope this IS a work of fiction on your part. Not as good as “Ded Jed,” perhaps, but slick. Thing is, if true, you’ve just caused a bit of trouble for yourself and Mr. Hoge, as the e-mail to which you refer was entered as evidence in Hoge’s misbegotten copyright lawsuit against me. It was his motion to dismiss my motion for Summary Judgment. You recall that, right?

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Here’s his list of exhibits,

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And here is the e-mail you CLAIM in your “fiction” was “ginned up” to send me on a wild goose chase.

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As you can see, “Paul,” I’ve copied officials with the Howard County Police and State’s Attorney’s office, the Carroll County Police and State’s Attorney’s office, and the presiding judge in the Copyright Infringement case that your “fiction” claims you and Mr. Hoge, 20 Ridge Rd., Westminster, MD, “ginned up” an exhibit for. Not being a lawyer, I don’t know what Mr. Hoge can be charged with. And as I am unable to contact him because of the purloined peace order he obtained through deception in August, someone else is going to have to tell him that you have implicated him in a potential attempt to defraud the US Government.

I will leave it to the law enforcement officials copied on this e-mail to see what, if anything, can and should be done. We both realize that Hoge knows where you live, as — if the above e-mail is true and not forged, as you claim in your “fiction” — and I’m sure the proper authorities will wish to contact me.

In the name of “fun” you have jeopardized your anonymity and freedom, and that of Mr. Hoge. I fully intend to find out who mailed an improperly packaged Tupperware container of horse dung to my home, “Paul.” My Parkinson’s disease has done nothing to weaken my resolve to hold whoever committed that vile offense to my family responsible.

Feel free to contact me any time.

William M. Schmalfeldt
Address and Email Redacted

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

155 thoughts on “An Email To…the FEDS!!”

  1. FUN!

    What he doesn't understand is that government officials receive tons of such "evidence" from ...unbalanced... individuals like Cousin Bill.

    It's obviously from a crank, so it'll be immediately shitcanned, or, if particularly outré, pinned to the bulletin board in the break room for laughs.

    YUP, FUN!

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    1. I think they're still mystified that an actual adult would prance about, advertising his impotence with such enthusiasm. I know that I still marvel at it, and I've been following the old boy for years.

      Give them time.

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    2. That would be a completely ineffective use of a bullet. We all know you'd have to shoot him in the ass to do any real damage.

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  2. I'm continually impressed by Shakey's self-congratulation in "figuring out" the one way he's finally GOT his enemies. Newsflash, dummy- nothing you have deduced or demanded matters, or has a consequence, to ANYONE. It always boils down to "somebody said something mean to me on the Internet." NOBODY CARES.

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    1. “Words are things. The words he is in possession of he cannot be deprived of. Their authority transcends his ignorance of their meaning.”

      ― Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West

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    2. You sneak into the courtroom, hit the judge over the head with a rubber chicken, snatch the order that he automatically signs out of his hand and run like HELL. THAT's how your purloin a peace order. lolz!

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  3. Bill Schmalfeldt's life is such that his top priority is to find out who mailed him a tupperware container of horse manure. It's good to have goals.

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      1. The "dude"? Nah, the sad pathetic lump is fucking sad and pathetic.

        The Dude on the other hand; abides.

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  4. I quote from one of the genii who enjoy these pages (I can't use the term Master cuz Dumbass's readfail interprets that as Christ), "You dumb fuck! This is the internet, not a court room! I can lie right in your face and you can't do shit! Ha, Ha, and fucking Ha!".

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      1. sorry couldn't remember the source. Props to thee Linguistic Smith of cleverness.

        I still have to level up 6 or 7 times before I can quest for the +4 Keyboarrd of Snark and uncork similar gems.

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  5. Not being a lawyer, I don’t know what Mr. Hoge can be charged with.

    I've facepalmed so many times in the last 2 weeks I think I have dain bramage.

    But this one takes the cake.

    Also, why is Bill so concerned about a suit that he's been telling us he won?

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    1. "Also, why is Bill so concerned about a suit that he’s been telling us he won?"

      Because he's a lying cunt. And a psychopath that's decided that if he don't like it, it must be illegal.

