Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch

This may or may not be a Bonus Earworm; mostly it’s an excuse to say “Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch.”

Because fresh, delicious mockery is called for, and I’m not feeling it right now, let this be your point and laugh open thread.

But before I post, I will offer a couple alternate theories to contrast the dastardly crime spree that the World’s Worst Internet Investigator (Johnny Fatsign?) posits.

Alternate Theory #1

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is making connections where none exist.

Alternate Theory #2

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is being played. He has been getting played for three years. He has been getting played so hard and so thoroughly that he gets confused when he ISN’T being played.

Alternate Theory #3

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because #JohnnyFatsignIsBATSHITCRAZY.

Comments are open!


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

198 thoughts on “Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch”

  1. And here we see the sheer idiocy that is Willy:

    <I.Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 4m 4 minutes ago
    You realize, of course, the Seekrit Site has to go, too! Libel is libel if it's seen by more than one person.

    "I haven't see anything written on that blog, but I know it has libelous statements on it!"

    My God what a buffoon.

    1. True. He must not realize that we use that site to share prize - winning chili recipes and knitting patterns.


    Not at all, William. I'm sure that they're as unconcerned as I am.

    But you, you magnificent bastard, I think I love you. You bring me Joy!

    Also, think I may have a had a stroke. I could have SWORN that William tweeted three hours ago about Hoge "lying under oath" and "being called as a witness," but they aren't there now.

    I wonder why that is?

    1. Because he is a huge pussy of such magnitude that fully 66.6% of his wives had to seek out other men to make up for his pussyness.

  3. Can you imagine PussPuss's reaction if someone he has actually defamed demanded he scrub his blog/twitter of all defamation/libel and then refused to point out anything specific?

    Now can you imagine the judge's reaction when he tries to pull that?

    And I say judge because nothing here or else where is actionable, unless Pussy pisses away the money to file a civil suit doomed to lose for lack of evidence.

    1. He won't even have the decency to piss away his own money. He'll try to file in forma pauperis again and make all us long-suffering taxpayers foot the bill. Fucking mooch.

  4. "Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 3m 3 minutes ago

    We'll let my actions speak for me."

    you already have PussPuss, but pissing down your leg and shitting your pants doesn't skeer anyone but your dogs & wife.


    First, I thought it was 6:30.

    Second, why are you even pretending that you won't reappear by noon tomorrow, William?

    You don't know how to quit us. We complete you. And every other homoerotic movie reference that escapes me at the moment. We HAVE the mayo and you NEED the mayo! Why act otherwise.

    in the two years that I've been following you, you haven't shown a shred of discipline, self control or denial. You are Pavlov's dog.


  6. Ah Captain Pussy is now trying to DM with the people he's been threatening.

    Just a tip, you might get a quicker response from Paul if you actually tweet him, since regardless of your belief, he's not Patrick and Patrick hasn't been on twitter in days.

    but hey, just like your excellent friend, send a message to the wrong person at the wrong address and when you don't get a response claim "WIN!!1!"

    Lying liars gotta lie, cowards gotta cower and dumbass pussies gotta dumbass right Pussyfeldt??


    I think he meant "defer" but "default" works just fine. It's his manufacturer's setting.

    1. Indeed, I'm sure he sees jizz everywhere considering what a huge whiny pussy he is.

      1. Only when Paul mentions wrestling or mayonnaise. At that point, our lad sees not only jizz, but homosexual incest EVERYWHERE!

        He should really see someone about that.

      2. Oh he was, but they died.
        ( or so he was told, truth is he and his mom are hiding, in shame)

  8. and he still can't point to just one comment as evidence that anyone let alone Krendler, Heather, or EPWY have defamed or libeled him

    I'd say "You Lose Pussy"
    but then he already knows he's a loser.

  9. Ewwwwww. Says a guy with what appears to be a giant white dildo in his avatar.


    Two minutes to midnight
    The hands that threaten doom!

    Or something equally implausible, yet amusing.


    Bwah, bwah, bwah............

