Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch

This may or may not be a Bonus Earworm; mostly it’s an excuse to say “Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch.”

Because fresh, delicious mockery is called for, and I’m not feeling it right now, let this be your point and laugh open thread.

But before I post, I will offer a couple alternate theories to contrast the dastardly crime spree that the World’s Worst Internet Investigator (Johnny Fatsign?) posits.

Alternate Theory #1

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is making connections where none exist.

Alternate Theory #2

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is being played. He has been getting played for three years. He has been getting played so hard and so thoroughly that he gets confused when he ISN’T being played.

Alternate Theory #3

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because #JohnnyFatsignIsBATSHITCRAZY.

Comments are open!


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

198 thoughts on “Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch”

      1. When my wife was student teaching there, she got a half day off to vote. I asked, but never got a clear answer if you got a full day off if you voted twice.

    1. He's got a post at his website (I won't link, but it's easy to find) where he proves that Jerry Fletcher and Chris Heather are the same person, and Jerry/Chris is in a deep doo doo; there will be "Hell to pay" (and he better get out his wallet) because Bill will be reporting it all to Ashland, Howard County and Racine County.

      He asks if Chris/Jerry has ever heard of being in a "world of shit". I'm sure the answer is no, because that is so not a real phrase. 😀

      Pro writing tip: it's "world of hurt" or "pile of shit".

      1. Person A is his target. He doxes A as ChrisH. He realizes his target A is not ChrisH. He then doxes JerryF as ChrisH. Now JerryF is in deep doo. Seems like his real target must be ChrisH.

        Alternate Theory #3 still gets my vote.

      2. OK.. I hadn't seen that movie, but that is the first time I've ever seen/heard it. I actually read pile of shit the first time through his post because world of didn't make any sense to me.

        But I'll still stand by "pile of" for shit and "world of" for hurt for regular use; certainly that's what makes sense to the majority of readers.

  1. All I know is having pictures of young girls on your website, making audio sexual rape fantasy about underage girls on your radio show is more trouble than someone pointing out that democrat union teachers in WI are full of shit

  2. Someone gnawed through his restraints early and is showing more faked emails to police


    quick everyone run it's the cops!!!!!

    Maybe its time to update some reviews

    1. its like NEals complete asshattery website like he and matt had special super sekrite Syrian info and are translating it - for one Syrians don't speak Arabic dumbshit they speak Syrian asshats (Levantine) which is more French than Arabic - they use modern Arabic in education which has been widely rejected, in the north they speak Kurdish

      And even listening or being fluent - it takes discipline and hundreds if not thousands of man hours even more listening and researching on what they are talking about - something neither one of you possess the ability to focus and accomplish anything significant.

      If Matt had any marketable skills he could be employed making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in a cushy job in Italy Germany or England all expenses paid....

      Fuckin retards defending a guy who's in prison on rape - what a moron,

      YEah like Matt has University Doctorate level studies - I worked in Real estate in the middle east and ads had to be put in French or English its the only unambiguous terminology used, the one thing my wife and I learned in our decade there is verbal and written Arabic is wildly different and the Koran is like the King James bible no one understands it's language.

    2. DM me.

      He tells the police that Chris has broken the law. He lists the laws. He doesn't state how any of the particular laws have been broken. No particulars. No dates. He doesn't give the police anything to investigate. Just something to shake their heads over and file circularly.

      1. he didn't send then, he never does, not after the asskicking John had the police in Hoco lay on him so hard he's still pissing himself

        he was too scared to even go to court - afraid he would fear pee in front of the judge


      2. I've got something in the comments in the "seekrit" place. If you have time, I'd appreciate some feedback. And that goes for anyone else.

    3. I read about 75% of his new "book." It's awful. A review is not "false" simply because the author/producer/actor/director disagrees with it.

    4. Oh noes! He included the FBI, Twitter support, and Amazon in his tweet. Eric, run and hide while you can! They is after you! The Troll of Elkridge has commanded it.

      Holy shit that is one stupid dude.