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    1. "We'll see how funny Hoge thinks it is, Krendler setting him up for a felony."

      Welp, now we know...it's exactly "LMAO" funny.

      Question asked, and answered.

      Thank you, Professor Hoge, for clarifying that.

      Morning, Cousin Bill. Have you figured out just how pwned you were, last night?

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  6. One more comment before I go back to the Real World ...

    In that List of Exhibits the Cabin Boy™ included in his email, there is a reference to one of his blog posts from last June that deals with some "big time federal beef" I was supposed to be facing.

    Where's the beef?

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  7. "potential" "if anything can and should" "if true"

    These are things that should be cleared up before copying "officials with the Howard County Police and State’s Attorney’s office, the Carroll County Police and State’s Attorney’s office, and the presiding judge in the Copyright Infringement case".

    "I fully intend to find out who mailed an improperly packaged Tupperware container of horse dung to my home, “. Yeah. Fully intend in one hand and shit in the other. Not. Going. To. Happen.

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  8. Sad Cousin Bill.

    Still unclear on the difference between "fiction" and "evidence".

    Still unclear on that no one "owes" him an explanation.

    Still unclear on just how big a loser he actually is.

    Still unclear that reality doesn't bend to his will.

    Still unclear on how mentally ill he must be.

    What a miserable sad fuck is he...

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  9. "Now, I have to get law enforcement involved, and if the e-mail was false, then some folks will pay dearly for Krendler's childish prank."

    No, you didn't have to pester law enforcement. You could have just walked away, ignored the fiction, and avoided wasting even one second of "law enforcement" time.

    And, no one will pay for anything, as, mark my words, your childish, mewling, demented complaints will be ignored, again, for the nth time.

    You were an awful brat, and, if possible, the sorriest excuse for an adult human I've ever seen.

    Grow up, already!

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  10. "All I asked Krendler was a simple question. Were you just "joking" about fabricating the e-mail. A straight answer would have been nice."

    Okay:

    FUCK OFF, BILL! NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! NO ONE OWES YOU AN ANSWER TO YOUR FUCKING NOSY QUESTIONS!

    Straight enough for you?

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  11. I am surprised that BS did not report Krendler for murder. After all, Krendler virtually ADMITTED to murder by saying that his secretary has been missing for fourteen months. Yes, yes, there was plausible deniability provided in the bagel story, but what about that FRESHLY PAINTED shotgun and machete. The clues are there: even an idiot can see them.

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  12. Folks, I think "Bill" is asking important questions. When the US-PISS comes to call, I foresee them also liking into the following:
    Is Krendler really a zombie?
    What happened to his secretary?
    Is he really a detective?
    Can he really smell brains?
    Does he really eat brains?
    Does he really drink whisky, or is he a bourbon man?
    Does John Schmidt really exist?
    Where is John Schmidt and did Krendler eat him?
    Why does "Bill" Schmalfeldt care about the exhibit since he claims he "won" the copyright case?

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  13. It appears the Admiral has alerted all levels of law enforcement to view this blog.

    Everyone wave and say hi.
    And for the record, officers. We are not laughing WITH the Admiral.

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  14. So let me get this straight: Bill thinks that dialogue in a piece of fiction (written by a fictitious persona, depicting a variation on a well established fictitious literary meme) can be used as proof that a crime was committed?

    Then he really should be looking into who killed Roger Rabbit....

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      1. I agree, gin seems like nasty stuff to me - makes me think I'm eating a Christmas Tree.

        And I never got the hang of scotch. Coffee, beer, or bourbon for me.

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        1. I am well known as a fervent advocate of triple pot distilled single malt Irish whiskey, preferably older than 16 so consent is legal ... (Bushmill's 21 year old sherry finish is quite nice as is Red Breast 16 year old). Bourbon is a powerful but distant 2nd choice.

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      2. If you can get some, Junipero gin from Anchor Distilling in San Francisco is sublime. Also, Tanqueray and diet tonic, with freshly squeezed lime, is delicious and has an excellent buzz to calorie ratio.

        And Lagavulin 16 is awesome, and a steal if you live in a state where Costco stores sell liquor.

