Another Fun Comment From Cabin Boy And/Or Friend

First, a note on the post title. I have concluded, through my mad internet investigative journalism skillz that the comment below was submitted by the Oedipal Ass Troll through a proxy in Tilton, New Hampshire (where??), or it was submitted by his friend.

This is the iffy part…I have not been able to confirm the existence of a “friend.” I’m sure that he can’t have more than one friend. I mean, I could self-publish a shopping list on Amazon and get 5 positive reviews from my friends. And it wouldn’t have to be a particularly artful shopping list, either.

So it was either Mister Mayonnaise or his only friend, using the name Knot Neal, who posted the following:


But I really think it’s Your Jovial Host of Roly-Poly Radio who is the culprit. There are two main reasons I have reached this obvious conclusion.

  1. The content. We all know what he loves more than anything. Always with the BUTT STUFF, right? Can’t escape it.
  2. The writing style. It’s so very familiar. (Actually, that’s horseshit, but he likes to trot that out frequently enough that it needs to mocked.) It’s not easy to write in his style on purpose. I expect that to thoroughly imitate him successfully would require the ingestion of some really powerful recreational pharmaceuticals. And maybe some paint chips.

So I’m thinking this was our Serially Adjudicated Cyber Harassing Super Victimtroll.

And unless he denies it within some arbitrary period after this post appears, then we’ll all know it’s true.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

203 thoughts on “Another Fun Comment From Cabin Boy And/Or Friend”

  1. Is it harassment if the person in questions never emails you, never tweets you, never contacts you in any way and you, in fact, have to actively search them out? If they don't mention your name, and you just assume that every moniker they choose to use is referring to you? Legally, the answer is NO.

  2. Shocking that the only one fixated on me and my family suddenly there are these msg's - and then the idiot declare oh hey you cant prove it came from my computer.....

    Guy needs to quit hanging around violent felon, drug dealers, pedophiles, terrorists, and bombers

    Otherwise he may just give people the impression he wants to be one of them.

    1. Two words: MAC address. A subpoena to his internet provider to provide the MAC address of his computer. Thus all postings and uses of TOR and other anonymizers comes falling down. The MAC address is retained by all internet providers. It is unique to the hardware.

      1. thanks Paul there are even higher levels at the "wire" and optics level as well - problem is - you have to care and who does he actually already "proved" that he is the only suspect - if it comes down to it - it really looks bad for him

        But hey why stop him he's on a roll - looking for more screen shots of self incrimination coming soon from someone who Hoge once wisely advised to remain silent

        Its a right!

  3. Is the the 500th or 501st time he has crowed about someone going to jail? Or being in big trouble, or whatever choice of words spews forth from his deranged mind this week? How many people have actually gotten in any trouble? 0. Big fat zero batting average for the adjudicated harasser. You'd think he'd learn. But nope, apparently the stupid is even strong then we suspected in that one.

    1. Now the brave hero of 7/27 Barney Rubble says he looks all those young girls and now boys in the eye when he posts them on his website for his pedo friends, violent felons and drug dealers.


  4. Someone never out grew the anal stage of development. Is it because they never got to act out an unfulfilled desire with a parental figure or sibling? However, the projection is strong with this one. No telling what strange devices (plugs etc) it keeps in its closet.

  5. Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@WMSBroadcasting

    My butt is just fine, kiddies! Clean as a whistle and pain free. Gonna be hard for a pipsqueak like "Howard D. Earl" to say the same, soon.

    Bill should advertise Mayonnaise clonics on your website. It seem to work well for you; especially, in widening your orifices so you spew more idiocies on twitter.

  6. Nowhere in his post does Paul refer to Mr. Schmalfeldt. He does refer to someone by the names "cabin boy," "Serially Adjudicated Cyber Harassing Super Victimtroll," "Oedipal Ass Troll," and "Mr. Mayonnaise." Is Mr. Schmalfeldt saying that he now answers to these names? Tsk, tsk.

  7. Holy moly. I was just checking tweets and saw that Mr. Schmalfeldt has just admitted that Chris Heather is not ERA! What else could this be? Is he going to apologize to Mr. Heather, his girlfriend, and his mother? Is he now saying that ERA, whom he has been stalking for three years, is the same person as Paul, who surfaced this year? So, is ERA Patrick Grady? Or Jeremy Kinsey? No? How about Lynn Thomas? Greg Patent? No? So, the months and months of degrading, defamatory content he posted about Chris Heather was wrong.

  8. Wait, WHAT?
    All this time he's been caterwauling that he never attacks, he only defends himself. But now not only does he attack, but he looks his victims in the eyes so he can see the fear?

    Seek help, sir.

    And as for his enablers, starting with his spouse: shame on you.