  3. Zero
    A place holder
    Containing nothing
    Book Sales
    Police Contacts
    Moments of decorated bravery
    Blog followers

  4. And in the first (of many, no doubt) moment of unintended hilarity this morning, Bwilly describes someone else's tweets as "unhinged."


  5. In 2013 we have him asking for women to be ganged raped and children sold into sex slavery and he.... wants..... the police to open an investigation?

    And people wonder why Davis attacked a crippled man in a political ad was odd, I think its typical, typical idiotic liberal degenerate behavior

    We got a lesbo mayor in Houston telling pastors she has to approve their sermons from now on

    Let see how far that one goes - watch Perry call a special session and dissolve the city of Houston and turn it to county control

    Don't even think he won't do it.

    Democrats run wild -

  6. Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 11h 11 hours ago
    One thing to SAY the connections aren't there. But they are. But it doesn't matter. Out of my hands now. Newspapers have it. Authorites, too

    Oh please, please, please let this be true. The pointing and laughing will be EPIC! I can just imagine the looks on the news editors faces when they read what, I will assume, is his usual jumble of garbage in garbage out logic. Poor Bill. Now he will have legions of new people to mock him. Poor dumb bastard never learns.

    1. army bud, they get more letters like Bills than they do real ones. Dan Patrick, who is going to be the next Lt Gov of Texas used to tell people that he got 100's of Bush stuff every day - when he ran and owned KPRC and KSEV radio stations in Houston - and tons of stuff on personal attacks on people he had no idea who they are. Newspapers have very small staffs they don't have the time to spend on Bill when Ebola is going around and the elections are coming

      what editors do is flag and mark for trash - so it never get's seen or read - letters to the editor HAVE to have certain elements

      One - is it a current story

      Two - is it about a public person

      Three - is it about a serious crime

      Four - is it about public safety (street sign not replaced, sidewalk crumbling, needle in park etc)

      A hard to follow if not impossible series of tweets which with sock puppetry (like leaving fake Amazon reviews) even for me is not going to get anywhere ever in under ideal conditions

      The guy doesn't realize NO ONE CARES!!!!!

      Look even if I went to racine and I have been asked to come, its going to take more hours dinners, ride alongs until they even get comfortable with me and I'm a normal one - cops just don't take time to get into other people's business until a punch lands on a face or a body hits the morgue, or someone spends a few weeks briefing them

      The one caveat to all this is POSTING PICTURES AND AUDIO OF YOUNG GIRLS - yeah that will get a BALL ROLLING BIG TIME.

      And that's what they were mildly concerned about - wanting to meet with whoever was the parents of that young girls picture he posted

  7. I wonder how these new tweets attached to his reviews will give people a better picture of what they can avoid?

  8. I love how he's complaining that no one is saying anything on his twitter time line. I thought he considered that harassment? So he's asking to be harrassed?

    1. he is so desperate for attention his in a quivering steamy pile of bile - just wanting/needing/yearning - to reach out I can see he's suffrering with that queasy: "I need to get more pictures of young girls but I know if I do I could get caught" thing going on, the ying/yang between fear and pleasure that most creepy greasy guys who make up stories of heroism no one can confirm only can feel...

  9. I think if an author sends out tweets that negate some of the material in their books and in their comments on the reviews

    I leave it to you? Is it relevant to attach them to the reviews?

    1. Very relevant. If an author writes a book whining of his epic butthurt and the fact he is really just too stupid to realize he keeps falling for the same gags over and over and how he is such a victim and sweetheart, then goes on a vile rant hurling twitter messages full of "Cutny" and "I'm not afraid come and get me" it directly contradicts his entire premise for the book. As a potential reader, I'd want to know the author was full of shit.