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  15. Let's see. There were two possibilities. First, Hoge, who has repeatedly run legal circles around BS, was stupid enough to submit a fraudulent exhibit to a court. Second, Krendler, who has repeatedly punked BS, fabricated an incident in a work that many might view as fiction. After deep reflection, BS concluded that the first possibility was likely enough to warrant acting upon it.

    I can hear the recipients now. "Sweet Jesus, I knew this was too good to last. Started the day off with a nice little quickie. Had a fabulous omelette at the diner. Light traffic getting to work. And it's Friday. Fate is never that kind. I knew something would go wrong before the day was over. But I didn't expect ANOTHER complaint from BS. Oh no. It's a new one about Hoge and Krendler. Do I really have to interview BS again. I feel a strong bout of blue flu coming on."

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  16. Hey, I have a new game called comparative and superlative. I'll go first.

    Oblivious. Obliviouser. Schmalfeldtian.

    Your turn.

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      1. I must award Ray the prize. He stuck with adjectives, but made a new one up. Double points. Too many Honorable Mentions to mention.

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  17. It's adorable that William, after years of impotent threats of calling child welfare agencies, specious lawsuits, terms of incarceration and unending personal humiliation, thinks that he still intimidates anyone. He's not unlike the softheaded child that convinces himself that he'll be in the NFL someday, so he never leaves the house without wearing his Packers helmet.

    I know that I shouldn't find someone's ignorance and profound mental illness darling, but i do. God help me, I do.

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  18. Better still, we all know that it's only a matter of days before the return of Above-It-All Bill, changes his Twitter handle and blogs, pretending that this latest humiliation never happened.

    It is true that William's "Parkinson’s disease has done nothing to weaken (his) resolve to hold whoever committed that vile offense to (his) family responsible." His singular lack of discipline does that. He was only diagnosed with Parkinson's in his forties, but he's been a joke of a human being for far longer than that.

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      1. It's been a while since "You're Killing Me" Bill has made an appearance.

        I miss him. Even more, I like seeing him whimper away from a fight that he started because it threatens his very physical existence, only to start another one days later.

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      2. I've noticed that as well.
        Not sure exactly when the last "you're killing me bil" was.
        Is this a paradigm shift?

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  19. Bill Schmalfeldt @ParkinsonPundit

    Fuck it. You've provided enough probable cause for the police to pull you in and ask you about it. And to get to you, they go through Hoge.

    Ask about who was the owner of the buick you STOLE?

    What..........A......................Moron.......................

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    1. Interesting that Bill now thinks he's the arbiter of who the police will question. I'm sure we'll hasten the next step of the current meltdown by pointing out that he is NOT in charge of the investigation, though the very assumption that there even is one is a pretty big assumption (and that goes for the 'investigations" of any of the crimes he's been accusing all of us of committing the last few years.)

      Still waiting on the USPIS/FBI/HoCoPD to contact me over who ordered the package. Still not holding my breath. I do hope the feds decide to investigate his letter telling me he'll accuse me of a crime that didn't happen, and that I have absolutely nothing to do with anyway. Threatening people with having their reputation ruined and having to do time on a federal charge just to salve your own butthurt really isn't behaviour that should be rewarded.

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      1. I wouldn't challenge the legal acumen of Oliver Wendell Jones if I were you. He'll paragraph 83 you to your local media, and then you'll be stuck dealing with the parade that they throw you.

        On an unrelated note, I think that I've been overly negative today, and I'm the type of chap that prefers to accentuate the positive. So I'll point out what William did right in last night's ridiculous little missive to The Man.

        He spelled his own name correctly. He doesn't always.

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    2. Did they ever recover that Buick?

      Or find the owner?

      Come on, Bill, tell us, or we'll have to assume you are hiding something!

      Just a couple of polite questions, ya know how that is, right?

      A straight answer would be nice.

      Otherwise, we might have to call the cops.

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      1. "I haven't driven a car since 2009, but now I'm accused of stealing a BUICK?"

        Then why do you have a drivers license?

        You do realize *driving* is not a requirement for *stealing* a car?

        Why did you steal the Buick, Bill? Did you dispose of it in your chop-shop? And, most importantly, what did you do with the owner's body?

        Just a few polite questions. Your answers can clear this all up, no problems.

