It's AMAZING!

I had thought before now that only John Hoge possessed the power to manipulate men’s minds. Then I thought that perhaps I had a small degree of talent at dragging certain people to my blog to be offended. This may be true; surely more scientific study is required. Does anyone know how to contact Drs. Stantz, Venkman & Krendler?

Anyway, that’s what I thought until earlier today when I received what was an unmistakable psychic message:

Dear Paul,

Gail and Dr. Grill have both threatened to take my computer away if I continue blogging and tweeting. Would you please replace all my fucked-up comments with this message, and ban me because I have dementia, a full pair of Depends, and no impulse control whatsoever?

Thanks

A clear request for a voluntary ban. I was powerless to resist!

All comments have been replaced by the above message, as requested. However, I am loathe to outright ban anyone, so instead, I have done my best to force this person’s comments into moderation, where I will try to divine and reproduce their TRUE intention before releasing them. Failing that, I will delete them before risking a complete misinterpretation.

Should any comment somehow pass through the filter, I’ll deal with them as they come.

It saddens me to do this, to risk losing a reader and prolific commenter this way, but as I said, I’m powerless against the mind control.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

18 thoughts on “It's AMAZING!”

  1. hahahaha That post fits so well with his twitter feed, I didn't realize you translated it! hahahaha Well done, sir. πŸ˜‰

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  2. I do hope you contemplate putting your considerable talent to use on other subjects, Paul. You are a very fun read. And who knows? Maybe the millionth time is the charm and the vile creature will really stay away this time. πŸ™‚

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  3. Please PLEASE tell me you saved the original comments...

    they could be very helpful at the psych eval....

    O.o

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  4. Knock Knock!!!

    Umm, Who's there?

    Serial Adjudicated Harasser!!!!

    Uh, Serial Adjudicated Harasser - who?

    QUIT CONTACTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. serial adjudicated harasser says he may just let Hoge have a default judgement against him, cause he's just so sick and DYING!!1!1, that he just cant imagine fighting the "evil forces" arrayed against him, did you hear he's DYING!!11! yep and those evil RWNJ are yapping at his feet, high fiving over his being libeled and defamed, applauding his being fired all while he's DYING!1!!...

    poor poor widdle twinkie...
    did I mention he was DYING!!1!!11?

    suck it up buttercup.

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    1. Mr. Bill's dying is about as realistic as the 200+ pound soprano playing the consumptive on her death bed. But at least the soprano has a good voice, a decent librettist and an often inspired composer on her side. Mr. Bill has bypassed the composer and doesn't have the voice, which simply leaves his librettist to salvage the situation, but sadly he is doing it himself, showing off in all his sadistic, pornographic glory.

      Shorter version: He's a f'n drama queen. (I was going to say "bloody", since years on the other side of the pond have affected my vocabulary, but I figured Bill would read it and accuse me of trying to murder him with my voodoo or something.)

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      1. we all know the reality that he does have a degenerative disease and yes eventually it will put him down, in a very painful, dignity degrading way...
        However, his being in that situation doesn't mean others have to put up with his antics just because he is ill. It also doesn't absolve him of the consequences of his own actions when they come back to bite him in the ass...

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        1. We have neither choice nor control when it comes to dying.

          When it comes to "dying with dignity," it is ENTIRELY about choice and control.

          And we're discussing a man who has refuses to make the choice to exercise the required control. He will pass from this world angry, alone, unloved and unpitied. All by choice.

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      2. He has a degenerative disease, but how long it's going to take to kill him is anybody's guess. Supposedly the stress of our "harassment" and "bogus", "illegal" DMCA takedown claims is hastening his end. But there's still a chance that any one of the rest of us will shuffle off this mortal coil before he does, whether through disease or accident.

        It's just that, as with the overweight soprano, it's hard to believe that his disease is as severe as he claims. And given that having been told (he claims) to "stop or die", he seems not the least bit interested in stopping. His behaviour would certainly indicate that he has a death wish.

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      3. Oh please. You don't hear me complaining. I have a degenerative disease that will leave me in pain everyday for the rest of my life. It's degenerative, but it won't kill me. Just cripple me further. And leave me languishing in greater pain as it progresses. Until I finally do die. I'm not sure which is worse.

        Ehh. Fuck it. Who's buying the next round?

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