  10. Hey guy guess what - I'm going to have fun today - getting things done meeting with real people - and you are going to be reviewing how to keep what you have - what little I might add - because none of us have pictures of young girls on blogs, made audio sexual rape fantasies about little girls then defended them and none of us make up shit to the police

    You're lucky they are too busy to bother with you - but as you keep trying - you "creep" up the food chain until they decide that you need an ankle bracelet and the humiliation of pissing in a cup instead of your pants

  11. Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 2h 2 hours ago
    I must say it's DARLING how Chris Heather has cleaned up his Twitter page, as if no one had taken screencaps for the cops. #p2 #tlot

    I keep thinking he just can't get any stupider without forgetting how to breath but then he goes and proves me wrong again. This man who has scrubbed more content from the web then Neal is complaining someone deleted some tweets? How many? More then the hundreds Bill has had to scrub in the last month? More then all the libelous vile lies he scrubbed from multiple websites registered under fake names?

    Wow, the stupid IS strong in this one. In the words of that great philosopher Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon"!

  12. Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 1h 1 hour ago
    In fact, isn't it QUEER that NONE of the yapping poodles over at Stinking Man will bring that shit in here?

    Bill - Don't contact me. @mentions are contact. I'm afraid, I'm a victim. I'm a huge coward and an even bigger pussy who pisses my pants when the cops come knocking. Please stay away from me. I'm skeered.

    Yep, about what we expect from Bill. Lying liars gotta lie. Tell everyone to stay away, complain when they do. Stupid. Idiot. Moron. Liar. Coward. I could go on but I think we all know his traits by now. I'll just throw this out there. He is welcome here by answering just one simple question that he refuses to answer. Who's the coward?

  13. being busy with RL certainly cuts into watching Little Bitch dance in real time.
    but I see I haven't missed much, same shit different day and all.

    is there a word for disparaging people for not contacting you after demanding they not contact you? besides "pulling a Schmalfeldt" that is?


  14. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a DOOM CLOCK!

    1. Well I can't possible see how anything can go wrong with that. Bwahahahahahahahahaha.

      He will NEVER learn. N. E. V. E. R. 3 years and he is still nothing more then a dancing puppet.

    1. And it looks like Willy is already planning on getting a twitter time out. He already has yet ANOTHER twitter account up and running (very aptly-named tho):

  15. Oh dear,
    Looks like Little Bitch has had that psychotic break from reality we've all been expecting.
    Does he actually think he is in a position to demand anything of anyone??
    Let alone dictate what others may post on websites he does not control. let alone have access to read?
    Gail really needs to get him a psych evaluation stat.

    But otherwise, point and laugh fellows, point and laugh.


  16. As far as Willy's demand goes, I'll let his best buddy Ken from Popehat answer:

    "vagueness in legal threats is the hallmark of meritless thuggery."

    Notice how Willy is unable to point out one single instance of libel.

    1. well that is par for the course for Little Bitch isn't it?

      it LOOKS like he's trying to be subtle about threatening a lawsuit if his "demands/requests" aren't met.
      Of course without actually threatening it, he can then walk it back claiming he said no such thing, cause he's such a weasel.

      If he really wants to piss away a $400 filing fee just to sue 3 people ( 2 of which will be the wrong people opening himself up to a major countersuit), no one here is gonna tell him not to.

      Hell we'll just keep pointing and laughing at him, and there isn't a damn thing he can do about that.

      It's always nice to know I only have to pop in here occasionally to see that Little Bitch is still being a Little Bitch.


      1. Anyone being sued by someone who is as reckless to make audios of young girls having sex for money - to harass their parents should highly consider the witnesses that are going to be called for their counter suit

        I don't think juries like people who pick on children

    2. And the backpedaling begins:

      Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting

      File? Did I say I WOULD file? Or do I have something else in mind. You're the risk takers. You tell me!

      RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!!!

      1. Soooo....
        Someone somewhere is going to issue summonses for what exactly?

        If not issued by a court for a specific suit then there is no legal backing to them, making them worthless.

        Kinda like everything PussPuss has ever done.


  17. If I "need" to hear from someone, I contact them. Directly. I don't post vague threats on blogs and Twitter accounts with nine followers. The reason someone might not want to do that is because deep down, they know that they've misidentified someone, and don't want to get hit with another restraining order.

    If time is of the essence, in addition to direct contact, I make clear what time zone I'm talking about. 6 pm - Hawaiian? Mountain? Greenwich?