    1. Did we just survive the Apocalypse? I thought William SWORE that this blog would be gone at six Eastern.

      Did he lie AGAIN?

      1. He has the same magical thinking that his friend BK has. If he just believes hard enough, the power of his mind will make it happen.

    1. I note that it is 6:02 and he promised that his twitter feed was coming down at 6pm

      By his own rules, that makes him a liar.

      Of course he can't gloat if it comes down. I don't think he thought this through.

      1. He didn't even close the account, he just went private again.

        What is it that you good people say about lying liars?

  12. Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 9m 9 minutes ago

    I need to show you NOTHING, TecmoJizz! The right people have it already.

    HOW WILLY? How did you "show" them the libelous statements? On Twitter? NO. Email? NO? Posted on your many blogs? NO

    My God, you lie like a rug.

    1. Translation = I don't have anything I can use but I'm going to huff and puff and scare everyone into thinking I do cause I'm SuperPussy!!!

      what an idiot.


    Why do I doubt that with every fiber of my being?

    1. but he said he wasn't going to file didn't he?
      I guess he's going to make Gail file for him, or maybe his dogs.

      I do hope everyone made SS's of all his demands to be contacted by those he told NOT to contact him, and his "DOOM" threats if twitter feeds and blogs weren't erased.

      Like I've said before , it'll all be very useful in the countersuits.

      1. Or the Virginia and Wisconsin police make everyone go to federal court in Baltimore .. just because?

  14. I see his Twitter feed is now protected. Not quite the same thing as taken down, but hey, by hist standards pretty damn close.

    Now that it's private, I guess we can all sue him for libel on the twitter feed we can't see, right?

    1. Where's the Ka-BOOM?!?
      There was supposed to be an earth shattering KA_BOOM!!!!

      and Brave Sir Robin runs away, again.


          Sorry, maybe that's Brett. But it will do.

    1. Ha, he already deleted his pathetic tweet to his son on that account. Bill, let me give you a hint man. Your kids.....just leave them alone. Really, haven't you got the message yet? Just leave them alone. No trying to be funny tweets about trolls (Believe me when I say they know the troll is you), no passive aggressive "I"m fine by the way". Just leave them alone.

      1. which is exactly why he posts his threats and demands when he knows they won't be seen in a timely fashion.
        then declares ppl are "running" "hiding" "being quiet" etc etc
        when he knows damn well, they (unlike HIM) actually have lives and don't live on Twitter and endlessly refreshing a blog.

  15. If I were Paul, I would have made this site 'dark' for about 5 minutes at 6pm. Or re-directed it to some appropriate pic.

    Just for the lulz.

  16. There is one thing that William said earlier that I found fascinating and i wish I had saved.

    Specifically, he said that he wouldn't violate the agreement with John Hoge that settled their nastiness from this summer. William made quite a spectacle of how his current shenanigans wouldn't violate that agreement, as a matter of fact.

    But I keep being told that William WON that suit. Gave Hoge "the back of my hand," as I remember it.

    Seems a little queer that there'd need to be an agreement to be observed, given the Mighty Schmalfeldt's crushing victory, isn't it?

    I'm a simple man from another land. Please explain your strange foreign ways to me.

  17. All.

    My wife and my physician have both advised me to close my Twitter and Facebook accounts and to no longer visit and/or comment on these many blogs. They both feel that this harassment form Bill Schmlafeldt is detrimental to my failing health.

    Please keep in mind that this decision is mine alone and I was not intimidated by the spectre of a long drawn out legal battle.

    I wish you all the best of luck.


  18. BTW -- I took one for Team Lickspittle and actually listened to a couple of the tracks on the Blob's "POPULAR HILARITY FOR THE PROLETARIAT!"

    They're terrible. Not funny, nor entertaining, in the least. The Elkridge Horror has one very odd sense of "humor." Humor? Satire? Comedy? I remain unconvinced he has even the slightest clue as to what those words even mean.

    Just horrible. *SMH*

    Oh. And, who the hell in their right mind is going to drop $10.00 for crap they can listen to for free on the Internet. Quite the business man he is. *eyeroll*


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