    1. He really is living in his own little world, isn't he? What's the word, infantilism, anal explusive developmental disorder, narcissicistic personality disorder no they took that off the books when Obama got elected, ugh, it starts with a 'P'...
      I used to have such a good vocabulary until I started reading twitter.

    1. in a town with 26 officers a warning went out - stop patrolling the school zones, bring in the detectives, cancel the DARE program, the 15 assault cases, because we have someone mocking a multistate serial adjudicated Harasser and they made fun of him on the net.

      Yeah totally dude - see it happening....

      Question is when we he release us?

  9. Zero
    Not holding Value
    Not Divisible
    When Multiplied by any number returns Zero
    Book Sales
    Friendly reviews
    Complaints enacted
    Comments on Website
    Number of editorial positions currently holding
    Amount raised for Parkinsons

    1. Look what I found. From May. Howard, how long have you been hearing this?


    He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him. I'll chase him round the Knot My Wisconsin a and round the Operation Burn Notice and round Thinking Man's Zombie's stewed brains before I give him up!

    1. "You're done, "embryriddlealum." You're just not smart enough to realize it."
      3 May 2014 @PatOmbudsman

      Still waiting.

      1. Alter course? Not bloody likely! I left that off the end of the quote for a reason. More like:

        Lookout: "Iceberg right ahead!"

        Officer of the Watch: "Right full rudder! All back full!"

        Admiral Assmunch: "BELAY THAT ORDER! Rudder amidships, all ahead flank!"

  11. If he DOESN'T deny it, it will, according to his rules, certainly be true. If he does deny it, that doesn't count unless he proves his denial to be true. Get a GRIP on the rules, Krendler.

  12. The feldtdown is strong and oedipal today. Will it end with Dick Dents foaming mayonnaise from his mouth in disappointed desperation, gargling rauhauser's, or taking the little kimby up the .... or all of the three? Good God Man! I hope the dogs all have plenty peanut butter. Please, Pity poor Gail, she'll have to clean up the mess.

  13. He was a navy corpsman, the first job boot corpsman is assigned when they report to a ship is "pecker checker".

    1. Endeavors Howard would fail at;
      Sucking dick
      Being such a lousy father that his own kids won't speak to him
      Being such a lousy example of a man that two wives would rather screw other men then him
      Taking Kimberlin deep

    The term "ground rent" mean anything to you? Legally speaking you own a vehicle, not real estate. Your title is issued by the DMV, not recorded in the register of deeds.

  15. For someone who is "done" with someone else, he sure is writing a lot of tweets.

    And he must still think Howard is Chris Heather, since he seems to think Howard lives in his mother's basement.

  16. "Officer Marcussen. That retarded guy from Maryland is on the horn again. He seems particularly agitated. He wants to know if the Federal Marshals have been dispatched to Arizona to apprehend Howard Earl?"

    "OH FOR FUCK SAKE, Marilynn, tell hem I've been detached to the Ferguson, MO police department and I may be gone for an extended period of time. Maybe he'll take the guy who's been beating his ass on the interwebz advice and take THE CURE!!"

    1. Don't forget his "fearsome gaze" hahahahahahaha

      LOL Oh. My. Goodness. Wow. hahahaha

      Got that a bit mixed up, didn't he? hahahaha

      Thank you, thank you, thank you, Howard and epwj! 😀

  17. Wow Just Wow...that's a whole heap 'o twitticus vomitus.... I was wondering what to do this afternoon for entertainment and BAM! Hilarious, Ty guys!

  18. "I could really, truly harass you if that were my speed. But I'm into living a quiet life. But if I wanted to, I could run you ragged..."

    I don't believe you pack the gear, son. Just like your daddy.


    You can't do it.

    And everyone watching KNOWS IT.

  19. he reminds me of the twin who was stuck in the truck door in the mockumentory about the Lutheran high school pageant I forget the name - oh year drop dead gorgeous....

  20. "...all by [him]self..."

    Same as it ever was; same as it ever will be. That's what happens to disgusting freaks - they're shunned by society.

  21. I have NEVER made fun of that man's weight. And there he is accusing women who are too small to shop at Lane Bryant (that's under size 16 by the way) of being "ginormous".

    Hey, based on a three year old picture, let's all call someone with knee problems bad enough to warrant two surgeries (probably looking at a third soon) and a handicapped parking pass fat. (Because Bill KNOWS just how much weight someone has gained or lost through his psychic powers!)

    If he had the balls to come and say that to my face, he'd be leaving quickly with a my palm print on his face and wishing he didn't have his "purse", nor anything in it. Of course that's a best case scenario assuming he managed to avoid my husband.

      1. He could try. And "try" is the operative word.

        I get the same vibe off Bill that I got off a Paul I knew years ago. I had no desire to be around the guy and couldn't understand all the friends I had who liked the guy and respected him.