    Finally, if A believes that B has written something false and/ or defamatory about him, then it is up to A to identify those writings and explain why they are defamatory.

  18. A multiple target doom clock! New record?

    Wonder who is going to be the first to jump ship and rat out the others. I think Howard as been looking for a way out. This may be his opportunity. /sarc

    1. You might want to get serious about this. After all he has, and I quote, "reserve the right to determine the consequences ...".

      Game over man. Wormer dropped the big one.

  19. During my daily dumpster dive at a certain Twitter timeline, I noted that certain ominous consequences are being discussed for Mr. Krendler. The Considerer of Consequences should remember that he is party to settlement agreement that dismisses with prejudice all the earlier claims he made against Mr. Krendler. Violation of that settlement agreement by reinstating any of those previous claims would be an enforceable breach of the agreement.

  20. For some reason every time I comment with a link to embed one of his tweets, it gets tossed into moderation. So...

    Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 7m 7 minutes ago
    Chris Heather. You ARE Embryriddlealum. You are ALSO Marcussenmarino. AND Guntotingteabag. Proven. So yes, your name is mentioned.


    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    1. OOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOh, better watch it there Howie, or PussPuss is going to SUMMON you with his amazing super power to issue summonses!!!

      Tell ya what there PussPuss, how about you go piss down your leg again and everyone here will just continue to mock, point and laugh at you.
      How's that?
      Cause that is all that is going to happen, you fucking pussy.

  21. Another pauper's lawsuit before a court that already thinks he's a silly little man? What did I do to deserve this joy? And for things that William said just yesterday didn't bother him? Even more wonderful!

    I can't describe how I've missed Paragraph 83 and the world of delights therein. I couldn't be happier that they're returning to me, at long last.

    1. I'm sure if he tries to file the fake "Pauper" papers again there are plenty who will send to the courts attention the fact that he has lied about his income before, has enough scratch to maintain dozens of web hosts, domains, music licenses etc. Yep he screwed himself when he posted his 1040. Put lies to his pauper claims.

      1. While perhaps some of our resident legal beagles might be able to file an amicus brief; I fear that we would not be welcome (our letters) without proper bona fides.

    2. IANAL but I was under the impression that only a court can issue a summons.
      Has PussPuss magically become a court clerk?
      Or does he think he can get away with forging court documents like his buddy does?

      go ahead and piss away your time and money PussPuss, no one here really cares.

      question, how much legal trouble could someone be facing for attempting to sue the wrong party in a bullshit lawsuit? asking for a friend.

  22. What happens when you burn an Oedipal Troll’s face off?
    It makes weird noises and crawls into walls

  23. Off topic, but I just saw a Twitter account where the guy had what looks like a giant white vibrator as part of his avatar, and a picture of a dog on a bed. Creepy and disgusting. He's made comments before using phrases like "beat like a rented mule" and "scalded puppies" and "blood of virgin babies." Blech.

  24. What do you call a dead Oedipal Troll with no arms and no legs in the middle of a swimming pool?


  25. :Dear Mommy Judge Hollander,

    It's me, Bill, again! Did you miss me as much as I've missed you? I bet you did. I'm so charming with my big, dumb voice, interesting legal theories and soiled unmentionables. And I have hipster glasses now, just like my son's!

    Anyhow, the meanies are being mean again, and I'd like you to make them stop. Also, I'd like you to make them give me their money, too. I can't afford a Costco membership at all the retail mayo is getting pricey to the point of absurdity.

    But instead of just wasting the Court's time, I'd also like to waste the court's money! You see, I have none. I once made a hundred grand a year, but now I live in a trailer, mostly because of mayo and bad decisions. So I'd be pleased as punch if you paid for it.

    I know that I said in public that childish taunts don't bother me and I don't pay them no nevermind, but they do bother me. HOOOOGEEEE! KRENNNDLEERRRR! HEATHHHHERRR!

    By the way, I have no legally recognizable way of proving the identities of most of plaintiiffs, but you shouldn't pay that no nevermind, either. Trust my Journalism! that has only failed me a dozen or so times.