        No need to get the cops involved, unless you refuse to answer, which proves you are hiding something, right?

        We wouldn't want to have to call CPS to take your kids, now would we?

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      2. Now Roy, don't confuse the boy. You have to give him a deadline. May I suggest 21:45 UTC?
        But then, if he doesn't give you the answer, will you assume his guilt or continue to pester him for the answers?

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  20. BS might like to look up "probable cause." Here is a quote from my copy of Black's LD. "An apparent state of facts ... which would induce a reasonably intelligent and prudent man to believe ... that the accused person had committed the crime charged."

    Now that phrase " reasonably intelligent and prudent" may be incomprehensible to some, but that does not mean the phrase is meaningless. A reasonably intelligent and prudent man would not read what is an obvious spoof of a genre of fiction and deem it a confession of a crime, particularly when the only so-called evidence that any crime took place is the spoof itself.

    Unlike others, I do not believe BS is unusually stupid. He may pass the very low legal bar of being "reasonably intelligent," which does not require being a "quantum mechanic," but when we get to "prudent," well, at that point, all bets are off.

    Clown. Buffoon. Schmalfeldt.

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    1. ...reasonably intelligent and prudent man ...

      If you expect bil to understand "reasonable cause" there are four flaws in that phrase, and the conjunction ain't one.

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    1. I assure you that he's clapping his fat little hands together until they bleed. And to celebrate, he just ordered a new set of double-wide shirts with his name on them.

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  21. Chris Heather isn't married, and that's not his mom's name. Oh....wait...you mean "Bill" doesn't think Howard is Chris any more? After almost a year of defaming Chris Heather and his family all over the Internet? I missed an apology - did anyone else catch it?

    https://twitter.com/ParkinsonPundit/status/543517332799492096

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    1. DON'T YOU DARE MENTION DEBORAH AGAIN, SHAKEY. SHE IS A SAINT. YOU MAY NEVER AGAIN UTTER HER NAME OR ANY REFERENCE TO HER!!!!!111!!!1111!!!!

      Just kidding. I have no idea who she is.

      At latest count, this puts you at 11 faild0x. Care for an even dozen, you big fucking dummy?

      Care to send Sean another series of lineups?

      Are you catching all of this comedy, officers???

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  22. I recall "Bill" saying that if someone threw shit in his yard, he would crap on their dinner table while they were eating. Well, it appears that someone did. I wonder if he will sell tickets to the event.

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  23. You mean, ALL THE WAY BACK to two days ago?
    "I recall, back when I believed Howard Earl was Chris Heather of Wisconsin..."
    ANY APOLOGIES FOR CHRIS HEATHER AND ALL OF US WHO TOLD YOU REPEATEDLY THAT HE WAS NOT HOWARD?

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    1. Like me, you f***ng a$$h@@e? I seem to recall part of what you were sending the cops after me for was to find out why I thought Chris and Howard weren't the same person.

      But no, I'm sure it was all a "trick" of his "investigative jounamilism", where he threatens people with stuff he knows isn't true or that he can't or won't carry through on to try to scare them enough to tell him stuff he has no legal right to be told.

      I have been wondering though how Bill has been able to claim with a straight face that they are the same person when he's also been claiming for months that Howard lives in AZ and he knows that Chris is in WI. It's not like the two states are exactly next door to each other.

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  24. Yes, Inspector. I will put you down for a solid 11 faild0x.

    I am so looking forward to the Shaker's Dozen.

    Now call the police IMMEDIATELY on your latest obsession. DO IT NOW.

    Or you have a sloppier pussy than Gayle!!

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  25. So Willy's "evidence" that Howard is, well, Howard is that his "house" is two miles away from the cable company?

    Huh?

    Oh and Willy, anyone with a few functioning brain cells can figure out the address of that house from the map and the pictures. I realize that leaves you out, but that includes most other bipeds.

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    1. Did howard say something at some point about being two miles from the cable company? Because it seems a really weird thing to base an identification on. And yes, it's dead easy to figure out the street address from those pictures, unless you are a demented idiot.

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  26. "Now, to check out Arizona's laws against harassment and see if they want to do anything about the shit Howard sent via Twitter."

    How often do you see two launches in one day?