        As my mother says, while some folks have "gaydar", I have a very fine-tuned "creepdar".

        His murder trial got bumped off Court TV for Loreena Bobbitt. He's now doing life down in Florida. Turns out he had mob connections, and occasionally did little favors, like helping with a hit on wife who had left her husband. They killed the woman and left the 3 month old to die of starvation and dehydration in it's crib. Since his fingerprints were found in the baby's room he didn't have much of a defense.

  22. So what have we learned today, boys and girls?
    1. I am not Chris Heather
    2. I am Paul Krendler
    3. I am Patrick Grady
    4. I am Chris Heather (again)
    5. The Ashland Police most likely are positive that Shakey is flakey
    6. I live rent free between the dick dents
    7 Shakey called his lovely bride, "Skeletar"
    8. The Admiral hut himself picking up a candy wrapper
    9. He says "cunt" alot
    10. He dances to MY tune.

    He is a case study, FO SHO!!!

    1. You forgot to mention that he repeatedly tweets photos that he claims to find offensive, thereby undermining his claim.

  23. Someone knows where I live and has posted it and I would highly advise him to remain off my property at all times same for all his violent felon friends - pictures have been distributed and with the warning to consider them to be highly dangerous

    Of course 400 word twitter screeds don't help the image of the peaceful Parkinson's advocate

  24. When you encourage someone to come to your house and threaten you, you can't really claim to be a victim.

  25. What on earth are the cops going to want to spend time and money to ID a guy who mocks a serial multistate harasser who posts disturbing pictures of young girls and boys on his websites?

    Gee, then uses the C word 50 times in an hour in public - oh yeah that's the ticket - why fight crime when butthurt for felon lovers goes unpunished?

  26. Wow. For someone too physically disabled to write from home, he's produced over 500 tweets in four days, and I believe that less than 100 of them are from automated radio station announcements.

    1. Funny, I don't see anything in the above comment about how he should be working. It's just an observation..

      I guess it struck a nerve. LOL

      1. He has said more than once that he was "forced" to retire but has never been forthcoming with the reasons why. Which is unusual for such a chronic over sharer like him...

  27. Howard, I love ya like a brother, man. Sniff.
    Someone else, however, has other types of feelings for you. Erotic, it appears. Sorry, dude.

    1. He's fixated on our darling Howard as a focal point for his rage. Can't bear to look in the mirror to see who is really responsible for him being such a totally rejected total failure.

      Of course, that's understandable - no one wants to look at him. arrrrgghhhh


      Thank you, Howard!!

  28. Wonder if his most excellent friends Wee Willy and Osbourne know he hates people that live in Mom's basement? They both live in their mom's basement don't they? I mean it's not like either of them work for a living. Wee Willy "produces" music no one listens to and Osbourne took a page from Schmalfail and writes stuff no one reads.

  29. With increasing amount of tweets, large volumes of mayonnaise must be spewing forth from his head dents.

  30. Did he just seriously say that we all just watched Howard get butt fucked by him? First off..ewwwwwww. Second, what I see is Howard once again pulling the strings while good old puppet Bill dances to his tune. It's nothing less then predictable after 3 years. Howard says jump, Bill asks "How high"? Over and over and over. Consequences to Howard? 0. To Bill? Booted from FB how many times? Fired several times from examiner, loss of dozens of twitter accounts. Hey Bill, if that is your idea of victory you might want to buy a dictionary.

    1. Oh, forgot to mention that there are dozens, heck maybe hundreds, of folks that now know what a twisted freak Bill is and they all point and laugh every time Howard gets his dancing monkey all wound up and sets it loose.

  31. Well, this is truly an epic feldtdown.

    Seldom has Willy come across so unhinged. And considering he comes across unhinged daily, that's quite a feat.


      1. Still falling. The Coward of Elkridge. Deleting the vile shit so he can play pretend victim. How very typical of him.

    1. But -- but -- but -- (cos he likes it so much) -- but that's not his style! hahaha

      Great big lying loser. hahaha

  32. The Deranged Cyberstalker and Adjudicated Harasser Bill Schmalfeldt is OBSESSED with Howard D. Earl! OBSESSED! Every thought BS has, every word BS spews, every action BS takes/considers taking is wholeheartedly centered around Howard!

    This is CONTROL at its finest! The Blob is OWNED by Howard! OWNED!

    The Elkridge Horror needs to accept what is staring him directly in his fat face... he is CONTROLLED, and continues to dance like the rabid, demented, monkey freak he is!


    1. Yep. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub.

      Poor, dumb dope. The Blob still doesn't understand that whole "The Internet is forever." concept.

      "You wanna mock my mom? Go ahead! You wanna mock my dad? Go ahead! You wanna mock my wife? Go ahead! You wanna CONTROL me? No can do!"