    It's going to be so nice spending time with you again, You don't yell at me when I cry.

    William M. Schmalfeldt,

    Elkridge, Maryland"

      1. As an Irishman, I resent that. My people shouldn'r be equated with bottom-feeders such as William.

      1. You know, people often stop me on the street and ask how an overweight, crippled cuckold with ego, anger and intelligence issues could be The One True Love of My Life.

        My answer is always the same: "GET TO KNOW HIM!"

  26. It also appears to me that four hours is less than what any court anywhere would recognize as adequate notice of libel, particularly in the middle of a business day, when non-layabouts are expected to be working.

    Furthermore, closing his Twitter account, yet again, can be seen as consciousness of guilt or destruction of evidence in a possible counter-claim, both of which Mommy Judge Hollander is going to have trouble overlooking.

    William continues to be the gift that keeps on giving.

    1. Yes, that whole destruction of evidence thing, inasmuch (one word) as EPWJ has advised that he would file a counterclaim, and BS helpfully noted that he'd seen the comment.

  27. Any lawyers want to educate me on how easy it is to stroll into court and demand a summons be sent to people you don't even know are a correct party to whatever lawsuit you might be filing? I would imagine there is some bar that has to be passed to satisfy the court that the people they are sending summons to are indeed the correct people right? Would a (heavy) flow chart with only Yes legs suffice? Or maybe, "Just cause I say so"?

    How about penalties for just taking a flying stab at it and ending up with wrong parties? What can the plaintiff expect then? I would imagine the courts take a DIM view on people suing the wrong people right? I mean what would a plaintiff say to a judge when asked, "How did you manage to sue 4 people and get them all incorrect"?

    1. I'm neither a lawyer, or even an American, but the answer is pretty clear. He can't.

      First, William would have to have his "broke-ass butthurt" status approved by the Court, which isn't likely. Then he would have to file motions to compel from WordPress or Twitter, which they would contest. Given William's history with Twitter, that would be nothing less than a spectacular hearing.

      More likely than not, William would do something arrogant, stupid, or both, enough to kill the whole thing in the interim.

      1. Remember, this would be William's THIRD frivolous filing in less than eight months.

      2. keep in mind all PussPuss has is Jack and Shit, and Jack left town.

        I do hope Gail doesn't light a match in their trailer with all the gas he's been blowing out this morning.

        1. Come to think of it, William's circumventing his bans and suspensions on Twitter (they are many, for they are legion) COULD negate any libel claims that he legitimately has (which are none) arising from that service.

  28. Col. Trollpoker: My name's Colonel Victor Trollpoker and I've drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together. Now General Hoge has put me in charge of this Twitter war.

    Lance Corporal Rauhauser: We take care of ourselves.

    Col. Trollpoker: You couldn't take care of a wet dream. God loves you.

    Private Ferguson: I know that!

    Highway: You men do not impress me!

    PFC Retzlaff: Team Kimberlin kicks butt!

    Col. Trollpoker: [grabs Retzlaff by the nose] If you ladies think that you can slip and slide just because you only fight on the Internet, well queer bait, you're going to start acting like human beings right now!

    Lance Corporal Rauhauser: Who invited ya!

    Col. Trollpoker: I'm not doing this because I want to take long showers with you assholes and I don't want to get my head shot off in some far away land because you don't habla, comprende?

    Private Lipton: Ruh!

    Private Basic Schmalfeldt: [singing] And you really look so fine and you've got that big behind . . .

    Col. Trollpoker: [sees Schmalfeldt] Well, well, well, well. I'm here to tell you that life as you knew it has ended. You all may as well go into town tonight. You may as well laugh and make fools out of yourselves. Rub your pathetic little peckers against your honies or stick it in a knothole in the fence but whatever it is, get rid of it. Because tonight at 1800 hours, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WILL HAPPEN, and your ass is mine!!!
    Now it's my will against yours and you will lose. So don't forget, 1800. That's six o'clock at night for those of you who don't habla!!!!

  29. I would really like to see how he intends to prove in a court of law how a private blog, that he has no access too, has libeled him in anyway.