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      1. It took me 30 seconds to find the address from all the maps and pictures Willy has in the post.

        So much for "I'm not doxing".

        Not that I'm saying he's right, or anything......

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    1. Two launches in 24 hours?

      Pretty rare.

      I'm just chuckling about how this will end for Chucklehead Bill.

      Plan:

      1. Pick a name out of a phone book in Arizona or Florida (they have strong anti-harassment laws, and love to extradite).

      2. Establish an online identity using that name as a "handle."

      3. Befuddle Chucklehead Bill until he's foaming, using that handle.

      4. Start dropping "careless clues" for Bill that point back to the person picked at random from the phone book.

      5. Rile Bill. Drop more "careless clues". Repeat.

      6. Wait to harvest LULZ when he "connects the dots", and starts harassing, doxing, and threatening the random person.

      Easy, FUN, and Cousin Bill will burn himself again, and again, and again!

      He never learns...

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  27. Cool! He can add violating Google Maps TOS to the list of idiot moves.

    By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree that when using the Products or the Content, you will not: (a) defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten or otherwise violate the legal rights (such as rights of privacy and publicity) of others; [http://bit.ly/1GkDw10]

    You can personally use an image from the application (for example on your website, on a blog or in a word document) as long as you preserve the copyrights and attributions including the Google logo attribution.[http://bit.ly/1qBwqkp]

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  28. For someone who looks the way Bill does, he sure seems determined to suggest other people are ugly, doesn't he.

    Last I checked making disparaging comments about people's appearance is classic bullying.

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  29. Welcome to the Wide World of Faildoxees Howard!

    Do me next Dumbass! Do me Dumbass!

    Grab a couple slim and vague ancillary data bits and threaten to stuff them up your ass if they don't whisper the secret location to the little gnome that lives in a cave in your left thumb.

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      1. Kyle is welcoming me to the world of faild0xes? I got that t-shirt years ago from Shakey.

        I can 100% guarantee that this will not be his final, REVEaL of my "identity."

        Any takers???

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  30. "We found 52 exact matches for Earl in Phoenix AZ, and 48 possible matches."

    Yeah you nailed him right to the wall...

    unless his family name isn't really Earl,
    unless his name isn't Howard,
    unless he totally lied to you an none of the names or stuff online is actually true
    unless he's a chick,
    unless that visitor from Mesa isn't him
    unless he used a proxy browser to visit your page
    unless he visits your pages while travelling just to gas you with strange IP's
    unless he didn't visit your page
    unless you're off your meds,
    unless you no sense of logical connection whatsoever,
    unless you have sense of probability whatsoever,
    unless you have absolutely no comprehension of causality whatsover,
    unless your dickdent wiring system is turned up to eleventy!1!1
    unless you accidentally ate out of the wrong Tupperware and its fucked your brain up more,
    and on,
    and on,
    and on...

    are you even capable of realizing what kind and how many holes there are in your thinking?

    now getcher fuckin' shine box bitch.

    Yours Truly,
    not Kyle Kiernan
    not in Tampa Florida

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  31. "You can stop with the comments to the blog, David. Does Kiana know you do this sort of thing?"

    Just capturing it all for posterity. Or more likely, tomorrow, when he changes his "mind" again....

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      1. Howard, you really shouldn't be insulting cat shit. Like rocks, you're being needlessly cruel by comparing the lying cunt Bill Schmalfeldt to them.

        Cat poop can be composted. Rocks can be useful in a myriad of ways.

        Bill Schmalfeldt? When he shuffles off this mortal coil, the world will be a better place.

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  32. The fun ends too soon. When Gail goes out to turn tricks, she should leave The Commodore 100 MPH taped to his chair so he can play as long as he likes.

    BAD TRUCK STOP WHORE. BAD!

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  33. Wow, two faildoxes of Howard in one afternoon! Earlier this year, about February or so, "Bill" managed to pull two in one day, as well. A rare accomplishment, but I am sure he can hit three in one day if he tries.

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  34. "And that is your official story now, Howard. That is you. And your lovely bride. "

    DAMN, Shakey. You found a bitch to call my wife that almost as hideous as Gail.

    BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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  35. "And TAPEWORM says the information is incorrect, because he says so, Again, technically not a dox. It could be. "

    Then DO IT, Shakey. Quit talking about it.

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      1. You get full credit for number 12.
        By the way, a really devious mind would be quietly cultivating multiple online fake personas to trap unwary pretend journamalist a.

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  36. Both versions of the www.howardcountyexaminer.com /2014/ 12/12/ ladies-and-gentlemen-howard-earl/ page are available at the internet archive. So while Google may not be able to go after him, I think he's just earned himself another Arizone no-contact order. Someone should let Kandi know that some internet perv is posting pictures of her all over his web page.

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  37. https://twitter.com/ParkinsonPundit/status/543600492275040256

    Why, it seems like just yesterday that "Bill" was cockily claiming that Chris Heather's pals had betrayed him because they were sick of him. The stalking harasser, "Bill Schmalfeldt," has spent most of the year smearing Chris Heather and his family. Before that it was Greg Patent and Jeremy Kinsey and Robin Causey."Bill Schmalfeldt" is a "Deranged cyber stalker" and "adjudicated harasser" who enters his "sweaty palmed happy place" when engaging in the degradation of others.

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  38. Ah, the Internet peeping Tom admits he's posting photos of a woman who has never contacted or harmed him. I wonder what she would think if she heard his Boy Scout rape "parody"? And what's with posting photos of women and children? Again?
    https://twitter.com/ParkinsonPundit/status/543602334862180352

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    1. Where did pictures from his facebook and twitter come into this discussion? We're talking his about posting photos of a woman he can't even prove is actually married to the person he is stalking. She has certainly never had any sort of contact with Mr. Bill.

      But hey, I wonder what the police in Mesa would think of that? Maybe I should drop them a line, just to let them know that one of their residents is being targeted by a known cyberstalker and internet bully, who already has two no-contact orders against him in AZ, not to mention the IL and MD ones....

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      1. I already made the call. Make sure you emphasize that an adjudicated harasser, as determined by local authorities is stalking this woman.
        If you are not sure of Shakey's address, DM me.
        Mesa Police: 480-644-2211
        Maricopa County Sheriff: (602) 876-1011

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    2. Gee, wasn't it spelled out clearly enough in the Hoge DMCA case, that Twitter's TOS means if you put something on Twitter, you are putting it into the public domain to share and rebroadcast? I mean, that's kind of how Twitter works. I expect Facebook would be similar.

      So it isn't LG saying it's OK, it's Twitter and Facebook. The stupid is strong with this one.

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  39. Hey, Shakey....Don't you EVER get tired of me doing this TO YOU??
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-W1hgwh265fU/UQ_qdnkatvI/AAAAAAAApsY/7vQvPPVA3kE/s320/Point_Laugh.jpeg

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  40. Bill Schmalfeldt just doesn't get it. (Yeah, I know, we're all shocked, shocked, shocked!)

    "Seems to me it's Howard's call to make. If he can prove I am incorrect, that is. Can you, Howard?"

    Bill Schmalfeldt seems intent on getting himself thrown in jail. We're not his friends, and he's certainly done his best to invoke righteous indignation from everyone he interacts with. Why would we waste time on someone we despise, who has proven himself impervious to logic and fact?

    You don't reason with a trainwreck. You make sure you're out of the way, and watch the disaster unfold. And if that train is named "City of Elkridge," you laugh your ass off.

    If he insists on reacting to political arguments, insults, and petty pranks with criminal behavior... Oh, well. We'll see how that whole "respond to poop in my yard with criminal trespass and assault" thing works out for him.

    There is one thing one can guarantee when dealing with anything Bill Schmalfeldt is involved in: It's gonna end badly.

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  41. Cousin Bill glimpses his life in a mirror, and almost has a glimmer:

    "Anything to escape the dreary reality of a filthy home, no future, just poverty and squalor. If the profile fits, wear it[...]"

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    1. Self-awareness fail No. 32770 from Bill Schmalfeldt.

      I've also noticed that he has a habit of regurgitating insults used against him... Not surprising, considering his lack of creativity. I just wonder if he's waiting a brief while because he think's we'll have forgotten our own words... Or if the drain-bramaged cunt doesn't even consciously remember what's been used against him and it's just his lizard-brain dredging it up from his fetid psyche.