      The Elkridge Horror... OWNED! CONTROLLED!

      DANCE, you rabid, demented, monkey freak! DANCE! LOLOLOL!

  33. And it's back up to 470. Though since his timeline is protected, no one is going to actually read them.

  34. Why does BS delete his tweets? I thought he was up front, in your face, unashamed. Oh. You mean he lied, AGAIN?

    P.S. He's already back, with most of the obscenities deleted from his timeline. I think he'd call someone like that a coward, sacless, etc., etc.

    A week or so ago he said he was going to set up a website in honor of his wife, the very next day, to show the world how wonderful she is.

    He forgot.

    1. didn't he also say something about how someone who deletes tweets is hiding something??
      I remember him saying that about "smoking gun" tweet that PROVED!!!11!! Howard was Heather that he thought was deleted (when it wasn't).

      dumbass gonna dumbass I guess

    2. Of course PussPuss said no such thing, and since the account he was using when he tweeted it has been suspended since then, no one can prove different!! /sarc

      PussPuss is a lying little bastard isn't he?

  35. DAMN Little Bitch has been off the rails today.

    Why is he demanding Howard contact him? Hasn't he said repeatedly for Howard not to contact him? Kinda hard to claim to be a victim of harassment when you invite people to contact you over and over innit?

    I guess someone felt the need to carry Monkey Dance Monday over into Meltdown Tuesday.

    get help Little Bitch, seriously.

      1. Just sent a 'tip' in to howard county, someone should be getting a wellness check visit shortly. have fun!

  36. He does realize that it only takes ohe visit? Twitter lets you scroll back for 7 days......

  37. BS has posted a new Twitter avatar, a photo of himself holding a large, white dildo, smiling.
    So sad. So very, very sad.

    1. Now Gail is pissed because her dildo (her only source of satisfaction), smells like shit and mayo.

      1. that look in his eyes... staring at that mayo-encrusted pleasure stick (or 'Brett' as Gail nicknamed it) reminds Shaky of the good ol navy days, when the sausage was plentiful and Free!

    1. Howard, you know this type of stuff only arouses some people. Unrequited passion can be tricky to deal with. It drives some people round the bend.

  38. Anyone have an online repository where the screenshot files are saved so those of us who miss the real time action can see them after the usual expurgation comes through?

    1. yup, all on the other site. Did you see the new trailer pics? can't believe someone managed to get that close w/out waking the dogs

  39. Bill Schmalfeldt @WMSBroadcasting · 3m 3 minutes ago
    Hey, @embryriddlealum @guntotingteabag or whoever you are. What do they mean by "waste of finite resources"?

    Isn't that cop speak for "You are a flaming crazy asshole, now kindly leave us alone and never contact us again"?

  40. Since I know that Bill keeps his eyes glued to this site, refreshing constantly, I thought I should give him some pictures. I don't want to know what he does with them in the privacy of his own home.

    Since he's so worried about my dental hygiene....

    And he obviously is concerned for my weight, so I thought I should give him a glimpse of my morbidly obese ankles

    and wrists....

    l guess he's one of those guys who figures any woman who is larger than a size 4 is disgusting. Or else he's just trying to hide his crush on me. Making fun of a girl's appearance is normal for boys in middle school or upper elementary when they like a girl.

      1. As a teen I was 5'4" and 120 lbs, and my father constantly ragged on me for being fat. I've got a rather skewed perception too. But I carry my weight mostly the way Sophia Vergara carries hers, i.e. in the right places. 😉

        And I can guarantee that I carry less weight per inch of height than a certain devoted stalker in MD does.

  41. Hey Jerry, why don't you be a pal and help Bill out huh?

  42. Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@WMSBroadcasting 2m2 minutes ago
    He sent me this last week.

    How, precisely, was it "sent"?


    OMG you guys really it like wrapping empty xmas present for a toddler stop teasing the poor dumb animal...

        1. Well, we have definitely been treated to an airing of grievances. I suppose Howard's puppetteering (is that a word? Fuck it - it's my blog) would qualify under Feats of Strength.

  44. Totally OT: I just discovered Hobby Horse Polo. Wiki gives it a category heading (among several) of "children's games". However this game involved "punitive sherry"! (Or vodka, Brottrunk or Jägermeister, umpires personal preference.) In one game 12 players between them had 200 punitive sherries. I'm not sure I could imagine playing this even if my knee was still good, but it sure sounds fun to watch.

  45. We are all playing other at the other site - it's easier to plot nefarious things out of sight 🙂
    And to anyone who has lost weight congratulations

    1. Really, I can't believe Mr X has been driving by the trailer everyday, getting those candid shots, with Slick WIlly not even realizing it. Perhaps we should have X start contacting neighbors.


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