    1. He thinks just saying there's a private blog where people are saying mean things about him will buy him a fishing license to get in and find out what was said during discovery. (For those who know why that won't work, please don't educate the midget.)

  30. I seem to recall that, once upon a time, someone filed a complaint in federal court along with in forma pauperis forms. A couple weeks later, before the court had ruled on anything, including the pauperis filing, he claimed that his wife and doctor ad told him he would die if he didn't just drop the suit. Then he lost his voice, aliens landed in the back yard, and the 12 plagues of Egypt descended upon Maryland. The only thing to do was to withdraw the complaint and tell the court no "refund" (oh, that's funny. There are no refunds.) was due since he had never paid the filing fee. Mission accomplished, however: use of the courts to harass and intimidate, with filings and revelations timed to mess up people's weekends.

    Remember this, folks. The person in question keeps doing the same things over and over. Soon, another doctor's visit with dire warnings of impending death.

    1. A couple weeks? Try two DAYS. It just took a lot longer than that to be docketed properly, since the USPS misdirected the initial complaint such that the dismissal letter arrived at the courthouse before the complaint did and it took the clerk's office some extra time to sort it all out.

  31. OMG. The lulz.

    Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 3m 3 minutes ago
    File? Did I say I WOULD file? Or do I have something else in mind. You're the risk takers. You tell me!

    Well, if he doesn't file, there won't be any summons.

    Folks, seriously, 5150 time is here. It's been here for a while.

    1. So he tells folks
      "Just remember, I know who you are. I know where you live. I know where to send a summons. And once you receive the summons, game over."

      So you stupid man, how the fuck you going to send a summons if you don't file? I swear to God you have to be the biggest bag of gas on the planet.

    1. So how exactly is PussPuss expecting to have summonses served on anyone then?

      On a related topic, since we all know he sits on this blog, constantly refreshing, let me say I defy PussPuss to point to just ONE comment/blog that defames/libels/slanders him that isn't protected by the 1st amendment.

      Just one Pussy, lets see if you can do it, after all, if you're going to claim defamation, libel, slander, you better have something to back it up.

      In keeping with Pussy's penchant to DEMAND and answer in an unreasonable amount of time, let's give him till his own cut off, 6pm, to produce something that actually rises to the definition of defamation, libel or slander.

      Tick Tock Pussy, Tick Tock.

  32. I think moderation took my initial post.

    But it looks like Willy is backpedaling:

    File? Did I say I WOULD file? Or do I have something else in mind. You're the risk takers. You tell me!

    Uh, did I say six o'clock? Uh, I meant six o'clock next year.....


    Why do I know that, as a matter of scientfic certainty, that William?"

    1. Oopsie Poopsie

      Why do I know, as a matter of scientific certainty tat it will be either "nothing" or "magnificently embarrassing for William?"


    I know, right? Are you as shocked as I am that you haven't been nominated for a sainthood yet, William?

  35. Calling people "shitweasels" undercuts claims of victimhood. False, defamatory! WHO IS JERRY FLETCHER?

    He has entered into the foyer of his sweaty palmed happy place - threats of impending doom. Switch to the other site and/or protect tweets to starve the mania.

    1. yep, so much for "gentlemanly" and "respectful"
      of course since those are alien concepts for Mr Pussy of course he couldn't maintain them for long.


    Will they point? Laugh? Wrestle?

    1. From what I've seen here and teh seekrit place; giggle like teenagers at a pathetic old fool cursing at them,IMPOTENTLY, from his porch.

      ...and no, I didn't leave out the 'R'...


        Why am I sure that it doesn't? Am I a prophet?

        We'll see in 24 minutes, won't we? But I'll bet I'm a prophet!


    I prefer "An appreciation of the fine Schmalfedtian comedic stylings, but whatever.


    I beg to differ. And, as usual, I'm correct and you are not.


    Tick tock goes the Doom Clock
    When it stops, it blows up in William's face.
    Damn it all, that doesn't rhyme.

    1. Fatboi is writing checks his ass can't cash...because he doesn't get off the damn thing!


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