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  42. The things I miss whilst off doing other things.

    It appears that William hasn't grown weary of Arizona restraining orders yet. Why have two when you can get four!

    Of couse, he'll bluster about perjury before the hearing before assuring everyone that it makes no nevermind, Then he'll rant about the unfairness of it all.

    There's a word that describes doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, isn't there?

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    1. The problem at this moment is that additional restraining orders don't hurt him in any major way. He's already got a record as a stalker and harasser.

      Anyone he targets needs to learn from what happened after Mr. Hoge agreed to mediation rather than criminal charges, and say the words: PROSECUTE TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW.

      Perhaps three hots and a cot with Bubba will convince Bill Schamfeldt to alter his behavior.

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  43. Bill Schmalfeldt @ParkinsonPundit · 12m 12 minutes ago
    If anyone is in touch with "nottherealbill" please contact him, tell him to check his gmail account. The story goes live at 1pm ET.

    Giving the subject of a report 28 minutes on a weekend to comment on a story? There are William's fabled journalistic ethics at work!

    Of course, this will be yet another failed dox that blows his fingers off and will be endlessly entertaining to watch.

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  44. Bill is now foreshadowing another faildox:

    "If anyone is in touch with "nottherealbill" please contact him, tell him to check his gmail account. The story goes live at 1pm ET."

    Fuck the worthless deranged cunt. Who the fuck does he think he is? Maybe the Assmuching Admiral should finish up and FESS UP TO HIS PREVIOUS FAILDOXES before embarking on another Sail Into Fail.

    "please contact him"

    Why doesn't Schmalfeldt contact him himself? After all, being the master doxer investigative journalist and all, he has to have the contact information!

    "tell him to check his gmail"

    Why are we to do that? To provide him with some dubious fig-leaf for the criminal stalking he's planning on committing? Fuck him, I won't become an accessory to a crime for a friend, let alone some pasty-faced tranny-slurping psychotic asshole I've never met and wouldn't piss on if his guts were on fire.

    "The story"? Doesn't the fucktard remember? HE IS NOT A JOURNALIST. That profession has ETHICS, and Mr. Malone did a really fine job PROVING Bill Schmalfeldt does not live up to them.

    "goes live at 1pm ET."

    Ooooh! A DOOM CLOCK! Never saw that before!

    The wit and originality of Bill Schmalfeldt comes to the fore once more!

    If anyone is in touch with Bill Schmalfeldt, could they please pass on the message that he's aboring, predictable, worthless failure and he needs to go die in a fire.

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    1. As if we all automatically even know who this person is as well. Biwwyy is just pissing up the flagpole trying to yank chains.

      Go away Bill. Just go away. Seriously, that's all anyone has ever really wanted.

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      1. Funny thing, that's all Bill claims he has ever wanted either. But whenever we leave him alone, within a week he's throwing such a targeted tantrum that we can't. Does he go after the two or three people who've not been leaving him alone? No, or at least not solely. He goes after folks like me who haven't made a single comment about him since the 24 hour period right after he "went away". Part of him (a seemingly large part) enjoys making people mad and/or scared, not that he'd ever admit that.

        He's like gollum searching for his precioussss; he thinks we have it, so he can never leave us alone until he gets it. However, instead of a magic ring, he's looking for his "sterling reputation", and can't face the truth that we didn't take it, he gave it away himself, piece by nauseating, threatening piece of writing, phone calls, emails, and tweeets.

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  45. Bill Schmalfeldt just tweeted:

    "If the subject of the story wishes to comment, he can send an e-mail or use the comment form."

    Or, he can go straight to filing a criminal complaint.

    Guess what I'd recommend?

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  46. Bill Schmalfeldt has blocked Rain. (Yes, yes... Shocked, shocked, shocked again!)

    "I thought I told you people. NO TROLLS!"

    I guess he's prejudiced against his own kind. RACIST! 🙂

    Meanwhile, I wonder how well the lying, hypocritical cunt Bill Schmalfeldt is enjoying the results of blocking ME? If only I could read his tweets and comment on them!

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Let the Horde Speak Out!